As I Am
by KitKat Roar
Summary: Edward Cullen, vampire, telepath... And occasional seventeen year old boy. An unlikely friendship leads the way to Edward falling for the right human, and discovering the meaning to love and immortality. A journey through the naivety of young love of the immortal, and the threat of his world on this rare treasure he has found. The sequel, Before I Die is up.
1. Something Different

I shouldn't feel this way.

I shouldn't look at them and feel this way.

They are my siblings; they are my family, my brothers and sisters and friends. I shouldn't look upon the love they have found in each other with such… anger. I shouldn't envy them the subtle touches and deep looks or they're tight hugs and sweet kisses. I should be happy thy have found each other… I should be joyous to bare witness to their love…

I should be content to sit in this plastic chair, in this square space filled with the insistent chatter-mental and audible-of all these human children accompanied by the sound of them munching and chewing their food. I should be content to sit with Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper in this pallid cafeteria and watch their love filter through our human disguise so easily…

I should be content and grateful.

_**Oh gosh… they are all so beautiful…**_

_**Those girls have got to be the most gorgeous…**_

_**Swim suit models…**_

_**That boy with the gorgeous hair… yum!**_

The same old mundane chatter I had to adhere to with each new high school… being the new kids was always entirely _annoying _each time. They would react instantly to our predatory attractiveness-females and males swooning and lusting with each sight and close encounter with us-but still remain at a subconscious distance. Their thoughts would get less aggressive with time and settle on a little noticing when we passed… for most…

We were really hoping to stay longer here. Forks weather and small community were all to perfect for us. The perfect getaway from being a vampire for a few years… the perfect getaway from being completely alone in a house full of people.

_Why so glum?_ Alice asked, frowning a little-her ash nose scrunching up and thin purplish lips pulling down.

I shook my head one-a slow turn to the left and then relaxed my posture again. It could have easily been mistaken by the others as a sigh but she knew what it meant. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't have the words to voice it out to her with out sounding… jealous and depressed. Because maybe that was what I was but my pride would never let me anyway… my torturous pride that was probably the reason I was here… alone… holding the ever burning candle to light the love of my siblings…

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

The thought that I had to this over and over again forever was beginning to dawn on me with this new turn in the century. With this new species of human the nineties had spewed forth; a much more selfish, vindictive, shallow, obtuse, immoral version of the previous mortals. It fascinated me how they had become more skilful in wrapping their sin in coats of self righteous intention… as long as they had eradicated slavery and stopped killing the Jews-they were good. Anything else was collateral in this day and age…

_He must be shy_ a soft thought filtered through the sound of the admiring sex laced fantasies of the rest of my English classmates. I started a little, slightly surprised to view my face from the anonymous girl's thoughts. I wasn't some runway model sent back to school by the Armani fashion house to test a theory on brains and beauty (I had chuckled when I had heard this particular thought in biology-very original)… I was a pale boy, gazing out at the dark sky and frowning sadly as though he missed his old home.

The girl felt pity for me. I turned around slowly ad raked the left side of the class for her, waiting for the moment when I saw my eyes locking with hers from her mind and uncovered her identity. I saw her-a pale small girl with dark hair and horn rimmed glasses peering up at me from her text book. Her eyes went large when they connected with mine and she dropped them abruptly back to the book-her thoughts momentarily a frenzied disorder of images and incoherent thoughts before she began compulsively re-reading the page on from her students guide to Hamlet.

I had scared her.

Direct contact with humans always did that. We were beautiful angels from afar but when we came to close and reached out-their latent instincts kicked up a fuss and like the little girl sitting quietly at the back of the class-their hearts would hammer that intricate pattern that excited out instincts and any option for us to remain angels vanished. We instantly became the demon… we instantly snatched their frail bodies and crushed them before trying to feel for that pulse in our own bodies, drinking that life force and imagining their slowing heart beats were really our own. The slow beating would momentarily replace the sound of our silent dead hearts and in that moment we would be alive… as they died.

For most vampires anyway-almost all of the population in fact-except for us select that had retained some measure of conscious in our living death. The ones who had been touched by a too compassionate man and trained the mindless vampire monster to remain at bay…so we could manage the humans beating hearts and magnetic scents-so we could sit in classrooms and repeat English Literature for the billionth time…

"Morning Class" the teacher huffed, entering the class room in a jumbled motion-suitcase dropping to the floor as she reached to shut the door behind her, stretched out red cardigan being caught in the door as she closed it, bending down to pick her suit case up and of course seeing as her cardigan is securely lodged in with the door-her movement being halted in a comical display of her reaching down for her suitcase, unable to reach it from being trapped in her cardigan and other hand reaching for the door.

If she opened the door while still moving for her suit case she is going to fall.

She does just that and stumbles forward before falling on top of her suitcase, luckily stopping her face from hitting the linoleum with her outstretched arms.

The class erupts in laughter and snickers and I am left hating being a vampire-it would have been so easy to stop this… to run over to her in a millisecond and catch her or stop her from opening the door while trying to pick her suitcase up at the same time. I know human women are under the impression they are master multitasking beings but _this _was just _pitiful._

"Uh…" she murmurs, getting up and rubbing her hands on her loose fitting grey pencil skirt. She looks around the classroom embarrassed and tucks her hair behind her ear self consciously. "I'm your uh…"

_Oh god, they look like a pack of hyenas! Oh god, what the fuck have I gotten myself into… oh god, oh god…_

"I'm…" she mutters, folding her arms over her chest in a move that alerts the entire class that she is weak and can easily be walked over in terms of late assignments and lack of general respect…

_My name! Say your name Leah!_

"I'm your teacher" she says more audibly, nodding her head as though to confirm the matter to herself. "I'm your teacher… and my name is… Leah Clearwater"

A boy raises his hand instantly, smirking to his friends around him and winking at one girl. He was the resident popular jock… I hadn't bothered to learn of his name naturally but his thoughts…

_Oh gosh, what a loser_ he chuckled, waving his hand petulantly at Leah Clearwater.

"Uh, yes… you" she said, pointing to the boy-the only person who had his hand up-before pushing her thick glasses up her nose.

"Hello everyone" the boy said, rising from his seat and grinning at everyone… I gathered from the rest of the children's thoughts his name was Mike Newton. The pretty popular boy of the school… his eyes met mine as he sucked in the attention around him and he frowned.

I realised he was frowning at me because I had been frowning at him.

_Those Cullen's…_ he seethed. _Freaks… think they are better than everyone and they've only been here two days…_

"Well… I was just wondering" he said, chuckling lightly. I groaned before he finished voicing out his thoughts… "I was wondering if we are supposed to call you Leah or…? And aren't you a bit young to be holding a suitcase and dressing like a granny?"

Leah Clearwater's eyes went large-they were already large as it was I realised, behind the thick lese of her glasses-and she may have been blushing. It was difficult to tell with her dark skin but there was a definite reddish tint on her already russet skin.

"You…" she stammered, pushing her black straight dishevelled hair back awkwardly. "You may call me Ms Clearwater… and I am your History teacher"

"Then you are in the wrong classroom" A girl seated next to Mike sniggered. "This is English…"

_Idiot…_

"English…" she whispered, looking at all of us with new terrified eyes. We weren't just hyenas in her mind now… we were rabid hyenas and she had turned into a sacrificial lamb.

The door opened right on time and Mr Gilmore entered, suitcase secured in his hand and suit buttoned, tie positioned neatly in his collar and hair combed perfectly. He stood still in the middle of the doorway and gaped at Leah Clearwater-eyes wide and questioningly before realisation dawned on him.

_The new teacher they hired from the Reservation…!_

"Oh… hello there" he said smiling friendly at the terrified young woman. "You've met my mongrels…"  
>He waved a dismissive hand over the class and there were a few protests and hoots.<p>

"Hope they greeted you politely and quoted some Shakespeare" he chuckled. "Do you need help finding your class dear?"  
>She nodded in a slightly manic way, shot the class one last terrified look before following Mr Gilmore out of the classroom. He was kind and understanding of her little confusion and was leading her down the corridor to her class of less terrifying eight graders –while giving her advice on how to manage teenagers.<p>

The class returned to its droning sound of chatter and laughter while I watched slightly hypnotized my frowning face though the quiet girls mind at the back of the classroom.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Of all the lessons a high school offered, P.E was the worst for vampires. We were built for speed and strength at an exponential level in comparison to human beings. Movement was judged differently in our eyes, everything else was too slow or graceless. Bumbling movements through the world, floating paper bags through the air because we were _stream line jets, torpedo's and human cheetah's_ when it came to the very movement of our limbs.

P.E was torture and a disgrace to our very capabilities. Moving like slugs in quicksand to keep up our charade, pretending not to see the stupid balls flung our way to stay out of being picked in any sporting team… and most irritatingly trying not to bump into any of the clumsy children tripping and scampering all over the place. Like blind mice on speed…

_Why does he stand outside the group? He really doesn't want to be here…_ she thoughts. Her name was Angela Weber and she was not imagining herself in love with me as all the other girls but her constant watching over me was making me uneasy. It made me uneasy because I think I would have rather preferred she succumbed to her hormones than genuinely worry over the pale boy frowning and scowling at everything…

I saw her from the corner of my eye, watching me through her glasses and gnawing her lip worriedly. She hadn't realised that Jessica Stanley-one girl whose thoughts got louder and more vulgar about me with each passing second-was talking animatedly to her about how she thought she had seen Edward Cullen look at her in Biology…

"Angela!" Jessica hissed, punching Angela's arm and startling her terribly. She jumped back and began apologising profusely to Jessica for not listening. Her voice was low and soft-like her voice bock was still brand new from lack of usage.

"You were looking at him" Jessica accused, narrowing her eyes at Angela who blushed a little. I saw her face through Jessica's mind-Jessica liked that Angela was small and wore glasses. She liked that Angela seemed colour blind and insisted on dressing like a Christmas tree and was scared of almost everyone. She liked that Angela didn't 'dim her shine'… and didn't mind that Angela was staring at me because she thought Angela didn't stand a chance… Angela didn't have boobs she was sure, under that thick school sweater she insisted on wearing on top of her gym clothes.

Jessica Stanley had thought all these things in under five seconds-securing my theory of how self righteously vile humans were…

"So… he is so yummy isn't he?" Jessica squealed, rolling her eyes like I was some kind of new intoxicating fragrance she had smelt at a beauty store-which I was literally-and pulling out a dozen imagined images of me naked. She managed to keep my pale face but merged it with some tan actor she liked… absurd…

"He looks lonely" Angela whispered and I quickly looked away as she decided to peer at me again. "Think he wishes of his sibling were with him for P.E?"

"What…?" Jessica asked, frowning violently. "You are so weird sometimes… I want to jump his bones and you want to adopt him or something…"

"He is adopted, funnily enough" Angela said softly, smiling slightly at the irony of their conversation.

"Uh… okay…"Jessica said sceptically. "Moving on… I think Lauren has her eyes on him too. Hell, I think all the girls think they can get a shot…"

"The coach is here" Angela muttered, not feeling up to another hate conversation from Jessica. "We better head down"

I sat in my car-music playing lightly in the background-and waiting impatiently for my siblings to arrive. They always walked slow-well, human like-when coming out when I wished they would at least shuffle a little faster. This was all some adventure to them because they had each other in their classrooms to done out the humans. They didn't have the rush I always contained…

The passenger doors open simultaneously and they pile in graciously-Jasper seated shot gun as normal, to make room for his longer legs.

"Impatient" he murmured reading my emotions, grinning a little. "What's new…?"

_You should try a little change in your 'school habits'. Makes it bearable…_

"I've been doing this longer than you" I hissed, pulling the car out of the Forks High grounds and revving it down the tree encased road.

"Hmm, someone's touchy today" Rosalie snickered from the back. "Actually, when are you not pmsing…?"

I could have easily said the same number of years she hasn't _been_… but we were in the car-my car for that matter-and I didn't want our fighting to have to disrupt the others. I wasn't so selfish in that regard….

"Oh, come on Ed…" Emmett huffed from directly behind me before leaning forward to whisper uselessly in my ear. "You got to loosen up, bro…"  
>"Firstly" I sighed, rolling my eyes as I instinctually pulled the Volvo into the little hidden drive way that led down to the house. "Don't call me Ed… ever. I don't know how many times have to say it…"<br>"Okay, Ed" he laughed.

"And secondly, you don't know that I didn't loosen up" I said, frowning at their sceptical thoughts.

"Okay…" Alice said, her voice full of cynical patience. "What did you do differently, dear _Edward?"_

"Well…" I said, parking the car and looking back at my favourite sister. She grinned at me-little sharp white teeth gleaming without any light.

"I tripped today-on my way to P.E" I said softly and they all 'oohed' and 'ahhed' in fake wonder and admiration before roaring with laughter. I joined them freely-forgetting in that moment as our laughter brought joy to Esme's heart back in the house-how entirely different I had felt about my lovely siblings hours ago.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Living forever has absolutely no perks or joy. It always amazes me the wonder and obsession humans go through on their quest for immortality. Did they know they were running around to look for a way to live forever-to live forever and watch every one you love die. To live for eternity to look upon the same things changed and twisted to slightly different versions of its previous self…"

"Your ranting and moaning is cutting into my enjoyment of my meal" Jasper groaned, dropping the carcass at his feet and wiping his mouth absently. I never understood why he couldn't try to control it a little more-the monster inside him-and not crush the poor elk's bones to dust inside its still living body before snapping its head(almost severing it) and drinking greedily and messily so there was blood on the grass and on his earth coated clothes.

The argument I would have to endure listening to between him and Alice over the destruction of that damn shirt…

"Dude, just _live_" Emmett sighed, dragging the growling and hissing lion by the tail back to us.

"A hard thing to do when you don't have a beating heart…" I mumbled but of course they heard me and they groaned simultaneously, Jasper waving a hand in the hair in defeat, his thoughts going back to Alice and the sex he was looking forward too…

"Could you keep the thoughts pg thirteen please" I sighed and he smiled shyly but failing to stop the visuals from spinning of my favourite sister. He could be worse than Emmett sometimes…

"And Emmett, just kill it and be done" I snapped.

"If you're not depressing me with your angsty jargon…"he muttered, snapping the squirming lion's neck irritably. "You're nagging me like Esme…"

"It's settled" Jasper laughed. "You're a fairy"  
>"I am not gay!" I hissed, growling at him before Emmett bellowed a booming laugh from behind me.<p>

"Did you just squeal or was that an attempt at _growling" _Emmett chuckled, dropping his drained kill.

"Because this is how big boys growl" Jasper drawled before his low deep growl resounded through the little clearing.

"And this is how _grown_ men growl" Emmett whispered, rounding on me and growling too, his stance changing to a low crouch-like form for fighting. They were trying to work together and trap me in a strong hold. Their thoughts kept shifting back to their partners and their unsatisfying kills to lead me away but I knew already…

I beamed innocently at both of them before jumping high up into the tree at the precise moment they decided to pounce on me and fleeting through the heights of the giant pine trees back home.

Oh, the company I had in eternity… unchangeable.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Why do you keep looking at the Quileute History teacher?" Alice asked but it felt more like an accusation.

"I just think it is odd…" I sighed, watching the extraordinarily vertically challenged tall woman slide across the grass before finally righting her stance and skipping into the teachers lounge.

"Odd that she would be here…" I continued wearily. Alice was intensely curious even though she always knew… most of the time… "She is from the Reservation"  
>"Where those wolf people you and Carlisle encountered come from?" she asked, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully although she found the topic mildly interesting.<p>

I nodded tersely and sat on the stone bench outside the cafeteria. Rosalie and Emmett were caught up in Senior English and Jasper was stuck in P.E. It would have to be Alice and me for today…

"I see your Art History class having her as an addition" Alice murmured, her eyes fluttering slightly. I peered into her mind and followed the hazy images of the girl-the young teacher, Leah Clearwater-waving at the rest of our class with a little more confidence than her first day.

Just then, Angela Weber rounded the corner, moving slowly and deliberately over the wet grass.

_Why is he staring at this one NOW!_ Alice groaned internally.

"Hello Angela" I said abruptly.

She stopped in front of the entrance to the cafeteria, her mouth hanging open and eyes wide. Her thoughts were completely blank except for my pale inhumanly handsome face peering up at her questioningly.

"You… spoke" she finally stuttered.

"He does that sometimes" Alice sang, twirling the string of my bag.

_Why are we talking to humans? Is it a game…_

"uh… hello, then" Angela said, smiling shyly. "Hope you are enjoying the…"

_Weather? Seriously… you are going to talk about the weather…_

"It's perfect for us" I finished with the same abrupt hastiness that had caused me to greet her. her eyes widened and her cheeks turned a pale cherry pink. She nodded once, opting not to talk and rushed inside the cafeteria, her thoughts a flurry of questions and awe.

"What is it with you today" Alice hissed. "Wolf tribes and shy girls?"

"The teacher is fascinating, you have to admit" I chuckled and she agreed mentally.

"The girl… her mind is strangely honest and pure…" I said softly. "She makes English bearable"  
>"Okay…" Alice murmured sceptically, leaning back on my arm. "Just don't play your new game in front of everyone else… they would be most cruel"<p>

"Aren't they always" I sighed nudging her slightly. "Always ruining any fun I manage to find"

"Last time you 'managed to find fun'" Alice giggled. "We had to pretend to die in a freak horse stampede on our farm!"

"Vampires living on a farm" I mumbled. "What rubbish…"

"What's rubbish is carrying a horse ten kilometres"

"It was injured" I whined.

"It was inured running away from the crazy vampire trying to ride it!" she snickered. "What were you thinking Edward"  
>"I missed it" I sighed. "Horse riding…"<p>

"You miss too many things" she sighed, playing with my hair. "Live a little…"  
>"I'm dead" I grumbled.<p>

"Then make the most of your death…"


	2. The Art of History

"He was staring at Lauren… Anna from trig is certain!" Brianna whispered excitedly to Jessica. She was lying of course; she simply wanted to let Jessica know she wasn't on the top of the 'potential girls for Edward Cullen' list.

My interest in their conversation was minimal, what I was really listening on was Angela Weber's soft voice. Would she say anything about my greeting her today? Would she mention the fact that two of the Cullen siblings actually spoke to her…

I peered into her mind and al I got was her concern over her little brother having a cold.

I don't know why that bothered me so much; her not being concerned or excited that a Cullen had spoke to her. I know I wasn't turning into an egotistic attention addicted vampire but her response interaction was-like her mind-a pleasant surprise. She was currently drawing flowers that resembled a sort of cubism era inspiration… how fascinating watching this through her mind as she stressed innocently over her brother and contemplating supper…

To think there were still children like this; still holding on to their innocence with out much worry and full of clarity and radiance…

…_and Ben will be coming over to prep for the Trig test. Ben…_

Her voice took on a wistful tone on the name of this Ben fellow; a short boy with a floppy mass of brown hair and bad skin. She liked_ him_…? A strange choice… but maybe it made sense. He was her equal and she thought he was funny and gentlemanly…

"Art has begun!" Mr Freeman announced walking swiftly to the front of the class. He was a tall man with wild greying black hair and a thin etched face. His grey hawk eyes scanned the room and his baritone voice immediately grabbed the attention and respect of the whole class.

"Alright… quite a large group" he murmured, nodding his head in approval of our numbers. _Will make group work easier if I had one paired group and the rest in a larger… start with the outcasts…_

Group work?

Things could be a lot worse. I could be stuck on a plane were all the passengers succumbed to paper cuts. I could be stuck in a room with Emmett after he hadn't seen rose in two days…

_Okay… group project… that's the way to go _Mr Freeman thought, rubbing his hands appreciatively at how clever he was at successfully coming up with a way for us to work without disturbing his 'artistic needs'.

"I'm going to pair you" he said, formulating his plan as he spoke. He had the classes attention with his eccentricity, wild hair and generally fearful face. I groaned internally as his mind wandered to the lone pale boy seated at the front-away from everyone else.

"Mr Cullen" he said his voice resounding through the classroom. "Seeing as how you are the only mortal in this class who has a need for their individuality and artistic isolation…"  
>Good heavens, he was romanticizing my being ostracized from the rest of the classroom…! What a pretty picture he painted in his mind of a beautiful misunderstood boy who didn't quite know how to fit in…<p>

"If you would like to pick a partner for the project please?" he said, the thought overlapping with his audio wording so I missed his mental question and heard the one he said out loud.

"What?" I said, the loudest I had spoken amongst the humans. They were startled by my voice-clear and low. Pleasant to them and it sent more of the humans into a whirl wind of infatuation.

"Uh… Mr Cullen" he murmured, taken aback by my indiscriminatingly handsome face gaping blankly at him with wide eyes. "Chose a partner" 

The class was quiet except for the loud frenzied excited thoughts of the children as I raked at them slowly-although I knew already the only choice I had truly-for a partner. A dozen 'pick me's' and 'good heavens' followed by 'so handsome' and 'I'll give him my virginity' greeted me as I prolonged the moment when I would say her name.

"Uh…" I stammered unnecessarily, looking up at the old drugged up man-he had been smoking weed in his office prior to this class-who mistook my hesitation for shyness. What an odd word, shy…

"Angela Weber" I said softly, before gazing out the window=my insides oddly exhilarated at letting that out and my mind a tormented flurry of why's and how's. why Angela Weber and how where you going to go around this project, Edward.

"Ms Weber" he sang, clapping his hands in an odd manner that reminded me of Aro. "Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded partner…?"

I watched horrified through Mr Freeman's mind as Angela's face blanched and Jessica scowled violently beside her. Angela's mouth hung open, her eyes wide and unbelieving.

"Uh… you might want to do prenuptial agreement on this one, Mr Cullen" the teacher murmured loudly to me and I groaned. He was embarrassing her and her thoughts were a series of disjointed images with stammering dictation. She hated the staring, she hated the daggers Lauren was giving her and she did not look forward to the long duration of this project. It sees it was our whole grade for this term.

"Weber, no choice in the matter" Mr Freeman said seriously, quieting the loud whispering. "Class is an odd number, so Mr Newman you can pick two partners and…"

I drowned out the sounds and concentrated on her mind. She was grateful it was me only because she knew I was intelligent and she wouldn't have to be caught doing most of the work like if it were with Jessica.

I didn't like this and it confused me. Her thoughts about me had been pitiful before but a direct contact with me was not wanted? This bothered me… even though I knew it was her instincts warding of the predator… telling her that I was a threat, that I was not good and that I could cause her serious _discomfort_

"Uh… hi" she whispered, dropping her bag on the floor and sliding into her seat nervously.

_Oh god, oh god, oh god_

"Hello again, Angela" I murmured, holding my body carefully away and hating every fibre of my vampire body that made her nervous.

"Edward…"she squeaked. "The project…huh"

"Yeah… the project" I said, pushing the single paper with the details of our project towards her. I already knew naturally, from the teachers mind-that this was a trip down memory lane to inspire some art piece.

"Hmm" she murmured, flipping through the stapled paper.

_Elizabethan time… inspired art… clothing?_

"We have to…"

"Research on inspired art of the time and present our findings dressed in that very time" I finished, startling her a little.

"Yes" she whispered. "It's interesting… I have a thing for the old"

I raised an eyebrow at her and a smile snick up on my lips.

"The Ancient…"she stammered. "I meant the ancient!"

"The Ancient…?" I asked, chuckling lightly at the thought that she was seated next to 'The Ancient'

"Oh gosh…" she whispered , her heart thudding loudly._ He thinks I have an old guy fetish._

I wonder what she would do if I asked her if she did?


	3. The Elizabethan Gentleman

"I am not sure how to get around it…" I sighed theatrically reaching at the top of my large shelving wall for a blank disk.

"I am not sure why you are making a big deal about it!" grumbled Alice flipping through her Vogue magazine half interested. She was having problems with Jasper and his short temper as a result of his hunger.

"I am not…" I insisted plopping the disk into my laptop and moving the mouse about. "It's just… your option of me ditching her and making her do the assignment alone is so very…"

"Ungentlemanly" Alice finished mimicking my low voice-tilting her head mockingly.

"Well…" I huffed clicking on the 'burn' button and watching as my new favourite song list slowly loaded onto the disk.

"Decide to ditch her and we'll see what happens" Alice sighed, tossing her magazine lazily to the other end of my couch. _Really, I should be watching Jasper and his control but what the heck right… Edward is being a control freak yet again…_

"I don't understand" I frowned. "How is this me being a control freak?"

"Decide to ditch her!" Alice commanded irritably.

I thought about it; leaving her to do the assignment alone and spreading my own time to other activities of more interest… what could be ore interesting than Angela Weber… maybe I could try resurrect my piano playing and reorganise my bookshelf…

"Are you deciding?" Alice asked pouting childishly at me. "Because all I see you doing is researching with her in the library…?"

"Would it be so bad if I did?"  
>"I am not your personal psychic Edward" Alice said petulantly before rising from the couch and pretending to stretch. We did these little human habits over and over again until they became a sort of second nature…<p>

"So your not going to check?" I asked her softly

"No, I am not because I don't get why you are freaked up about it" she groaned "Just make sure you have fed really… your just going to be pouring over books in the library, Edward"  
>"Yes" I said smiling painfully "of course…"<p>

"You can be very strange…"

"Said the psychic pixie vampire"

Xx~xx~xX

The Forks High library was a dismal excuse for a knowledge based room. The books were few, the computers ancient and the very space suggested limited usage. It was light and airy though, the high windows and white walls reflecting light beautifully-and causing me to sit in the shadows. Pictures adorned the walls of past graduates and figures of historical value…

"Well…" Angela said softly-mostly to her self. "I think we got the best era"

She had-it seemed-forgotten her aversion and nervousness of my presence completely-and had been muttering to herself while sifting through the dismal art history collection. I sat still and quiet watching her move around her excitement increasing with each second and vision becoming tunnel as she looked through the pages of each book she picked up before placing it on the little desk I sat on.

"Elizabethan time has the world most gifted writer" she sighed, placing her final book choice on top of a pile of dusty old and worn books in front of me.

She didn't even seem to know I was there, slipping behind the desk opposite me in her seat and flipping the pages slowly and carefully.

_William Shakespeare… writing is definitely and art… the fashion might be odd… Elizabeth Queen…_

"Queen Elizabeth the first was in throne…" she whispered and I couldn't tell-even from her mind-if she was finally acknowledging my presence or talking to herself…

"Queen Elizabeth… remarkable" she sighed in reverence before looking up at me-our eyes locking and I saw from her mind my startled expression.

"She was the Queen of England" she exclaimed, misinterpreting my alarm at looking into her burn umber almost black eyes for confusion to what she was saying.

"My mothers name was Elizabeth" I blurted.

"Uh… that could be an interesting addition to our speech" she said softly, her eyes returning to her the open book.

_Oh my gosh… he was just sitting there for god knows how long while I rambled and shuffled around like and idiot…_

"And William Shakespeare was from this era" she said softly. _Don't tell me your dad's name is William…_

I chuckled lightly and she peered over the book at me in concern.

"Hmm, have you decided who you would like to focus on…?" I covered quickly, picking a book up half interested.

_You…_

I paused my movement of opening the book and looked at her-meeting her eyes again but this time not looking away. She gulped uneasily her thoughts immediately breaking apart into a confused bumbling sound and eyes wide and terrified. I had scared her, I should have….

_Good grief, he is so good looking…_

She was terrified because I was good looking…?

"Uh, I was thinking we could possibly…" she stammered, flipping the pages of the book furiously fast.

"Remember it has to have art relevance" I murmured pushing my body away from the little table and praying the movement-even if it only meant I gave her a few inches extra from her perimeter-would relax her.

"Yes of course" she whispered.

_Art… art… it's a word…_

"Are you okay Angela?" I asked her

"Well, yes…" she said, smiling a little but making sure not to look at my face.

_Besides my hormones going into overdrive over you… I am okay! Gosh this is worse than with Ben…_

Of course. How had I missed it-our presence was intoxicating to humans and the added predatory nature usually kept them at bay but not in this little library, on this little dressed and with this stupid assignment…

"We could do something on William Shakespeare" I said, hating and hoping simultaneously that if I took the reigns on this little detail I could release her from my presence. "And add a little something interesting to it about Queen Elizabeth... we can factor it out later on… possibly brainstorm and combine our findings?"

"Yes" she agreed, nodding her head vigorously. "That's… yeah"  
><em>oh my word, he thinks I am a dimwit… I am a dimwit…<em>

"Okay then…. Shall we go?" I asked, pushing out of my chair.

"Go?" she whispered in confusion

"Home… it's after school…?" I said slowly, arranging all the books she had picked from the shelves carefully by alphabet and holding them in my hands.

"Oh, let me return those" she said quickly rushing over to me to take the books "It's really my responsibility, it took them out"  
>I moved back instantly, a good feet away from her and panicked at her close proximity. Her heat ballooned around me, caramel and vanilla evenly diluted and comforting scent filled my nostrils and my throat <em>burned. <em>It was bearable, a soft prickling but something else had me anxious to be at arms length from her… she looked up at me through her rather thick lenses in confusion her hands still extended for the books.

Didn't she feel that I was dangerous… how could she be so brave to come so close… and look that innocent…

"Let me" I chuckled easily, pulling the con artist in me to work away at her suspicions and nerves. "Seeing as how we will be studying the Elizabethan era… I better get in touch with the chivalry old…"

"Oh, okay then" she said smiling shyly and pushing her glassed up her small nose. I realized it was a quirk she did when she was nervous, thinking very hard…

She began packing her bag and I took her momentary distraction to speedily return the books and hesitated a moment when I realised she was waiting for me. Waiting to walk out of the library with me…

"That is not necessary" I told her softly, wondering what Jasper would think if he knew I had unintentionally made a lady wait…

"_She was just a human" _I heard him say in my mind. She was just a human…

"Your brothers and sisters are gone" she stated and I saw the image of Emmett driving his jeep out from her mind. She had watched them carefully, wondering if I would stand her up and go home rather than be left with a nerd on Friday afternoon at school…

"Yes they didn't feel like lingering" I laughed remembering Rosalie's scowl at my taking this human thing a bit too seriously'.

"So how are you getting home?" she asked, peering up at me from her short height.

I was going to run through the forest, easily flying over the grass and I would have been home in less than five minutes…

"I was going to call Carlisle" I said instead, smiling at her and reaching into my pocket for a phone that wasn't there.

"Car..?" she asked, pushing her glasses up again.

"My father" I explained.

"Oh, Dr Cullen" she whispered and I saw the image of his name plate on his doctor's office door. _Dr C Cullen._ She had wondered what his first name was… the joys of Forks being so small meant everyone had had a moderate to extreme level of curiosity when it came to the new arrivals.

"Yep" I said.

"Why don't I take you home?" she asked smiling a little and tugging at the strap of her purple bag. "We can talk about when you want to do the return report on our choices and everything… I mean, it is due on Monday morning and well…"

_We have to do it on the weekend but you probably have some party thing to go to, a date maybe and I may just have to do it on my own and…_

"Yes" I said slowly. "It's due Monday… uh, you can drop me off at Carlisle's office rather? And I'll get your number and we'll arrange for a meeting for it over the weekend?"

"Exactly what I was thinking!" she squealed, skipping forward towards her light blue old car. "It's good that you and I are on the same wavelength…"

I am on _your _wave length Angela…

_Oh, I'll wait to find out whether he wants to do the Elizabethan findings on Sunday or Saturday and I'll tell Ben we can study for trig on the available day… Ben…_

"Or maybe we can do it over the _entire _weekend" I said abruptly, pulling the seatbelt over my body.

"Uh… okay… we'll talk" she said smiling her small smile and starting the car. "Over dinner"

"What?" I asked peering into her mind but she was thinking about cutting carrots and making desert.

"Over dinner…?" she asked "The time I will call you... dinner time?"


	4. The Memory Game

"So do you want to be a doctor like your dad?" Angela asked parking her car and letting it idle.

"I am not sure" I chuckled, thinking how I had been a doctor, a teacher and so many other things in the expanse of my years-and now just _being _was a tiresome job enough. "Maybe once, sometimes I want to…"

I stopped talking abruptly, realising once again how easily words seemed to leave my mouth before the thoughts themselves had finished forming in my mind-always it seemed with Angela. I almost forgot she was a human and I was a vampire-we weren't new acquaintances and I didn't have the luxury of murmuring my hopes, dreams and fails to her. I didn't have the right to allow her a glimpse into my life…

"Uhm, okay then…" she said reaching into her bag for her phone. _He can be so strange…_

"You can put your number in my phone and I'll buzz you so you get my number" she said, holding her little black Motorola out for me.

I took the phone out of her hand carefully-careful not to touch her, and flipped it open before pressing in my number. I never really used my cell phone and it was currently on top of the stereo in the living room, gathering dust I suspect…

"Okay then…" she breathed uneasily _he thinks I am going to stalk him on his phone…_

"My phone is at home so…" I said, opening the car door. "Bye Angela, I will see you soon I suppose?"  
>"Of course" she smiled. <em>Soon…? I suppose? Phone is at home…? He thinks I am going got stalk him…<em>

Xx~xxx~xX

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise" Carlisle said softly, closing the door of his office.

_Caught your scent in the corridor…_

"Yes, well…" I sighed, wheeling his chair around so I was facing him. "A little complication that required I go to my 'Dad's' work arose"  
>"Why not go home with your brothers and sisters" he asked, placing the files in top of his modest mahogany desk..<p>

"I stayed after school to do a project…" I said trying to be nonchalant.

"Okay…" he chuckled "Keeping your self busy…"

"Yes, busy being human" I sighed again, flipping through one of his patients files.

"Hey, hey!" he said, reaching for the file but I of course saw his intention to grab it and spun the chair around. "Patient-doctor confidentiality, Edward!"

"You really are going to pull that one on the telepathic vampire?" I laughed.

"There is no confidentially with you" he said shaking his head.

"I do try, Dad" I whispered, scanning the tabled page with his slanted wispy handwriting. "Judith Newton… arthritis and…hmm. I know her grandson; he is in my year…"  
>"She is a lovely woman" Carlisle murmured, sitting opposite me in the visitor's chair, his eyes raking over my face.<p>

_You seem different… why the long face and knit eyebrows…?_

"I think I have aged slightly, doctor" I chuckled, peering up at him and smiling "You have any prescription for that?"

"Oh Edward" he sighed, rising from his seat and reaching for his car keys "You should try and enjoy… being"

"I _am _trying Carlisle" I mumbled following him out of his office.

"Dr Cullen" murmured a middle aged nurse as walked by her._ Oh gosh, his boy is even more handsome…_

"Does it ever bother you how easily humans let their hormones lead them" I whispered low and inaudible to anyone but a vampire "Ignoring their instincts for infatuation"  
>"What do you mean?" he asked, nodding goodbye to the janitor moping the floor with strong disinfectant.<p>

"Oh Carlisle" I groaned rolling my eyes at his ignorance. "You have to notice the way the nurse's moon over you…"

"They respect my knowledge and experience" he said frowning slightly.

"You are twenty nine" I laughed. "What experience could you have in their eyes?"

"Well, that's just a visage… I am over three hundred…"

"Carlisle" I huffed, cutting him swiftly. "You are- to the humans here-a twenty nine year old talented doctor who looks like a movie star. Now, are you going to believe your telepathic son or huddle for safety in your blanket of ignorance and oblivion?"

"Just get in the car young man" he laughed, opening the driver's door of his Mercedes.

"The day you stop over thinking everything" he said shaking his head at his thoughts-memories of my continuous drive to make simple things hard apparently "Is the day I turn thirty"

Xx~xx~xX

"Your phone is in your drawer, the one with your lamp on top" Alice murmured indifferently, her hands raking through Jasper's hair.

"I left it on top of the stereo" I said, eyeing her carefully.

"You must have moved it then" she said smiling mischievously. _It had free credit… he never even uses it…_

"Alice, if you would respect my property" I sighed, rolling my eyes. "And really… moved it? Playing the memory card? I am a vampire… I don't forget..."

"Like a freaking elephant…" she muttered and Jasper chuckled. "Holds a grudge like one too…"

"Whatever" I finished, zooming up to my room.

The battery was dead, naturally from lack of use or care. It would take fifteen minutes to charge enough to switch it on… how odd, the little blinking light of the charging signal began to hold my attention and rattle my nerves.

I already knew what I would find when I turned it on-her missed call that will subsequently give me a piece of her… a link to her life if I wished to… extend my reach…

"Dude, you want to play chess?" Emmett asked, peering through my door. _Okay… staring at a phone…?_

"I'm busy" I said automatically.

"Busy staring at a phone?" he huffed, entering my room and looking around irritably. "Come on Edward"

"No"

"Edward!" he whined, drawing my name out and frowning childishly. "Please man, I am so bored… Rose is with Esme planning her wedding…"  
>"Don't you mean 'our wedding'?" I asked, smiling slightly.<p>

"Yeah, whatever" he grumbled, sitting on my couch. "It would be only the fourteenth time..!"

"Hmm" I murmured, still watching the phone, waiting for the red light to turn green

"So about chess…"  
>"No Emmett!" I sighed, leaning back on my position on the floor by the charger. "I always win…"<p>

"Not this time, I have a new strategy…"

"That I now know of thanks to my magic mind reading powers" I said sardonically tapping the side of my head and wagging my eyebrows. "Go play with Jasper…"  
>"He is enjoying the company of his wife" he grumbled sulking.<p>

"Go play with Carlisle then!"

"He always lets me win…"

"And I always beat you in five minutes…!" I huffed but just then the little red blinking light turned green "Yes!"  
>"What…?" Emmett asked, rising from the couch and coming over to kneel by me. <em>It's a phone dude…<em>

"You have to leave now… I have a phone call to make"

"Whether I leave or not… I am going to hear this phone conversation" he said grinning. _The only way I am moving from this spot is if you 'move' me and we both know it's not worth wrecking the door, breaking your couch and possibly losing a limb…_

"Fine" I hissed. It was just a call to arrange a meeting for a high school project. I would say hello, and she would say hello and...

_What the hell… is he calling Obama?_

"I am trying to remember the… number" I mumbled, clicking on the missed call symbol and the digits appearing across my screen like the Holy Grail…

"You are trying to remember?" he repeated mockingly. "What… you going through vampire Alzheimer's?"

No, just dealing with twisted incomprehensible emotions over a stupid number and an equally irrelevant assignment.

"No, just wondering why you find it necessary to irritate my existence when you are bored…" I countered still staring at the screen. It felt like watching an approaching train-speeding down a railway-straight at my bound form on the tracks.

"Who is it" Emmett asked, peering at the screen and repeating the numbers in his mind. I had scanned and memorised them already-forever engrained in my mind.

"It's no one" I whispered.

"Its Obama isn't it…" he asked, excited. "Oh God, call him… man, he is so cool on TV with the waving hand and big smile…"

"Does Carlisle know he made a retarded vampire" I murmured but Emmett ignored me. "Or did we need to reboot you or something"

"Oh, I know… its Oprah Winfrey!" he chuckled. "She has you down for booty call right… finally getting laid bro…!"

He was of course, jesting with me and consequently fuelling my unease with his… tactless ways.

"It's my art assignment partner" I said softly and this actually made his mind go blank.

"A human?" he whispered. "You are calling a _human_"  
>"For my art assignment" I repeated, already mapping out my excuse as he formulated his accusations.<p>

"We do not…"

"I can't get out of it Em…" I said, hoping my shrugging conveyed how absolutely unjust I felt about my predicament. "She will lose her grade if I skip this"  
><em>well… okay then… so you just decided to torture me with curiosity over a simple human child?<em>

"No, she isn't a simple…"I began but then realised if I let the words out I would be digging my own grave. "She is clever… top student… after us of course... and it really won't be fair of me to ruin her chances of maintaining a…"  
><em>blah and more blah, blah, blah… I get it… your doing the self pain thing again… always angsty…always broody… staring at a phone over an assignment…<em>

"Whatever" I grumbled.

"So you going to phone…her?" he asked. "The human is a she…"  
>"Oh for goodness sakes, they aren't animals in a pet store, Emmett!"<p>

"I am not even going to pretend to know what you mean…" he sighed, returning to the couch and watching me. "Call your little lamb chop…"

I clicked the call button and moved to the window watching Emmett as he watched me with curiosity and slight concern.

"Is it dinner time?" I asked him and he frowned in response.

_Unless Esme has a live Elk in the kitchen… I don't know…_

The phone rang once, twice and before I knew it I had been listening to the little melodic ring ring for two minutes before I got her voice mail.

"_Hello, Angela here..uh, I think… leave a message after… Tyler put that down now!_" A long droning beep followed and I sighed, releasing an unnecessary hard breath that had somehow got stuck in my lungs while I waited for her…

"This is just sad" Emmett groaned, getting up from my couch. I really should remove that couch, it somehow tempted people to spend more than the necessary amount of time in my room… like some sort of public lounging area…

He closed my door with a sigh, mumbling about boredom and weirdness and his thoughts travelling to the bear season.

Ring ring.

I picked the phone up and there was her number, flashing across the screen and begging for me to answer her call.

"Angela?" I breathed.

A pause but I could hear her soft breathing. How I wished I could hear thoughts across the telephone.

"Edward?" she asked after another torturous moment. "I… is it really… Edward?"  
>"It's Edward, Angela" I said, walking over to the large window facing the forest. "Its dinner time?"<p>

"You eat dinner at nine pm?" she asked

"I eat desert at nine pm" I chuckled and I heard Emmett-from downstairs laughing at how untrue that was. _Only us married couples eat desert at nine pm…_

Privacy was a luxury I was denied in this house-and yet they complained of my telepathy…

"Uh… yes… uh" she stammered and I imagined her pushing her glasses up her nose and biting her lip insistently. "The assignment"

"Yes, that would be why I am calling" I murmured and a little voice asked me if I had clicked the call button with the intention of talking about a stupid assignment….

"Obviously" she murmured and I could tell she was reprimanding herself.

"The date you would like to meet…?"

"Meet?" Emmett and Jasper yelled from downstairs and I rolled my eyes.

"Tomorrow will be okay" she murmured. "At around noon, I just have to drop my brother at a birthday… uh anyway, so were do you want to meet?"

"Your house" I said. Obviously.

"Oh, okay… I'll let my dad know…" she said and I could hear the twirling of plastic-the phone cord followed by a soft tapping-her foot against a couch possibly.

"Goodnight then, Angela" I whispered, listening as her breathing picked up.

"Err… Edward" she stammered my name about three times before managing a "Sleep well, uh and tomorrow I'll… goodnight"

The line went dead after she clicked it quickly. Running away from the inhuman voice on the other end of the line presumably…

**AUTHORS NOTE: I so love writing through Edwards mind. I also love feed back-a little nod that this is going in the right direction, criticism, suggestions... your thoughts on things. It really helps to fuel the writing and updates **


	5. When Orange Juice Intoxicates

Once, when I was young-well, a young newborn-I had badgered Carlisle into buying me a new sports car that just came out. I had been attending night classes at a local college in the town we were in at the time, my first taste of freedom without his need to accompany me and it had resurfaced a lost trait in my personality from my humanity.

I had been an only child and I had been used to having new things and people doting on me.

I wasn't spoilt just… cherished and maybe a little over indulged. Carlisle-naturally; with his pre-Esme pro-Masochistic low self esteem and total obsession with all things to do with the Ten Commandments, Revelations and Crosses had said No.

Well, No in Carlisle's language meant a lengthy speech on Soul's and 'Walking in the Light' all covered by the visage that we were supposed to be 'inconspicuous beautiful brothers just minding our own business'.

Following that speech was another speech on 'Needs' and 'Wants'. I had wished entirely that I could fall asleep then…

I remedied his unjust _stinginess _by giving him the silent treatment and playing on his compassion by becoming entirely depressed and unbearable.

The car was lovely and even though I could only enjoy it in the nighttimes… it glimmered and shined with foreign expertise.

It had been so for a long time; my getting what I wanted, enjoying it for a limited time before-like the lovely sports car-I crashed it into a tree after it failed to fill the hollowness in my chest were my soul had lain with my beating heart.

"Oh, take a pen and notebook Edward" Alice murmured, interrupting my internal monologue "A bit odd for you to arrive to this study thing with only your amazing entirety-recollecing vampire mind and telepathy as stationery, don't you think?"  
>"Dually noted, little Pixie" I sighed, saluting her and closing the door.<p>

This felt a bit like getting that sports car… I was excited at having something of my own that I found highly interesting. I was excited at having Angela alone and being able to talk to her without her worry of Lauren or Jessica…

Having Angela alone…?

I groaned, hating how right Jasper and Rosalie's little fuming had been about that one thing… I couldn't afford to make mistakes. It was eleven in the morning and now I would have to go find an Elk in a season when they tended to move further south of our territory, return to the house and get the car to maintain appearances…

Xx~xx~xX

"I apologize" I murmured, closing the door and smiling at Angela "For my inability to keep with the time, I got sidetracked by an almost forgotten chore…"  
>"Late?" she asked, failing to make eye contact with me although I was sure my eyes were not terrifying in their now rich honey quality.<p>

_What… late? It's five past twelve… I had pegged him to arrive at one o'clock with extra time on getting lost and he… late?_

"Shall we then?" I asked, gesturing behind her at the door of her modest home. I felt completely embarrassed and unnerved by that little development…

"Oh yes" she smiled shyly. "My dad is away so… uh, and the boys…"

_He isn't Ben, so you'll be in the house alone with him… it's just Edward Cullen… Beautiful polite Edward Cullen…._

I quickly wiped the smile of my face when she turned and frowned at my little smug look at_ nothing_.

"A modest home you have" I said, looking around the cosy space.

"Yes, my mother…" she said softly, her eyes glazing over a little. "Well, she decorated it"  
><em>with me… I remember choosing the kitchen curtains… months before her funeral…<em>

"Oh" I murmured, closing my eyes tightly at the total unnerving feeling welling inside me that I had made her feel pain.

"You didn't bring any research books…?" she asked, smiling a little. Her smile was warm and small and as I looked at her in the soft light of the little kitchen-her lips softness was apparent. Lovely full pouty…

_Oh, my…_ her mind was a tornado, filled with swirling images of my face-honey eyes darkening as they stared at her indecently.

"I apologise" I murmured, my breath lodged in my throat and my own thoughts struggling to reorganise themselves and leave the image of her biting her lip alone.

"You apologize too much" she laughed, coughing a little to clear her throat. _oh my… how are we going… how am I going to concentrate if he just stares like that… like… oh my_

"We can begin with deciding what medium we are going to use to show our concepts" I said softly, sitting on the round kitchen table carefully-the hollow place were my heart used to be constricting. I had to allow her time to arrange her thoughts after my predatory stare… I didn't even know what that was about honestly. They were just lips… simple human lips… simple _full _cherry-peach human lips with a rather large expanse allowing for soft liable skin with thousands of sensitive nerves…

_He is now boring a hole in the kitchen table… maybe I should offer him…_

"Do you want some juice?" she asked, but I kept my eyes firmly on the table.

"No thank you" I said softly. "I had a very full breakfast"

"It's juice not a meal" she laughed.

Yet another blunder… thirst meant hunger to me so when she offered juice…

She opened the refrigerator and took out a clear jug of orange juice presumably and placed it on the table. She turned around-the moment she did this i resumed my staring safely-and walked over to a cupboard, reaching up for the top cupboard on her tiptoes, her shirt lifting up slowly and exposing palest caramel skin between her shirt and jeans… jeans that were…

I snapped my head back to the safe orange juice, my breathing hitching unnecessarily and fingers curling defensively to fists. This was not happening… I had fed, I shouldn't be feeling like… a vampire… or a…

_An underhanded man_ my conscious chuckled, oddly sounding a lot like Emmett's voice.

Human females could hold our attention at times but in most instances it had everything to do with blood. _This _had to do with blood even though I had fed…

"I really am not thirsty Angela" I murmured, my vice scratching but her delicate human ears wouldn't catch that. I saw from her mind the odd worried expression I wore-it surprised me how well she read my emotions, when even vampires got them wrong-and thought I was unhappy with the _environment _she had provided.

"Just one glass" she insisted in a small withdrawn voice, her eyes turning sad and tugging at my dead heart.

"Okay" I smiled and my stomach hissed at my idiot mind on the hard work it would have, churning up burning dusty liquid because I wanted to make a human girl happy.

"I made it myself" she murmured, placing the glass carefully on the table. "Orange juice… is it your favourite?"

She wanted to know my favourite juice. An odd euphoria filled me at her wanting to know something personal about me… but it was squashed by a little answer that would have been _No, actually Mountain Lion Juice is my favourite…_

"Mango juice" I said quickly, hearing her own thoughts on the matter of _her _favourite juice.

"Me too!" she exclaimed and the euphoria was back in full swing. She pushed the glass towards me and busied herself with returning the jug.

I placed a finger gingerly on the smooth clear glass with little red prints of balloons imposed on its surface. It felt slightly warm-must be ice cold to her then. I wrapped my fingers around it-ignoring the odd contrast of my whitish cream ashen fingers against the sharp orange colour and brought the glass to my lips, fake-sipping the juice and peering up to her.

She stood behind her seat expectantly-watching me-and I was forced to actually part my lips and let the warm icky stuff roll over my tongue in a sharp citrusy mud flavour and burn its way down my throat.

"Lovely" I smiled my eyes stinging a little. If I had tears, they would be rolling down my cheeks in gallons…

She smiled-a lovely huge smile-in pleasure and sat down.

_Okay, he knows he can ask for anything… well plaid Angela, good host… boys are all the same… give them something to eat and they are right at home…_

"So about the medium?" she asked. _Maybe a large board… section all our information with monochromatic boarders and an accent colours… oh no, we have to find a board and put aside to for that…_

I watched mesmerised, concerned and confused as she scribbled over her note book furiously, her lower lip being assaulted by her teeth, gnawing away… surely the supple flesh under the thin velvet skin would bruise, possibly break under such abuse… couldn't she do it softly… more tenderly…

"I think we she use board" she said raising her head up and missing my hypnotized staring by seconds.

"Hmm" I murmured, lifting the orange juice and taking her a sip when she questioned the still full glass in her thoughts. The contrast between the unnatural heat crawling over my skin and the burning in my stomach was nauseating and addictive…

"A white board?" she asked.

"I think black would make a better back ground colour" I said, smiling a little at her through my stomach ache.

"Ooh yes!" she said, her smile blinding me. "That's… yes that will work"

She began scribbling hard again… _colour and size…._ _A2 board…. Black…_

"Remember we have to make the boards reflect the time" I murmured and she nodded her head twice-thinking how nice it was to have someone at equal footing on a work and then finishing of her praises for me by comparing me to _Ben._

"So… we may have to go into town to buy the Board, silver paper and other scrap stuff…" I said quickly "We can do that tomorrow?"

I guess she'll have to see Ben at school….

_Oh… maybe if we go into town now, I can keep Sunday free if we…_

"And we can dedicate today to compiling our research leisurely…" I murmured, leaning back in the chair and holding her gaze. "We wont have to rush anything… this juice is lovely, Angela"  
><em>….the way he says my name…<em>

"You can decide on your character… in depth…" I said softly, drowning in her darkened eyes and feeling an odd power at her inability to look away-unintentionally causing me to become equally hypnotized by our connection.

"…what character?" she whispered, her breath escaping in a intoxicating swirl around me-caramel like her skin…

"For the… project?"

"Oh!" she blushed breaking our gaze, knocking her juice glass over and rushing to save her note pad. "Oh… fiddlesticks!"

"Fiddlesticks?" I asked, smiling. It was something Carlisle had uttered on numerous occasions… and even when he did say it or think it, he would cover it with an apology for his 'foul' language…

"Oh… uhm is your writing pad safe…?" she asked reaching behind her for a dishcloth.

"Yes…"

"Okay then" she said blushing furiously "Do you want… uh, the books are up in my…"  
>"Yes" I answered her thoughts rising swiftly-glad to leave the juice behind and rid my system of the odd high running through it. "Let's go up to your room…"<p>

"Yes" she whispered uneasily. _My room… _

**AUTHORS NOTE: okay, things are going to start moving at a faster pace.**

**REMEMBER TO REVIEW thoughts, love and such. **


	6. All the Silly Things

We are supposed to be researching… No, we are researching but in between scribbling information down and reading through books there was a lot of_ looking_. There was a lot of Angela peering at me from her position on the bed, watching my movements and analysing them in an object but still sympathetic manner.

At first her insistent watching had unnerved me, I felt like her eyes could see through my shirt, through the vest underneath and straight into me… I felt like she could see past my chest cavity and into the dead void of my heart. I felt like she _knew _even though all that her chaste thoughts noted was I could be very still, that I didn't mind the awkward little room that was her bedroom, and that my hair had more than three different shades to it that in its mass and glory formed the bronzed hue…

All very innocent on her part but for some unknown reason, my mind turned the information into a weapon against my own body. Her simple thought that her room was chilly and I only had on my shirt made me shiver-as though her words had brought to life this 'chill' and when she had asked me if I would like a sweater-she said she had an over sized one she normally slept in-I jumped to the opportunity of being wrapped up in something that had been on her skin.

Possibly bare skin if she slept in it…

The sweater was black and faded and slightly worn but the value it had was the strange and now entirely familiar intoxicating scent of her caramel-vanilla and slightly spiced scent. I took it carefully in my hands, returning her eager smile and automatically brought it to my nose with little thought on the weird inhuman action.

"Uh… it is clean, Edward?" she murmured and I paused my sniffing. "I know it's a bit old…"  
>"No, thank you" I said quickly as her thoughts turned a little concerned for what she deemed slightly snobbish behaviour. "I just… your perfume is very… lovely" <p>

I could here the cheers outside the window, the applause of the world as I managed to save my image in her eyes. She blushed furiously, tucking her already perfectly tied hair behind her ear and pressing her lips together relentlessly and as normal- she pressed her lips together ridiculously hard so the blood momentarily spread under the soft pliable velvet skin before flushing back.

"I uh… there really shouldn't be perfume…" she stammered. _I don't wear any to bed so…_

"Maybe the fabric softener?" I volunteered an answer for her unease and removed the possibility of me explaining what I couldn't seem to stop inhaling was actually her scent.

"Uh, maybe…" she said impossibly softly, peering at me from under thick eyelashes. _He is so… I should tell Jessica if she does manage to give him that love letter of hers, he would make a perfect boyfriend for her…_

I grimaced and quickly put the sweater over my head, the sweet and spicy aroma of her scent momentarily burning my throat but after that my nose was in bliss.

She had written almost four pages of information, the rest she saved on her flash stick and had a little folder with pictures for reference.

_I wonder if he has done much…_ she peered down, over my shoulder from where I sat on the floor; leaning back on her bed and I laughed internally when she saw pages upon pages of my swirling writing.

"I think we have enough" I chuckled. "Hard copy and otherwise… we may not need to look back at this"

"Yeah, you write really fast and neat" she laughed. "Unlike my atrocious handwriting…!"  
>"Your handwriting is beautiful" I said without thought, closing the pad and reaching for my other two pens. I felt her stiffen behind me; her thoughts paused and invaded by a series of overlapping audio replays of my voice-so soft and lovely to her ears-saying the words I had thought out loud.<p>

"Thank you…" she whispered shyly. "But flattery won't get you out of organising the information…!"

"It would be my pleasure" I laughed, glad the awkwardness was momentarily. It would take me ten minutes… or less… depending if I stopped to analyse her writing further and her choice of multi-coloured writing instruments to high light information…

"Sure it would" she giggled, leaning back on her bed so she was resting on her head board. I lifted myself of the ground and sat carefully by her feet. "If you don't mind reading a page of rainbow coloured hieroglyphics…"  
>"We can hardly describe your writing as hieroglyphics, Angela" I said in fake sternness and she laughed a little more.<p>

An odd laugh-it carried her shyness in its pitch and her refusal to fully open her mouth to release the sweet sound. She stopped, looking up at me and smiled. I gulped hard, fighting with my mind over the prickling happening in my chest, over my skin…

"My sweater is slightly small on you" she chuckled. "You are not as skinny as you look…"

"You think I am skinny?"  
>"No, I mean…" she grimaced worrying if she had unintentionally offended me. I didn't stop her panicking as I should have, instead I watched with a sick fascination as the lip gnawing commenced and her index finger pushed her glasses up her nose.<p>

"I mean you look really lean…" she breathed. "Like a swimmer…"

"I do like to swim"

"Then why aren't you in the swimming team?" she teased.

"Hmm…" I pretended to wonder, enjoying her attention.

"I don't blame you" she said. "Swimming team in cold Forks… not the brightest…sport…"

_Oh, his eyes… lovely eyelashes…_

She was very brave to sit entirely comfortable with a vampire…. whether she knew I was one or not

"You don't do any sport though" I said.

"Not very good at it that is why…" she laughed. "You'll see in P.E"

"I will… its soccer on Monday for girls" I grinned.

"How could you know that, did the coach tell you…?" she asked, her mind whispering how I may only be teasing but she still felt nervous at the idea that I would _watch her _intentionally while she wiped out on the floor…

"Something like that" I murmured, smiling at her.

That's when she got entirely comfortable with my own calculated ease. She leaned back on her bed-on her pillow-her legs pushing out past my back and hands folded behind her head. Her little shirt-although tucked safely under her pale pink jumper now… rode up over her stomach, past her navel and revealed smooth pale almost creamy white skin. I couldn't look away, even as I felt the venom pool in my mouth, my throat constricting and burning and my hands clawing at my sides.

She missed my predator transformation-her eyes were closed.

"You are pretty cool, Edward" she murmured.

"Why is that?" I asked hoarsely only her mind dissected the sound as husky and rich. I ignored her mental explanation and opted for analysing her stomach… there was no blood spilling over it… I should not feel this way…. I should not feel thirst and… something…

She leaned up, taking her glasses off her face and placing them on her nightstand. The spell was broken as her shirt righted itself with the movement. She nudged closer to me and smiled but I would not meet her eyes, feeling like I had invaded her by finding a sick pleasure in her exposed stomach… sweet pure Angela… sweet and entirely human Angela had somehow called out to the monster that lived in me. In that moment I knew… I couldn't be alone with her. She was a risk to my fragile humanity because she pulled the beast out _unwillingly _but with as much strength as an open wound flowing with blood and it seemed to not matter if I had gorged on blood or not… The Beast came out with a growl fuelled by insatiable hunger because of her…

"I mean everyone had you pegged differently because you like to keep to yourself" she whispered. "But I knew… I knew that you just needed to feel comfortable"  
>hHw odd she should say this when I felt like I was suffocating in her scent, drowning in the colour of her hair and falling in her eyes all to the sound of the roaring beast baying for her blood and more…<p>

"I have to go" I said gruffly rising abruptly and startling her.

"Oh, uh…" she watched as I quickly picked up her notes and my own. "So I will see you tomorrow?"

I walked quickly down the stairs, her small feet following in confusion and mind recapping our conversations for any sign that she may have insulted me somehow…

I opened my car door hastily pausing courteously when she stood at the edge of the drive way.

"You'll come tomorrow at the same time?" she asked again, harassing the sleeve of her jumper nervously.

"I'll have to call you on that" I said, almost snapping at her for prolonging my turmoil of watching her… remembering her stomach, her silly smooth stomach with the prominent indentations of hips…

"Bye Angela"

Xx~xx~xX

"What are you doing out here all alone?"

Tanya. I had obviously heard her thoughts minutes ago, a monologue of conflict on whether or not she should venture out to me. She knew I wanted to be alone and I could see how she had tried to stay away… but her every sense and thought was attuned to me.

It bothered me how the lust had toned down in Tanya's thoughts to be twisted into a sort of adoring wanting whisper. She was no were near in love with me but the new form of attention… was curious…

Infatuation mixing with lust and wonder.

"You'll catch a cold" she giggled, springing in the air and landing feet by me-the snow rises around her in a glimmering diamond dust swirl. She giggled a little more, pleased that I had watched her theatrical show of playful grace and swung her hips over to me.

"I really would have loved the peace…" I sighed as she sat down too close to me.

"A kiss and I will be on my way" she sang half joking. _Even on the cheek…?_

"Maybe on the cheek" I murmured, not moving an inch even as she turned her face and exposed her pale cherry blossom cheek.

_You wouldn't even give me a peck… you gave my sister a peck…!_

"Your sister doesn't mentally and optically undress me when I am trying to say hello" I mumbled.

"Maybe if you just stripped right now I could rid myself of all these questions on your anatomy" she countered doing her odd and admittedly adorable grinning whilst in the midst of pouting.

"I am no different from any other man" I sighed.

"Carlisle been preaching to you how all men are made equal?" she asked laughing. _Trust me… all men are made equal… you are exponentially raised in that equation though… hmm, your hair… would he let me touch it…_

I manoeuvred my head away from her hungry fingers and she dropped her hand in her lap dejectedly.

"I have a lot on my mind, Tanya" I snapped, the image of Angela's hurt face flung in front of my vision violently by my mind.

"Other people's thoughts or your own?" she asked, smiling.

"The worst kind… my own" I grumbled, thinking back to the silly human girl who smelt wonderfully pleasant, entirely sensual and yet innocent above my damned soulless being...

"Sometimes it's okay not to think" she whispered, her thoughts suddenly guarded but barely. Only my immediate family knew how to truly guard their thoughts and event then it was for only a limited time. Alice held the world record for that though, naturally…

_Let me help you to not think, Edward…_

"No thanks"

"Rosalie tells me you have never been with a woman?" she asked.

"I am mildly surprised Rosalie managed to talk about someone whose name was not Rosalie…"

"She says neither woman nor man has defiled you" she laughed, her tinkling bell like voice riding through the swirling night air effortlessly.

"Is there some valid point to this…?"  
>"Why a virgin…" she asked "You are beautiful…?"<p>

"You make it seem like a health condition" I hissed. "We were all virgins at a point…"

"And the point is meant to pass…"Tanya sighed and I grimaced when I caught the image of my trousers-my crotch freely reflected in her mind as she impolitely stared at me-the way I had impolitely stared at sweet Angela. How could I return to my family, how could I walk around when I had turned so _vile…?_

"I have no need for it…" I hissed and my mind laughed-a cackling laugh-that the need for it was yet to approach…

"You re above it?" she laughed. "Of course you are… you are above _everything_"  
>"It is not what I meant…" I groaned, falling back into the snow-twisting my features when after closing my eyes, I sill could not banish her hurt eyes-left bare without her glasses as I drove out. Her eyes with the dark outer rim and honeyed but still dark shade of brown. An Umber colour almost... "You twist a thing… that's what you are good at…" I sighed more to myself than to Tanya<p>

"Have you ever touched yourself?" she asked seriously. I remained quiet, closing my eyes and the memory of the last time I defiled my own body in that manner-a few decades ago-fleeted through my mind. I liked control and the silly need to …do that had been a test to my very hold on my own sanity and latent human hormones. I had… with much determination, tamed that for a good forty years. Control… it was what kept my family and I separated form the rest of the vampire world-even Tanya and the rest of the Denali clan… it all fell down to control. Now, when something causes you to blurt potentially harmful clues to your genealogy, blurt your thoughts out when you were so precise in your wording and make your eyes damned addicts of naive flesh…

"No…" I huffed.

"Liar" she laughed.

"What I meant was not recently "I finished.

"Can I touch you, Edward" she asked, smiling a little hopeful smile.

"No" I grumbled, closing my eyes once more and being attacked by the image of _her_ purple panties peeping out from behind her denim jeans… lying so still and perfect, a sleek lean body on the little bed…

"A massage… on your back" she said softly and my body thrummed in involuntary response. "Please…?" _just a little touch… it will be like a birthday gift… _

Her birthday was tomorrow and I had no present…

"Fine but only for a minute" I muttered, closing my eyes, sitting up right and completely still. This was wrong but I was curious… my mind was at war with itself, with my Judas of a body, playing me into Tanya's hands by refusing to desist with the images of Angela…

"With your shirt off…" she said softly, voice a low husky whisper over the wind blowing in the trees.

She kneeled behind me, her hands reaching to my front-for the buttons of my shirt and I stiffened. This made her stop her movements and she contemplated retreating and settling for the silk shirt being the barrier between her skin and my own but then… she thought… she had o have this little bit more. She had to feel me under her hands.

"No" I said but my voice was lost of conviction as she undid one button. And then two… suddenly it was three and my chest was feeling the warm breeze of the Alaskan frozen wind…

"No, Tanya…!" I grabbed her hand roughly and shoved it away. "Maybe this is a bad…"  
>"Okay fine" she begged, her hands resting on my shoulders. "I'll do you through the clothes…"<p>

"You mean the massage" I snapped, answering her haywire fantasies spinning at her implication.

She sighed, her hands weighing down on my shoulders heavily and begun kneading the muscle there. It was fine for a few seconds, the feel of the pressure relaxing… it was fine for a few seconds when her thoughts had been reflecting on my worried expression and sadness but things got strange-strange for me-when she began thinking of one of her human males…. Who gave her a massage… she thought about the pressure he applied which felt infinitesimally soft and entirely teasing to her skin in his delicate weakness… she thought about his own hot skin overcome by Goosebumps when her marble fingers trailed his spine… she thought about her excitement when she gently held his manhood in her cold fingers and the heated flesh turned hot with pooling blood erecting it and her lips…

How soft humans were. Soft, pliable and velvety… _lips._

"Edward?" she asked but I already seen from her mind that she saw it. I felt it too but somehow I reacted too late, caught up in her erotic memory that spun my mind into hedonistic recalls… the venom pulsing through my veins to the tissue of my manhood, effectively tightening my pants, pushing the material upward under the strength of the erection…

"Uh…" I leaned forward away from her hands, my hands covering my shame. "I have to… I am going to go hunt"  
>"I'll come with you" she chirped, unperturbed by my shameful display of couth and basic lack of control. She was shamelessly aroused by the sight of my erection… when all I wanted to do was slice it of and bury it somewhere far away. I didn't really have a use for the thing… and I didn't want to entertain the possible uses it did wield for a mateless vampire.<p>

"We do not hunt together" I muttered, rising from the ground but not facing her… my penis would not desist anytime soon, the curses of being a vampire… "Males and females…"  
>"I need to make sure you don't chop it off in disgust" she murmured, half playful half full of lust and fuelling my dilemma further. "I think it is magnificent, Edward… and if you would but let me worship it…"<p>

"I have to return home" I said loudly-slightly terrified of her conviction and new power over me, springing in the air a good few feet away from her. "Thank you for your… hospitality, I have to return…to my family"  
>"Don't make me chase you Edward, you want me… its <em>obvious<em>…"

"Just because I have an erection does not mean it is because of _you_" I hissed sprinting into the darkness and leaving her outraged cry behind. Contemplations of exiling myself falling away with each mile I covered back to Forks.

It was just a silly reaction, from a silly vampire because of a silly human girl…

Xx~xx~xX

"Next time you want to take a trip to Denali" Esme said angrily. "You let your mother know… I was worried… Alice saw you abandoning the car and running over to Alaska…!"

"Why did you leave, Edward" she asked, more softly, closing my bedroom door and taking a sit on my treacherous gold couch. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I want to forget it"

"Alice said you would be there for a good week…" she sighed, picking up my folder with Angela and I's research. "This smells…"  
>"My art partner" I murmured, watching as she turned it over.<p>

"Oh, well…" she smiled putting the folder down. "I am glad you came back immediately. I was going to go over to Alaska and give you a lecture on common decency!"  
>I chuckled a little at the thought of her doing that.<p>

_What had upset you… are you okay? Are you lonely, did Tanya…_

"No…!" I almost growled. "I just went to visit the Denali and you know it is Tanya's birthday tomorrow?"

"Oh, yes… she does like her birthdays and gifts"

I grimaced at that.

"Well, I see you have homework" my mother smiled and winked at me. "Make sure to say good bye to me before you leave for school in the morning… okay"  
>"okay"<p>

She closed the door behind her, her thoughts a string of murmurs on the sadness in my eyes and the apprehension in my shoulders. I had to erase all physical evidence of my discomfort and lack of control…

I had to stop; I had to conquer Angela's odd effect on me… I had to stay away.

**AUTHORS NOTE: Review if you read and enjoyed! Review if you read and felt discomfort…tell me why? Review if you are human and like silly seventeen year old hormonal vampires! I am up for suggestions and criticism-the reason the story is moving slow(updates too) I have no real plot line so suggestions welcome.**


	7. It smells like drama

"So I think if we just work on our characters…"

She shuffled quickly, trying to stay in pace with me, her small feet taking quick uneven strides in their plight and her breathing had already started coming out in huffs. I didn't slow down for her or spare her a side glance of acknowledgement… I kept my steady mantra to stay away from her, to ignore her confused and sad thoughts at my change in behaviour and look straight ahead at the door of my advanced mathematics class.

What I didn't expect from Angela was for her to set foot inside the class- a class she was not in-and take a seat next to the perpetually empty seat besides me, never desisting with the questions and placing her books determinedly on the desk.

"Edward?" she asked, her little heart picking up pace and her finger pushing her horned rimmed glasses up nervously. "Did I do something… when you were at my house last"  
>"Angela" I said softly. "You are not in this class and you are about to miss your drama class…"<p>

"You know I take a drama class?"

"I know you are about to be put down for detention for _missing _your drama class and sitting in on _my_ maths class" I murmured, opening my books nonchalantly.

"Mr Burns won't mind…"she said seriously. _I just want to know why you… hate me._

"I don't…" I stopped immediately hating her for always causing my reason and logic to fly out of the window. "At least pretend to be interested in advanced math and pay attention when he walks in…?"

"I _am _interested in advanced math" she said frowning. "Will you stop running away from me?"

"Yes" I lied.

The rest of the lesson was torture. She was seated next to me, her heat wafting across me sadistically, spreading her scent around us like some sort of nuclear mushroom and her thoughts _actually_ paying attention to the lesson at hand…

Xx~xx~xX

"Peach-something by the looks of things…" Emmett murmured prodding the salad with slight revulsion. "Yours?"  
>"Uhm…" I peered into the little plastic container. "It's green…?"<p>

"Smell it…" Emmett said smiling a little.

I took a quick whiff and felt my face contort in revulsion: kiwi something, mixed with already decaying apple and some sort of liquid dust syrup…

_They should have their personal chef's make lunch instead of picking at food like its worms on platter…_

I turned around quickly and met Jessica's frowning eyes, which went wide with surprise before her eyelashes did their idiotic flirting fluttering dance, face turning an angry red and thoughts forgetting all about the snobbish Cullen's in favour of my _beautiful _eyes…

_Oh gosh…. Angela is right… he might like me…_

Angela told her I might like her…! How the hell did she come up to_ that…?_

"Dude… I know it stinks" Emmett laughed "But the scowl you are wielding is _actually _kind of scary…"

"It's nothing" I answered his thoughts. "Just… Argh, nothing."  
>"Look, you don't have to share…" he chuckled. <em>Seriously, you don't have to share… I am not good with pmsing teenage vampires…<em>

"Rosalie is eternally pmsing or is it menopause…" I began, smiling at how easily he had walked into that…

"Don't go there… she gives me great sex" he flicked some of his fruit salad towards but I dodged it easily. "Balances everything out… you on the other hand, give me great… what the hell _do you _give me?"  
>"Do you think I have beautiful eyes?" I asked Emmett seriously and before my eyes, he grinned first before guffawing and then suffering a seizure of massive stomach crunching giggles, surprising a few children near by.<p>

"Do I… what…" he laughed, wiping invisible tears from his eyes. "Do I think you have beautiful eyes?"

_Please tell me this has nothing to do with me asking what you give me because I am not sure I can handle a mind reading gay brother…_

"Of course not" I snapped.

"Well, you are a vampire so I think you have beautiful everything" he finished, trying to keep a straight face.

"Of course" I mumbled, absently flicking him square in the face with slowly rotting kiwi-apple salad.

"Funny" he muttered wiping the green gunk of his forehead. "I miss…"  
>"I am so glad she went with Esme for her wedding plans" I sighed grinning at him. "I haven't had this much peace in…"<p>

"Shut up" Emmett grinned. "It kind of sucks when it's just us two… you know, in this silly cafeteria"

"Jasper and Alice should be done… with whatever they needed to do in the car, they'll be here soon"  
>"Can you even say the word?" Emmett asked, his boyish grin in place at the subject of <em>sex<em>

"What for…" I muttered, folding my arms over my chest and attempting to _not _look at Jessica's table for Angela, even though I knew she was not seated there… her thoughts were absent from their chatter…

"Just… do you ever want to?" he asked seriously. "Do you ever think…?"

"This is not a conversation I am wiling to have with you at this present moment Emmett" I snapped.

"You think about it" he laughed. "You think about it a lot!"

"Shut up"

"So do you…" he leaned forward conspiratorially, willing me to look at him as he thought the words. _Do you give yourself a hand…?_

"Duck Emmett" Alice murmured, taking her seat fluidly.

"Where…?" Emmett asked and before his vampire mind could comprehend the double meaning of the word 'Duck' I hit him in the face again with a much larger blob of salad and he growled low at me.

"Uh uh" I laughed "Not in front of the children…."

"You can be such an idiot vampire" Alice murmured in a bored tone. "I say 'Duck' and you turn around looking for a pond…"  
>"I'll get you…!" he hissed at me, Jasper's chuckling fuelling his embarrassment. "I'll get you good, virgin vampire…"<p>

"Oh stop already" I laughed. "My virginity has nothing to do with you being mentally challenged…"

"I'd say Rosalie literally _fucked _his brains out!" Japer laughed, giving me a high five and trying to ignore Alice's look of distaste at his crudeness.

"Enjoy it while it lasts…" Emmett grumbled.

"Excuse me…" Angela's soft voice murmured and I froze. She was standing right behind me, down wind and her thoughts had been a soft ignorable whisper… she had actually managed to _startle _a vampire in her timidness…

_Why is… isn't that your Art partner…? _Alice asked, looking at me with a frown in place. Jasper stiffened by her side and stared intently at his food while Emmett folded his arms, a little pleased look gracing his features and an impish grin spreading across his lips.

"You are Eddie's art partner" he stated and I saw through his mind Angela's wide eyed expression, heard her confused jumbled thoughts at Emmett's boyish handsomeness and terrifying build.

She nodded furiously before coughing nervously and pushing her glasses up her nose.

"I'll be right back" I murmured, leaving my seat quickly and walking away from the table, not sparing Angela a look of acknowledgment and heading for the food line again.

She followed quickly her thoughts a mess of frustration.

"Edward!" she demanded standing next to me in the queue. "You said you'd wait and we could talk about…"

"If you give me your email" I said softly. "I can send you the work I have done. Everything is completed…"  
>"But we need to discuss the costumes…"<p>

"You can email me that too"  
>"What…." She huffed, rearranging the bundle of folders in her arms frustrated. "What did I do…?"<p>

"Nothing" I snapped. "I am just _busy_"  
>"You were the one who was eager to go shopping for the rest of the stuff…"<br>"I can manage that alone" I cut her swiftly

"Okay then" she breathed sending me one last confused look of frustration before walking away with out another word.

"Okay then" I said softly, watching her hurry away from me through the minds of interested humans and trying to ignore the feeling of impending doom consuming me.

I would have to think up an excuse for Alice-who sat still watching our short lived last conversation with curious eyes and questioning thoughts...

**AUTHORS NOTE: I DO NEED PRODDING TO KEEP THE UPDATES CONSISTANT as life has begun to distract me.**


	8. The Christian Thing to Do

The mind is a beautiful thing… at least that's what dead philosophers have led us to believe.

The curse of telepathy is knowing that most minds are not worth peeping into. The worst part of not being able to 'switch it off' is having to deal with all these worthless insipid minds on a continuous basis. Most people want to know exactly what it is others think of them, but I know… I know that there are few thoughts in this world that are pure and generous to any single outside individual let alone the carrier of the mind. Very few thoughts, possibly only a handful I know… I seek out willingly…

_I must have done something to irk him… maybe he realised how totally pathetic I am… oh, gosh I need to concentrate… five minutes left, what's the answer… Edward…_

Why wouldn't she stop with the _torture…_ why didn't she stop worrying and stressing over why I wouldn't talk to her or acknowledge her existence? Why did she have to be so strong when it came to every one else; brushing off Jessica's sarcastic remarks on her choice in fashion and being there for her brothers when school demanded so much of her. Why did she have to be insecure about this one little inconsequential thing...?

"Alright…" Mr Gilmore murmured. "Times up"

The classroom resounded in silent mental 'Shits' and 'I know I failed…' while Angela remained torn between her inability to concentrate on her English test while casting surreptitious looks my way and worrying for something entirely out of her control…

She was watching me with sad doleful large eyes, watching my turned form sitting solitarily on the front table and turned away from _everything_. And I was watching her through the minds of none-the-wise children, who did not notice her melancholia or stressed brow knit and full lips pouting…

The bell rang and I had to push my limbs to move. I had to walk out the door without looking back even though her thoughts kept murmuring my name… I had to but I couldn't…

I stood by the doorway waiting for her to walk through it and causing a few children to cast curious glances my way in surprise. She was second from last; walking out with a oblivious essica to her inner turmoil over possibly failing her test over a silly pretty sulking boy…

"Angela" I murmured as soon as they appeared. "If I could talk to you…"

They stood still, gaping at me and thoughts forming short sentences with no more than four words at a time, my face flipping through their minds with different flavours. Angela's mind slightly awe struck at my unnatural handsomeness and confused at the worried look o n my face and Jessica's thoughts fast forwarding past surprise to detailed analysis of my chest's definition under the grey sweater Alice had forced me to wear today… and then wondering how I looked without the sweater…

"Uh, please" I groaned as Jessica's eyes scanned down my body's length and causing my skin to crawl.

"Uhm… Jess, I'll catch up to you in Gym" Angela murmured

_He wants to ask her about me I just know it…!_

"Gym it is" Jessica squeaked casting me one last inappropriately hungry look.

"You have an interesting choice in a friend in that girl" I muttered watching Jessica walk away swinging a little too exaggeratedly.

"What…?" she rasped gawking at me. "What is it you want…?"

_Can't you **email** it to me…?_

I laughed, shaking my head and looking at her in disbelief. Of course she would not have said that out loud but it was surprising… her slight hidden sarcasm…

"_What?"_ she asked-slightly angry and nervous and uncomfortable than anything. Why did she have to be so _bloody _vulnerable…?

"I am not ignoring _you_ because there is something wrong with _you_ so stop wondering about_ it_" I breathed out quickly.

"What….!" She gasped. _I… the nerve… I am not… well, I did but he doesn't know it…_

"I am not _wondering_" she hissed. "I am not... wondering about _you_"

"Okay then" I chuckled "Then that's good. Maybe you will spend your next test concentrating on your paper and not my face…"  
>"You can be such a jerk…!" she groaned wheeling backwards, her hands messing with her tied back hair and thoughts a flurry of angry child-friendly cussing… "I was only wondering… I was only concerned because of the <em>project<em>…"  
>"I know that" I snapped; angry again that I had lost the plotline were I was a human boy <em>without <em>mind-reading skills…

"Then do not approach me…. with such…. Assumptions!" she shouted and I saw her eyes-behind her thick glasses-turn red and moist.

"Angela…" I breathed softly, willing for her to hear the little humanity I had left inside of me seeping out to her in my soft voice. "What I meant was I don't want you to worry over that… to worry over my silence or the project. The project will be done… I will hold up my level of work…"  
>"I just don't get you" she bubbled shaking her head a little more so her pony bounced behind her head.<p>

"It's… its better that way Angela" I whispered unable to look at her, unable to fathom why we were standing alone in the corridor-missing Gym class-and not _able _to understand _this_. She didn't understand why she felt like she was disowning something entirely beautiful and ethereal when she had spent little less than twelve hour's with this strange new boy…

"I just wanted to be your _friend_" she whispered softly. _No one else… I haven't been able to connect with someone like we did when you spent the day at my house… everyone needs a friend…_

"You have Jessica" I breathed.

"You have no one" she said smiling a little.

"I have my brothers and sisters…" I chuckled.

"It's not the same…" she said softly. _It's never the same…_

No, it wasn't the same… I had refused to acknowledge how abundantly soothing to my mind it had been to be alone with her and to talk to her, I had refused to concede to the fact that I missed her because it just didn't make any sense. She was a human, just a human, just a little girl…

"We are late for gym" she said softly, readjusting her back-pack on her back.

"Its dodge ball" I murmured. I really hated doge bal; the added fact that I could see the balls intended pathway from the mind of the thrower as well as my superior senses and speed made it the utmost form of torture… letting a ball hit you for _appearance sake._

She walked slowly toward the gym, her mind recapping our exchange in confusion and trying to decipher her tornado of emotions while I walked beside her quietly, listening to her soft mental tone and trying to compare what I felt to what_ she_ felt.

She had tried to remain angry at her misinterpretation of my mood, she tried to keep up her steady chanting of how I was being a jerk and justifying my bad behaviour with 'emo' excuses… oh how she tried but her character, her personality and religious tenor wouldn't allow her and how glad I was that she succumbed to my 'emo' excuses.

I was the brooding beautiful boy once again but I far _preferred _this title better than 'jerk'. Somehow, in Angela's sweet pure patient mind-any form of disapproving title felt like damnation to the worst form of hell or purgatory.

"Will you ever tell me why we cannot be friends…?" she asked softly.

"No… only because I do not want to have to lie to you" I murmured abruptly and then frowned at my lack of control. Lack of thought or manual on my own idiot mouth…

"That's fine" she said, stopping by the girls changing room. "I think we are going to be in trouble with coach… detention even"

"You read my mind"

Xx~xx~xX

_Maybe its his home situation… maybe he is not settling well with his adoptive family… maybe he misses his real parents or wants to meet them… maybe it's the change in schools… or maybe…_

Art was going to be long.

We sat quietly beside each other; an odd comforting sort of silence for her under her insistent wondering on my being when I had specifically instructed her not to wonder only an hour and a half ago…

She began building herself into a sort of determination to 'help' me… to 'fix' me because that was the Christian thing to do. Oh, if she knew she was trying to relate and council a demon…

"So how do you want to go about this because apparently talking is part of forming a friendship" she chuckled. "How are we going to 'work on this' with you levelling your work…"  
>"We will find a way"<p>

"You are funny" she smiled. _Everyone needs to talk_….

"You can't save everyone" I murmured.

"Who said I am saving you?" she laughed.

"This _trying_ to be my friend" I said seriously.

"You are over thinking…" she said softly. _Hmm… maybe if I manage to get him and Jessica together…_

"I am pretty sure you are doing _all _the thinking on this" I said dryly. "I am over a hundred percent certain you are the one doing all the over thinking and _blowing _this out of _proportion,_ Angela Weber"  
>"There is a youth meeting…" she said ignoring my statement, her eyes shining with hope and excitement "On Friday… for the Evangelic church…"<p>

"I haven't been to church in _ages_" I murmured trying not to laugh at her unintentional _absurdness_

"Well… its not like you will burst into flames if you walk through the door"

**AUTHORS NOTE: I know this song has been sung to often by fanfic writes but…. Review!**


	9. There ain't no Sunshine

"Well, then I think I need art classes" she murmured- a soft giggle following her words. "I am atrocious"  
>"No you are not" I breathed, thinking of her large depthless eyes, not necessarily her drawing skills.<p>

"Wait till we get to the actual 'art part' of this project" she chuckled and I heard a dull thud of something dropping on a soft surface on her end of the line.

"What was that?" I asked her and she sighed.

"You heard that…? I dropped my coffee mug and now there is a stain" she said warily. "I'll see you in school tomorrow… and we can work on the project a little more. Maybe you can teach me how to draw"  
>"Isn't that our teachers job" I laughed-pressing for more time with her on the phone; where it was safe and easy to talk without hearing her thoughts or worrying of <em>other forces.<em>

"I think you would do a much better job" Angela said seriously. "Sometimes it's like you know what I am thinking"

"Maybe I do" I said seriously.

"Maybe you do…" she laughed. "I really have to go Edward, and we are still not friends?"

"Still not friends" I said tensely and she sighed. "Goodbye Angela"

The line went dead and I was left alone in the middle of my clearing. It wasn't a dark night although there were few cards littering the sky and the absence of a moon. It wasn't dark at all but every object seemed to possess a shadowy quality of hidden secrets or watching eyes.

A vampire standing desolately in the middle of his previously peaceful clearing, clutching his little black phone carefully in steel fingers, staring at it with intense pathetic hope that those numbers that he had dialled moments ago would flash across the screen and he would hear her husky yet feminine voice enquire once more on his well being.

_This day had been terrifying. The day that had past before the moment I had grabbed my phone, excused myself from the house with the guise of hunting and called her._

**Xx~xx~xX**

I wish I could say I had woken up surprised to find the sun shinning, happy that I would feel the rays of the elusive solar ball on my skin and excited to rush to school to see my friends and be near a very special girl.

Instead, what was offered to me by fate and the sadistic masters of the _damned_-those elusive beings who were neither evil nor good; I had watched grimly as the sun rose, alerted prior by Alice that I would be missing a day of school and be stuck at home with the sound of their chatter and love filling my already crowded head, and this was before we got to their hidden not so private thoughts.

I had no measure of distraction save for Carlisle and he was currently trying to shower Esme with attention after being away for so long.

I was stuck to my thoughts.

When the sun had risen, I had been certain that Angela was a simple human girl, with simple human beauty and in possession of a simple but magnificent soul. It had been… simple.

Alice and Jasper were murmuring idle plans that needed to begin moving and as I walked over to them I gathered it was a moment meant only for two. I would never willingly seek Emmett out when Rosalie was in his perimeter but I had been forced to. He was eager to build a meter high house of cards with me for the most part but all it took was Rosalie flipping her hair a certain way (even though I could read minds I didn't understand the allure of such a gesture to Emmett) and arching her back so her bust stuck out.

I built the mansion of cards in less than thirty minutes-alone.

_That was how it had begun…_

Xx~xx~xX

I was in the garage, polishing my Volvo carefully when I had lost the battle of not analysing Angela's conversation on 'going to Youth'.

In all my years-mortal and otherwise-I had been confident. I had no reason to be insecure of anything, I had no fear of wanting something because in all instances I could possess it easily  
>and more importantly I might have had a slight understanding of my <em>looks.<em>

It was not vanity… it was _awareness_. I did not have the normal reaction any male or female would have to having opposites lured by their simple presence. I hated it, I still did… it was suffocating and it made people judge you prior to you opening your mouth. I looked like my mother in a whimsical way when I was young, I was pretty and it irked both my self and my roguish father…

Gangly limbs and pretty fluttering eyes-what man carries such arsenal into war?

But when I thought of Angela's general concentration on me-taking her thoughts and speech into careful consideration side by side-I realised she did not possess an ounce of the infatuation most if not all women carried at any contact with me.

Sure enough she would be side tracked by my beauty-but it was all elemental. It was all a once of thing. It would be a sort of 'Oh my, what pretty eyes' and she would follow that with a 'but he looks so sad'.

She would think of how tall I was and wonder if it were a family thing because all my siblings aside from Alice were blessed with height. If she did outright think I was handsome… she didn't dwell on it. It was as though she knew it was just an encasing of the being I was inside of this body.

Edward was handsome but he was sad and lonely.

I grimaced at the thought-the realization. She pitied me…

That was how it had started to turn into frenzy, this morning. The realization that Angela's attention was solely born out of _pity_…

Xx~xx~xX

Pity. The word had played around my head before I had done yet another impulsive act due to Angela by lunchtime.

I suddenly hated her for _pitying me_. I hated her for making me understand her view point of the 'Lonely Beautiful Boy'. I hated that I could not operate a simple task without having her name drumming at the back of my skull like I had been hypnotized by her very eyes. the house was a prison again… I ignored Emmett's sudden burst of attention towards me when he had finished with Rosalie-or the other way around.

"I am not interested" I had murmured to him, concentrating painfully on my piano-not playing it but obsessing over the polished wood with my eyes while my mind was a flurry of commotion on the Weber girl and her absurdness.

"Why?"

"Go away"

The piano had never been cleaner.

Xx~xx~xX

By midday I was beside myself; my mind had spun a scenario that was-like Angela-absurd.

She pitied me. Art was not the project; I was. She wanted to fix me-I had uttered those words before but with no true conviction but here it was-plain and simple. I was the pitiful project she wished to complete.

My beauty held no worth to her except an irritating distraction when she was trying to be my _friend._

"Where are you going?" Alice had mumbled-sulking that when she had finally accomplished enough selflessness to spare me a glance-I had found myself stolen by someone else's oblivious focus.

"For a run" I had snarled-causing her to jump and Jasper to frown at my sudden volatile stance.

Through the forest I had whizzed; feet angrily pounding at the ground-leaving trenches instead of ghosting footprints, my hands ripping the bush so I left a carpet of hedge-like quality behind me and no animals remained around the perimeter of my travel.

It was school break at Forks High when I had arrived. The children convening in the outside garden, little cardigans and T-shirts on. Happy and free…

They had woken up surprised to find the sun shinning, happy that they would feel the rays of the elusive solar ball on their skin and excited to be at school with their friends and possibly spend time with a special girl or boy.

I spotted her after sifting angrily and jealously over the heads of children and through their thoughts. It was difficult when they didn't see her captivating interest and wouldn't spare her a second of reprieve in their minds… but I had found her.

I had found her sitting still and awkwardly on a stone garden chair; her hair tied into reckless pigtails, a darker ebony shade playing freely in her hair where the light hit it-ebony and honey brown, her skin with its slight olive tint darkening slightly-unnoticeably to human eyes, her glasses removed… eyes exposed and unseeing in their large innocent seduction…

And before her, Ben stood with her glasses in his hands murmuring to her that she should update her frame. He whispered to her that it was of an old fashion, that he had recently upgraded to something modern himself…

His thoughts had been innocent and pure-a gentleman from another time _even _but I had succumbed to my personal monster none the less. Tree's were uprooted in a blurry tantrum, I had failed to maintain my humanity as my back arched out and I had hissed noisily and unheard, growled low and too far and the human boy had remained in front of Angela and safe.

It was not Ben who had caused me to hate him without reason. It was Angela.

All my pondering on how she looked at me-with pity hit me full force with dramatic effect. I had managed to save face with the little prize that she had a slight motherly quality to her mental tone when she was thinking of me.

As though I were her little brother, cute and in need of a hug…

But as Ben stood before her with oily skin that was in risk of breaking out in large boils, his glasses may have been modern but they made his square head look more like a box and his hair was bland… as Ben stood before her she _glowed_.

She gave him a smile I had never seen; bright, beautiful and bold. She fluttered her eyelashes in perfect imitation of countless women who had done so for me-but she did it for him alone. She bit her lip with conscious effort-unlike her absent gnawing when she was deep in thought-forgetting my presence. She played with the end of one of her pigtails with flirtatious intention unlike when her shirt had been the one to flirt on her behalf that day in her bedroom.

She wanted him. She yearned for him. She looked at him like he was the beginning and the end. The saviour and the tyrant of her heart… I had never understood entirely why people-humans and vampires-were obsessed with being needed and wanted. Loved and held…

I didn't understand it _still_ in that moment but somehow I had fallen into an addiction for a drug I had never tasted. Addicted to the unknown capabilities of Angela's full attention… it wrecked the cavity of my chest, pounding in place of a dead heart, achingly traumatising my stomach into unease-to not have control of this feeling.

And I had watched her from then; understood her pining for Ben as a pain she bared silently and with effort. She would never see me as she saw Ben because to her-Ben was plainly made for her. She saw their love in her quiet fantasies-when it did flourish with due time above their _friendship_-as a quaint little peace of heaven that was substantial and not grandeur.

She didn't want grand. She didn't want the ostentatious courtship… she didn't want the _too _beautiful boy who would dim out her beautiful effortless shine with his aggressive too abundant allure…

She didn't want me.

When had I wanted her to want me like Ben…? It felt like always… it felt like I had wanted this long before she had been born, long before I had been changed to a vampire… it felt like I had wanted this for always and I had been walking around angry because I hadn't realised it.

Now I had realised it-not necessary understood the ailment-and the anger diminished.

All that was left was a helpless desolate being-despairing for eternity over the loss of something he had never had.

Xx~xx~xX

Minutes before I had made the kill… I had called her under the guise of 'the project'. I called her to convince myself that I didn't have to punish her for something that was enigmatic to both of us. I didn't want her to be obsessing over _my _brooding selfishness… I was spoilt beyond recognition and she was selfless. True and perfect…

I called her, I spoke to her and I remained _as I am_- a withered resilient beautiful monster, alone in the dead of night that was eternity…

**AUTHORS NOTE: remember to review… it brings me joy to know you read, enjoyed, understood… even when you have a valid critic, suggestion… voice it out… it brings me joy and fuels the writing! This was a sort of back tracking tense… end, to beginning and back to end.**

**Thanks for reading! TJ**


	10. An incompareable Fork's Summer Day

_Tiny flecks of burnt butter swimming in ivory milk mould themselves into the hard casing of a face, copper grass forming two bushes above a hollow cavity that fills with gold that solidifies and remains liquid with each passing second…_

_A face glorious and beautiful is formed; smooth almost pore- less skin, a nose straight and elegant in its masculinity and pale purplish lips capturing eyes of bashful virgins. It is his eyes she gazes into, his eyes she drowns in…_

_Topaz domes hold a sadness that seems ancient and beautiful; who knew despair could be so seductive and a smile so rarely given so addictive..._

I should move away…

I shouldn't be watching her.

I shouldn't be in her room.

Why in the name of all that was real in this world was I here. How had I wandered from my hunting ground, my peaceful little clearing and wound up here… before her. I was supposed to go home after the phone call, after she said goodnight. My mind had tried desperately to convince some substitute for my heart of this… my mind had tried, failed and my limbs had driven through the night in a trance.

This was wrong… if I was found out… this was completely wrong.

She lay in her bed, her covers wound tightly over her body. She had left the window open and the only thing visible too me to give reality to her presence-aside from her scent and familiar heart beat-was her umber hair splayed over the covers like liquid silk tipped in golden brown.

I left without looking back, running against the night and begging unknown forces that my mind would regain control.

Xx~xx~xX

"My painting sucks…" Angela whined peering over at my own and frowning. "Don't tell me Da Vinci is a lost relative of yours…"

"No he is not" I said dryly.

_Back to Pensive Model…_

"I am not…" I began and then opted to huff instead.

"_You are not_ my friend?" she asks grinning and ignoring my moodiness. "You sound like my little brother"

"I am not a brother to you"

"Okay then" she chuckles colouring in a border of one of the boards in glitter.

"Glitter…?" I say in shock. "Are you serious… glitter Angela?" 

She pauses her colouring in, glitter-pen hovering over the paper and looks at me indicatively.

_I like purple glitter…_

"That's beside the point" I mutter too low for her to hear. "Glitter on an Elizabethan Art Project"

"I... I like purple" she said staring at the board in realisation, her thoughts noting that I was indeed concerned for the project-not mad at her.

"We can use a sort of dusty purple paint" I sighed, leaning absently on my arm, the industrial carpet of the class room tickling my skin "If you want maximum marks... you have to make it authentic"

"You talk as if this is _my _project and you are only tutoring me" she chuckles smiling at me-a free movement of her full matted pink lips and I feel an odd snaking feeling in my stomach. It is disrupted immediately when I hear his thoughts searching for her, and the classroom door opens…

"Angela?" Ben murmurs, closing the door behind him and taking a step forward, waving his hand cautiously at me in greeting. I nod back at him and glare at our half completed board as Angela's mind is overcome by incoherence and fluttering exclamations.

"Oh… I got lost… in time" she giggles, trying to pack her pencil case but knocking it over instead-pens rolling out in various directions. I would have stopped their escape easily but opted to prolong the moment she would leave with Ben for Mathematics, the moment she would leave _me_…

She scrambled on her hands and knees collecting her pens while I watched silently; Ben noting the odd way I watched her but disregarding it instantly. He stood nervously by the door, slightly irritated at Angela's clumsiness-a clumsiness he never once thought was due to his presence.

"Uh… see you late Edward" she breathed smiling quickly at me, collecting her bags and disappearing through the door in her new high from being with an oblivious Ben.

I was left alone with her purple glitter pen, forgotten beneath one of the tables.

Xx~xx~xX

"You are late" Emmett huffed. "You are never late…"  
>"At least now you know how I feel when you take long with Rosalie…"<p>

"So you were late 'taking long' with _whom_" Emmett laughed, nudging me to forcefully and almost toppling me of my seat.

"What's that?" he asks when I place the glitter pen carefully in front of me; he tried reaching for it and then stopping when I moved it an inch away.

"A pen"

"I can see that" he says dryly. "But why is it pink"

"That Is not pink…" I murmur. "It's _purple_"

"Who cares" he chuckled quietly. "What I want to know is why it is glittery? Are you trying to accessorize with your _skin_?"

"Shut up and learn some Spanish" I huffed and opened my text book, watching our teacher battle with her own inferior Spanish.

"Glittering vampire is collecting glittering pens" he chuckled under his breath. "Oh, Jazz is going to love this one at lunch time"

Xx~xx~xX

The children love it when a teacher gets sick.

The class is devoid of any authority figure save for Leah Clearwater's timid position behind the large desk (she sat awkwardly, semi-hiding and eating her lunch early) and is filled instead with unproductive chatter and laughter of teenagers. I cannot bring myself to utter a word to her, my curiosity killing me on her standing with Ben and her ability to easily forget my still form besides her disheartening.

She is scribbling furiously in her notebook, her nose nearly touching her page and occasionally straightens up to push her glasses up. It is Lunch soon, and Angela thinks ahead-finishing up her Math homework before moving on to her Physic's work. Mike Newton waves his hand at her but she doesn't notice and I don't care enough to alert her. They know she has finished her homework, they know she has a kind heart and they think they are important because… there is no just reason to this.

A few seconds later, my personal space that consists of Angela and her strawberry shampoo is taken over by Mike, Lauren and Jessica in their quest for free homework.

"Angela…!" Jessica exclaims, startling Angela into slashing a blue line over her physics work-equations she had been struggling to complete ruined.

"Dude…we have been calling you over to _our _table for like… minutes" Lauren sighs rolling her eyes; as though their table was some form of sacred space. I remain quiet and unmoving, staring out the window and watching them through their own minds. I am easily forgettable like this, a statue…

_Oh, my gosh… how can she even do all these confusing sums next to him…_

Easily dismissible to anyone outside of Jessica and her obsessive infatuation! She immediately began turning to past forgotten fantasies… lurid and offensive… 

"Won't you help me with my Math?" Jessica asks Angela while twirling her hair in my direction, casting me not so surreptitious looks and fluttering her overly done eyelashes.

"By help she means copy" Lauren scoffs, watching the back of my unmoving head in petulance. She wants me to turn and look at her, she wants me to turn and notice that she is wearing a very low v neck… Argh…

"Okay" Angela whispers, reaching down into her bag for her Mathematics book. _I really shouldn't do this… it's not fare on them… I should offer to help them with their maths so they can pass their tests…_

She could be cocky and snarky with a vampire but felt this overwhelming compassion for unworthy children…! I wished she would fold her arms; smirk at them as she had done with me and called them out… refused them her Math book…

"Hello Cullen" Mike said finally after minutes of angry internal ranting that I didn't pay him and his posse any notice.

I quirked my head slightly-enough that he would know I regarded him-and stiffened back to my position, shuffling my arm a little for a more human movement.

"Uh… how far are you guys with your project?" Angela asks when Mike grabs a stool and stubbornly sits on our desk, folding his arms defensively and scowling at the back of my head. She doesn't like the odd animosity reflecting of Mike, she doesn't know that Mike hates that Jessica and Lauren insisted on coming over to our desk when she would not go to theirs because of 'Cullen and his freaky paleness'…

"Not far" Lauren sighed.

"I am just going to Google the whole thing and paste it on a board" Mike said half interested "You?"

"Edwards and I…" Angela murmurs touching my bare arm with soft fingers to grab my attention, to include me in their useless human conversation and causing my whole arm to catch fire, the heat spreading to my face and from my previously scowling reflection I see wide startled golden eyes.

"Edward and I have completed the board" she says her hand leaving my burning frozen skin, disappointment tainting her thoughts that I was still 'upset that she left me to do most of the work on the board alone' and would not indulge Mike and his groupies.

"Oh… okay" Jessica says slowly and I can see from Laurens eyes, Jessica's contorted expression-her thoughts confused as to why Angela could touch me when she couldn't even speak to me. "And what of the piece of literature… you are supposed to include?"

"Argh" Angela sighs. "I don't know… we chose to do William Shakespeare but I think everyone is doing that… it will be easy because we are working on his work in English, right. Just copy from the English…"  
>"Isn't it strange that we have a Shakespeare test on Elizabethan times…?" Lauren asks.<p>

"Yeah…" Mike scoffs. "I bet that stoner Art teacher of ours had a gay talk with our English teacher on how to 'pansify' our football team"

"Of topic" Lauren sighs. "What Shakespearean work are you doing… with Edward"

_Oh I wish he was my partner… oh that sweater…_

"We are _not _doing Hamlet or Macbeth" I say automatically, stopping Angela's furious mental flipping of all the pieces she knew, startling everyone on the table.

"Then…what are we doing?" Angela asked.

"Shall I compare thee… of course" I sighed, sitting straight and including them in my vision finally.

"Shall I.. What?" she asked her brow creasing in confusion.

"How can you know Macbeth, Hamlet… King Lear… and not this particular poem and call yourself a Shakespearean heart?" I laughed, watching as she pouted slightly, ignoring Jessica, Mike and Lauren's disbelieving silence at the familiarity in which I addressed Angela and Angela responded with.

"Well… I am sure you are going to tell me about this poem" she murmured shyly-embarrassed at not knowing it.

It felt like I had quenched the parching dryness in my throat when I had finally spoken to her, removed the blindness from my eyes when I had finally looked at her and released the knife in my side when I had regarded her as part of my world.

"Shall I compare thee…?" I whispered, ignoring the silent stares of the three other human children, holding her gaze desperately and calculating easily how long I would have to deliver this to her before the bell released her from my inhuman hold. It was wrong for me to upset the balance, to turn to my vampirism… it was wrong and dangerous but I wanted what Ben had got moments earlier from her. I wanted her attention… how selfish… entirely deliciously selfish she had made me…

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" I murmured, falling into her brown eyes-my own reflection smoothing over in them into a tranquil angel-demon lost and forgotten in her never ending kind heart, her vision of me in her mind solid the children diffusing around us… I was all she could see and hear. She was all I could hear, smell and see… _forever_.

"_Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate:_

_Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath too short a date._

_Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines, and often is his gold complexion dimmed_

_And every fair from fair sometimes declines, By chance or nature's changing course untrimmed:_

_But thy eternal summer shall not fade nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;_

_Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade when eternal lines to time thou grow'st:_

_So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and gives life to thee_

At first I thought it was I who had hypnotized her; it was because of me she could not look away, it was because of my callousness with my deformed nature we were staring at each other as though there was no other alternate image to gaze into…

How wrong I was.

I was the one who was hypnotized. She had compelled the vampire, she had my burnt heart pumping dead blood, and she had my mouth dry and my vision… I had gone insane, these things could not happen to a vampire. These things… were impossible.

I had no heart for my chest to be squeezing this tight, I had no sweat for my skin to feel this hot and cool simultaneaously and of spit… oh yes. I had _venom…_

I searched into her mind, my own mind a clouded mess of all things to do with her; olive skin, curved lips, tiny nose and dark hair…. Eyes wide and doe-like, brown and umber with golden flecks… I was drowning… I would surely die…

She blinked. I blinked. The spell was broken and the bell rang.

From their minds, I saw my form pick my bag up swiftly and escape childishly but still with a supernatural grace from under the table; unable to move near Angela. From their minds I heard the disbelief of what had just passed between Angela and I…

What had just passed?

What had I done?

What had I done to myself… I knew she was unharmed. Startled, disorientated by my concentrated presence… a presence I had wished to cause her to view me more closely… but instead it was I who had viewed her too closely. Dug a pit so deep the light was put out, thrown myself into it and now I was scrabbling to find my way out.

She had become my prison.

Xx~xx~xX

"What's wrong with you?"

"I am not in the mood Rosalie" I said with little conviction, prodding my salad half heartedly and refusing to look up at Angela's insistent questioning gazes.

She sat with Ben, opposite our table, discussing the project and discussing me.

The moment I had felt; when the earth had moved as I recited those words written decades upon centuries ago… that unrecoverable feeling that had escaped as I fell into her eyes for two minutes and sixteen seconds of wording Shakespeare, had been different for her, for myself and for Mike and his posse.

In my immortality and different perception of time, it had felt like years of watching her eyes and watching her thoughts and mind's vision form my face differently through that time. For her, it felt like something easily refutable; easily explainable to Edward's need for perfection, Edward's easy attractiveness and eloquence.

I sat in her mind like a bruised section of skin located somewhere not easily reachable and its itchiness easily forgotten for minutes at a time. She knew she shouldn't scratch it because it would hurt…

I was unattainable, she chanted. Her chanting and mantra convinced her that the moment she had seen-the things she had imagined in my eyes-were a result of spending to much time with me.

I looked up at her and she gasped.

_Does he like… no never, get a hold of your self Angela. It was just poetry… you are sitting next to Ben… Sweet Ben who doesn't have mood swings and a thousand girls adoring him… just you. only you Angela, only you can see Ben's true beauty…_

I couldn't help myself… all the confusion in my stomach, venomous snakes twisting hard and painfully and she sat with the adorable pimply Ben, trying to grab her infatuation back for him and couldn't stop thinking of my eyes.

I smiled at her and she dropped her plastic fork.

"What are you doing ?" Rosalie asked looking around the cafeteria for the thing that had me smiling. "You can't do your mind reading and _smile _at nothing!"  
>"Rosalie…" I sighed. "Leave me alone… please"<br>"Babe, he has been weird the whole day…" Emmett murmured. "Just ignore him… its nothing…"  
>"He is just having his period" Jasper finished, smirking at me from across the table. <em>What's with the emotional fluctuations?<em>

"It's nothing… just… had a funny memory" I grinned at him and he huffed, returning his attention back to a pouting Alice.

Alice.

I had to make sure she kept her concentration on Jasper… I had to be careful… no active decision the next time I spy on Angela, no-not spy-check on her. The next time I check on her…

The next time I check on her? Was it going to be a regular thing…? If Carlisle found out the 'right and wrong' speech I would receive… oh heavens… I felt uncontrolled.

Unhinged, derailed and entirely happy.

I waited for her to forget my voice, to have no recall of the words I had told her through Shakespeare; the secret I had murmured to her in front of her peers so freely and vulnerably. I waited long, I waited hard but for the remainder of the day… it was all she could think of-possibly failing her chemistry test because of it. All she could hear was my voice-unable to pay attention to Jessica's chatter at gym.

I waited but the image of my smiling face-a smile exclusively for her-kept her heart beat working over time and my own dead one squeezing at the remnants of living.

What did I want to come out of this…? What cruelty was I inflicting on her for my own personal joy and addiction? This had to end… but not just yet… just this once, I could be selfish. This moment, on this incomparable cold summer's day, I would have this.


	11. Selfish

I was selfish.

She tossed in her bed, throwing her thick blanket to one side and moaned low when she got the cool air she subconsciously craved. Her hair spread about her head like fire today, her hands fisted above her head and tank top creased and worn, shorts dark and contrasting beautifully with the expanse of skin her long legs gave.

I was selfish.

She dreamt of love and olden days when men were taught of chivalry and songs worshipped every act of heroism with promise of immortal glory. She dreamt of me telling her of summer and how wonderful the flowers were, how beautiful the green canopy of trees breathed and the safety of their cool shade. Ben whispering to her the appeal of winter, the lost heat and the welcoming clean beauty of white and the lesson of creating a different warmth to combat a misunderstood chill. The irony of her dream… I was winter really, Ben summer…

The irony of her dream and the realization it gave me on how selfish and underhanded I was.

Ben was summer, he was her warmth and natural love and I was the cold winter that bore crystal jewels and appealing diamonds with the promise of a frozen love that would die in old. In her dream I stood unsure in the warmth of the sun, I stood out of place in the nuances of orange, gold, yellow and honey. I was not meant to be in her world and I was selfishly looking for signs and hidden secrets on how I could remain.

When I left, I let the window remain slightly open so she could not be too hot and sleep well. When I left, I knew I would never be able to _not _return to her in someway….

Xx~xx~xX

I followed her in the thoughts of every human. I followed her in the scent she left with her every movement. I followed her in her own thoughts and in my own steadily increasing fantasies. I followed her… and lost myself.

She still did not think of me in the same way her mind lingered on all things to do with Ben; the way she dwelt on Ben with sweet innocent adoration with a slightly seducing tint to some allure _Ben _held. Ben, Ben… _Ben…_ she would chant and I would listen with bated breath for my name to somehow get lost in her soft mental tone, and when it did-it didn't matter that she had thought of Ben ten times in the space of an hour period. That one time she had spared me sixteen seconds in her mind, that one time she had thought quickly and wistfully how she missed our limited time together during the project and even the marring confusion I had left in her heart-especially that intricate perplexity I had lodged into her mind on how a being so beautiful could have ever gazed upon her with undiluted awe. Oh, especially that one time, in those sixteen seconds every hour of her classroom that she allowed my name to drift into her mind with charring control…

That one time was enough for me. It was my drug.

Sixteen seconds had never made one man so entirely happy.

But that was the problem at the end of the day; I may be one but I was not a _man_. I was no man and Ben _was_ and those sixteen seconds turned into the sweetest section in my personal hell.

Xx~xx~xX

I was becoming _increasingly_ careless.

"Edward…" Alice said ominously and I saw as the vision played out in her mind. "I see you in a forest…"

"Hmm" I said, terrified on what would be revealed as the vision formed in semi solidity.

"It's your _place_…" she murmured and I saw my little piece of peace in her mind. My _meadow_…

"Oh, you don't have to dictate it Alice…" I whispered to her. "I can see it in your head"

"But we want to know about it too" Rosalie said frowning at me.

"It's private…" I hissed. "It's about my…"

The image spun out; I was in the meadow, lying still on the ground, exposed in the sun and watching me carefully-kneeling by my tranquil form on the green lush grass-was Angela.

Alice gasped and snapped her eyes open, staring at me in disbelief.

"I would never…" I began but my chest tightened as I realised it was an uncertainty on whether or not I would reveal myself to Angela. It was uncertain as each second passed and I found myself addicted to her exponentially.

"Wouldn't you?" she asked me, her eyes wide-ignoring Jasper's tugging on her arm for her to share my future.

"I wouldn't…" I grimaced. "Don't say anything _please_…"  
>"It is up to you" she whispered, shooing Jasper's silent cries for her attention on the matter with an impatient flick of her dainty marble hand.<p>

"If it affects the family, Alice…" Rosalie began but Alice raised her hand dismissively.

"He is right" she sighed. "If it is about him… truly speaking it is up to him to share. It won't affect anything as yet… if it was a certain vision, I _would_ tell Rosalie"

"And Edward" Alice sighed, her thoughts immediately pulling on each memory she had of Angela. "It better not be a certain vision then… it better not be anything that results in your _boredom _if you understand what it is I am saying"  
>"Of course I understand" I said tetchily, smoothing my face quickly as she started to prognosis her premonition gift and search further while using her memories of Angela as a catalogue-trying to understand it, wondering what it meant-thinking the worst case scenario that I would loose control finally.<br>The vision wasn't solid. It diffused but her face was unmistakeable staring at my own calm face. My eyes had been closed, a smile on my face…

"You look spooked" Emmett tried. "Is it that bad?"

"Not bad…" I said hoarsely, peering over to Angela as she laughed with Mike "Too good to be true"

"Right" Jasper huffed. "You know I hate it when you two do this"  
>"I am sorry Jazz" Alice sighed. "I really can't… sensitive topic…"<br>"Whatever" Rosalie hissed. "Emmett lets go… I can't stand all these _non-answers!"_

Xx~xx~xX

The problem with the vision isn't the content of the vision itself. I was in control of that, I was certain. There was no need for me to expose myself to Angela. I could never expose myself to Angela-Angela the slightly zealous Christian. It would be more than certainty without the need of any _vision producing vampire _on her reaction to being shown a real live _demon_…

Alice's vision didn't make sense in that regard.

The one thing that terrified me as I walked to my last lesson on art and the hand in on our project-my last reason to ever talk to Angela-was the fact that it appealed to me in immeasurable ways to have her _accept_ me. To be _accepted_ by Angela Weber…

As I am.

Xx~xx~xX

She sat still by my side, rereading her note for the third time and realising with each increase in seconds that she wasn't up to presenting this audibly in front of the whole class in the silly gown and with me. She regretted it would be with me because even now, seated next to me-with my head turned away and my every fibre trying to pretend I wasn't there-that I didn't exist for her to be this uncomfortable; she could barely think and barely stop wondering on the poem.

On Shakespeare and dreams.

"Angela" I sighed after a minute of her wringing her hands over each other and looking back at the rest of the class-feeling extremely unprepared. She jumped, a soft yelp and then stiffened-it seemed I had succeeded in making her forget about my presence for a second…

"Uh…" she pushed her glassed up her small nose and peered ever so slightly in my direction, opting to stare at a poster in front of me that completely regard me. "Yes?"

"I can present" I murmured, staring at her left hand placed flat on the table, soft steaming forming around the veneer countertop. "I'll do the presentation"

"That would be hardly fair" she whispered-one of her internal warring topics was that I may have done slightly more work than her.

"All is fair in love and war" I muttered too fast and soft for her to hear.

"I don't mind" I said to her and she shook her head slightly, reaching over to her shoulder to pull the bulky dress up.

"I do" she said shortly. "I mind Edward"  
>"What is this about" I tried instead, braving the side of me that didn't want to upset her. "You didn't say hello today"<p>

"What?" she looked at me this time, indignation colouring her face before a slight pink flush escaped to her cheeks when our eyes met, my own skin felt electrocuted by the contact our eyes made and I looked away quickly, balling my hands on my lap.

"You barely talk.." she stammered angrily. "You just… huff and nod and you want me to say hello"  
>"Hmm" I chuckled. "I thought that since this was our last day working together, politeness would be customary"<p>

"You are absurd" she snapped, her feelings twisted into a snarling rope of hot anger that she couldn't justify against me, even with my apparent 'cockiness'.

"Let me do the presentation" I sighed. "Seriously… you can do all the pointing on the diagram"  
>"I don't want to" she murmured-irritated at herself when she sounded sulky.<p>

"Maybe…" I tried dangerously, leaning a little closer to her and frowning when she stiffened. "Maybe you can recite Shall I Compare Thee to the class instead, as your input"  
>"I…" she paused her eyes wide and anger gone and replaced with heated embarrassment. "No thank you"<p>

"Now you can be polite" I murmured leaning away from her as she recalled my recital to her with embarrassed tones and unease.

"You can be a right…" she hissed spinning to glare at me and then pausing confused. I saw my expression in her mind, I saw the little way my lips tugged down and the long sad depth my eyes carried-a sadness born out of living for too long and barely ever tasting joy.

"Edward?" she murmured and I smiled wistfully at her, pushing my shortened rendition of the lengthy speech she wanted to carry out to her.

"Maybe you are right" I breathed. "I should let you do the presentations… use my notes, their quicker and clearer…"

She ignored my quip on her writing and stared at the two neatly cut cards with too much wonder before looking up at me again with her disarming gaze.

"It doesn't have to be over because the project is" she said suddenly. "I mean… uhm, we can be… friends…?"  
>"I don't think so Angela" I whispered, falling into her eyes for what I feared would be the last time. "I am better of <em>sulking<em> on the edge of the desk"

"I didn't mean that"

I remained quiet, willing her to move past that comment-she hadn't said that aloud, of course she would never say something like that aloud-but she had thought it. She moved over it, then returned to it frowning but letting it go. There was no way I knew her thoughts….

"Edward…" she breathed and I realised if this was me saying goodbye to her, I was doing it all wrong and giving her a different message altogether.

"The teacher is here, you have to be quiet" I sighed, sitting straight.

She turned around frowning, confused and worried. I was the jerk and then I was _the_ gentleman… I recite poetry to her and then mock it and the sadness she had seen had disarmed her. A perfect Cullen. A perfect Edward. Such depthless despair was not fitting on a beautiful face…

This was goodbye, it had to be goodbye. Alice's vision had sealed that whether it was solid or not because there were laws against what was playing out in my meadow. There were vampires who did not take kindly to such frivolous conduct of secret living and I would be most selfish to put her in that danger. If I cared about her the way I had unwittingly grown to care, if I felt for her the way I had never felt for another… then wouldn't I be most selfless to remain on the edges of her summer and hidden in her winters. Shouldn't I let fall be, and autumn prosper in her bright future.

So I could never be unable to completely remain away from her; but such was the control I had managed against vampirism. It was about control, this was control… to remain but stay away. I could do that. I would do that.

That was the depth of selfishness in the end. Never completely letting go.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Uhm, I took forever to update this and I apologise. **

**In any case, I have cleared a path for easy manipulation of plot points and such. Hopefully the creative juices will be plentiful.**

**Reviews: suggestions, dislikes, likes and concrit are most welcome…**


	12. A Good Day

**A GOOD DAY**

It's going to be a relatively good day today.

The sun barely makes an appearance in Forks, so when the rays of the morning sunshine filter through her window-she wakes up with a smile on her face. It Saturday and she has over slept. Normally, she would have woken up to the sound of her little brothers squealing and whining for food, her father laughing and humouring their many cute antics at being excited to have him home today-excited to be home after a long week at school.

They have gone for their boy's day out; it entailed soccer, hotdogs and ice-cream.

Hopefully they return home in time for supper, she muses; stretching and peering through the yellow sun-filter. Hopefully they will return home having worked the sugar out of their system and be too tired to fight their way into the bath.

It's going to be a relatively good day today-Angela chants. It has to be because she doesn't want to think about lone beautiful boys with personality disorders and cryptic statements. Today is all about her and her mother-having a heart to heart.

Xx~xx~xX

"... so I have to go to the wedding" Jessica's sighs and Angela imagines the Award Winning facial expression her friends is pulling at the others side of the line; sounding extremely worried about having limited time to do her homework to attend a wedding.

She knows the game-Jess wants her to let her copy her homework. Sometimes she wants to just tell her she can ask directly and not go through this whole act of sighing, puppy dog eyes and calling Angela 'a true Angel'.

It would be easier... to just say "Angela, I am too lazy to squeeze in an hour for homework in the weekend. Won't you let me copy on Monday?"

"Oh, whose wedding is it?" Angela asks, recapping all the conversations she has had with Jessica. She remembered a cousin mentioned.

"My cousin Talia" Jessica sighs wearily "If we weren't so close I would have skipped it for Maths and Physics assignments and maybe attended the dinner..."  
>"Oh, no... You couldn't possibly do that" Angela murmured, twirling the cord of the phone and looking at a darker beige patch on the light beige carpet. She had spilt her coffee there once, when she had called Edward-some people's voices change over the phone, his had remained smooth, if not smoother...<p>

"Yeah, but I have to..." Jessica breathed as though she was willingly sacrificing her life for a weaker victim to the crime that was _homework._

"no, Jess... you can always copy mine on Monday" Angela said smiling a little when Jess exhaled expectantly-she had known Angela would play her role well in the homework dance.

"Oh, you're a true Angel, Angela" Jessica squealed, her previous deathbed voice evaporating "I have to go, bye"

The phone went dead before Angela could say bye back. She wasn't upset or admonished by Jessica's behaviour-this was _Jessica_-she had expected it. That would be the only phone call she would receive unless Mike and Lauren had cousin's who were coincidentally having weddings this weekend too.

Her father badgered her about her friend situation; you have to make friends outside of _Youth_, Angela-that was one of his favourite preaching's. He had met Jessica once and not liked her immediately due to Jessica's inability to not _gossip_. Her father was very easily offended and impressionable-a quality that her two brothers had taken into their personalities intensely.

She always mused that they didn't mind Ben-the one time he had come to her house to drop of her textbook. It was a family quality, her mother had once said. A quality that resided in her father's side and that she was jealous of, Angelica Weber had told her daughter.

She remembered many of the conversations she had with her mother; about life, love and humility. Sometimes it felt those conversations they had been having from her earliest of ages were a living premonition of Angelica's early departure from Angela's life. As if God had put the subconscious instruction in her mother's mind to teach Angela the ways of being a woman under the eyes of the Lord quickly, so her daughter wouldn't be lost in life after her passing.

"It's important to tell a good heart" she could almost hear her mother murmuring while teaching her how to make Shepherds Pie. "A good heart can rest in a dirty encasing sometimes, that's how your father found me. He saw my soul and decided I was worth his time or as he would put it most _poetically-_he knew he would have to be worthy to retrieve my heart"

"I need to be _worthy_ to retrieve your heart" Angela whispered and then giggled embarrassedly-she had been standing in the middle of the little living room when she had chores, daydreaming about princes and maidens.

Xx~xx~xX

She was breaking out again.

It never lasted, her smooth skin. Her mother had beautiful dark olive skin-a lovely result of being Spanish, Angela thought. It didn't take much for her skin to break out; it didn't take much for it to be either oily or too dry. It took a lot to get it to be smooth and being stressed out about English and Art and Ben... and then Edward Cullen had somehow gotten caught up in the mix-now she was back to square one.

She dropped the yellow rag she was using to clean the boys bathroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Large brown eyes-too large. Small nose-off centre. Full lips-cracking. Thin... too thin and her hips looked comical in their wideness on her small frame.

She picked the rag up and wiped the mirror once, before resuming her cleaning without a backward thought on her aesthetics. This was a battle she would never win.

Xx~xx~xX

The house was spotless.

It had started slow, her obsessive need to _clean._ It had started of slow and then it had spiralled and she had only now had it under control. It was easier now when her Bible Study group rotated to her house and they asked her about her sweeping and wiping-her excuse was always at the ready now, she was the mother of the house in some way now. She had to clean. Everyone scooped up her excuse readily, her cooking and cleaning. Some felt sorry for her, she imagined; having to live up to Angelica Weber's very domesticated routine and house managing.

She just liked things to be clean. She liked to clean things and sometimes even fix things. She had learnt recently that it wasn't her duty to fix and clean everything. Sometimes it would control her... it started seeping from beneath their front door and she would find herself taking other peoples mess and problems over as though they were her own and she would end up sitting in her room worrying over more than her own life. Worrying about Mike Newtown's mum not finding her expensive earring to stressing over Fred Gallagher not having studied his test and trying to make study notes for him...

She had dropped her 'bad good habit' until Edward had become her partner in Art but was another story all together.

She liked to clean because it felt like it brought her closer to her mother, everything she dusted in the house was coated in Angelica's memory and touching it and making sure it was kept was the same as making sure her mother was looked after in memory. She would clean the lounge and remember many random things that had passed between her mother and herself. She would sweep the yard and remember attempting gardening with her mother and the way they had both laughed when they realised neither of them had the bravery for bugs and worms to do gardening...

But in truth... a truth she would never reveal to anyone, she cleaned the house thoroughly because the police had forgotten to remove the stain on the carpet after they had removed their crime scene unit from their house. It was easily ignorable due to the odd colour of the rug-the satin over satin colour. So she cleaned it quietly when her father had seen it and ran up stairs crying-that had terrified her, her father was not a very emotionally responsive man. The twins were too young to understand anything. She cleaned the rug without shedding a tear-what was there to cry about. Her mother was gone but it felt like she had only left the visual world to live in her heart. In all their hearts and Angela had done all her crying after her mother had been shot in front of her, after she had called the police and after she had spent fifteen minutes awaiting their arrival kneeling beside her mother and watching the light leave her eyes.

She cleaned the rug quietly and when she found the blood had seeped under the rug and stained the timbre flooring she had cleaned that too. It felt like she needed to continue cleaning to keep the house together, since then.

She knew what day today was and she knew why her father had chosen this day as the 'Boy's Day Out'. But what her father didn't know, was that his 'Boy's Day Out' had turned into Angela's 'Day In With Her Mother' and that was okay too. She liked it very much actually; cleaning and humming and talking to her mother in her _heart_.

So the men who had shot Angelica had rambled on in Spanish and now Angela was thinking of taking on Spanish if only to know. To know why her mother was shot... but the voice in her mind, the one that sounded like Angelica-told her to let it be and live. There is a reason for everything...

It was a good day, it might be the day her mother died but it would never be a bad day. Each of them had somehow decided on that silently. It would never be a bad day...

Angelica might have had died but she was in heaven-and that was something to be celebrated.

Xx~xx~xX

She didn't want to think about next week.

Teenage drama and excitement had always worn her out but it had caught her with this dance and the fact that the girls had to ask the guys to the dance. Teenage drama mingling with her insistent thoughts on the chaos she would be inducing over her peace in taking up Spanish-but she couldn't let that go. It felt like betraying herself to just forget the two men hissing at her mother, pointing their gun at Angelica and indicating she move aside from in front of Angela and do _something..._

Teenage drama... her stomach twisted familiarly when she thought about Ben and it immediately did a hot whoop when Edward's intense gaze fleeted into her mind. Her skin went hot and her palms were sweaty and she could hear his voice telling her all the benefits of being compared to a summer's day.

Her... oily-to-dry-skinned-pimply Angela Weber with the weird body shape. She frowned violently at the television, feeling like she too, had a split personality-this new side of her that was insistently trying to convince her rational side that Edward Cullen spoke to her because he liked her a little more than a friend. That he looked at her with something more warm and sweet compared to his hard reproachful glances at everything to do with Forks High...

And her rational side always countered full swing.

Don't be an idiot, she would sigh. How dare you-a strong intelligent woman-fall into the Edward Mania at Forks High. You know better than that, Angela. You know better... he is out of reach, like all his family-him more so with his good looks.

His good looks, his strong jaw, his lovely wild brownish red hair, intense eyes topped with thick brows, straight nose and lips... and then how his sweaters and t-shirts always seem to be chosen with the intention of causing the eye to wander over his built form...

How dare you Angela Weber become a traitor to your own rationality just because you are a hormonal teenager, you are better than this...! There is nothing wrong with being plain, and you know very well Ben is just the guy for you-Ben is sweet and adorable and doesn't become a cocky know it all at any chance given... he doesn't make fun of you after making you blush when he quotes poems to you... he also doesn't have what appears to be weird family related issues with siblings going out with each other and maybe that is why he is the way he is...

"It's got nothing to do with you and you know you should just leave him be" she muttered, switching the channel from the offensive Day's of Our Lives omnibus to something on gardening.

It was now three in the afternoon and the perfect day had been ruined. She had let the vault open and now she was stressing about Ben and his possible refusal to go to the dance with her and then there was Edward-who she didn't even know why he was taking up space in her mind.

Or maybe she did know but it was safer to be ignorant of the fact and accept a more probable reality with Ben... once she mustered the courage she had in little quantity.

Xx~xx~xX

The day had gone by, and it had been not the best of days but it had not been the worst she concluded. It had just been a day... a day were she had spent reflecting and maybe that was good. Reflecting put everything into perspective and now maybe she had solutions-just like an equation...

She had to do the Spanish Class because she would never be able ever to stop wondering until she just did it and the following week she had to ask Ben to the dance because she liked him. She had to stop wondering about Edward Cullen because he didn't want to be her friend, it had been an assignment, he was way out of her league and she was just causing her self unnecessary headaches.

Reflecting was good and so was a nice hot shower...

"I'm with you...!" she sang as Avril Lavigne blasted her way through the closed but unlocked bathroom door, all the way down the passage from her bedroom. She would never have been allowed to be so inconsiderate with her music if her father was home... this was as close to musical bliss as she would get in the shower.

From a series of ill fated pitches and squeaks she sang away loudly and muffled the sound of the glass siding door being smashed by a rock.

Xx~xx~xX

Today was supposed to be a good day, Lord-Angela thought angrily, desolately.

She was shivering from head to tow, the purple lumpy beach towel wrapped around her tightly and desperately and the man's thick fingers squeezing her shoulder, steering her to her father's bedroom. He was speaking to her in Spanish.

He was saying her mother's name and all she could do was repeat 'I can't understand you' through her chattering teeth-trying not to look at the second man's leering gaze at her still dripping figure under the towel.

They swore loudly, they smashed her father's bedroom which had never had its décor changed since her mother's passing and then proceeded to push and shove her down the stairs. They were looking for something, she realised as the pieces began falling into a weird mosaic like image.

They wanted something from her mother, they had gotten hasty and shot her and now they were back... they were back to get it. They wanted her father too, they thought he had it. Her mother's death was supposed to be a warning... something wasn't right. This had everything to do with Spain...

They spun her around in the little living room and she continued shaking and chattering-trying to remember her prayer to God perfectly and chanting it in her mind.

"Girl..." the thin man murmured. "I guess I will have to send another message to your father"  
>"My father is a man of God" she blurted and the fat man laughed.<p>

"Not _that _father..." the thin man continued "The man your mother ran away with, leaving her husband behind and stealing from him"  
>She stared at him blankly and he frowned, placing the gun at the side of his head-watching her.<p>

"Your father...?" he murmured thoughtfully and then went of Spanish, the fat man muttering in response in regular intervals.

"In any case..." he smiled at her, taking a step forward and not paying attention when Angela's eyes swivelled left to the broken sliding door, where a pale figure stood still in the background of the dark night. "What you don't know..."

"_Leave_" Edward Cullen growled, appearing directly in front of her-between the pointed gun and her shaking body.  
>"Were the fuck...!" the other man exclaimed, jumping and fumbling with his belt-retrieving a glinting thick knife and poising it in front of him.<p>

"Leave" Edward repeated-his voice low and textured and yet still smooth-a stark difference to how she had attempted to not muse about it when he had spoken to her over the phone.

He took a step forward and the man with the gun took one back-terrified. He stared into the pale boy's dark flat eyes and beautiful luminous face and something in him thought of ghosts. And then when the boy began telling him of his thoughts, telling him that he would have to return to Angelica's revengeful vindictive billionaire husband and tell him that the diamonds were not given to Angelica's new husband in secret and the man new nothing of what had transpired in Spain-when the pale fearsome beautiful teenage boy breathed all of this fast and eloquently in perfect Spanish, he dropped the gun to the ground, his eyes wide and terrified.

"You will tell your boss Xavi" the boy murmured in pure Spanish, his stance protective of the girl Xavi wanted dead desperately "That this girl is not Fernando the traitor's daughter, but that of the priest and he will have to go and conduct his revenge on some other relative of Fernando's seeing as how he has already killed Angelica"

"Uh..."

"Leave now!" Edward roared and the man picked the gun up hastily, pulling his accomplice fearsomely by the arm and bolted through the broken door into the night-convinced he had either seen an Archangel prayed upon by the priest or a demon Angelica had sent to protect her daughter.

Xx~xx~xX

"Are you okay" he asked her again through the door.

"No" she muttered, wrapping a scarf around her neck. She wasn't cold-not really-but she felt cold in her bones. "Thank you"  
>He remained quiet but she could see the shadow of his feet from under the door.<p>

"Do you want to call your father?" he asked her.

"No, he... no" she whispered.

Her father... there was a reason she had never told him of the men speaking Spanish when her mother was killed and after the blood stain incident on the rug-after her became an alcoholic for a good portion of those two years and never ever forgave himself... she knew the reason. Her father-as strong as he was in faith-had doubts about her mother _forever._ As much as he had loved Angelica-her father had never gotten over the unclean encasing of her good soul. This would break him and she couldn't-wouldn't-do that to the twins. To herself... he was fixing himself slowly and it was for them...

"We can say it was a burglary" Edward said strongly "We can say I came here to give you notes and the men had thought you were alone and I startled them"

"Yes" Angela breathed, opening the door and staring at the Edward's black expensive trainers-she couldn't look at him. "Yes, I think we should say that..."

Xx~xx~xX

She watched silently as Charlie Swan and her father patted Edward's father's back-no doubt commending him on having such a brave son. Edward was giving a statement to a police officer-his eyes occasionally dancing over to her silent form huddled between her two sleepy brothers, they leaned on either side of her and helped to warm away the cold sensation.

She had been in shock for a good hour of the dealings-never really speaking and only wanting to be with her little brothers. But now that reality had hit... and it stopped feeling like one of her silly daydreams of shining princes rescuing helpless maidens, certain things were popping into her vision.

How had Edward arrived at her house without his car-because Alice Cullen had had to drive the silver Volvo over to help with their fake burglary story? Why had the men been so terrified of Edward Cullen who had no weapon at all to defend him self or her. But all of that got dimmed by the fast Spanish Edward had spoken to the man-murmuring her mother's name repeatedly and the name Xavi.

_Let it be..._ she could hear her mother tell her. _It's the heart that counts and not the encasing..._

Edward would tell her, she decided. She wanted to know why she had had a gun pointed in her face and why her mother was killed.

But her first step would be to learn Spanish.

How better to understand the truth than to understand the language.

Xx~xx~xX

**AUHORS NOTE**

**Okay this just wove itself this way. I seriously almost deleted the whole thing cause of conflicting emotions but I decided to let it be and see the response-so do review; thoughts, concrit, suggestions, dislikes and likes.**

**Tj **


	13. A Complicated Simplicity

It was as simple as staying away.

It was as simple as ignoring her.

It was as simple as not thinking about her.

It was as simple as not talking to her.

When had the most logically simple things ever been... simply simple? Could you fault me for failing dismally at the most reasonably easy instruction one could give out to the body. Could you fault me for breaking and reattaching myself with each time her face flashed over my vision...?

When had pure effortless turned into sinfully exquisite... when in deed, and could I blame it on the seduction of having such restrictions placed over my nature that I was forbidden to reach out and touch a soul... when I personally possessed none.

I wish she would stop staring so insistently at me. Lord, hear me out... I wish she would stop looking at me _that way_-even though her thoughts gave fact that her smouldering gaze was nothing more than her determination to find out about something _dangerous_. To find out about her mother...

Even though I knew this without a doubt to be born out of wanting information about that dreaded night; that single flicker of my gaze across the classroom to her-that singular moment I had passed over the consuming depths of her umber orbs, swimming with a vehemence that was misplaced in her character... That moment when I had met her gaze for what was only a second but felt like a lifetime as she unravelled me, skinned me and burned me with the strength of her innocent vendetta against an unknown force shining freely from her soul through her eyes...

That moment...

She had knocked my breath away with that single look that had lasted a second; I had recoiled, snapped my head back and kept it firmly facing forward to the teachers monotonous dictation of something mildly educational and my lungs had constricted and pushed air out violently through my nose. I had gasped, my hands going forward and clutching the desk, leaving proof that there was something _other_ that sat at the desk with my gouging of the wood.

That moment, that look and I had been hit by a wayward asteroid.

I tried to gulp down the anxiousness I felt but it didn't help that I could see from her mind that she was still watching me. My chest heaved when she contemplated moving quickly across the room and taking the empty seat next to me. My nerves were swimming with hot liquid instead of venom as she noted how ghostly I had seemed standing in the twilight of the day seconds before I had saved her.

I suppose it seemed easy for them; standing at the other side of Angela Weber's inhuman effect on me-because that was surely what it was. It seemed easy to lead her astray, to do damage control when you didn't have the prospect of being drenched in accelerant by a girl's gaze and possibly be set on fire if she murmured your name just right...

Who was I to complain, I had courted this to a greater extent with my lack of control. If she was going to be the first human to kill a vampire single handed with not a single weapon save for those brown eyes, full lips and other _aesthetics_... then so be it. I deserved it to no measure but I would die willingly at her hands-I had saved her.

Surely God would understand-I may be a monster, but I had saved his Angel.

Xx~xx~xX

"I just want to know..." she stressed, clutching her bag furiously, half-walking and half-running to keep up with my fluid gait

"I told you to let it be" I hissed.

"You knew about it" she said, her voice dropping and causing my hand to twitch awkwardly in her direction "You knew, Edward... how would you know"  
>"I... heard them" I said quickly.<p>

"So you were what..." she huffed "Loitering in my yard, hmm?"  
>"Exactly" I murmured. "I was outside, I heard them and..."<br>"And you are good at everything" she said sardonically, her sarcasm cutting at me worse than her stubbornness-I had to end this before we got to the cafeteria. "Edward Cullen, so perfect... of course you would understand Spanish fluently"  
>"Exactly" I murmured darkly, in hell under her desperate cruelty that looked out of place on her delicate exotic face. "You have me pinned, and now you know exactly what happened"<p>

"And why were they frightened of you, hmm?" she demanded "They had a gun and you had..."_your silly perfect hair..._

"I told them I had called the police" I lied "I am surprised that part missed you"  
>"Well..." she scoffed, looking to the side, her face drawn. "Not as observant as I am meant to be, it seems"<br>"Angela, let it go" I whispered desperately, my hand flicking up to her and this time she noticed-staring at it questionably. I retracted it safely into my pocket. "You are safe, they are gone..."  
>"Right" she said and I realised she was on the verge of tears.<p>

"Angela! "Jessica called and Angela peeked unwillingly to her left at Jessica-who came at a standstill in our box of tension. "Hey... uh, Edward..."  
>"Jessica" I said tersely. "Angela, as always... a pleasure"<p>

I left quickly and groaned as Angela's thoughts followed me loud, bubbling and emotional. She was not letting it go. My escape irked her and she would seek me out in the cafeteria as soon as she was done with Jessica.

Xx~xx~xX

I wasn't surprised when my glowering expression replayed four times through my siblings mind. I had no heart and I had begun to accept that fact but Angela seemed to remind me about this insistently. I was anxious and something in my chest was twisting mercilessly, my mind racing with many scenarios that would play out when she managed to dodge Jessica's wanted description of what had happened with the burglars over the weekend.

"What's stuck up your butt?" Emmett asked and I sighed. This was as sympathetic to anyone's feelings as he would get...

"Angela" Alice said mystically and Rosalie scowled.

"I thought you had that taken care of!" she accused, snapping the celery stick with unnecessary force.

"I am trying" I sighed and realised I felt something similar to wanting to cry. It felt hopeless-and it was because what I was trying to do seemed to be the same as murdering something that had come to live and breathe between Angela and I.

It felt now, like they had asked me to go and commit murder.

"No, I meant..."Alice insisted, placing her hand over Rosalie's to steer her away from her on coming rant "Angela is going to come here and make a scene-well, a very _passive_ scene..."

I saw the vision; Angela standing petulantly behind my chair and growling how much of a prick I was while tapping her foot impatiently for me to follow her somewhere and _talk._

"Why does she not find me terrifying!" I groaned "Why do I have to be the one person on God's given planet she can be like that to!"  
>"Be like what?" Jasper asked Alice<p>

"Point of correction, idiot" Rosalie hissed "You are not a person... you are a vampire"  
>"Your as scary as kiddies rollercoaster ride" Emmett scoffed. "Everyone outgrows it"<br>"How is that supportive?" I hissed at him and he raised his hands defensively.

"Challenging" Alice sighed, prodding her vanilla ice-cream "She doesn't find him terrifying like a vampire should be, and that's were the problem is... right, Edward?"  
>"Uh, well-even <em>less<em> intimidating than her peers..." I corrected

"I can fix that for you" Rosalie grinned and I grimaced at how she wanted to twist Alice's vision to Angela leaving our table in tears.

"No" I growled and she raised an eyebrow at my sudden anger. "Pettiness is unbecoming of you, Rose"

"How is that petty"  
>"You know how" I sighed, tapping the side of my head and she froze, her eyes wide.<p>

She hated that Angela could get this out of me when she had failed in her momentary aggressively vain infatuation with me in her earlier years. I shouldn't have done that, I should have left it... I would pay dearly later.

"She just entered the cafeteria" Alice informed. "Jazz... take a bite of your bread or something"  
>"No" Jasper stated, looking petulantly away and Alice sighed, rubbing his leg under the table and he caved "Okay, just one bite..."<br>"That's my soldier!" she chirped "Appearances, everyone..."  
>She would be at the back of my chair in five seconds. I watched her through everyone else's mind-how they mistook her determination as a form of desperation was beyond me...<p>

"Edward" she breathed and I tensed. "I need to talk to you..."  
>"Excuse me" I whispered pushing out of my chair quickly "I'll see you later"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

I followed her quick step, she turned her head abruptly every now and then as she led us to the outside, checking that I was indeed behind her. Could this be the end, I wondered would this be the point when I murdered this living connection in had somehow sprung unwittingly between her and I...

"Edward" she sighed, dropping her bag indifferently on the ground, not turning to face me. "Just... please"  
>"I told you all I heard" I murmured, playing on her thoughts-she could not go to her father with this, she feared what it would do to him.<p>

"You swear?" she turned around then, and if I was not blessed and cursed with telepathy-I would have sworn she knew what her eyes did to me.

"I..." I looked away, I was unable to lie when she held me under her truth revealing gaze "I wouldn't lie to you"

I wouldn't lie to you unless I felt it was imperative. I wouldn't lie to you unless I was trying to save you from the evils of the world, sweet Angela.

"Hmm" she murmured, folding her arms over her chest and toeing the hard ground with her sneakers "Then why do I feel like you are keeping things from me"  
>"It's my nature" I breathed, twisting her thoughts on my own suspicious quietness "You said so yourself once, Angela?"<p>

"Yeah, I meant that differently"

"Well, it applies here" I sighed "Trust me when I say... what transpired at your house wont help you with your future or your past"  
>"They killed my mother"<br>"They are dangerous men Angela" I said seriously "They would not stop there... with your mother, to get what they want"  
>"But..."<br>"Wont you trust me on this?" I implored, something about garnering this one thing from her filling me with warmth "Trust me Angela..."  
>"It's not easy..." she whispered and I saw from her mind she meant letting the matter go and not the trusting me part. Thankfully and regretfully not the trusting part...<p>

"They took her away from me" she breathed, gazing at the ground once and when she looked up, her eyes were shining with moisture-tears that disarmed me. I watched grimly hypnotised as one liquid crystal broke the rim of her eye and escaped in a glittering trail down her cheek.

She sniffled once and wiped the tear violently away and looked away from me-at a group seated on garden benches staring at 'Edward Cullen' talking to someone either than his siblings.

"She is..." I stopped, I had no idea how to go about comforting her and Angela looked up at me, an eyebrow raised delicately.

"I am okay" she whispered and then chuckled lightly "You don't have to pop a vessel trying to figure out what to do"  
>"I have never seen a girl cry" I blurted and she looked at me incredulously. "I mean..."<br>I mean I have never seen a girl cry because vampires have no liquid that has purpose towards human habits. Tears and bodily fluid, sweat... I had never seen a woman cry but seeing Angela do a very brief version of this made me instantly violently angry towards those goons.

"Oh" I sighed, listening as the bell went of. "Bell"

"Bell... huh" she sighed making no move to pick her bag up. "You should go"

"Don't you mean _we_ should go?" I asked her and she laughed.

"I don't even know why I came to school today" she said softly "I feel a bit... under the weather"

"Understandably" I said watching as the cafeteria emptied "But you cannot possibly plan on waiting out in the garden?"  
>"No, I can't" she sighed. "And I am no good at bunking lessons..."<p>

"You've never done it?"

"Nope" she giggled. "Don't tell me you have, you've never been in detention!"  
>"The trick is to not get caught" I chuckled, riding some intense high at pulling her away from brooding "Let me show you how it's done" <p>

Xx~xx~xX

It was too late to realise how awry the plan sketched out for me had gone. It was too late for me to rectify things or to even _care_ to rectify things. It was fairly easy to convince Angela to move over the lawn calmly and not worry about being seen. Every two seconds she contemplated giving up on our escape plan and every two seconds I contemplated scooping her up in my arms and hurrying the slow stumbling trekking over the ground. It was strangely exhilarating in the end; I hated moving human slow and pretending to not be a fluid dexterous being was worse... but her giggling and laughing allowed me to trip twice and stumble once.

"You skive in the forest" she said in awe and confusion. "Well, no one will catch you in here! But how you manage to move over the grounds unnoticed every time..."  
>It's a lot easier when your moving like a rocket and not pretending to have two left feet...<p>

"It takes time to perfect that art" I grinned and she blushed-my face reflecting in her mind as something hypnotically beautiful. I frowned. How easy it was to forget one was a vampire when pretending to fall...

"Uh..." she stuttered "I don't think you would have managed to convince me of this if I had my eight hours of sleep"  
>"I am very good a persuasion" I said grimly and her heart skipped and stammered before resuming its rhythm a little faster. I had led her to the forest...<p>

How much of a villain was I planning on being! Of all the places, the forest... noble intentions to begin with but there was no ignoring the fact that in this human shape I was and would for ever be a monster and that monster in me was what had filtered into my consciousness and brought about this perfect scenario for an easily accessible crime...

"You having second thoughts?" she asked gnawing her lip and wringing her hands "I mean... I never do stuff like this and well... second thoughts are normal right"  
>"Entirely" I breathed "If you are uncomfortable, we can go back"<br>"Hmm" she muttered, looking away with a frown on her face. She didn't want detention on her perfect record because she had been feeling daring with Edward Cullen... was that what I brought out in her? _Daringness..._

Daringness from being in the vicinity of the ultimate predator...

"Your absurd" I breathed and she quirked her eyebrow. "I mean... we are this far. If the forest is cold for you..."  
>"Cold for me!" she challenged, taking a rather aggressive step towards me "What about you, you're the one who insists on coming to school underdressed..."<p>

"No wonder you miss so many days" she continued her random ranting, startling me when she reached her hand forward and tugged lightly on my thin sweater, her fingers brushing over it lightly and the heat from them sending a concentrated spike of electricity to my chest when her touch left me. "

"I don't get sick" I stated smiling at her slight motherly tenor.

"Oh, I get it" she scoffed half-heartedly "Your Dad is a doctor so how could you"  
>"Exactly" I laughed at how she always gave me my excuses when I slipped up.<p>

An awkward silence fell over us; she stared anxiously out to the side of the school and imagined all the teachers emerging with blood hounds to sniff her out and bring her back to her classes. I watched her inappropriately, even when her thoughts reflected that my gaze made her skin tingle...

"Uhm" I coughed "We could go and sit in..."  
>Bad idea. Her scent would be left lingering in every molecule of the Volvo.<p>

"Your car?" she finished, pulling her arm over her form and shuddering slightly "It is a bit nippy"  
>take her to the car and get caught or keep her out here in the forest and possibly evade Alice's vision but make her turn blue...<p>

"I left my keys with Emmett" I lied.

"He is the tall one?" she asked.

"No, the big one" I said absently, tugging my sweater slowly up and over my head-I had never removed the thing in the presence of a human and doing it slow felt strange. She watched me as inappropriately as I had watched her lip gnawing and I paused abruptly, the sweater covering my head from her view but her thoughts were enough for me to see... she stared at the pallid flesh exposed with the movement-the skin of my abdomen between my pants and slightly raised shirt and took note that the hair there was a darker shade of bronze...

"Uh, here..." I took the sweater of quickly-almost too fast and practically shoved it in her hands, taking a cautious step back from her surprised gaze "Wear that, I don't want you catching a chill"

"Hmm" she murmured putting my sweater on quickly and shuddering lightly when it was on. It would be freezing coming of me. "Won't you be cold now?"  
>"Don't worry about me"<br>"I cannot _not _worry about you Edward" she said dryly "When you have just given me your sweater and are now in a shirt"  
>"I promise you I am fine, Angela" I said unable to hide my smile at her stubborn concern.<p>

"Well, at least..." she spun around looking for something for us to sit on and then exhaled when she saw a moss covered log. "We can sit on that"  
>"We can" I said watching her closely, wondering how my sweater which was too large on her somehow seemed to look... appealing...<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"So anyway, that was what I remembered of her" she sighed tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear absently. She had decided to use my sweater as an odd sort of blanket over our laps to 'spread the warmth'-even though the distracting closeness we had sitting on the log was heating up my entire left side tantalizingly.

"I don't remember much of my own mother" I murmured "Except that I looked like her"  
>"She must have been very beautiful" Angela said smiling a little.<p>

"Yes... she was" I breathed-I had only one photo of her, a family photo with her sitting elegantly in front of my father and I.

"Dr Cullen seems... really nice" she said.

"He is... an amazing... man" I whispered "Very compassionate and wise beyond his years"

"You seem..." she trailed of trying to find the right way of putting it "Disciplined... well, no..."  
>"You mean in a house full of adopted teenagers I came out okay?" I asked laughing and she nodded shyly.<p>

"We are all very level headed" I sighed and then chuckled "Rosalie most of the time..."  
>"She gave me a death glare" Angela squeaked "When I was approaching your table, I almost turned around..."<br>"You are very brave then because not many survive her 'death glare'" I said but my insides prickled at Rosalie's somewhat expected behaviour.

"She is very beautiful" Angela murmured. "You all are"

"Thank you" I said stiffly. "The bell has gone..."

"Oh" she looked up around us in a daze as I got up. "Your sweater Edward!"  
>"Please..." I murmured "Keep it?"<br>"But..."  
>"I have to rush, they don't like waiting" I said moving through the trees towards the car park. "I'll..."<br>"I'll see you around, Edward "Angela sighed chuckling a little...

_He can be so strange, so wonderfully strange..._

I closed my eyes as I walked away. She had to keep the sweater, it had her scent all over it. I only needed my solid titanium memory of her to survive for now... no slip ups.


	14. Magnetic

Such a sensory mind; the colours so beautiful and vivid and breathtaking. Green merging into shimmering metallic crest before the vast picture plane of the hue quivered and reformed itself to a porous shade of jade. Her interpretation of a tranquil cool perfect tree, the romanticized bark an umber rough yet precious surface with dancing grass blades around it. There are other trees around it, it is the emerald isthmus of Forks no doubt but somehow this one tree has caught her attention. It has caught my attention too, and I watch it with her… her vision moving away from it like a well learned camera; zooming away, the tree standing further from her and now she casts her attentions to a stream.

Water moving so slow, hypnotizing us both as we stand as apparitions to the wonders of this faultless version of nature-sprayed like jewels on a velvet green bed. The crystal liquid seems so thick, much thicker than water- like clear blood flowing through the vein moving between the earth-flesh of the peninsula. We stare at it, through it-this liquid precious veil moving through the hard grove of the earth-and see the smooth onyx stones rolling at the bottom. Dancing so freely, and with them are honey stones glittering ambitiously through the diamond water…

"Ah, so beautiful" she whispered and I want to tell her I agree but I know she wont hear me. If she did hear me, if she did hear me through the sound of such heavenly peaceful love of nature-then I would be pulling her away from heaven to the reality of hell. Whether she knew I was there with her in this Eden; an Eve oblivious to Adam-or was I the serpent in such deformation…

I had to remain anonymous. This was not for me…

But then she raised her head, and from where I stood quietly and unheard beside her-I squinted through the thick air of the wild garden, how odd to squint when one had telescopic vision-I peered through the slowly rising fog of the stream and were she sighed with lustrous eagerness…. I gasped.

I wasn't supposed to be in this garden with her. I was the anomaly here, and standing beside her in her gown that was indiscernible because I was seeing it through her perspective _in it…_

I was anonymous and this was not for me…

But there I stood ethereal as I was birthed into this malformed life by my father. There I was, watching her and taking no notice to my other self-the conscious other self gazing through the vision like a man in a cinema would gaze at the unsuspecting actors. She watched me with bated breath; the once clear blue sky chased away into darkest navy with those sprinkled lights shining too largely above her to be stars.

"So beautiful" she said again, gazing freely at the spectre across her. Did she not understand that the glowing pale man standing opposite her with the diamond stream between them was a demon? Run, sweet Angela… I wanted to instruct her, from where I stood beside her-inside her, with her. We stood staring recklessly in awe at my form interpreted by her-moonlit man with flaming metallic hair and eyes wide and glowing, piercing the night and pinning her to the velvet ground.

"Comet to me" she whispered to the strange inhuman being dressed loosely in my aesthetics. "Edward… come"

The man-the me, this _Edward_-he shook his head slightly, his hair moving in the still air like wild bronze fire. She reached out her hand past us-it was our hand really in this perspective-caramel paleness but she took no notice of this the way I did.

"Please, Edward..!" she begged desperately, moving impulsively to the edge of the stream and were her gown touched the water, tipped into the liquid-smoke rose. Like it was liquid fire flowing in the stream. She stopped and groaned, the impostor me pacing across and speaking inaudible to us.

"I need you to be on this side!" she cried and he shook his head vehemently, his lips moving but the words lost at the other side of the stream. "Come to me, I want you…"

I stopped breathing altogether. My lungs momentarily protesting-a nanosecond reaction reminiscent of lost humanness.

This Edward fell under the spell of such a husky declaration from her, this Edward had no fear of its nature because under the pearl in the sky… it was no monster like I was, but some fallen angel. It moved over the water, freely momentarily but then… that torrent of diamond membrane moving as the stream swallowed it.

"No!" she screamed, her hand reaching out to him-to me-and mine to her, but it was done. I was in the middle of the burning stream on fire and still trying desperately to get to her.

"Do you understand now?" the Edward told her and she sobbed, falling to her knees by the side and watching as he sank, the smoke rising around him as he burned. "Angela, do you understand?"

"But I want you" she whimpered "I need you…"

"I'll burn if I come to you" it told her, its head the only thing left "And you'll burn if you come to me"

"But why?!" she protested desperately and before the water moved over the dimming bronze hair and swallowed me away from my sights, he told her:

"It is sin what you want…" and he died.

"It is sin to want you" she finished and the sweet garden turned to darkness, swallowing everything and throwing it into a sort of warm abyss.

X~x~X

I took in a shaking breath, leaning away from the wall, still unable to look away from her sleeping form on the bed. I was breathing fast, I realized. Hard and laboured but she wouldn't hear it. Her scent swirled in the room, the slight tint of her sweat mingling with it; she was under the covers, wrapped up in a cocoon… her dreams had made her toss and turn and I watched dazed as she groaned lightly and muttered inconsequential sounds in accordance to the unforgettable dream.

I moved from the wall and walked over to her bed, touching the blanket lightly. It was soft. I smoothed it carefully, reaching to the tip of her little cocoon and tugged lightly, loosening it from her delicate steel grasp and peeled a few inches open so the air could circulate lightly. She wiggled and her lips parted. They were so full. She was so exquisite in her humanness. I was so hopeless and pathetic in my demon form.

All the smells here were so well kept, I realized. This wasn't just about her scent… humans, they all had wondrous scents to some levels and vampires could be biased in simple petty things as 'like' to pass over any human. Most humans, the majority of the race… were not particularly hygienic. Their scents would mingle with their other odours from lack of proper sanitization.

She had taken her beloved shower, used her Strawberry body scrub this evening, cleaned her hair with cherry scented shampoo, used some simple lotion on her skin that didn't mingle too much with her natural caramel loveliness… and her clothes were always fresh and clean with some equally refreshing fabric softener. I had never worried too much about domestics and the like, nor was I about to-but I realized that since her mother was taken from her, she tended to over do it a bit. She was a clean person, overly so to some extent… tidy and appreciated a routine… something about her reminded me slightly of Esme. Or was it my human mother…

She snorted lightly, the dream long over and however permanent it was in my mind, it was long forgotten in her subconscious. I smiled a little at the involuntary action-everything she did seemed to be laced in cute goodness.

Would I leave the window open? It was a rather warmish night for Forks standards… but I didn't want her catching a chill. And like my wanton addiction to her that had led me to scale her house once more, I thought of waiting outside her window till she woke in the morning to make sure she didn't get too cold.

But I had to leave…

This was unhealthy, disturbed and somehow so wonderful.

I left her, running through the woods freely, not giving a damn for any questions waiting me when I got home… and trying futilely to not think on the sound of her dream-self begging for me to cross the burning stream. Begging me to come to her, wanting me…

Xx~xx~xX

Sometimes she sits in class thinking about me. Thinking about me while I am thinking about her and listening to her thinking about me... such a round about pathetic heaven I have found myself in. Today is one of those days. I have moved to the back of the class, away from her vision; unless she braves prying her eyes from the front of the class to a counter direction at the back and then risk having the teacher call her out on such an obvious move.

And just like today is one of those days that she is thinking about me, while I am thinking about her-she decided to cast me a few not so surreptitious glances all the way at the back of the class. It's a difficult thing to do because she has to turn her body to get a visual.

At first she worries that I have missed school; having not seen my car today (we came in Emmett's Jeep after I lied that I wanted to go hunting alone after school-I would be following her throughout the cold day in actual truth. It was proving increasingly difficult to not have her in my sights).

She spots my hair behind Jimmy Grant; I am leaning on my arm on the desk. I look deliberately outside-to the brief sunshine shining lazily from the skies and the clouds rolling over each other. In two day's time this unseasoned warmness would be banished and give way to rain, winds and snow.

She thinks my hair is more golden today, than brownish red. 'Like it is tipped in sunlight' she thinks. I smile, she notices and I smooth the abrupt tingling from my lips and continue looking to the outside in fake forlornness.

What she is noticing is nothing really; it is so easy to call my hair a bronze shade. Everyone assumes it so; the colour is in fact too weird even in its reddish quality. Like my genes couldn't make up their mind on whether I should have been a brunette, a redhead or blonde and then just opted to combine each other.

She disregards her musings on my looks quickly and looks forward again, trying to catch were she last left the teacher. It lasts a minute, she looks back again and I look away quickly-she thinks I might have been looking at her. I smile, she notices-I look desolately at my book and frown.

It's a cat and mouse game and I am loving every second of it.

She starts thinking on thoughts I had prayed hadn't set root in her mind; she wonders on my paleness, she wonders if I have ever sunbathed and then wonders abruptly if I have been to the beach. She wonders if I would go to the beach with her... I want to go to the beach so suddenly, it seems for a moment I would get up and excuse myself from the classroom with reason being I had to go to the beach.

"It's a matter of life and death" I imagine saying to the teacher and I laugh out loud, startling poor Jimmy who rolls his eyes.

_Cullen is a nutter_, he thinks. You have no idea, Jimmy.

She wonders about the day I had saved her, one of her favourite musings and my worst ones because she has been wondering increasingly on how I had moved to the front of her so fast and how beautiful I had seemed in the dimming light of day standing in the shards of her sliding door.

She is staring, my skin is frozen and heating up-I am thinking of her dream, lava is a wild torrent in my veins.

_Come to me, I want you..._ her low husky voice murmurs, over and over again and I start fidgeting. First I pick up my pen; I place it down after staring at it in confusion. She is still staring. I pick the pen up again and scribble a whole page on the notes being dictated before they leave the teachers mouth and then place it down again. She is still staring. The teacher has noticed she isn't paying attention to the board.

I flip my gaze up to her; I meet her intense stare and burn up alive (or dead, I suppose one could still burn up in death) and gulp. 'Watch out' I mouth, cocking my head forward seconds before the teacher calls her name out and she rights herself in her seat and smiles sheepishly at the teacher-who decides to drop his reprimanding in favour of a stern stare.

That burning up sensation was becoming addictive. I shouldn't court it so much, I knew-but the odd terrifying effect it had on me had turned me into its aficionado; like I was destroyed and resurrected, like she was hiding me from the world and yet her eyes could see through my marble skin and through me. What a feeling... and it felt childish to be so enraptured by it; like I was an infant and gazing on something shiny. I was afraid I was becoming some overzealous devotee to this sensation...

I wasn't a child for heavens sakes! In my day I had been a man (this was the part I ignored the memory of my human mother telling me otherwise when I wanted to go of to war). I had a century of knowledge, how dare she turn me into a _child._ How dare she seduce me with this drug so unwittingly and petulantly torture me with such limited dosage. How dare... how dare you Angela!

I had vampires across the world pining for my brilliant talented mind to join their prestigious Guard and here you have me, sweet Angela wondering on inconsequential things and wasting such acumen away; wondering foolishly if your gaze could heat me up and melt me like I was made of butter and not hard resilient marble, then what of your touch?

How dare she turn me into a child. How dare she turn me to this... this child, I was a man and a well knowledged man at that! Angela, a child of all the things...? I am not a child... I am not a... teenage boy so filled with hormones!

The disgrace...

Xx~xx~xX

"What's crawled up your..."  
>"Shut it" I hissed at Emmett and he laughed.<p>

"You know Carlisle and Alice told us to leave you be with this nerd-girl thing" he said quickly, thinking on how I had been both tensed and worked up since Angela joined our Spanish class. She wasn't working on our advanced lessons but was being given an altogether separate lesson by the teacher.

There were no beginner Spanish classes available and she had begged most effectively for something. And here she was, writing furiously and mimicking pronunciations from the tape player she was listening to.

"I don't get it" he said finally "Rosalie doesn't get it"

I wanted to tell him how the love of his life couldn't fathom not being wanted as she had wrapped her worth in that one thing from her human life. But that would be just cruel...

"It feels like I have a ghost following me" I whispered to him and he rolled his eyes, thinking I was being melodramatic "No, you don't understand... it feels like she is this ethereal spectre and I am the only one who sees this. Every time I look at her..."

"You get a hard on?" he blurted grinning and I frowned at him.

"I was going to say a chill"

"Same thing"

"No, its not" I hissed and he laughed, shuffling his books on the table.

"Trust you to describe lust in such a despairing manner" Emmett chuckled "I suppose... she may be human but she is a girl"

"It isn't lust" I groaned "You have it all wrong!"

"Do I now?" he was enjoying this. "It can only be two three things brother"

_Lust, love or blood._

"Neither" I hiss. "Pay attention least you fail"  
>"Because I haven't done this shit before" he growled, paying attention regardless.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"Edward!" she yelled-a soft sound that wasn't noticeable to anyone who wasn't perpetually attuned to her.

"Seriously dude..." Emmett whispered, we continued to walk away from the Spanish class, ignoring Angela's calls "I still don't get it"  
>"There is nothing to get" I hissed, her voice stuttering over my name as she began to half jog towards us.<p>

"You like her, I think" Emmett frowned, comparing my reaction to how I behaved with Tanya and a select few other females that I had encountered.

"If I did-which I am not saying I do..." I said quickly ignoring his mental eye rolling "It would be pointless and abominable"

"So if you did like her, what would you say your reasons were?" he asked, coming to a halt-we would allow her to catch up to us. She was far of behind the slow trudging mass of children.

"I..." her eyes, _those eyes_... her lips, her eyelashes, her neck, her caramel silk covered clavicle-should I go bellow the neck... "It would be her amazing personality"

"Right" he snorted.

"Didn't you like Rosalie because of her ambition and... what's a better way to describe 'Self Entitled Bitch'?"

"That's my wife" he growled "And don't be so naïve, Rose has an amazing ass to boob ratio. She is visually perfect"

"Are we agreeing that she is not character perfect?" I grinned and he narrowed his lips.

"We are men" he said seriously "We are visual creatures and it would be wise for you not to fool yourself that your little human holds your 'mental attention' and 'emotional attention' first most. Those things come second, and especially for a hundred year old virgin..."  
>"Do shut up" I snapped "My mother raised a gentleman, I'll have you know!"<br>"Question is does your mother know she raised _a gay gentleman,_ then?" he grinned widely, walking off as Angela reached our too low bantering. "I'll see you... after your hunting expedition"

_Try to catch something with a little more meat on it-remember; Boob to Ass ratio, she is bouncy down bellow but up top seems a bit level..._

I was tempted to growl at him but instead I glared at his boisterous form charging through the human's to the cafeteria. To his perfect Rose.

Xx~xx~xX

"I was wondering..." she said quickly, smiling through her flustered face. I hadn't realised that we really were moving so fast and she had to exert herself so... "Would you help me with my Spanish?"  
>"Hello" I stated and she blushed.<p>

"Sorry, it's..." she spluttered, looking behind me for a long gone Emmett "I thought I was... you were walking so fast and... well, I didn't want to keep you waiting"

"I thought you were _dropping_ it" I said coldly and she frowned, folding her arms over her chest with her file held tightly in her grip.

"I am..." she lied and then added mentally that she wanted an excuse amongst other things to be near me.

"It's just... I don't really know the others in the class and they are kind of intimidating!" she laughed nervously after I froze, just staring.

"Ben... Ben is in the Beginners Spanish" I stated, the words tasted like bile "Ask _him_"  
>"Who better to teach me than the best Spanish student" she countered easily, her eyes covered with that determination that I was somehow always the only being privy to.<p>

"Angela... I don't want to nurture your dreams of revenge"

"Who said I had dreams of revenge" she scowled "Assumptions are dangerous Edward"

"So what made you _assume_ I would be eager to spend an hour a day teaching Spanish?"

_Because you and I have an amazing time when we are alone? _"Uh... I was counting on your humanity to help an 'A' student remain an 'A' student; I have scholarships to worry about"

"You shouldn't have _assumed_ that because your mother is Spanish the language would come to you so quickly" I said coolly, adding mentally that she had assumed way too much with regards to my humanity anyway "You've bitten off more than you can chew, there Angela. Stop while you still can..."  
>"No" she said dryly cocking an eyebrow "And don't think I can't tell you are doing your 'I don't want to be friends with you' dance!"<p>

"Angela..." I droned, looking to the cafeteria longingly; I was nervous with no reason, I was terrified where there was no threat and hypnotised where there was no enchantress. At least, she didn't seem so much like an enchantress in her oversized black sweater...

"Okay, look... maybe you are right; Ben could help me with the Spanish" she conceded, gnawing her lip-this girl knew, she had to know that that lip gnawing of hers was some kind of weapon against vampires. This was only trivial high school problems; I had witnessed them in countless schools through minds and observations. Little problems with social order, tutoring... infatuation and the like, and in those countless instances hadn't I watched them with a self-righteous air of superiority to such inconsequential nuisances to every day living.

Now standing in front of her, feeling guilty and like the worst kind of criminal for knowing her secret dreams and sharing in them-for having crept in her room... standing in front of Angela as she tried to source through her thoughts and come up with a reason for us 'hanging out'; I understood how those petty problems could seem like the end of the world if they were not solved.

"Argh!" she groaned, watching as Mike Newton's group sauntered past us, not bothering to pretend to not be suspicious of our forms a few feet from the entrance of the cafeteria "Look, I like talking to you... it's nice. I don't really have a... real friend and..."  
>"I am no friend to you" I whispered<p>

"You are trying _so hard_ to not be" she raised an eyebrow and did her side pout-I had missed that.

I wanted to talk to her about her dream but obviously there was no way of approaching that subject. I wanted to tell her that this was the river she was asking me to cross. And I knew how wrong her dream was because I _could_ cross it unharmed, but she... oh, she would be the one to burn in the diamond liquid if she willingly courted monsters to be her friends.

But then she didn't know I was a monster. She thought she was saving us both by risking the waters. Saving us from loneliness in a dark enchanted forest...

"Angela" I said intensely, praying somehow I could convey this image to her; that she was the lost maiden in a forest crying out to wolves and demons for company "Please, I really am not a friend to you... I am no good at..."  
>"Bull" she said abruptly and her hand went flying over her mouth, her eyes wide. I quirked an eyebrow at that but she refused to remove her hand... already apologising to the heavens for such unlady like behaviour.<p>

"Will you let me explain it to you as best as I can?" I asked and she nodded behind her hand-covered mouth. "Okay, then..."

"I am best alone" I told her "Even with my own... family and uhm, relatives... I am best alone. Think of them as difficult people to live with, to get along with who have ancient troubles... I am worse. I am terribly worse. I am so used to living in the safety of my mind that I don't know how _not to_ be alone"

_Let me teach you_, she whispered in her mind and I sighed-holding onto the quivering and shuddering her words had caused inside me so it would not spill into proclamations to the heavens that I did believe finally. I did believe there was a God-for how could she exist so perfectly before me if not for some pure form of ethereal limitless spirit had created her in its image?

"Skive with me again?" she asked suddenly and I sighed.

"No"

"Please..." she begged and I frowned-so many things I wanted to tell her, to warn her. Never beg for anything from me Angela, its damn near impossible not to give in...

"Angela... please, I really mean it" I whispered and she wondered on the hurt 'hanging out with her' seemed to cause me. "I want to, I do... talking to you is incredible. I just..."

"Okay" she said-she lied about her agreement, this perfect child of God "Let this be the last time then?"

"I don't think that's a good idea" I said.

Funny, I didn't want to spend any time with her as she stood before me conscious... but let the sun go down and her bedroom light switch off... and I am there in the shadows pining over her sleeping form. This was trivial complications and I didn't know how to deal with them. In all my years, this had brought me down to something primitive and simple and so complex that it was fragmented in each section... damn near comparable to weaning of human blood in my self-isolated years from Carlisle...

"Won't you let me be the one to decide this idea's moral value?" she asked sheepishly "I promise I won't make you do anything illegal"

"This is illegal" I whispered too fast and low for her to hear.

"Our last escape from the confines of this Educational Institution" she chuckled "...and I can take you home"

"Huh?"

"I saw your car wasn't in the car park and I heard Lauren say something about seeing your brother's big Jeep?"  
>"I can make my own way home" I said.<p>

"I didn't say you couldn't!" she laughed "Now, are you going to predict the bell going this time, or do I have to check my watch?"  
>"Five more minutes" I grinned uncontrolled and she smiled back.<p>

"I don't need anything from the cafeteria, do you?"

"No" I said.

"Good, let's go" she charged through the half deserted hallway and I followed her, turning the corner to the inside doors that led to an open outside area.

"Please tell me you hadn't actively planned this" I said quickly to her.

"Of course I had!" she laughed "I just didn't expect you to break so easily!"  
>I could only imagine the discussion on the Cullen table in the cafeteria...<p>

Xx~xx~xX

The forest was not as troublesome as the last time.

We talked; she talked and I evaded like the telepath I was. There was no heated unknown fear like the last time, although I was still very aware I was alone with her and that my every fibre was attuned to her still.

It was silly and wonderful; allowing a child to cloud decades of sound logic with nothing but a smile and lip-biting as her weapons. My ego wouldn't let up; a voice at the back of my mind constantly berating me for such pathetic conduct... but she had turned me into a child hadn't she? I pouted in the corner of my mind and covered my ears to all the facts and logic thrown my way and followed her all too willingly as she got lost trying to find the same log we had sat on before...

Talking non stop about her little brothers, her father and her Youth at church.

"Oh, maybe the log..."

"Ran away?" I finished and she blushed.

"I was going to say grew into a tree" she finished and I swallowed my 'I know' down.

"Will you let me lead?" I asked her and she frowned.

"What do you know about hiking Edward!" she demanded and I laughed.

She blushed again and froze. I froze with her; watching grimly from her mind as she was lost in the clear waves of my preternatural voice. I coughed once and looked away from her. I wanted to tell her so many things; first and fore most, Angela... if we are going to 'hang out', don't let my vampire nature get in the way of things. And I promise to not let your perfect eyes and smile disrupt my judgment so much...

_If her perfect eyes stopped disrupting your judgment, _the reprimanding voice of reason said scathingly in my mind, _then we wouldn't be here at all!_

"Do you go hiking?" she asked-stammered, pushing her glasses up her delicate lightly freckled nose-her freckles were too light for anyone to really see them. I was making her nervous now in my abrupt change in mood; she feared she had offended me.

"Yes, but you knew that already" I said.

"Why would I know that?"  
>"Everyone knows my family and I go hiking regularly"<p>

"Well, sorry Mr Perfectly Popular..." she snapped "I don't concern myself with the Cullen News so much"

"The point here is I can find the log" I said dryly and she huffed.

"Then lead the way, Mr Perfect!" she waved her hand forward for me to go, looking at me expectantly.

"That's not very Christian like behaviour" I told her and she snorted a laugh but remained quiet, musing at how irritated I got when she called me 'Mr Perfect'. That would be the way the humans saw me, perfect... that would be how they saw all of us. 'Perfect Cullen's'-but I knew this already... I jus didn't think she had bothered to pay attention to it too.

"I am not perfect" I said unable to let it slide even though I knew it gave her a tiny bit of glee that she could grate me so. "There is the log"

"Sure you are not" she sighed, placing her bag on the log. "Why is it always so cold in this part"

"The trees are taller here" I said softly and she shuddered, readjusting her scarf around her neck.

"I don't think you are perfect entirely" she said and I looked at her to elaborate. "I mean, you have a rather bad temper..."  
>"No I don't" I said quickly and she raised her eyebrow. "Well, you have a bad temper too"<p>

"No I don't" she said quickly and I laughed. "Well, you irritate me sometimes"  
>"You irritate me too" I countered.<p>

"How?!" she laughed.

"Why do you behave so differently with me?" I asked her and she frowned delicately, looking at a distant moss covered rock.

"I don't know.."

"You know what I mean" I cut her.

"I don't know!" she mumbled, folding he arms over her chest defensively "You remind me of... my little brothers"  
>"I remind you of your little brothers?"<br>"Yeah... like, when..." she gulped and let out a shaky breath-still not looking at me "When my mum died. They were so difficult. They would be quiet and pensive, you know... in the way no child should be and then they would act out. They would be stubborn with no cause and then disarm you by being perfect angels..."

"I see" I sat down on the log slowly. "Is that why you want to hang out with me Angela? You want to comfort me from... whatever I am going through?"

"No" she whispered and I waited patiently for her to word out her thoughts. "I just... feel like I know you, you know?"  
>"No, I don't know"<br>"Oh, come on, you have never felt like that about someone?" she asked.

"Do you feel like that about Ben?" I whispered to her abruptly and her eyes went wide, the colour leaving her cheeks.

"Why would you ask me...?" she drifted of and looked away from me, thinking about the day we did our project together and she had practically run of with Ben.

"You like him" I stated "A lot"

"Yes" she said softly "But we are friends... and the feeling... is different. I do know Ben, we grew up together. I don't know what your favourite colour is Edward..."

I gulped when she said my name, focusing my vision on the same rock she was staring at and trying to see it through her eyes. The simple beauty of it...

"... but because I feel like I know you" she finished "I bet I can guess"

"Guess, then" I commanded and she laughed.

"It would be so easy to say blue because you always wear something blue on you" she sighed "But I think it's..."

She looked up at me, her eyes meeting mine and the world wobbled in her head. Her thoughts froze-that dreaded confusing freezing human minds did when they were intoxicated by our scent-and I looked away, breaking the compelling drawing of my dreaded eyes.

"Uhm..." she lost her train of thought and blushed again-cherry caramel cheeks giving of a lovely sweet decadent scent. "I..."  
>"It's brown" I stated and she looked back at me confused. "I know it isn't a common colour but it happened pretty recently"<p>

"Mine is..." _Bronze, uhm... gold..._ "It's..."  
>"Purple" I said for her and she stared at her hands confused by what she was feeling. Fictional emotions, the moment I gave her space and she was away from my intoxicating presence she would remember how irritating I was...<p>

"How do you know that?" she asked smiling a little.

Your bedroom, your teddy bear... those adorable pyjamas you wear with the brown teddy bear print...

"Your bracelet" I said instead, reaching for her hand and touching the purple bracelet briefly. "You always wear it"

"You noticed that?" she asked.

"My favourite colour used to be green" I mused, overriding her comment. "My mother's eyes were green..."  
>"Your real mother?"<br>"Yes" I whispered. My own eyes had been green too.

We sat in silence. A soft quietness between us, her thoughts thinking on her mother and how much we had in common. She thought of Ben and stopped quickly; thinking how strange it was to be terrified of Ben emotionally but able to challenge 'Perfect Edward Cullen' with such ease.

"The Bell" I told her.

"Am I still taking you home?" she asked

"No" I said. "I think I'll linger a little longer"

Xx~xx~xX

It would be safe to think she was reaching out to me because of her own ominous life. It was safe to think I couldn't just walk away from this because for all of my immortal life I had been alone to some degree and my human life...

I was looking for a safe haven to this precious endangered connection that Angela and I had. Such a delicate weak thing; it wouldn't take much to murder it like I was supposed to... just walking in the opposite direction really. Not indulging her when she came to me... it wouldn't take much to strangle it and stop it from ever breathing.

The lights were on through out the house; her brother's singing 'Hakuna Matata' at the top of their fine young voices as she prepared them for their bath. They were excited-after the bath they would get to watch Lion King. She was struggling to calm them but enjoying their laughter. I tried to remove the odd little smile playing at the corner of my lips as she managed to get the younger twin in the water; watching from all three of their minds the bright bathroom and enjoying their carefree emotions.

"Hey!" Angela squealed when the elder twin splashed water onto her cheekily. I grinned as he prepared another attack on her hair. "I'll tell Dad when he gets home!"  
>"We will be asleep by then!" the other little boy giggled at her weightless threat.<p>

She got them clean eventually, her whole front was wet with the ordeal and she had to change. I concentrated on the little boys thoughts while she quickly went to her bedroom; they liked day's like these when they were alone with their sister and she took care of them as only she knew how to.

The movie was playing and they were snuggled at her sides. My phone rang, it was Alice. I switched it off quickly, in time to see Angela lift the first little boy with a little exertion and lead the still awake slightly taller twin up the stairs. They had managed to stay until Nala and Simba went back to Pride Rock with their two unlikely friends. This was a stretch, according to Angela; they normally dozed of right after the Hakuna Matata part.

Xx~xx~xX

She took her shower and I listened to her beautiful off-key rendition of an Avril Lavigne song she had out on repeat. She was in the shower for over thirty minutes; she picked Cherry body scrub today and Peach shampoo.

This was wrong, heavens, this was wrong! Had his ever been done in all the millennia's vampires had walked the earth? Feet move, walk away-in the opposite direction, please! I wasn't perverted, I prayed. This wasn't some weird fixation... it was warped and confusing but something about it felt pure.

She hadn't thought about me so much-Ben had received a phone call from her that I was jealous of but nothing could be done about that.

Her light went off and was about to scale the side of the house when I realised her thoughts were still very much active. I had crossed the lawn half way. I peered up, expecting the light to turn on but it remained of. The twins were fast asleep, her father wasn't coming home anytime soon.

She wasn't planning on sleeping just yet.

_I really shouldn't..._ she thought and I frowned in confusion. Her thoughts were a flurry of nervous jitters.

_I shouldn't..._ she thought again but she let her hand rest on her chest, grazing her... she shivered a little when her hand brushed over the sensitive nipple. I gulped and looked back to the forest. Once the sensation of her deliberate brush escaped through her body, she knew she shouldn't but she would.

She thought of water, a beach and soft sands laying naked there. I was breathing hard and heavy while she kept her breath controlled, her hand trailing her stomach-it felt so soft through her mind. The scene warped to the library. There was no detail-her mind was human and covered everything in a base of books and shelving. She touched her abdomen, her ears alert to any sounds that may be a door opening or footsteps. My own senses in their superior intensity were amplified and I could hear the breath escaping me desperately and anticipating. I was frozen in the middle of their lawn and I thanked the heavens there was no moonlight to unveil me here...

A spectre with a heaving chest, head cocked up in the direction of a sweet girl stirring sin with her innocence.

She grazed her curly soft hair. She strayed from the image of the library and I groaned-she wondered if she should try shaving. She diverted from that heady fantasy to include a torturous wayward thought to visit the drug store tomorrow for blades... oh, Angela...

She sighed. She combed her pubic hair lightly with her fingers and thought about the library again. I tensed. She was in the library-her fingers touched the base of the opening. She was standing alone, leaning against a tall shelve with her eyes closed-she made one brave firm rub down through hot softness and I moaned at the sensation she felt. The images began to play faster; her eyes were closed and she felt his presence with her in the empty library. He was with her and she had been waiting like countless times. He stood in front of her; he was so close she could smell him...

What would he smell like, she wondered and then disregarded the thought rubbing furiously while I locked my muscles to stop myself from... Argh, I didn't know what I would do. I knew and I didn't know at the same time, it was chaos and my pants had begun to strain terribly.

I needed to leave.

Her eyes opened and staring into her eyes as he rubbed against her throbbing centre with his own hard need was Ben. I had to leave... they kissed passionately, she bit her lip as she watched her visions and I groaned again-this hurt in so many exquisite ways.

I needed to leave... this was private and this was what I had feared I would turn into... I needed to leave...

Her eyes were closed again, both sets in her mind and body as he rubbed on her centre hot and hard and asked her if she wanted him to feel her up. She groaned and her other hand reached for her breast and began to knead while her fantasies played out.

I made a step back and her mental eyes opened; she was staring into honey gold eyes. I froze, expecting her to freeze with me-that was an invading image, surely? But she continued; golden eyes, pale face and everything changed. I picked her up roughly, I growled in her ear that I was going to enter her and fill her up so beautifully she would forget her name. Her hands roved my naked shirt-a little voice in her mind laughed over her chaotic steadily wild shudders that it would be funny if I entered the library naked. She wanted me to... she wasn't upset I was there with her doing those thing. Oh God, I wanted to do those tings to her...

I spun her around, she gripped the shelving as I lifted her dress to her waist. Enter me, she begged. Touch me, she groaned. Love me, she moaned...

And I ran. I ran in the opposite direction, my nerves on fire as her mental voice and soft cry somehow remained in my earshot as I sped away. Or had I imagined it too...

Xx~xx~xX

The hunt was...

"Argh!" I spat out tufts of fur from my mouth, wiping the spilt blood from mouth. I was still breathing hard.

The lion was mangled, bones protruding sickly from the ribs and its head had been bent too far back. Like a new born, I had broken so many of its bones and found myself half naked with my shirt torn up. Like a new born I was still carrying all those emotions from Angela's fantasy and I had an erection still. My breath came out laboured and shaking as I exerted my lungs to banish the deluded scent of Angela I had constructed while she groaned and moaned for me... how sweet...

"No!" I yelled into the forest, but my hands had undone he button of my jeans, hovering over the zip. It was out and I was stroking.

One pull was her hot mouth, another turned into that memory of her smooth stomach and a fifteenth lingering stroke was her little dainty hands. I tried futilely to save grace in her image-keeping her far away from my self gratification and not playing into the fact she had allowed me into her most intimate moment. She was human, she had hormones and I was a vampire...

"Ngh" I moaned. It was her eyes staring at me with that disarming intensity and her voice husky and droning begging for me to 'Love Her'. Oh, what I would give to cross the burning stream...

It was done with hard growls and snarls leaving my chest. It was done all over the forest floor in a debauched scene of careless needs and wants mixed together with the evil of my nature that was blood. It was done.

I moved away from the scene, still hot and burning and ran to the stream in a confusing need. I needed to wash it all away, I needed to cleanse my self of the little image in the back of my mind of spinning her over and 'filling her' so beautifully.

How grateful I was that I didn't need to breathe. I entered the waters and sank, my lungs filling with water uncomfortably and banished the memory of her smell and taste in the air from my mouth and nose.

Xx~xx~xX

"Edward!" Esme breathed, opening my bedroom door. I had entered through the window, thinking they would leave me alone if I did so... but of course, my mother wouldn't do such a thing. "Why are you wet...!"

"I took a swim" I sighed.

"Oh, no..." she entered fully and touched my hair.

"You ruined the shirt" Alice breathed. "And the phone"

"I apologise" I said. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to change and leave immediately...

"We accept" Alice smiled.

_She was in the meadow with you... well, she will be in the meadow with you. See how happy you are?_

"Your vision is wrong!" I snarled and Esme exited the room swiftly.

"So why take a swim with your clothes on..." Alice said smugly-the way she spoke when she had managed to hide something crucial from me from her mind "Unless you wanted to wash of her scent"  
>"What are you talking about you pixie!"<br>"You would go to her room and help..." Alice murmured and I went rigid, her interpretation of how things had ended with... Angela.

"I didn't" I said my mouth dry.

"You..." she frowned "Argh, that would have been so much better"  
>"Help how" I looked at the image of me entering her room and holding her in my arms. It faded at the edges. There was no conclusion-it was easy to forget that Alice's gift was not always accurate nor did it show every possible turn of events.<p>

"I guess..." Alice smiled "It will live another day, this fantasy!"

**Author's note:**

**Long over due, but I hope the nice length makes up for that.**

**Remember to review, thoughts suggestions likes and dislikes.**


	15. A Case of Curious Cancer

**A CASE OF CURIOUS CANCER**

**Xx~xx~xX**

"Angela!"

"Argh..." she groaned overwhelmed, slumping over the table and pouting childishly-her lower lip jutting out and held firm. She twisted a lock of her hair free from were it had been tucked behind her ear and let the motion pull a curtain of rich dark brown silk to hide her face from Jessica.

"Angie!" Jessica persisted and I smiled behind my copy of Science Today. _I hate it when she calls me Angie..._ Angela groaned internally. I was somewhat grateful for Jessica at this very moment-the past ten minutes since Angela had arrived to her place on our English table had been unpleasant.

But of course, any negative emotion when it came to Angela was always juxtaposed by something intensely pleasurable; unpleasantly nerve-wracking in the most addictive manner. Something similar to running over hot coals... or going on a rollercoaster ride. That fear, that dreaded fear was worth that jostling exhilaration right at its peak...

But there was the underlying unpleasantness, contradictory and working on my conscious heavily. I didn't want to be this way, but it felt like opening my mouth would cause me to give my self away, to confess to all my sins; I had stood under your window, Angela... and uhm, heard you... seen into your mind and now I am a distracted vampire...

Two words had been said and she had been the owner of them. 'Hello, Edward' she had chirped in her cheery Monday morning glory and I had come under attack with verbal imprisonment and managed a head nod. She huffed then and took her place, deciding she wasn't up to indulging my 'sulkiness' every time it reared its gorgeous head.

"Angie!" Jessica pleaded "Come on, five minutes!"

"Angie, I thing it's important" I braved uneasily and when she looked at me with an annoyed gaze, I felt my eyes widen-saw them widen rather comically in her mind and I looked away quickly. Such illogic fear, she couldn't see into my mind. She couldn't delve into the 'telepaths' mind and uncover every shame and brilliance...

She huffed at me and pushed out of the desk violently, stomping off to Jessica (who was waiting to barrage her with plea's to ask me out-on behalf of her). I inhaled finally, her lingering scent burning through my nose and awakening my sweet sinful memory that I had conjured during that particular night she was supposed to be asleep-and yet lay awake having lucid dreams and thrumming places that could implode worlds...

This, I had known would happen. I had known I would be hit full force with memories and my own wild imaginations (to my credit, I had tried not to let my mind stray to such... I may be a vampire, but the coating of my form remained forever more seventeen and my ego was awoken to that begrudgingly on that past night).

"Uhm, I will try" she told Jessica unwillingly, forcing herself not to frown-and I had to laugh at how it seemed all the frowns she did want to give the world, ended up being dumped on me. Silly brave girl saving her insolence for a monster...

She dragged her feet all he way back, a grey cloud following her and my insides twisted. She didn't want to be doing this and it seems she was caught between a rock and a hard place. She had agreed to speak to me on behalf of both Jessica and Lauren; they had annoyed her and grated her into compliance because she and I had done a project together and she had been seen numerous occasions enjoying a dialogue with me.

And now she wished she hadn't spoken to me ever... it was a weightless wish thankfully and I was grateful because if this is what Jessica and Lauren might have brought out of her, I would surely have done something despicable to them both!

"Edward" she grumbled, sitting still and praying the teacher would arrive-we had sub, Leah Clearwater yet again. So either way she would have to speak to me about this...

"Yes" I smiled at her patiently, watching as Leah Clearwater entered the class in her stumbling-fearful gait, throwing herself into the teachers chair at the front of the class and immediately revealing a large book and hiding behind it. No one noticed that an 'Authority Figure' was in our midst and the classroom remained abuzz with chatter.

"So..." Angela began and then closed her eyes, removing her glasses from their comfortable position on her nose and placing them deliberately in front of her. "How are you?"  
>"Fine"<p>

"Really?"

"Really..." I said then decided-because this was Angela and she was _absurd _to the highest-to sniffle lightly and rub my nose "I had a cold during the weekend"

"Oh, no..." she shook her head "Colds are not good"  
>"Yes, their phlegmy and icky" I chuckled.<br>"The Dance is coming up"  
>"Which one?" I said in fake surprise keeping my conversational tone from turning dry and aggravated, she cocked her eyebrow up and I wished she would put her glasses on. I had a strong urge to hand them to her, or better yet-put them on for her. It was like staring at the sun without the pretence sunglasses shielding it "No, I really don't know. They come up with so many of them, you know. Fishing to give us something to do..."<br>"The Spring one" she said trying to keep her face from twisting into a frown "The one were the girls ask the boys"  
>"Oh, maybe that's why I don't know about it?" I chuckled "I would have remembered that if I was gong to have to worry about asking someone"<br>"Like you would have asked someone?" she snorted and I kept my expression neutral.

"Anyway, Jessica and Lauren both sort of like you" she said-a statement. I remained silent to that, opting to stare at a wayward lock of her hair-she hadn't done her trademark pony and something about it fanning her face haphazardly made her look intimidating. "Actually, all the girls like you"  
>"Does that include you?" I said quickly and it was her turn to have comically wide eyes. I felt slightly better at this, like I had some measure of defence against her control on my nerves. Maybe that's what it had felt like to her, maybe I had missed it... I hoped it was. Almost so desperately that when she said:<p>

"This isn't about me" in a pitch riddled voice, her thoughts fluttering to unintelligible emotions and confusions, my nerves shot up tenfold and sent a million volts through my veins, pushing past the venom to form my new life force.

"Right" I murmured, determined to return to what her role played in 'All the girls liking me', especially since I was only really concerned with one girl. The rest of the masses could go jump off a cliff, for all I cared.

"Uhm, erm..." the tables had turned and it was her struggling with nerves in the spotlight of my gaze but I was unrelenting. I had a certain psychic who had promised me a picnic trip with this beautiful girl... "So about Jessica and Lauren and well, the Spring..."  
>"No" I said tersely.<p>

"No?" she asked dumbfounded, biting her lip now. I wanted to press my finger on her supple lower lip and free it from the oppression of her teeth, possibly reprimand her for damaging such celestial property...

"No" I said, folding my arms expectantly over my chest and waiting for her to arrange her defences on why I should go with either Jessica or Lauren to this inconsequential dance.

Fighting away a smile on my face, I listened intently as she gave the prequel to her case in her mind. She didn't want to be sitting here doing this... especially for Jessica. Or Lauren. But Angela being Angela-she squashed the slight resentment that had been gnawing at her centre since the two girls had hounded her to talk to her previous 'Project Partner'.

"You see..." she tried again and I shook my head mouthing 'No'. That grated her short temper-or was it more accurate to say her short temper belonged solely to me, since that temper was only ever delivered to me...

"You can't very well go alone!" she hissed, grabbing a fist full of her hair and staring at me incredulously, wondering why I made it a talent to annoy her. "Just go with one of them-pick, already! Or take someone other so they can all leave me well alone! I am not the Edward Cullen sales representative!" she finished, huffing.

"If you were, my sales representative" I grinned, overriding the shameful tingling working through me as her increased breathing remind me of inappropriate guilt ridden treasured thoughts... "Your customer care is atrocious... yelling at a customer like that..."

"Wh..." she thought about laughing but her anger was still ripe "It's just like you to want me to beg!" she poked my arm roughly-the soft nudge leaving heat on my arm and feeding the shameful tingling.

"I really don't know what you want from me, Angela" I smiled at her.

"I want you to pick someone to take to the Dance!" she frowned.

"You didn't ask me the most important question?"  
>"What!" she groaned.<p>

"Am I even going to the dance?" I raised an eyebrow and she stared at me blankly. "Well? Jessica and Lauren's mouth piece, are you going to ask me that?"

"You are unbearable" she groaned. "Well?"  
>"Well what?"<br>"Are you going to the dance, Edward!?"

"No, I am not"  
>"Why didn't you just... Argh, you know what... those girls and then you..." she ranted, her face flushing in a lovely pale cherry tint.<p>

"Are you going with Ben?" I asked her suddenly and she paused her anger, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"Why are you asking me that?" she whispered hurried.

"I noticed you... you speak to him" I said controlled "A lot and... you do a lot of things with him. You go to Youth with him" I shouldn't have known that-said that...

"I invited you to Youth too" she countered, finally picking up her glasses and putting them back on.

"Yes, you did"

"And you never showed up"

"No I didn't" I said grimly, as much as I was bordering on atheism, I couldn't snuff out God-more especially the God who was Carlisle's God-so thoroughly by entering into his holy place, in this evil form.

"Why aren't you going to the Dance?" she asked.

"You didn't answer my question" I persisted "Are you going with Ben"  
>"I told you, girls have to ask"<br>"Are you going to ask him"  
><em>I can't... I can't... he wont ever... and I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. There is you, but I am just another Edward Fan girl... and Ben is for me... and he doesn't see me. His eyes are closed...<em>

Fuck Ben and his closed eyes "I was going hiking over the weekend, on the day of the Dance"

"Oh, with your brothers"  
>"I was hoping I could go with someone... interesting this time" I said smiling a little. "I was hoping I could ask this one person, and they would say yes"<br>Her eyes widened.

"I was hoping I could ask you, Angela..." I told her softly "And I was hoping you would say yes"  
>"But the Dance?!"<br>"We could dance when we get there" I said "And this place, the place we will go too... it will have the perfect setting. You would want to dance forever..."

"I, uh..." heart beat raised, palms sweaty and vision blurring. I was the impostor to her symptoms but I was sure if I were human I would be sharing them too.

"Please say yes" I begged her. "Please, Angela... we can have our own literal spring dance?"

"But Jessica and Lauren..." she was overwhelmed and I was fissuring "Then Ben..."  
>"He doesn't see you as clearly and wholly as I do!" I said-I growled, so angry at Ben suddenly that I was grateful he wasn't in our English class. "And those girls have been nothing but trouble to your self-esteem; why, if I had my way, I would be the only friend and admirer you would ever need!"<p>

I couldn't stop-vaguely aware I had crossed so many lines, challenged so many delusions and undone all my arrogance... I was bordering on sounding obsessed and deranged, if I had not crossed that threshold already...

"I do want to be friends..." I tried softly when her thoughts were a chaotic dance of my voice "I know what I said before and my actions may have been contradictory as well and maybe you read me completely wrong at times. But I want to be your friend, I want to be the one who knows that your favourite colour is purple and you like gummy bears-the red ones..."  
>"Okay" she stopped me, staring straight into my eyes. I was heaving, my breath coming out hard.<p>

"Okay?"  
>"Okay" she smiled softly, her heart fluttering beautifully. She didn't understand what I was telling her, or maybe she was in awe. "Just... next time, when you are going through all this" she waved a hand at my frazzled form "Just come out with it so I don't think you are some snobbish prince of Neverland"<br>"Neverland?" I gasped but she smiled ruefully.

"Peter Pan, Edward" she chuckled, completely lost on my fears of her mentioning Neverland to an immortally beautiful boy.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"It is hiking, Rose..." I sighed, driving the Volvo steadily along the wet road as she ranted and raved behind me, thoughts scathing and ferocious. "It isn't like I am whisking her up in my arms and running through the woods"  
>"It better not be!" Rosalie snarled.<p>

"I'll pick her up in Emmett..."  
>"Why should I let my husband's car partake in this idiocy?" she snorted.<p>

"Because it's your husbands car and not yours" Emmett sighed. _You better make up for this, Ed..._

"Don't call me Ed"  
>"Whatever" he chuckled.<em> I am going without sex; I just know it... so make up for it good.<em>

"Fine!" Rosalie fell back into her seat, and ended her tirade with a heated hiss.

The vision was playing out, and I had never known it could be obtained without tainting her past being in the presence of a demon. I didn't want to think about that, demons and immortals, mortals and death...

All I could do, right now... was drown in the bliss of her eyes on my face while I unravelled in the most juvenile manner. There was no doubt about it, no girl in the world was for me... no immortal either... it was only you, for so long sweet Angela.

"Why are you smiling?" Alice touched my shoulder from behind my seat. She knew, of course... but she was a nosy individual.

"The world is not so bad, after all" I chuckled.

"You must have a darling Angel watching over you..."  
>"I know exactly what you two are talking about so you can just shut it!" Rosalie roared.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

It wasn't so much as preparing my self for Angela's private Spring Dance as it was preparing for the _journey_ there.

But I had all week to muse on that singular torturous affair of moving human slow through lush clean forestry and having the droning sounds of the earth to trumpet my displeasure. I could be over thinking it; I doubted there would be anything boring about my hike with Angela...

I hoped there wouldn't be?

Was it so stupid and childish for a telepath to worry about conversational topics?

"I mean... you will be alone with her!" Jasper drawled "Alone Edward... with her... a human" and with a youthfulness that was unlike Jasper's overly serious personality, he puckered his lips and strained his features before rasping "_Bloooood"_

"Thank you, Mr Whitlock, for the voice of confidence!" I snapped, flinging the ball awkwardly to the left-deliberately missing Emmett by eighty degrees so he would now have to go retrieve the ball before he could add his own useless advice. We were in a loose circle-Jasper and Emmett and my self-and the gymnasium was abuzz with the sound of mental and external chatter and balls bouncing around. Jasper and Emmett had a free period and had decided to come over to my PE class and irk me.

Emmett due to Rosalie's sour mood and Jasper due to Alice's happy mood-my sister's influence on my brother's terrified me at times. They didn't need to say much to turn them into mindless zombies... the power of sex. Like a drug, they feared never obtaining their next fix. This was why Emmett tended to be my favourite, how many times had I caused him to miss out on a dose of Rosalie...?

"So what are you going to do with her?" Emmett asked waving at the coach and tossing the ball into my expectant hands. The coach was always trying to get Emmett to join the football team, so he was willing to allow the two seniors to gatecrash PE.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked frowning at his thoughts "How can you think I will sit her up on a rock and draw her? She isn't a doll because she is human!"

"But what are you going to _do_ with her?" Jasper asked, frowning, trying to understand me and only coming up to the conclusion that Emmett's theory was highly possible.

"Talk..." I murmured and then remembered the part about it being Angela and my self's private Dance... So there would be dancing to be done. Dancing with Angela, the thought made the monster side of me purr with badly hidden pleasure. Her body would have to be close to mine, the heat of it warming my skin to something vaguely lifelike, her soft hand...

"You punctured the ball, you idiot!" Jasper hissed, frowning and I realised the whooshing sound I had been hearing in the background of my mind was the ball deflating.

"Argh, cheap things" I mumbled surveying the orange flabby rubber. "See, Made in China-I doubt they coated the inner tube in titanium"

"Everything is made in China" Jasper sighed.  
>"Funny, now we have no ball to throw around" Emmett grumbled.<p>

"Like you were enjoying it" I rolled my eyes.

"But..." Jasper shushed Emmett with a raised impatient hand "What are you going to do with the human girl?"  
>"I am not going to eat her, that's for sure!" I snapped "I am taking her hiking. We are going to my meadow and then I will take her home after. There is nothing complicated about that"<br>"What could you possibly have to talk about?" Jasper frowned "How could you even concentrate..."

"I can, Jasper" I was marginally irritated by his pessimism by now "I just can!"

"Okay, don't get your knickers in a-"Emmett began and I laughed.

"That's only delivered with precision when Carlisle does it" I chuckled.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Are you sure we wont get lost?" she asked, closing the Jeep door tentatively and giving me a dubious look.

"It amazes me how little trust you have in me, Angela" I signalled for her to hurry over to the mouth of the trail. Trust... she had too much trust in me, in fact. But then again, she didn't know I was a monster.

"Why are you frowning, is it that long?" she said, peering into the thinner trees around the trail.

"It wont be so long since you brought your hiking boots?" I chuckled, looking at her sneakers-purple, white and pink. "Is that Barbie's face I see on the side?"  
>"They were the only size that fits" she said self consciously-lying. Her brothers had bought them for her for her past birthday, anticipating her excitement and being the perfect older sister... she had squealed with surprise and chagrin.<p>

They insisted she wear them today when she told them she was going hiking with a 'friend'. I was frowning again and she noticed.

"You got something against Barbie, Ken?" she challenged and I shook my head clear of the implausible offence the word 'friend' caused in me.

"Nope, not me... Does that make you Barbie?" I asked and she blushed red-the reddest I had ever seen her light caramel honey skin take in.

_Me? Barbie... you Ken and... uhm, wow. Erm..._

"Your shoes aren't very 'hike' friendly" she deflected coyly, pointing at my black Gucci sneakers. "Are those..."  
>"Plain old sneakers" I muttered quickly "Come on, I anticipate a lot of falling down on your part... we need to set aside time for that"<p>

"Cocky?" she scoffed, charging ahead and turning so swiftly, her back twisting elegantly and hair waving with the motion-I stopped breathing immediately even though the wind was not assaulting her scent towards me "Well, I bet I can bring you down to size" 

You already have brought me down to size... aren't we here? Aren't you walking ahead of me, happy and carefree and wrenching at a stone cold and still heart with soft tender fingers?

"I never place a bet I don't have confidence of winning" I laughed.

"So it's a bet?"  
>"I humbly decline"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"...she must have been ferocious!" she breathed a little exerted, her heart beat had picked up but that was normal. It kept a steady raised pace. She stumbled again and I frowned from behind her-her arms stretched out to somehow help with her atrocious balance (I may have been biased on this conclusion of her balance with my being a vampire, but to my defence; she had tripped, stumbled and almost fallen a total of thirty-three times and it had only been the first ten minutes).

"Yes, I do think so too" I agreed rushing ahead and silently leading her back to the easily perceivable trail-she was now adamantly pushing past a bush to go to God knows were...

"To run all the way from Spain..." she sang, carefully avoiding the part of her mother running with her lover and her biological father "What an Adventuress! I wish I was like her, none of this boring, plain and bland..." she droned out, frowning while I stared at the sheen of sweat glistening on her forehead and the lovely rose petals on her cheeks.

"You are adventurous?" I offered laughing "Aren't we here in these woods?"  
>"I bet we are lost" she said, looking about her "Yep, we are definitely lost"<br>"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"That bush..." she pointed at a small shrub "I have seen it before"  
>"No you haven't"<br>"Trust me, Edward..." I do trust you, Angela... "We passed that bush" but not when it comes to direction.

"How many times have you been hiking?"

"Uh..."  
>"Exactly, now... continue straight and stop trying to push your way through anything. The trail has no trees or obstructions-that is your first lesson in hiking. Clear paths..."<p>

"Cocky..." the rest she droned out in heated mutterings, casting me a sullen look while stomping up and then tumbling a few feet forward-never falling. I followed her willingly enough, trying not to irk her with an on coming chortle-no surprise that she wanted to lead and bully _me_ out of my predatory tracker common sense...

"Do you think about your father?" she asked-it had been thirty minutes and I had had to pour a bit of water onto my hand and wipe my forehead-artificial sweat. "I mean... your real one"

This had been working up in her mind. The talk about her mother would have naturally lead to this and I had been patiently listening to her conflicted musings; she wanted to take my advice and let things go, but at the same time... curiosity was like cancer in her.

"I think I told you I don't really remember much about my biological parents?"

"Come on!" she twirled ahead, walking backwards in front of me and causing a fearful lump to form in my throat. She would fall and as though she heard me, she staggered (such was the result of walking backwards on Mother Nature's ramp way) and I lurched forward but she righted herself before I had the pleasure of catching her.

A patient smile spread on her lips, dazzling me thoroughly that I responded by grinning goofily at her-only she thought it was a _lovely smile._ A real smile...

"Well...?" she raised an eyebrow and I sighed.

"My father... I have his height"

"Like you are that tall!" she shook her head thinking on Emmett and Jasper. That was just coincidence that my brothers were the same height and taller than I, respectfully. Carlisle was only just slightly shorter.

"Hmm" I smiled at her, my hand twitching towards her as she leaped-stumbled a few more paces behind, her hands flailing comically to keep from turning the motion into a rolling-down-the-hill type of fall "You are going to jump-start my heart! Could you walk like a normal person?"

"What, are you a zombie?" she scoffed and then added cheekily, planning on tackling me into stumbling and ruining my fluid trekking beside her "And what makes you the poster boy of normal?"

I took a casual step to the side as she giggled and rocked forward towards me. She was momentarily shocked when her advance was met with air and I had to catch her by the hood of her jacket before the surprise could cause her to fall completely on the ground. She laughed, the sound igniting the void in my chest with sparks-there she goes jump starting a zombie's heart-and playfully flung my hand away.

"How come you are so..." she wanted to say gracious, but opted for "Steady"  
>"I watch where I am going as opposed to walking backwards... in a forest"<br>"Try it!" she challenged "You might actually have fun?"

"Is this something you picked up from your brothers?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Maybe..." she said mystically "Turn around, Edward. Turn around and we'll walk backwards through the woods, together"  
>And only because she didn't say my name enough times, did I comply. It was simple for me, having already scanned a few feet of out path. She cast me a few spirited glances, waiting for me to fall and after a minute I indulged her and 'tripped'.<p>

"This is hazardous, Angie" I teased and her lips pursed together in annoyance. We resumed walking like 'normal folk'.

"Angela" she corrected with finality.

"What's wrong with Angie?"  
>"It rhymes with Mangy"<p>

"Oh, don't be like that Angie...!" I chuckled.

"No variations please, Eddie" she said threateningly and I sobered up immediately.

"Okay..." I smiled "For now..."

Xx~xx~xX

We took a diverging path in the end, and it was here that I really did fear I would end up scooping her in my arms and rushing to my meadow. Her stumbling got worse through the weaving this forest-but her carefree laughs stopped me from taking them any more serious than I had already begun to.

"I think..." she wheezed, shooing my offer of water "We are badly dressed for a Spring Affair?"  
>"Some tribes danced..." I stopped, useful bit of information that was. We didn't belong to old tribes or pagan rituals of naked dancing in spring showers... thankfully...<p>

She didn't bother asking me to continue. After an hour added to our thirty minutes, we had arrived. She halted abruptly, her hand hovering in the air from after she had shooed my water bottle.

"Wow" she managed, taking a tentative step forward. "This is... beautiful"  
>"Yes" I murmured as she stepped through the shade of the pine trees and passed a smoky patch of light, her skin glistening more beautifully than any diamond skin striking demon. "Beautiful"<br>"Did you find this place alone?" she asked, smiling-moving away from the unveiling sun ray.

"Yes"  
>"All by yourself?"<br>"I spend a lot of time here..." I murmured, moving carefully-like I had been doing the whole journey-into the shade. "I did plant a few plants..." I pointed at a carpet of purple and white, which could barely be called 'a few' more than it could be called a few million...

"They really spread" she said in awe "And the grass?"

"All natural" I murmured, deciding that mentioning how I would meticulously keep the meadow floor weed free would be a tad suspicious.  
>"I won't ever doubt your hiking skills" she said playfully-but her tone was still astonished. She took a few more steps inside the meadow, scanning the perimeter bordered by thick pine trees so high up that there was more shade than light at this time of day.<p>

"It's where I come to think..." I told her softly, watching her move through shade and light-beauty revealed and beauty seducing. To think about you, as it where-but that may be a tad bit suspicious too.

She felt my unwavering gaze on her and refused to acknowledge it-keeping her sights safely on everything else; trees and rocks, shrubs growing wild berries and various natural oddities.

"Do you like it?" I asked her

"I... love it" she whispered "It's perfect"

"Those yellow plants over on that bush only grow in spring" I told her and she shuddered-my voice ringing in her ears seemed more lovely than the birds singing in the distance. Not so close to us, as they knew even if she didn't that there was a predator here...

"It's lovely" she said shyly, now fully aware of how alone we were with nothing but the fleeting butterflies-such troublesome insects drawn to the saccharine scent of vampires-floating about us, the trees swaying in an emerald dance and the sun pushing over them.

"My..." she breathed turning around and braving facing me. She watched as four butterflies floated about me in the cool shade, my form standing still as they danced unreservedly and hypnotically-mesmerised by my scent. I looked quite the vision to her; not so much an anomaly in this most tranquil of natural dreams-dressed in a sky blue shirt and dark jeans and my skin glowing like some lost pearl from the bottom of the ocean. "You are beautiful"  
>"So are you" I said hoarsely, equally entranced by her standing in the stray splattering ray of sunlight, hair a mystical fountain of bronzed chocolate and skin golden and silken... such wide doe like eyes staring at me, her heart beating so beautiful I willed the sounds around us to quiet so I could hear it moving in this world... and those despicable Barbie sneakers redeemed by the goddess standing in them.<p>

She blushed, and the dream turned into an intoxicating fairytale-rose petal cheeks imposed on the glossy surface of lush velvety caramel. I was vaguely aware I was breathing fast because I was too caught up in the alluring motion of her chest. It felt like there was something to be done, some formality... as she stared unabashedly into my eyes and I bore into hers and drowned in liquid brown.

"I think we should dance?" I announced and she smiled bemused.

"There is no music?"

"I can take care of that..." I took a step forward and paused, the spotlight from the heavens lighting her up was keeping me from her. I reached out my hand to lure her away from the light, and she smiled slightly... moving into the shadows. Towards me.

My hand would be cold. I wanted to retract it as it stood misshapen in its whiteness awaiting for hers to be trapped in it. But my own curiosity was cancer, I wanted to feel her hand... and I was certain, to some degree, that she wouldn't demand I put a glove on.

"You're so cold" she laughed but held onto me anyway. I controlled myself as her heat seeped into me, moving her further away from the sunlight, dangerously closer to me in the shade.

"Yes, I am" I murmured smiling self consciously at her. "But you are so warm"  
>"Hmm" she glanced at the lovely contrast of our hands then back at me "Don't be shy to tell me if I am sweating all over you?"<br>"I don't mind you sweating all over me..." I paused abruptly and laughed our banter away dismissively but she turned bright red regardless, the air filling with her scent in decadent waves and with the electricity of both our little blunders. It would be entirely flimsy that such a casual fumbling of words could threaten our innocent heaven, seducing out of her the memory of the fantasy-library and out of me something raw and difficult to control.

I navigated my hand cautiously around her, preferring to study her eyebrows than to be held prisoner by her restless gaze-her anticipation of my hand on the small of her back causing my mind to work itself into a frenzied panic. Humans were lucky when it came to emotions; I had nerves, I was terrified but I had no release. I wished desperately my hand would shake as it found her dip, that it would tremble and she would know I was as terrified as she was at this new advance in our 'friendship'. That she wasn't alone in chanting in her thoughts that this was a friendly dance when somehow it felt like we had indeed taken it upon ourselves to perform the ancient Spring Dance and removed our clothes to dance naked and wild in the meadow like Pagan idiots.

"I don't know how to dance" she announced and I chuckled.

"Do you know how to move?"  
>"Yes"<br>"Then you know how to dance" I finished, stirring her timidly to the left, gazing over her head as she stared insistently at my shoes-afraid to stomp me. Stomp away Angela, till there is nothing but dust...

_Left right..._ she chanted, and her concentration eased some of the awkward tension away.

"What is that..." she asked-peering up at me "That tune you are humming?"  
>"Its something I had written for Esme, my mother" I said absently.<p>

"Written?" she asked-frowning in confusion and I kept my face neutral. I had become too relaxed, and this was what both Rose and Jazz feared-slip ups. But none was worse than rambling like an idiot about being a Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart in the making... "Aren't there lyrics?" she asked.

"It's a... I play the piano" I said and she smiled thoughtfully. _Of course he plays the piano..._

"It's lovely" she added after her awe-struck thoughts. I nodded my thanks and she huddled closer to me, my hand instinctively holding her slightly tighter-maintaining enough distance so she wouldn't be in a cold embrace with a vampire.

_So lovely, perfect..._ she mused. I panicked as she deliberately moved forward, surely she would be cold? She would be cold but it would be strange if I refused the motion, it would easily be misinterpreted as something else... as though I wanted her at arms length literally or...

She rested her head on my chest and removed her hand from mine, weaving her arms around me to lock on my lower back. I froze. She was holding me, hugging me and thinking how _nice_ this was. How safe she felt. I had stopped breathing. She hadn't noticed. I had stopped moving. She hadn't noticed. My instincts were in overdrive, her scents memory playing in quick slides over my relatively quenched thirst but the monster in me growled regardless, always greedy...

"You are so cold" she mumbled, unaware that she was holding a statue "Always so cold, Edward..." I let a breathe escape then, it came out as a sigh-sounding almost contented. Lowering my hands carefully, I returned her 'hug'. "Don't stop the music, DJ" she murmured, sounding sleepy and I resumed an awkward rendition of 'True Love', composed for Esme and Carlisle Cullen coupled with equally awkward side-swaying.

_This is wrong... Jessica and Lauren will skin me! _I cringed at her thoughts, expecting her to pull away and demand to be taken home. _But we are friends, obviously... he is... way too much for..._ her thoughts spluttered as I carefully weaved my fingers into her hair, inhaling. She had crossed my line, no humans in my immediate space so why couldn't I cross the line and find out the truth behind her scent?

"You smell lovely" I murmured into her hair and she shuddered, her breath hitching. She paused her swaying, and I paused my own. "Your perfume..."

"I don't wear perfume" she squeaked as her hands fell paralyzed to her sides and I bravely held her closer with my other hand, gently pushing her forward to me, my other hand feeling her hair slipping like liquid in my fingers.

"...Caramel like your skin" I ignored her, my eyes shut-listening to her stuttering heart beat, her swaying thoughts resonating my voice and becoming intoxicated. "Honey... so sweet"  
>"Uhhh..." she was fully drunk by my own scent now and my eyes flew open as I felt her nose nudge against my chest and inhale absently. My breath came out rough and again she was oblivious, her hands had awoken and were rested on my arm-by my bicep and squeezed slightly-the gentles of her human strength was a caress, too intimate-while she continued to smell me as though I were some fading spice.<p>

"Freesia and Lavender" she announced peeking up at me. "What's wrong, Edward?"  
>"I..." I looked at her, her eyes were hooded and face flushed. Her heart beating against me. She had thought its echo had been my heart. "I am afraid"<p>

She waited for me to elaborate and when I didn't, she sobered up somewhat-realising exactly how intimately we stood in the dimming meadow, the sun had passed and dipped to the other side. She thought about stepping away and apologising but the moment she contemplated this, I held her with increasing conviction. When I did this, her hands moved from my biceps to my neck and I shuddered violently at the contact of her hot skin on the sensitive skin there, my eyelids dropping and vision zooming into her umber orbs.

"Don't... be" she whispered and that feeling of a formality, some step or motion we should be taking came upon us again.

"I don't know..." I murmured but she didn't give me a chance to remain half focused as her eyes darted to my lips-purplish lips she noted-and back up to me. I was lost of control then.

_Kiss me... don't make me beg..._

"Angela" I breathed, dipping my head down slowly and inhaling her. "You should never have to beg"

Her lips were too soft, and I brushed mine quickly over them-my senses shocked at the contact of heat and then jerked back fearfully when the sound of her rapidly rising heart filled my ears. She growled at that, her hands moving from my neck to my hair and gripping so violently the sensation was an addictive caress of hot fingers over my scalp, tugging tenderly. She clambered furiously into my shocked arms, pulling my unmoving head defiantly to hers and opting to send precious hot kisses along my jaw when I was too terrified to comply.

"Argh..." I groaned, attempting to arrange my thoughts, beg her to release me... not to... "Argh, Angela!"

She kissed my neck and then bit, moaning a little-all the while chanting that our lips should meet. So I scooped her up carefully, my attention similar to that of a sinfully drunk man and I tried futilely to still her franticness and allowed our lips to meet, sure to keep my teeth as far hidden from her soft velvety mouth. She sucked on my upper lip, then bit and then moved the actions to my lower lip when I wouldn't open my mouth for her.

This was too much, this was too unadulterated and self-indulgent to the point of debauched...

I was breathing hard, heaving as though I had run around the world... she was pulled carefully to me in my locked arms-I didn't trust my tactile senses while my mind felt overloaded with information. Her hot body so close, her hands alternating between rummaging my shoulders and pulling at my hair and her mouth assaulting my lips with tyrannical purpose.

I managed three deliberate kissed before braving her shuddering frame and placing her sternly but gently back onto the ground, were she swayed a little and lurched forward for a second attack but this time... I lifted my hand in the air and motioned for her to stop, pleading with my eyes.

"Trust me..." I rasped, smiling weakly from her-a rendition of weak in this form at least-and tried to lift my eyelids past their slits "You are as ferocious as your mother"

"Huh" she blinked at me, sulking at my raised hand before comprehension hit home "Oh, uhm... I erm..." she blushed and in my quick intakes of air, I smelt her scent. Had it always been so alluringly corrupt? I inhaled once more and held the breath, almost moving to bring her into my arms once more and inhale her like the last bottle of perfume left in the world.

But then I heard something that should not have been penetrating our little crowded heaven.

"Edward?" she called me softly, worried again. I had bolted upright, spun to the east and moved-blurred in front of her. "Edward...?" she murmured again, startled.

They had been leaving our territory, they had almost disregarded the soft sounds Angela and I had been making. But Curiosity was Cancer...

They sauntered out of the trees, three of them... eyes glowing red and thoughts immediately zoning in on the peculiar scene in front of them.

"Friend..." the dark skinned man-Laurent; his coven mate gave him away. "Have we interrupted your meal?" they were still to far away for a startled and alarmed Angela to hear.

"She is..." I began but the sandy haired man-James, watched my protective stance over Angela with narrowed eyes. "She is not of your concern"  
>"Edward, do you know them?" Angela asked, her small hand tugging at my rigid fingers.<p>

"Maybe he doesn't want to share?" the red-head giggled, weaving her arms around James. "You don't want to share?"  
>"No" I said.<p>

"Share what?" Angela asked, they had moved close enough for their soft tones to carry

"Why, you dear?" Laurent chuckled.

"What kind of freaky..."Angela began and I hissed at James thoughts.

"She isn't a meal" James announced "No, she is most definitely not being treated like a meal..."

I growled at him and Angela's hand released my fingers in fear. All I had to do was bide a few more seconds, as their thoughts turned malevolent-taking my stance over Angela as some form of challenge. All I had to do was give Alice enough time to make it to us, her thoughts screaming for me to give her time, she had seen this too late.

He attacked then, startling Laurent who had thought it was all just jest-they had fed considerably as it was. I flung him away easily and he flew through the air snarling before landing in an already formed counter attack stance. Victoria hissed at me, appearing beside her mate.

"She is just a snack, friend!" Laurent breathed, his hands raised in a sign of piece "Nothing to get worked up about!"  
>"She is with me!" I hissed and I tried to dim out Angela's soft gasp, her icy fear dripping into my panic. She had seen everything. The man being propelled through the air and landing on his feet when really he should have a few broken bones. When really, I shouldn't be able to fling anyone with such strength... when really people didn't just teleport all over the place and emit lion like sounds or shimmer when they moved through the last rays of sun...<p>

They were gong to kill her and feed on her, then kill me. But my telepathy had saved us a few more seconds, as I anticipated James attack and Alice arrived.

"I was in the neighbourhood..."she said casually, ignoring James and Victoria's surprised growls "So I thought I would pop by..."  
>"Thank you" I said stonily, hissing at James. Alice cast Angela a worried glance behind, then nonchalantly came to stand next to my crouched growling form-thus hiding Angela from James indignant eyes.<p>

"She is with us" Alice said clearly "Let it be and no one has to get hurt"

"How about..." James scowled viciously "You give her to us and no one gets hurt?"  
>"No" I roared.<p>

"Then..." James smiled-hoping he had read me right; and he had read me right to the point... "This will hurt a lot"  
>He charged towards me, planning on ducking and weaving behind me and grabbing Angela-his aim was not to harm her as yet, this had so many possibilities as the ultimate hunt for him. His life, his vampirism was all about the hunt... I spun in the air and intercepted his route with a high kick, sending him hurtling into the woods. Alice was dealing with Laurent and I had to rush back to keep Victoria from Angela.<p>

"It isn't worth it and you know it!" I snarled "There is more of my coven coming... listen..."

And they heard the growling and snarling of Emmett and Jasper's advance, having read Alice's note on the door of the house.

"Leave!" I roared and Laurent gave the north of the woods one glance as the ghosting feet of vampires approached them, shook his head at Victoria and fled.

"James, come on..." she murmured "This one human isn't worth it"  
>"I never lose a hunt!" James snarled at her but by then, Emmett ambled through the trees in a magnificent show of muscle, brawn and ferocious growls and James was forced to forfeit. They ran after Laurent then.<p>

"It's over Edward" Alice said softly, begging me to release my coil in front of Angela "He let up"  
>"He let up for now" I closed my eyes, listening to Angela's furious heart beat and cold dread. What was standing in front of her, what had happened in front of her and what had she held in her arms so desperately not fifteen minutes ago?<p>

We should have never crossed the stream.

Now I would burn...

Xx~xx~xX

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Well, you know the deal! Drop a review...!**


	16. The Fallen Angel

"Don't touch me"

The words rang through the silence of the meadow, her heart thudding furiously in her chest and filling my mind with its frightened drum beat. Were they politely kept their distance, were they only heard her ice tone dripping with disgust... I heard the wild shriek of terror in her mind. Demon, demon and demon.

I had finally arrived to hell without ever fully dying, no trial had been held and no heaven had been optioned to me. And it was wounding. It hurt so deeply that I wanted to light a match and drop it on my head; I would burn for her, if the inferno of my pain would be but a spark in her sights that would cause her to consider me. My ashes would be worth just a flick of her acknowledgment. Her head remained turned away, her lips twisted between grimacing and a sharp downward pull-as though she didn't know whether she wanted to hurl or cry.

Because she really didn't know whether she had wanted to hurl or cry. She had kissed me so greedily and now she feared if she looked up at me, her stomach would churn from the taste of sweet vomit and her eyes would bleed from the sight of raw evil unveiled. Or she would be looking into the eyes of death, she would see red and know that I was about to suck the life out off her. Had I sucked the life out off her, she wondered. Had the parley of our lips been my ritual to grab her soul? Would she drop to the earth and be extinguished now?

Would God punish her for her lust?

_Edward... you need to take her home. She won't tell._

"I know she won't" I said gruffly, never removing my eyes from Angela. She twitched at the sound of my voice-gone was its pleasantness and in its place she felt the inflictions of a predator. "Leave, all of you"  
>"Are you..."<p>

"Leave!" I snapped, turning quickly to look at Emmett. _Edward, they may come back... take her home?_

"I am taking her home" I said and they left us within the second. Their only concerns lay in that she would not tell. They didn't hear her fear, they didn't feel the gripping pang as heaven cast me out-she was heaven, and she was casting me out with each second.

She twitched; she wouldn't notice she had done the movement. Humans could not stand still for long periods of time and her limbs ached. Her mind was cold and nothing but broken fear and my heart matched it.

"Angela?" I whispered and she shuddered once, gulping and then she resumed her shaking with new energy. The sun had dipped, I realised. "Angela, please..." 

Nothing. No acknowledgement of hearing me was evident in her thoughts. Just fear. It was dark-dark for her, but the sky was still a dusty colour with these cursed eyes. I took a step forward and she broke something in me as she automatically took one back. I stopped my movement. I reached my hand out to her, willing her to take it and she gulped again.

"Angela?" I said softly "Please, Angela..."  
>"What did you do to me?" she whispered, staring at the grass. Her voice was parched, although she had not cried. I had watched her till this point and she had not cried once, not a tear had fallen. Maybe it would have been easier if she let some of the trauma out through blessed tears...<p>

"I did nothing to you" I said desperately and she misconstrued it as arrogance-I had never hated it more than this very moment, that it was always the first impression people had of me-_arrogance_ "I... those... people..."  
>"Those were <em>not<em> people!" she yelled, the trauma setting in and crashing over her with all its adrenaline and violence. She lurched forward and it was I who stepped back in fear. "You are not a person!"

"Angela, I know" I told her.

"You are a liar!" she screamed, her eyes wide and hair flying in the wind. It was dark and I saw my spectre image in the dark shirt from her mind. She remembered the day of the break-in at her house, how I had moved from one point to the other like distance was a thing that didn't affect me. It didn't affect me at all, with the speed of a rocket in my limbs-but I had never felt so hopelessly faraway, with her standing not three steps from me.

"Well..." she said in hard cynicism, folding her shaking thin arms "Be done with it. Kill me, isn't that what you brought me here to do?"

"You are cold" I said numbly and she sneered with such hysteria, I was frightened she may be succumbing to madness to cope. "You didn't bring something warmer"

"Well..." she said in a high voice-adrenaline, fear and grandiose, she thought she would die soon and at my hand "I didn't think I would be out late with demons flying towards me?"

"Angela?"

"What Edward?!" she asked, her breathing laboured. Her scent decadent with adrenaline.

"Do you honestly believe I brought you here to kill you?" I asked her softly-wishing she would look at me.

"What did you bring me here to do?" she asked instead "Because right now, the only thing I can understand is that I should be dead"  
>"And you aren't"<br>"Because..."  
>"I protected you from those beings with red eyes" I whispered. She stopped then, and let this bit of information work its way into her understanding. "I can take you home; we will get there in less than ten minutes. Can I take you home, Angela?"<br>"Yes" she breathed, the fear mingling with her comprehension that she wasn't to die. She believed me when I said this to some degree but she was sceptical on whether or not I intended to harm her in some manner regardless. "You will take me home?" she asked again, finally looking up at me.

The trust she had been throwing my way freely and abundantly long gone from her eyes and now she was imploring me to not hurt her. The match was lit, it dropped, falling to my crown and I burnt before her helplessly. And she didn't care for it, she didn't see it with her wide eyes and before she blinked, the wind blew and my ashes scattered around her.

"I won't hurt you, Angela" I said-I whimpered. I reached my hand out to her, willing her to take it but she looked at it dubiously before retracting her initial brave step forward. I dropped my hand back to my side silently.

"How will I get home in ten minutes?" she asked softly, looking away into the shadows. Afraid the red-head and her mate would return.

"I will carry you"  
>"You will carry me?"<br>"And run..." I said slowly "You will be safe. I will be careful. I promise"  
>She didn't respond, remembering the sounds of my growls rummaging through the air from my chest. "You won't hurt me?" she asked again. "You promise I will get home?"<p>

"Yes, of course" I said quickly "Angela, I never ever wanted to hurt you-I would never hurt you. I could never harm you...!"  
>She ignored this and thought a little more, she thought about what she saw-Alice beautiful and small flashing across the field and the way I had moved into the air to kick the other vampire away. Emmett's zooming through the trees. Something about it all made her realise how indestructible we were. Demons, the word played out in her mind...<p>

"You will take me home?" she asked.

"Yes"

"I will arrive home?" she asked and her need to hear me affirm this troubled me, it worked through me and I wished I could bleed. I would bleed free and until I was drained, if a blood oath would suffice to her momentary trust of safety.

"Yes, Angela... I wont let anything happen to you, including... including _that_" I shivered, she thought I would kill her, rip through her chest and steal and still her heart " I wont hurt you"

She took one step forward and gingerly extended her hand out to mine "And... you will leave me alone?"  
>"If that's what you want" I whispered.<p>

"I won't tell" she swore.

"I know you wont" I sighed and she nodded her head.

"So you won't hurt my..."  
>"I could never, Angela" I murmured and she touched my cold fingers-recoiling for the first time since she realised I was perpetually 'cool', before gulping and closing her eyes. I picked her up carefully and held her as far away from my chest as I could "I am so sorry, Angela"<p>

"Just get me home" she mumbled, eyes shut so tight and mind refusing to note how cold and strong my arms felt from wherever they made contact with her "Please, just get me home... Edward"

Xx~xx~xX

"Didn't I tell you this would happen?" Rosalie shrieked, she was in a place so close together that her joy and anger were melting and merging in and out of each other. "You never listen! You and Alice, always with your comradeship!"

"Now see what you have done" she leaned on the table, at the other end opposite me, mind imploring me to look into her gleeful eyes. "You have put us at risk!"  
>"Rose, she wont tell" Alice sighed. I ignored her vision of Angela huddled and pulled into herself, alone on a table in the school cafeteria. "She won't tell, Rose"<br>"But my point is..." Rosalie began, raising a self-righteous finger into the air.

"Rose, enough of that!" Carlisle snapped, all pretence of ever being born and raised in America lost in his anger and accent "What manners you have, beautiful Rose... such a lady you were raised and refined into, to sprinkle water with your cruel fingertips upon your brother, when he comes home to you, drenched from the storm?"

"I..." her mouth fell open momentarily, eyes wide and confused before she gave me one startled glance-remembering now that I had not returned any of her insults and jeers at all, an uncustomary act on my part-and then she ran up the stairs to her room.

"She did warn me" I croaked and Esme groaned, her hands attempting to cover my own in their soft diminutiveness. "I was... possibly arrogant to think that I was greater than God"  
>"Greater than God, Edward?" Carlisle shook his head "Edward?!"<br>"I mean, greater than God that I would believe I was above being..." I paused, pulling my hand difficulty from Esme's strong hold and waved the hand over my form in revulsion. "Greater than my curse"  
>"Edward!" Esme cried and attacked me in a desperate embrace, her arms pulling me to her and rocking us both with her motion.<p>

"The point I want to deliver here..." Carlisle sighed, glancing briefly at Jasper "Is that as long as she doesn't tell, and Alice has seen solidly to that-then we do not move. We conduct ourselves naturally-natural to the human's-and we give Angela no reason to think further..."  
>"I growled" I moaned. "I snarled and growled like some rabid beast from the underworld!"<br>"Edward, you were protecting her!" Esme whispered anguished. Alice stood behind my chair and I felt her hand touch my hair.

"Edward, bro..." Emmett tried, grimacing at my lack of control with my emotions-it had been something I was good at for so long, in an eerie Jasper like way... controlling my emotions, and here I was breaking more than I had ever done in Volterra when Caius called me out on my lonely existence. "She is just a human..."  
>"You don't understand!" I roared, rising from my seat so violently, Esme jumped up and took two steps back. Alice was already by Jasper's side, naturally-she was not one to be taken by surprise "I have felt things, I have gone to places in quiet moments that no other girl... no, no other <em>being <em>could have ever had the capabilities of taking me to in this one..."  
>I stopped, head tilting up to the ceiling and my eyes seeing through Rosalie's eyes. I was staring at a mirror, a brush hovering unsure over her pale gold strands and eyes wide and disbelieving. She had tried so long ago, so long before Emmett to garner a reaction from me-how pretty we would have been, if only we were together, this had been her driving force to have me-and now...<p>

And now a simple human girl with horn rimmed glasses had broken me past my arrogance and meticulous chariness and coaxed my dead heart into a single beat for her.

"Once again, Rosalie" I whispered-she would hear, unnaturally "This isn't about you!"  
>"Fuck you!" she roared but internally she begged me to let the oncoming tirade remain a telepathic monologue, for she couldn't risk such petty historical facts emerging... and neither could I, even if it was all her own fault. I didn't care for it, for her nor for Tanya, past irritating beings just slightly sisters...<p>

"Argh!" the rain was pouring and they were hovering around me as though in any moment I would break into a thousand pieces. I had to get out. If I broke, I wanted to remain that way, not have them attempt to recover the pieces when only Angela knew the formation of the puzzle. They would connect me, construct me once more, but I would never be the same.

"Edward?" Alice whispered "Please?"

"Alice, what is it?" Esme asked.

"He wants to leave us" Alice stated.

"No" Emmett said with finality and Jasper rose, seconding Emmett's motion.

"Son?" Carlisle asked. "Is this what you want?"  
>"My heart stilled when you turned me..." I murmured and his face became controlled and hard; it was always a sensitive topic "Never would I feel it beating. But father, Carlisle, I felt it in those moments with her. Now, those moments I cherished so powerfully revolt her with just as much power... what would you have me do?"<p>

"Let us comfort you!" Esme cried. I looked away from her, my resolve was still unsettled and she was a master at turning it to her will.

"I don't blame you" I told Carlisle "I just want you to understand... I am..." I didn't even have a word for this emotion. I shook my head, her face flew over my sights, dangerous trust and secure fear.

"I just need time" I finished, and I flew out of the house, through the rain and into the night.

Xx~xx~xX

The war in me was great and I was deteriorating from its vigour.

She wanted me to stay away, she wanted me to let her be, she wanted me to erase any memory of our encounter and thus, allow her to forget. I could see the blinking lights of her house through the forest-I had already calculated the location of each of the merging and smudged glows a few kilometres away. A few kilometres away was good as any for a perimeter, I thought. A restraining order that I was trying to dutifully uphold. Was this what stalkers and the _like_ felt like ( I grimaced, I was reduced to some perverted criminal and it hurt that the fall from grace and the level of landing was still to high)? A weird combination of injustice to their sentence and miserable acceptance to their ruling? I could hear the whisper of thoughts wafting from the houses there. One of the soft sounds was hers, one of the cool tinted thoughts belonged to her and I was cowardly afraid of its contents suddenly. Like it would break me past this lone form standing still in the rain, never having changed from my attire.

Her thoughts would break me past this, there was no doubt about that but what could be worse than being a vampire in the rain, wet and warm in the cold?

I took one step, thinking it would penetrate the distance her thoughts were held safely in. My feet braved what my mind couldn't and I had moved a kilometre through the woods so suddenly, using a tree to brace the abrupt motion and falling to the ground. The mud squished through my fingers, the tree groaned when my back pushed against its base and my legs pulled trudges through the muddy earth when I stretched them out.

I was breathing hard.

Maybe Caius had been right... oh, Lord, he had been utterly right! The moment I had accepted that I was alone even with Carlisle, that moment when my arrogance and pride failed me... would be the most pathetic moment of my existence. Even though all of these cruel pleasantries had been uttered only with the intention of winning my loyalty to their guard, their truth was never more apparent.

I was breathing hard in the rain, lungs pushing in and out pointlessly because right now, I was at the lowest point of my existence. Not the blood I had fallen to, not breaking Carlisle and Esme's hearts in the process...

No, none of it could hope of comparing to this anguish I felt at loving something-I had no doubt that I was wretchedly in love with her now-loving her so completely and hopelessly that the lack of her feeling for me was a stab to my heart. And a lack of her in my world would end me. I was ending...

_Stay away from me._

I was ending, not from fire... but from rain. A vampire burning in the rain, simply because I was that pitiable to God. Die now, and forever hold your sanity, for if I lived another moment to carry her request out, I would go insane.

"Argh!" eyes closed and I as drowning in umber. I had doomed it from the start, I should not have been so naïve to my nature to allow the vast capabilities of my mind to zone into her alone and disregard the rest of the world. For now that she was gone from my mind and I had aborted the world, nothing was holding me in place. The wind howling, lighting thrusting through the night and the soft patter of the ferocious rain on my skin... it was bringing me back to the realisation that I couldn't remember how I had been living before her. A vampire never forgets, and yet here I was unsure on the memory of immortal living before Angela. Possibly because she had brought to me a taste of life in her, I had not been alive before Angela-I understood this. I had been living, imitating life, as was my nature-our nature. And she had deformed the already misshapen _thing_ and made it feel past its numbness.

Past the nature I had adopted in Carlisle's coven, past blending in with humans and keeping them at arms length. She had reached out to me, she had extended her hand and I had placed it into hers warily and then she had proceeded to pull me from my soothing shadows to her light. And now I was back in darkness and this time, I knew exactly how dark my world was. I knew it so thoroughly that I that the darkness had such depth that the flash of lightning was soaked in greedily by my eyes. As though she could fling light over the skies...

She had done it over my eyes.

I found her thoughts carelessly. Past her father's musings that her daughter was rather melancholy today. Past her little brother's dreams of vivid colours and cartoon characters and straight into her numb dread.

I ran up to the edge of the forest, to the beginning of the lawns expanse to her house. Her bedroom light was on, she did not trust to turn it off... and by the window, she sat. She was staring into the darkness, through the sheet of rain and trying to decipher the dancing shadows of the trees for my form... any pale ghosting form. The lightning frightened her tonight, its stark paleness reminded her of my skin and the dark sky was my shirt. I touched my shirt contemplatively, instantaneously fuelled with such hate for the fabric that I wanted to tear it of my body-as though it was the cause for my current emotional and mental undoing.

She saw nothing and sat back down in her chair-it was positioned right in front of the window. I peered from behind the tree; just as she was afraid of Edward the Monster, I was afraid of Angela the Afraid. Her fear was a weapon no other being could hold against me so steadily. Her hate and torment were ammunition to this weapon.

She was frazzled, her hair a bushy mass around her face and her eyes were wide and free of spectacles. She must have showered and cared little for her hair. She was clutching her bathrobe by the collar with one hand and her mouth was set into a relentless pinch. She sat stiff in the chair, the warm light of her room falling cold on her blue robe. A flash of lightning and her head snapped to the right, she thought she had seen something.

She decided it was nothing and continued her searching of monsters, so convinced as she was that I would not keep my word. That maybe my despair had been real and only its realness would give way to a 'mercy killing'. In her sleep, I would come. In her nightmare tonight, I would take her. I would swim past the burning stream and pull her in with me.

"I need to give you peace, Angela" I whispered. The thunder roared and she jumped in her seat. "I need to leave you be"

I backed away from the edge, giving her one last longing look that she would never see and ran-to the only other place I could lock myself away, without hurting anyone further.

**Xx~xx~xX**

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**Woe becomes me... Good heavens, the melancholy! A tissue for Edward-vampires feel at an exponential level, so here we are. A vampire suffering from heart break almost as soon as he feels love but before we all go into anti-Angela slurs... put your self in her shoes. Not Bella's shoes, Bella would have been willing to override Edward's vampirism in favour of a God at her arm.**

**Here you are, kissing a guy and suddenly-Alakazam! He turns into Shrek, swinging boulders at Gollum in front of you! I know, exaggerated, but try picturing it...**

**And on that note, let the reviewing commence, your thoughts on future happenings, I would hate for this to be too twilighty!**

**So no going to bed, or logging off!**

**Xx**

**Tj**


	17. The Weirdness Within

**ANGELA WEBER**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**THE WEIRDNESS WITHIN**

The rain fell down gently; straight narrow droplets that merged into a grey hazy sheet. Her bedroom window faced the forest and she sat quietly by it, lost in her overlapping memories. The window fogged up and even without the aid of her glasses, she could make out the still trees and their shadowed secrets sitting patiently in the shallow edges of the forest. She touched a finger to the cold glass and shivered-it was his skin. Exactly like his skin... cold, smooth and begging to be warmed. She retracted her finger abruptly, gulped down that bitter sweet memory and then hesitantly returned it to the class, placing it firmly against the plane. The cold thin sheet over the glass immediately ran from the heat of her finger. She pulled it over the chilled surface without removing contact, drawing a clear path revealing the outside world more thoroughly to her. She kept the trail angled slightly, then stopped-never removing her finger-and then pulled up at a different angle, a third the height of her initial line and continued this trail until she had drawn a 'W' through the misted plane.

Her memory delivered blows upon blows of his smile, his eyes and his soft laugh... and at the end, each beautiful recall was punctuated with _his growls_ and _his snarls_ and serenaded by her fear and self loathing. And she drew over her clear canvas, and when she was done and she moved back on her chair, she sighed in relief. A little of her fear and pain was left right there on the glass.

"Wicked Lust" she said out loud and then groaned, because as much as she had turned to this extreme explanation to what transpired, and as much as she wanted to run to her own self delusions...

She wasn't _that_ sort of person. It wasn't just 'Wicked Lust'. She had not simply been seduced by some demon crawled from the depths of hell. He had purposefully tried to keep her at arms length, hadn't he? She had sought him out and be damned the ways of the delusional world... she had not sought him out with reason being that he was a pretty boy that she wanted to fix her eyes on. He was lonely; she could tell, and she had wanted to be his _friend_.

"He..." she said in a hollow voice, peering through the lines of her already re-misting duo words, wishing and fearing that he would be standing in the middle of those comfortable secrets in the forest. "He... what else could he be, dear Lord. A _she_?"

She closed her eyes and tried to banish the image of him rupturing as she rudely spat out that he was to stay as far away from her as possible. How she stood there, glaring at his beauty like it was as disgusting as something long overstayed in the refrigerator, when truthfully it was her who was so vile with her quick bigotry.

But what did he expect? He was flying and flashing in front of hair and making tiger-like sounds? She surely thought, in retrospect... that she had handled things realistically. What was she to do? Pat him on the back and say she was fine with seeing things that shouldn't be _seen_? She had to let the emotions go through their motions...

"Angela?" her dad knocked softly on her door and she tilted her head slightly to its direction, never removing her gaze from the forest. "Angela, are you going to school? Are you feeling better today?"

What was she so afraid of anyway... him? Yes, she was afraid of him... only of the shock of not knowing what he was and what she was, now that she knew such things existed.

"Yes, I think I will brave the rain" she said.

"It really is only a persistent drizzle, nothing to be terrified off!" he laughed and she heard one of the twins squeal in delight at the errant comment entirely strange coming from her serious father.

How right he was; what was the worse that could happen? Her hair would frizz and her clothes would get damp? Where was her pluck? She needed to be brave enough to believe it when he said she wouldn't be harmed... why should she be harmed, it was him who showed her his nature, and she hadn't asked for it or spied and used trickery to reveal it...

"Right, get your act together..." she tutted, rising from her seat "It's only boring old Forks High and the Cullen's just happen to go there"

Xx~xx~xX

She felt like it was the first day of high school.

That terrifying day when she had come from the holidays to realise that everyone had changed and there were such things as 'cliques' and 'nerds' and she wasn't cool for having conquered so many books like back in junior school. Everyone seemed... different. It was as if that week she had been 'sick' with flu, and then it had turned to 'Lady Problems' when her father had pointed out she didn't have so much as a sniffle but more like a case of grouchiness; it was like that week had been a whole year.

Lauren gave her a scowl, and flipped her hair petulantly as she turned back to her lackeys for a heated discussion that didn't involve the war in the Middle East, or the water depletion of the world but some poor girls outfit of choice. Nothing seemingly wrong with that at first, but Angela was all to aware that Lauren had bothered to even _notice_ her... more especially since she had no 'homework treasure' from being away.

And then there were a few more stares and whispers. She ignored them, as one would do when pressed with more pressing matters than high school politics. Her eyes where peeled open, waiting to see anything pale and beautiful ghost by them...

But it didn't happen. Not when she entered her English class for first period. Not in any of her other two classes, where she was hoping and terrified of spotting sullen whiteness topped in bronze. And by the end of all of that, her courage had managed to manifest into something less timid and she was now certain she would see him in Spanish.

"Hello" she asked the boy in front of her. She sat alone on her table, having been exceptionally late to the class and an exception due to her limited (nonexistent) Spanish. He tilted his head up and frowned irritated at her, she had interrupted his _texting_.

"Uhm" she pushed her glasses up and gulped "I am... Angela"  
>"I don't really care" he drawled and then waved his phone indicatively "Do you mind?"<br>"I just wanted to know if you had seen... erm, Edward Cullen?" she stared at him "Uhm, he is the youngest of the Cullen's, with uhm, reddish brown hair..." she patted her head stupidly to illustrate where Edward Cullen's hair would be located and the boy shook his head in worry.

"Of course I know him" he sighed, smiling at her awkwardness "Everyone knows them, what are you... New to the school or retarded?"  
>"I wouldn't be in here if I was retarded" she raised an eyebrow and the boy snorted and mumbled 'nerd'. "And that's such a left-sided thing to say..."<br>"Listen, there is the big guy over there..." the boy cocked his head to the left and Angela followed the direction. Sitting alone on the table, leaning casually and formidably was Edward's 'big' brother'. He was laughing at something with such verve; the whole row in front of him kept casting cautious glances back at him. His eyes moved deftly and met hers in a narrowed knowing humoured stare. He winked at her and she jumped, bumping her pencil case so it fell to the floor.

"He always sits with Emmett in Spanish" the boy sighed "If he isn't with Emmett, and you haven't seen your Prince Charming... then maybe he didn't come to school, or he is off in a locker somewhere kissing it up with a Cheer Dude"

"He isn't gay" Angela said absently, pushing out of her chair and reaching on the floor for her pencil case. Her heart hammered in her chest and she scowled as her fingers shakily clutched the pencil case. The boy didn't bother to move and help her, but proceeded to scoot his chair in and hunch over his phone once more.

She straightened in her seat, returning her pencil case to the left hand corner of her table and carefully looking up at Emmett. He was watching her; something in his eyes seemed worried or even sad this time around.

"Can..." she began and then stopped, feeling entirely stupid. She looked down at her hands on the table; they were fogging the surface with their heat. She thought about her window pane and the invisible writing on it. She shouldn't be so afraid, she had promised herself "Can you hear me" she whispered and quickly glanced up at Emmett; he tilted his head thoughtfully and frowned, then looked forward.

"You are _weird_" the boy said in a concerned tone, turning to give her a 'you are crazy' look. It may have been too low for any other person, but not one individual with nothing to do but jab at his phone in front of her... He sighed and scooted to the right of his table, glanced back at her as if expecting her to follow his movements and then resumed his texting with fervour-no doubt telling the recipient of the 'Crazy girl with Horned rimmed glasses' behind him.

Xx~xx~xX

Ben was telling her something of vital importance, she realised. He was asking her a series of questions and requiring a series of answers that didn't consist of sighs and 'hmm's'. Ben wasn't her reality in that moment, her reality was in her mind; she was with him in the meadow and he was looking at her like no other being had ever looked at her and she was falling hopelessly into something that had seemed like love at the time.

"Angela?"  
>"Huh?"<br>"You landed back on earth yet?" Ben chuckled "You didn't answer my question?"  
>"Which one?" she stared at him bewildered.<p>

"All of them" he laughed "I uhm, well... lets start with the one on why you weren't at the dance?"  
>"Next one" she said immediately and his smile faltered.<p>

"Didn't you want to be at the dance?" he persisted.

"Next one Ben" she sighed and he exhaled sharply.

"Okay, you were sick this whole week?"  
>"That's a statement"<br>"But you were?"  
>"I was..." she drew a loop in her pad. Lying was always something foreign to her.<p>

"Okay, fine" Ben sighed "It's just... I was really hoping to see you at the dance"  
>"Sorry" she murmured.<p>

"Did your erm, sickness start then, on the day of the dance?"  
>"Yes" that didn't really feel like a lie; she was answering a metaphoric question, even if Ben was unaware he had asked one.<p>

"Actually..." Ben stuttered "I was hoping to go with you to the dance"

She stopped her doodling and looked at him from the corner of her eye "You where?"  
>"Well, I thought you know... as friends, maybe in the end and..." he smiled "But the more I thought about it and the more I thought it would be nice if maybe through it we could not be so much friends and then after..."<p>

"Catch a movie?" she offered and he laughed uneasily.

"Yes, a movie... a date" he smiled.

"I have wanted you to ask me that for so long" Angela sighed, placing her pen carefully on top of her pad.

"Oh, no" Ben joked but the worry didn't leave his eyes.

"Now isn't a good time" Angela whispered.

"Is it him?" Ben frowned.

"Him who?" she smiled in confusion.

"Cullen"

Xx~xx~xX

She was excused from gym today, as someone who had been sick for a week. She had already changed into her gym attire though, and she felt the nippiness of the gymnasium working up the exposed expanse of her leg. Alice Cullen was in their class today, she had come with the other girls from the second P.E class to have a volleyball match. She hadn't acknowledged Angela, and this both relieved Angela and bothered her.

"You weren't at the Dance" Jessica stated. Angela's heart stuttered and when she glanced at Jessica, she saw the controlled frown on the peppy girls face. "Where were you, Angela?"  
>"I was... at home, I was sick" Angela stammered.<p>

"You were supposed to be my friend, Angela" Jessica turned around and faced her fully "Lauren and I are not _pleased _with your..."  
>Jessica paused, tapping her leg on the floor and turning her eyes up to the right-trying to come up with a proper adjective for Angela. She sighed and scowled viciously at Angela and then poked Angela sharply on her shoulder.<p>

"I am very disappointed with your _easiness" _Jessica growled "You don't think I didn't notice that you weren't at the dance and Edward wasn't there either? His sister was there... they _all _were there obviously, but _you and him_ weren't there! And you had talked about asking Ben and Ben was there looking for you... so I put two and two together..."  
>"And came out with eighteen, evidently" Alice Cullen sighed, appearing right by Angela "Edward went to visit cousin's of mine for a bit, in Alaska"<p>

Jessica stared at the small beautiful girl bewildered and terrified, and then glanced at a silent Angela.

"I thought..." Jessica began and Alice shushed her.

"Some more evidence for you!" Alice laughed and then said seriously, severely "You _evidently_ shouldn't think, either" and with that, the smallest Cullen skipped back to her group without another word to either Jessica or Angela.

"Angela, I am so sorry" Jessica whispered, checking that Alice Cullen had indeed returned to the other side of the court "I mean, you know... you were talking and laughing with him and the way he looks at you..."

"He doesn't look at me _any way_" Angela said huskily, she had been fighting off angry tears.

"Obviously he doesn't" Jessica laughed and Angela flinched "I mean, what was I thinking. See you on the field, player! Watch out from my spike, it's formidable!"

Xx~xx~xX

She held the paper with his number drawn beautifully on it. She had stared at it enough now, to know that his letters were all even and slanted in the same manner. Perfection. She held the receiver loosely in her hand and stared at the dial key pad. She looked at the still lighter patch on the carpet and thought about how she had spilled her coffee there not so long ago while in a similar yet entirely different situation.

She took in a breath and dialled the number, bringing the receiver carefully to her ear. It rang once, just one, an easily dismissible sound and then she heard wind howling.

"Hello?" she whispered, her heart vibrating her form "Edward?"

"Angela" not a question. She gulped when her name came out sounding like air to a suffocating man. "Is it you, Angela?"

"No, its Santa Claus" she coughed out a laugh and then touched her cheek. A tear had fallen... she scowled at her glistening index finger.

"It feels like Christmas to hear you, but I don't think I should be receiving any gifts. I was bad, wasn't I?" he murmured. The howling continued, wild and unbidden.

"Not so much that you had to leave the school" she whispered "You didn't have to go"

"I thought it would make it easier for you"

"I..." she stared at the light patch; that stained coffee had refused to be erased from the carpet entirely. It represented him, somehow... as she sat curled in the lumpy chair "Well, you see... I hadn't known what _would_ make it easier, but I think I realised it by knowing what _wouldn't _make it easier"  
>"What wouldn't make it easier, Angela?"<br>"You being... _away_" she mumbled. The wind had stopped howling in his background, and instead a sharp whistling sound whipped around. She imagined a forest, for some strange reason. And then a car whizzing over a highway-she wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it. "What are you doing, Edward?"  
>"Making it easier" he said evenly and the line went dead.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

She stared at the phone in her hand for a second; tempted to call him back immediately-even though she really had no words in her mouth. It scared her that every occurrence that had transpired during her day had needed an outlet; someone to tell about it, to swear out Lauren and Jessica and muse about how such a tiny person like _Alice Cullen _could seem so terrifying. And that someone, that person she wanted to unload such things on had not been there. There had been no wit and humour in her day, no sunshine exuding from a grumpy face...

No Edward.

She decided she wouldn't delude herself into thinking the line had gone dead, bad connection. He had cut the line on her. It might have made her mad that he had cut the line, but she was dealing with someone who flew over fields and growled like wildcat...

The shower was nice, it was the first time since the meadow incident that she could relay say she enjoyed it. It felt like she was waking up; it felt like she had been asleep or bewitched and that call to Edward had been exactly the antidote to everything. Because she had been trying so hard to force a lie, that she had lost track of the truth; she had known from the beginning he was _good._ So why did he have to change now, because she had seen something she obviously wasn't supposed to. His secrets... he could keep them...

Her hair dripped on her back and she smiled. She had been so bad to herself this whole week; no lengthy showers, no Avril Lavigne and no fruity shampoo. Today, she had gone all out; body scrub, shaving, shampoo and conditioner. It might have been too late to play Avril on full blast like she liked, but she was... at peace.

She twisted her hair into a bun, removed her glasses after reading a bit of Ephesians (maintaining a strong mantra not to over think her reality into her religion just yet, she was too young she had decided, to be trusted with an accurate conclusion) and pulled her robe of, enjoying the feel of her clean skin in her nightdress. As she pulled her covers up, as she reached to turn her lamp off... a single clank came from her window. She froze, her heart clenching. Another clatter. She sat upright, staring at the curtains covering the window. Another clank. She got up slowly and moved towards the window, expecting another clank. It never came this time, so she opened the curtain slowly and peered out.

He was standing still in the middle of her lawn, in the same clothes from their hiking trip. Her eyes widened... all her musings and over thinking about him had not drawn an accurate image, even with the aid of her memory... on how overwhelmingly striking Edward Cullen truly was. He inhaled once, she saw this and smiled slowly, fearfully, up at her.

"Edward?" she whispered. He nodded, although it had been too low for him to hear. She thought how Emmett had almost deceived her into thinking they couldn't hear so far, how Alice had known what Jessica was on about when she had been merrily skipping about at the other side of the court.

She waved at him-and then frowned at her hand. She hadn't commanded it to do that. He smiled a little more confidently and it amazed her how in his concrete exquisiteness he could seem awkward in standing on her lawn.

"I'll come down" she whispered and moved quickly from the window, looking for her robe. "Where is that..."  
>"Here" he murmured and she jumped, staring at him standing in her room, her robe hooked to his curled index finger. "I don't think you would like it out there, the weather is turning rather... Christmassy"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"Alice said you were in Alaska, visiting cousins" she said, after a tense moment of silence. He was standing right against the wall opposite her bed while she sat on the edge of her bed, huddled in her blankets.

"I was" he said, looking at something over her head. "You kept our project?"  
>"You cut very straight" she said a little defensively "My other projects all have some sort of error, even if I am the only one who can see it. That's the only perfect one"<p>

"You have cousins?" she asked softly, shyly.  
>"Yes" he answered and then looked at her, she looked away quickly and busied herself with picking at the stitching of her quilt. "Angela, you are most gracious"<br>"About what?" she mumbled.

"Trying to remain friends with me"  
>"Trying...?" she peeked at him, he smiled at her "I thought we were friends?"<p>

"Well, we left things a little strange"  
>"I apologise" she said quickly.<p>

"You didn't do anything..."  
>"I was so..."<br>"Please Angela" he whispered desperately, walking carefully to the edge of her bed "Never apologise to me. Never explain yourself to me..." he kneeled by her bed stiffly, as though he expected her to push him away.

"Does all of that mean I can _know _you?" she asked, staring into his eyes and finding it hard to blink.

"You don't really want to know everything about me" he deduced "You fear it; and while I was in Alaska..."  
>"So you were really in Alaska?" she asked, frowning suspiciously at him.<p>

"I don't know why you would think I lied, if Alice had already mentioned it" he smiled at her.

"You go there in an hour or so?"  
>"I go there in twenty minutes Angela" he smiled "You take forever to shower"<br>"You..." she pointed at the hidden shower and then at him and then stared at the window "Where you standing there just..."  
>"I know I can be weird" he guessed and she smiled.<p>

"You and me both, partner" she grinned and he smiled, crooked grin that was too decadent for her. She looked away. He hadn't risen from were he was kneeling and she wondered if he wasn't uncomfortable there... if she shouldn't scoot on her bed or maybe offer her chair, currently draping her gown.

"You are always distracting me, Angela" he smiled shaking his head "Would you let me finish before extending your hospitality?"  
>"I..." her mouth dropped, had she been so obvious?<p>

"I was thinking, while I was in Alaska..." he sighed wearily "Well, Alice promised me that things would get better..." he looked up at her sharply and raised an eyebrow "No interrupting Angela"  
>"But I hadn't said anything!" she protested and he smiled.<p>

"Anyhow, while I was in Alaska... I thought that if you ever..." he looked away from her and a worn look disarranged his concentration. "I thought a lot of thing but I was certain Alice would be wrong. I should really learn she never is"

"Wrong about what?"  
>"That you would ever look at me without that fear and disgust" he murmured and Angela's insides swirled uncomfortably "I don't fault you, Angela. I don't, do you hear me... so no apologising"<br>"I hadn't said anything" she said without the same humour. Her tone came out dry and parched.

"Well, I had put you in danger that day... at the meadow" Edward said softly, imploring her to understand something "You see, Angela... I put you in danger truly when I... when I... became so enthralled by you that I rearranged my entire being without knowing it and maid you my core"

She blinked stupidly at him.

"Do you understand what I am saying to you?" he asked.

"That you really like me?" she whispered and smiled freely at her, stunning her and he nodded once.

"I shouldn't have let things get to that" he said low and apologetically "I should have never worried that you would be offended if I didn't pitch in the library. I shouldn't have stolen your glittery pen..."  
>"My glitter..." she began and then let it go.<p>

"Angela" he said seriously "I cannot tell you about my nature, do you understand that?"

She nodded.

"I can assure you, that you are right when you think you don't really want to know everything" he said and this confused her a bit, but she remained silent. "And the most selfless thing for me to do right now, is to leave"

"Why?!" she yelled and he shushed her, mouthing 'your Dad'.

"You saw those red eyed beings..." he said "Demons. Well, I am no less"  
>"You are more" she said automatically and she had to stop from sounding entirely idiotic and saying 'you are an angel'.<p>

"I only choose not do evil, but its hard" he said and she shook her head in disbelief. "It's hard because that is what is in my... not blood, I guess DNA. All my family, we don't want to be demons and hurt people... but if I remain so close to you, as enthralled as I am... I will be pulling all that evil into your life. It will be drawn to you because of me, just like in the meadow"  
>"What are you saying?" she whispered.<p>

"Now that you aren't running on adrenaline and you know I would never wish to see you in any hard..." he swallowed and then looked into her eyes severely "Now, maybe it will be easier and clearer to make your decision; should I stay away from you?"

"What?"

"Angela... just tell me to leave your home now" he said quickly, his fingers twitching from beside her "Tell me to leave you well alone, tell me to never speak to you, never look at you... tell me to get out of Forks and I will do it"

They stared into each others eyes, and Edward seemed to see through her eyes and into her soul, as though he was reading every fear and deciphering it.

"We can start from the beginning" Edward whispered "We don't have to start from where it all went wrong"

She touched his fingers and they stilled. He was ice but she realised she had never cared before.

"If you want me to be your friend" he said desperately and it bothered her how accurate he was with her own jumbled wants "If that is what is at its clearest for you, then I will be the best friend you will ever have, Angela. Don't you dare worry about the other... _stuff_ from the meadow. I was entirely selfish then, for putting you in that place..."

"Do you want to tell me everything?" she asked. He nodded and that somehow made it a little better.

"Your knowing, even the little you know now..." Edward murmured "That puts you at such tremendous risk and I care about you too much, _entirely_ Angela. I care about you _entirely_; to extend that abuse would be more than just selfishness at its current form, kneeling before you as it is"

"I don't want you to leave" Angela said softly, squeezing his hand.

"I don't want to leave you" he whispered.

"So stay" she smiled and then her eyes widened in panic. "But uhm, not here. My mother taught me better than to let boys spend nights all willy-nilly in my bedroom"  
>He laughed softly at that. "Well, I better let you get your beauty sleep then"<p>

"So uhm... will you be leaving the _normal_ way, or flying?"  
>"You are truly absurd; I didn't <em>fly<em>" he chuckled rising slowly "I _jumped_"  
>"Well, safe landing" Angela yawned. "Close the window on your way out, and those pants could probably stand on their own with one week of abuse, so take a shower when you get home... in five seconds"<p>

"In three minutes" he murmured "Sleep well, sweet Angela"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**So there are so many pointers in here that I think, judging from some reviews and pm's would either bother or please people. Go ahead and review were you stand-bothered, pleased or confused. Just remember to elaborate...**

**I think there is impatience on why the word 'love' was withheld here as well, and why he didn't tell Angela he was a vampire out and out. **

**The word love isn't such a simple thing for us mere mortals, but for Edward... he has all the maturity in his decades and all he complexity in his vampiric make-up to know what he is feeling is love, and an exponential love at that. Angela is a teenager, as blunt as that, and Edward knows it. **

**As for the withholding of information, you tell me what you come up with?**

**Other responses.**

**Hmm, poor Rosalie, even when she is trying to be right... her snootiness makes her come out wrong. She picked the worst possible time to do her 'I told you so' dance. Right when Edward had everyone's sympathy with his depressed self. And I think Angela was more overwhelmed by the fact that she painted out Edward as an innocent misunderstood boy and then, wham and bam... not so much misunderstood than _not freaking human!? _Trust me, you wont be all 'Bella' like if the dude you are kissing isn't a dude, not even a chick (not that there would be a problem and all) but a... what is he(Angela asks herself)? And then being brought up by a pastor of a father and seeing red eyed men and women licking their lips at her... well...**

**I think Angela would be less ruled by hormones to begin with, as her reason for missing Edward. They really had become good buddies in the end. And the awesome kiss will rear its head up, eventually...**

**Hehehehehe.**

**See you soon.**

**TJ.**

**And do review...**


	18. The Subtle Nature of Reality

**THE SUBTLE NATURE OF REALITY**

Her heart was in her throat. She had thought she had time; time to think about him a think about how she should be around him... but here he was, in front of her, too beautiful and tangible.

"Hello" Edward said softly. She tried to respond but her mind was blank. As much as seeing him last night had been amazing, it had all felt so very surreal and in that bizarreness, she supposed it made her reaction to him and the situation more conceivable, and she had been ordinary hadn't she? But today was a lovely ordinary weekday and what could be more realistic than a weekday? A weekday was real, and nothing was more realistic than having homework and a school to get to. But why, when everything was back to reality, did she feel strange...?

He had been talking, she realised and she had missed everything he had said. There was a smile on his face, and this didn't help her situation _at all_-thoughts muddled together and her brain chemistry failed to operate competently and it was all from her lack of sleep, owing to having him enter her world once again. His smile faltered, he looked back at his Volvo and then at her car-which was letting out a series of hot clouds from its exhaust, parked neatly in the driveway and shaking lightly as the engine warmed up slowly. "I thought we could maybe..." he let the sentence fall into the air, smiling just the tiniest bit again, a strange almost worried smile and then looking back at his Volvo once more.

Her heart was in her throat and she was vaguely aware that she was holding something he had handed to her. She wanted to push her glasses up with her right hand, and that was when she felt the fabric. She looked down at it stupefied-her black sweater from so long ago, the faded one she had let him wear. He had returned it to her.

"If you want to go in your car, that's fine. I'll just... follow behind you" Edward said and she looked at him closely, trying to make sense of his words. The sun was shining behind him, tipping over the tall trees and rooftops and causing his pale face to be covered in shadows. His golden eyes glimmered just the tiniest bit too much and Angela had to look away, gazing back at her idling car in bemusement.

"Erm..." she began and then coughed the awkwardness out of her throat, looking at him timidly and composing herself as best as she could and not trying to dwell on why this felt like their first 'hello' ever "I didn't say hello, did I?" she smiled.

"No" Edward said abruptly, raising a full thick dark eyebrow "But I startled you, didn't I?"  
>"Only because I wasn't expecting you to be at my house!" Angela smiled and Edward relaxed minutely "You missed my dad by seconds. Oh, heavens... if he had seen you!"<br>"I was careful not to come while he was still here" Edward smiled a little more broadly, his white teeth glinting perfectly and her heart jumped right back into her throat "Your little brother almost thwarted me"  
>"Huh?" Angela tilted her head.<p>

"He thought he forgot his lunchbox and he was about to tell your father..." Edward's smile stuck in place, as though he had said too much. He shook his head twice, his hair catching the light in metallic bronze "It doesn't matter. I was careful but obviously I forgot _all_ about you _owning_ your _own_ car!"  
>"You <em>forgot<em> I own a car?" Angela raised an eyebrow.

"Yes" Edward said innocently "But I am here now. If you are comfortable enough with me..."  
>He stopped to look at her face, to look at the slight frown. She was about to say something, organising her thoughts and feelings. He waited patiently, watching her intensely.<p>

"It's just that..." Angela said, laughing nervously to take the bite of the truth "You know, you are erm... it's _strange. _As much as seeing you last night was beautiful... it's strange"

And a little scary, she admitted to herself. Maybe _a lot_ scary but there was something between them that couldn't submit to that fear just yet, the fear was less than this feeling. She thought it was like when she took the twins to Youth once, and they saw Abigail, an albino. It took three weeks for them to forget she was an albino and know her as Abigail and after that they became best buddies.

It was like knowing Edward all over again, getting past him being _something other_... and then maybe she would be able to see him as _just_ Edward once again.  
>"You still don't want to know everything?" he asked her.<p>

"You told me it was safer if I didn't know" she reminded him and he nodded. "Am I comfortable with you? Would it be so cruel of me to be ambiguous right this minute and tell you yes and no?"  
>"I think ambiguity would be more than I could hope for!" he told her laughing a little, the sound so soft and clear she wanted it to carry out "If you weren't comfortable with me, I would understand, of course, but I would be <em>hurt<em>. If you were comfortable with me, I would try to comprehend why you felt this way when you shouldn't and the elation I would feel would be felt by _two_ sides of me; the good and the bad, and I can't allow any hope to be given to the bad inside of me, you understand. But an ambiguity, Angela-this is so much more because it would mean you understand that I am not human, and I should be treated with caution!"  
>She cringed on <em>human <em>and said softly, staring at his pale hand "You _look_ human"  
>"I do, don't I?" his expression was composed.<p>

Did demons look human? None of the pictures, or images and paintings ever recorded showed any demon to look human. We were all said to be made in God's image, but Edward had to be an exact replica, such perfection...! What demon could ever be constructed this way by Satan? Or if the devil was so much the liar, then she had to lift her hat of to him for being so masterful in this creation that she had no chance of ever turning away from Edward, from the lie-for she wanted to believe the deception so badly.

She had a thousand questions, just like last night but she quelled their desire to be heard by Edward ferociously. As much as she wanted to know, she knew that there were certain things that could never be unlearnt and if it was as bad as he made it out to be...

She was cowardly refusing the knowledge because she was unsure on her own disposition. She didn't know herself, and not knowing herself made her certain she would do something drastic on both accounts of choice-turn from him or be so enthralled _with_ him, to such an extent that it would kill her.

"If you are used to your own independence, by all means" he smiled but she didn't return his smile, so lost in her own mind and equal joy and disorder "I can follow you"

"No, I can go with you..." she looked back at her car, then at Edward and then at her already locked up house. "I mean, _we_ can go _together_. Sure, of course"

"You can head over to my car, I will sort out your car" Edward said softly and walked past her swiftly to her car. She stood rooted to the spot for a second and then walked towards the Volvo. By the time she reached the passenger door, he was there.  
>"A little illustration" Edward said, opening the door while she reeled from his sudden appearance there "So you are never too comfortable with me-as much as it would hurt me, I really can't have you ditching the choice of ambiguity for total trust. I would never hurt you, Angela. Or pull you into any sort of darkness... but I can't be so selfish as to deceive you. You have to know, I am the first danger to you"<p>

She blinked at him, and then her heart resumed its jolting. She wanted to say something to denounce that, to wipe away his expression of severely engraved sadness-to tell him if he was her danger then she wanted to be his safety and they could cancel each other out.

"Don't you worry about it" he said ominously, watching her into the car, she wanted to ask about her car keys but that seemed like the most inconsequential question at present. She got in silently, looking up at him in wonder "Let us be but a girl and a boy heading to school"

"But a girl and a boy, huh?" she smiled beside herself and braved a little jab at him "Our Elizabethan theme seems to have stuck?"  
>"More than you know"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

Arriving in Edward Cullen's car was the worst way to arrive at Forks High, Angela realised. The moment she stuck her head out of the car, and swung her bag over her shoulder-she realised she had not thought her little friendship through as well as she should have, with regards to the mystery surrounding it over the past weeks and more especially with Edward's disappearance from Forks High and her own 'little sick days', and how all of this would affect the student body's imaginations. She was too concerned with words like _demon_, _angel_ and _trust_ to worry about the insipidness of society, forgetting completely how frightening human nature could be, its ferocity almost challenging a gorgeous mystic creature.

"Oh...Fiddlesticks!" she swore the moment Jessica did a double take to look at her. She could see the frown working over Jessica's features; she could feel the stares from some of the other children.

"Don't worry about them" Edward sighed, swinging his jacket over his shoulders and fluidly pushing his hands through the sleeves. He ran his long fingers through his hair once, looked at her with an impish crooked grin before walking ahead fluidly like the path he had chosen had been specially created for him alone and paved with golden bricks, "They don't know how lucky they are, not to be _jailed_ by me" he called behind to her, laughing.  
>"Jailed...!" Angela spluttered, letting her hair fall over once side of her face and peeking through to make sure not everyone had noticed her coming out of his car. She half-skipped to keep up with Edward's swaggering gait. "<em>Mister<em>, I will have you know that you are the one _jailed!"_

"Right... that's why you are tripping over yourself to keep up with me?" Edward sniggered and Angela's anger spiked abruptly, forgetting her shyness and fear of school.

"What was that lovely declaration last night?!" she murmured thoughtfully placing a finger on her chin "Something about how much you _like_ me?"

Of course she had over thought that revelation to the best of her capabilities and it had constituted heavily on her reason for failing to sleep but she was adamant to push it to the side, to not let it weigh too heavily over everything to do with Edward.

"I am sure I didn't word it so..." he frowned at her and she smiled satisfied "_One dimensionally. So... petty!_" "Ha!" Angela shook her head, reaching for his jacket and fisting it between his shoulder blades, attempting to slow him down but only being dragged a few steps until Edward decided to stop. She collided with his back and stumbled back, frowning and pouting and realising that they were by their Art History class, and that she had moved through the corridor without noticing a single stare. She could feel them on her back now, though, almost certain that if she turned around, the whole school including the headmaster would be crowded behind her and pointing an accusing finger at her.

"I never took you for being _conceited, _Angela" Edward turned around and leaned casually against the side of the wall, folding his arms over his chest and surveying her. "Revelling in the affections of another so gleefully"

"Oh, don't play the victim! And conceited? Me an egotist...? I must have picked it up from a very _bad influence_" she muttered, watching a group of seniors gawking at her and Edward.

"Funny!" Edward chuckled "But you know what's _really_ funny?"  
>"What!" she snapped irritated by the school, irritated by her oncoming interrogation from Jessica and irritated by Edward so suddenly and without proper explanation-that she was startled to remember that he was some super powered <em>other <em>being because right in that minute, he was back to the old Edward. Her _Edward_... and she had forgotten how to feel miserably confused like she had that morning.

"I had to be true to you about that feeling that was inside of me Angela, as much as I revealed so much to you from my core... understand that it was an exposure too much, and too dangerous. Affections fall under the same umbrella of danger, because they wouldn't lead to anything... lovely" his voice was husky and it pulled her eyes to his face. She met his eyes and gulped, her heart was clenching and unclenching and she was so sure it was because he was holding it, squeezing it and kneading it in that moment "Such serious talk!" He used his laughter to wave away the tenseness in the air before continuing playfully "But it was you, Miss, who declared certain things to me _first_"  
>"I did no such thing!" she breathed, blinking quickly, afraid so suddenly of him disappearing from her sights that she blinked rapidly and feared the nanosecond of darkness the action gave. "I never said such... <em>anything<em> like that"

"You told me with your lips" he said "You told me with your kiss"

She blanched; he leaned back on the wall again and closed his eyes. She thought he should be smiling with such a boastful revelation about her, a reminder to her of how much deeper their connection was before everything had fallen to shreds but instead his expression was grim. It hadn't been about evening the playing field; saving his own pride after she had cruelly provoked his feelings in fear of her own (again she asked herself why she was cruel to this one being, over anyone else).

"And I told you..." he said eventually, his clear smooth voice cutting through the increasing chatter of children filling the corridor. "That revelation of how much you enthral me is dangerous to us both. And so was your kiss"  
>"You mean <em>our<em> kiss" she whispered, taking a step forward, not wanting anyone to 'accidentally' hear her. She felt an unaccountable heat spreading over her skin, like a blanket and her heart had never been through so much battling she thought, were there was no terror or exhilaration. Just Edward...

"We should never have touched, Angela. Affection is danger, do you know what concrete affection could do...?" he opened his eyes and she had to look away because she saw how much he meant that. "Not a brush of the hand, a nudge... not even a handshake. Your kiss sealed everything for me"

"Right" she laughed nervously, again taking the bite of a painful truth "Like my kiss was _your first_"

"The first one that I have ever felt" he said, she could feel his gaze on the side of her head burning and daring her too look at him. There was a stretch of silence, a moment for her to realise that half the school knew she had arrived with Edward. A few of her classmates entered the classroom with an entry fee of a gawk and an incredulous look her way, obviously noting her severe tensed form standing opposite a languidly posed Edward.

"Well, it's good we discussed all of that-now we know that... touching is bad, but talking is fine" she nodded her head and ignored the pitch in her voice as well as Edward's raised eyebrow and curious gaze "You know, discussing it will help to never wonder or think about that again"  
>"Right" Edward smiled hopelessly "We shall never think about it again"<br>"Absolutely" she smiled fully, her cheeks straining with the manic grin.

"Absolutely" he returned her smile, but somehow managed to look sane.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

There are infinite justifications for someone to miss another being and just as many answers to questions relating to this. All arising from the intensities of sentiments that were once perceived subtle. Such emotions and attachment for another person, the world could not contain such affection on both accounts of understanding-the physical and tangibility of _justification _and _answer._ I knew none of them would be adequate-not justification and not answer and if creativity allowed and I combined it to one loaded mass of justified reasoning, it would still fall short in description of what it was like to feel for one singular being.

How do you answer such a question, justify such an action-all arriving from missing someone currently occupying the immediate space by your side? To miss them simply because you were separated by conscious, such a trivial thing and your misery and yearning aggravated further by the individual, as they audaciously kept their gaze from you? How dare they keep eyes hidden, eyelids shut and thoughts a lethargic droning of incomprehensible secrets? How could such simple symptoms as a 'nap' coax such emotions that reality and vivid dreams merged and you found yourself by their death bed so suddenly! There they lay, so far away and threatening to part from you forever and they were cruelly holding your sanity at ransom. They were insisting you witness their departure and grieve their failing breath.

How could such feelings swell and pull from witnessing a nap!

She was asleep on the table, her head resting on her hand and hair spilling over her arm. I was angry at her for leaving me, going to a place I could only witness from the outside and never be able to join her-her dreams. I was desperate and it terrified me. Any second could be her telling me she was rescinding her initial choice and I should be on my way, some direction opposite to her. In all my desperation, I was a tyrant unable to be satisfied with having her only in the waking world but I had neither the ability nor the authority to disturb her sleep. I was captivated by her face, her mouth... oh; things analysed countless times and at great length but that somehow always evoked a mixture of emotions in me on every repeated account.

Maybe I was still the proud creature, maybe in some vague disastrous way and in this fairytale; the creature had a huntsman threatening to capture it. She was my huntsman, and maybe I was disillusioned by my pride to fight and accept in equal successions that she had put me in a cage, painted the bars green with her artful skill and thus, with green bars, I believed I was still free in the woods until I wished to stray further.

My pride, oh Angela, what you have done to a once lonely vampire!

She was my pride in living form at one turn and it was the sorted of conceited temperament that a person _knows_ they own but has enough sensibility to repress it for fear of bringing too much attention to its vain nature. And she was my humility, the agent that balanced my disconnection to the world due to an elevated mind and my own disregard for the entire world around me, for anything other than my own pain and sorrow or anything that didn't relate to it

And as she was pride and humility, and as there were many questions and actions in the world, she would encompass all _answers _and _justifications _to my immortality fully and beyond adequacy.

If I had failed to see the light at the end of my tunnel, simply because heaven was for the truly dead-then I saw it in Angela, surely she was the light for the repenting?

So young and so precious, so dangerously ignorant that while she lay in a bed of childish infatuation (that she was steadfastly attempting to tame), I was cemented in a rapturous affection that could only increase with time. A kiss in the meadow was enough a prized jewel to me as remaining in her life-both which she had given freely and fervently. A kiss in the meadow by such a precious mouth, luscious and decadent...

"...Huh?" she blinked and I didn't give her the civility of pretending not to have been staring. She blushed and I thirsted slightly before her hand touched her face and her cheeks tinged an explicit red and eyes widened "I was drooling, wasn't I?" her voice was loaded in sultry sleep gravel.

"Yes, you were most _definitely_ drooling" I told her and in her mortification at having her drooling techniques discovered, she failed to return her discomfort with her customary teasing and jabbing at me. It seemed, she was embarrassed beyond retaliation.

She pursed her mouth and righted herself in her seat, face still glowing and dribble still glistening on her chin and as well as the table top-she had only freed her cheek of saliva.

"Stop laughing at me" she grumbled and my smile turned into a full blown grin. I was unable to cover my teeth with the strain of humour and an abrupt fear spread over me-I may frighten her, she may remember the other side of her ambiguity in finding ease with being around me and run screaming out of the classroom... "Edward!" she threatened and the fear slid away, almost as though it had never been there.

"You missed some" I chuckled and she went for the other cheek "Let me..." I sighed, reaching an excited hand for her face slowly. She stilled, gulped and thoughts spluttered as I held her face steadily and wiped her chin with the sleeve of my jacket, the three finger tips in contact with her jaw burning and throbbing from the flimsy restrictions I gave them to not wonder over her face and trace every subtle plane and silky inch of skin.

She was unabashedly staring at me, mortification and nerves gone. I was cowardly concentrating on her chin, refusing to meet her eyes or react to her thoughts on how _beautiful_ I was. Damned this beauty... that jealousy for Ben and his normal _barely there _attractiveness came over me hard. Ben wouldn't have to be some kind of over zealous control freak who couldn't allow his thoughts to wonder... Ben would be allowed to be infatuated beyond description freely and not look for excuses to touch someone when they shouldn't because they had very little control on the intrinsic monster that was vampirism... Blood? Blood be damned, there were other addictions that I would never be able to fix unless I was brave enough to go under Tanya's tutelage. A pity and a blessing that Angela was not nearly so unimportant for me to find myself in such a desperate situation, such a cowardly place...

"Now, how will men remain valiant and noble in the world, dear Angela" I murmured "If Pride and Humility walks around with drool?"

"Oh, forget you!" she said groggily, pushing my hand away-I allowed the motion, trying not to add this to my tally on how many times she and I had touched, before lunch.

"Ill have you know..." she said sternly, wiping the shiny table top with her beanie "I don't appreciate you waking me up!"  
>"I didn't wake you up!" I said in disbelief and she did her side frown.<p>

"You were staring" she stated "Staring is rude! Especially if someone is sleeping!"  
>"You couldn't <em>see<em> that I was staring!"

"I could feel you staring!" she countered "Anyhow, its common sleep etiquette; no staring"  
>"I didn't know that" I tried to keep a serious face-after all, she was entirely serious and a very dangerous angel when she was embarrassed... by me.<p>

She raised a sceptical elegant eyebrow.

"Can you blame me for not knowing such things?" I asked her "Sleep etiquette? Really?"

"Well, anyway, you pulled me out of a good dream" she grumbled, trying to focus her mind back to the classroom and staring at Ms Clearwater hiding behind her book by her table

"Trust me Angela" I sighed "Reality is better"

Xx~xx~xX

"So she is cool?" Emmett asked. He frowned at his opponent-Andy Good-and the kid blanched, gripping his racket too tightly and sweating before we had even begun playing badminton. We were having separate P.E, much to my chagrin. It felt like any amount of separation could spell trouble for me, could whisk her affections away from me. I looked over to my left and sighed, as long as Ben was in my sights I had nothing to worry about.

Where she was, there was no one murmuring to her otherwise about her allowing me to be a mild attachment. Maybe she was thinking of me...

"Are you going to answer me!?" Emmett growled, whacking the birdie with too much force (without ever once looking at it). It flew over Andy Good's head, over Michael North and straight into the wall-a good few feet at the back.

"Dude, you are going to get that right?" Michael braved, staring back at the other end of the gymnasium, squinting his eyes for the bit of plastic.

"No" Emmett said, never looking at him. "_You_ are going to get that... Dude" and with no further argument, Michael swallowed his pride and grumbled away in search of the birdie.

"Mildly cool" I sighed, twirling the racket. "I don't know, she is... dealing. We are establishing little rules and the such"  
>"So you aren't going to tell her?"<br>"Tell her what, that I am..." I looked at Andy and his eyes widened. He looked back at his partner-who was still searching for the birdie-and then back at Emmett and I watching him before gulping and breathing something that translated to him going to help Michael.

"Tell her that I am a vampire?" I asked Emmett when Andy had broken into a half skip towards Michael, his thoughts a flurry of curses at being stuck with the Cullen Brothers. "No, I don't think I will be doing that"  
>"She will figure it out, you know" Emmett said, pursing his lips.<p>

"Only if she wants to" I murmured, smiling. "And she doesn't want to. She doesn't..."  
>"She doesn't care?" Emmett guffawed and my smile slid of my face.<p>

"No, she cares. She just doesn't want to care" I sighed. "I have to be careful, that's all Em"

"Careful, what... You mean not to kill her?" he asked and I scowled at him.

"There are other ways to hurt a human without killing them!" I hissed at him. "In most instances, contact with the living dead drives them mad"  
>"How many humans have been in contact with us?" Emmett grinned "All those schools? Well, they aren't mad are they?"<br>"That's different" I told him sternly "They didn't know what we were"  
>"You just said she doesn't know!"<br>"She knows, she just doesn't have a word for it!"

"So she knows you drink blood?" Emmett asked and my scowl deepened. Andy and Michael were ambling towards us, praying the bell would go off and they wouldn't have to endure us any longer.

"No" I said. That was one thing Angela didn't know about, and her not knowing seemed to keep the word vampire at bay, but demon and angel had become her favourite topic. But at this point, being thought of as a vampire seemed infinitely worse than a demon... and maybe I was only biased on the initial, for weren't they one and the same?

"She knows you growl, move like light and are super strong" Emmett asked and I nodded. "So she is your..."  
>"No, my friend" I corrected him quickly, avoiding his gaze as I said this. "There is a little bit of an 'other' emotion, but it can hardly be blamed for existing"<br>"It's what got you to take her to the meadow to begin with"

"Exactly" I said grimly "And its what almost cost her life. Emmett, I know exactly what I feel for her and I can't go back from it... I can't ignore it or banish it or be away from it..."

"You love her" he said simply and I frowned at him. Was everyone going to undervalue this war inside of me into something easily encompassed in one word? _Love_ and _Like_, such petty dismal adjectives! "I can see it when you talk about her" he shrugged his shoulders fuelling my distaste at him treating my immortality changing emotion like nothing but a common affliction, I may as well have caught the flu... "Jazz will see it too. They all will"

"I can't tell her" I repeated "You know the laws; you know the allure of immortality to humans... I can't tell her"  
>"You don't have to tell her about the vampirism, Edward" Emmett sighed. The bell went off and Andy and Michael ran off so fast they knocked two slow moving children down.<p>

"But how can she know me..." I began and Emmett laughed.

"You don't have to tell her about the vampirism, Edward" he chuckled "But hell, you can tell her everything about your telepathic depressing know it all self with a fetish for soliloquy's that somehow always manage to have and audience. Now, if you would excuse me... I have a make out session to get to"

Xx~xx~xX

It had to be the best day of my existence.

I was mildly concerned about the interrogation I would get at home, frustrated by Rosalie and irritated by Alice but it was all in the background.

I couldn't have driven her back to her home slower.

"I am sorry again" I said, trying to remain relaxed but failing. She didn't notice my tensed form staring out the window, no; she wouldn't know that a vampire didn't need to be staring out the windscreen.

"Its okay" she sighed "But about what, this time?"  
>"About disturbing your sleep" I said, smiling at her. "You see, sleep... the notion of it and its technicalities, they tend to fascinate me"<br>"Which part?" she asked.

"The dreaming part" I said.

"Don't worry about my good dream" she laughed. "I am sure I will have another one today"  
>"You think dreaming about being lost in a maze is a good dream?" I asked her and her eyes went round, mouth hanging open "Your dream was bordering on nightmarish, how you were calling out for someone to find you"<br>"I was..." her heart was stuttering and I realised that maybe I had gone about mentioning my telepathy in the wrong way... "I was sleep talking?" or maybe she had just about misunderstood me in all the right ways.

"You were talking in your dream" I explained.

"You see dreams?" she asked, eyes still wide and mind trying to keep up with the revelations and her own chagrin.

"I hear thoughts"  
>"Right" she tried to sound sceptically but somehow this all was more tangible in acceptance then anything else over the last few weeks. Thoughts, the word played out in her mind. The way people thought, the way people took in information.<p>

She was taking in too much information, she decided. She wasn't about to try and comprehend it immediately.

"Today was..." she began and then looked at me from the corner of her eye, daring me to say her thoughts out loud.

"Interesting" I took the bait and she groaned, her head dropping to the dashboard theatrically

"You hear thoughts!" she grumbled. "Argh! That is almost as worse as having Jessica hate me"  
>"How is that worse than that!" I frowned. "Lauren and Jessica are idiots. Selfish ones. The worst kind, if you didn't know"<br>"Jessica and I go way back" Angela sighed. "So you know what I am thinking?"  
>"Sometimes" I offered and she raised an eyebrow. "Okay, <em>most<em> of the time. But you are so indecisive. I don't really... wait on your thoughts, I rather your words"

"That's very nice of you" she scoffed. "Such a considerate _eavesdropper"_

"I can't help it. I can't switch it off. I try, Angela, not to eavesdrop" I told her as clearly as I could. She knew I was telling the truth somehow and I released a breath. What she was struggling with was the possibility that I knew she was still battling with my _not_ being human and this caused her guilt, that I knew of her feelings detail past our kiss this caused her a sense of vulnerability and that I would know when she felt certain things made her apprehensive for any future time with me.

"It wasn't so bad" I tried to change the subject, I was yet to meet a being who appreciated my having telepathy. "Arriving with me?"

"Hmm" she sighed, she was tired. She had barely slept after I had come back to her from Alaska and her power nap in Art was not very productive to her resting "It wasn't too bad only because half the school had their attention absorbed by the new girl"

"Children and shiny things" I smiled at her and she smiled back freely. I felt that jolt, the feeling of formality, coming over us. She wouldn't look away, and I was under her control-vampire predator that I was, she had me frozen with her gaze like a rabbit in the headlights. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to touch her so suddenly that I stopped moving altogether, fearing I would fling myself at her from the strain of the emotion.

"The guys weren't so bad..." she blinked and I gained some control once more "Erm, the girl only has Mike and Tyler of my back. Jessica and Lauren, after lunch... well... they are livid. Tomorrow is our P.E, and they are going to be cruel. I know it"  
>"I won't let them" I all but growled, the huskiness of my voice shocking her.<p>

"You won't..." she stammered. "I mean, you won't hurt them?"  
>"Hmm" I pretended to think and she frowned, smacking my arm with such gentle anger. That would put our total of touches to an even number of fifty.<p>

"Edward, you wont?!" she insisted and I smiled, leaning back in my chair.

"I won't hurt them if you don't want me too"

"Don't say it like that!" she hissed "You aren't some monster, even if you insist on reminding me at every turn. There is a part of you that is good and its so much more than the... growling and snarling"  
>It was the first item she had acknowledged the sounds I had emitted that had scared her so thoroughly. I remained silent.<p>

"Can I pick you up again, tomorrow?" I asked her instead. She smiled a little and looked at me challengingly.

"How about I pick you up?" she asked "And maybe your siblings too"  
>"Are you worried we are going to look like we are dating?" I dared and she blushed crimson. "Stop worrying about everyone else, Angela."<p>

"I wasn't thinking that" she argued "That wasn't what I was..."  
>"It doesn't matter" I cut her and she frowned, taking in a slow calming breath.<p>

"So, is the offer valid then?" she asked softly "Can I pick you up?"  
>"Not my siblings, just me" I said "And I will be here. You don't have to come to my house"<br>"Why, on both accounts?"

"Not all of my siblings agree with... this" I said carefully "And... it would be faster for me to just run here in the morning than spend the whole evening anticipating your arrival, which would be prolonged by getting lost if we factor your _atrocious_ sense of direction"

"They don't agree?" she said thoughtfully "But they came, in the meadow, and Alice... she told Jess off for me?"  
>"Alice is always on my side, even when I want her to butt out" I sighed. "I'll see you in the morning then"<br>"You won't be standing like an idiot in the centre of my lawn like last time?" she teased.

"No, not in the centre" I laughed, watching pained as she got out of the car and wondering if I was going to manage to stay away the _whole_ night "I'll be daring, and try for off-centre this time?"


	19. The Darkness Within

**The Darkness Within**

**THE DARK FOREST, THE DARK WOLF, THE DARK HEART**

**Xx~xx~xX**

She was trying hard not to think about me... trying not to wonder if I was outside, if I was indeed standing off centre on the lawn and if I could hear her preparing to take a shower. She was wondering if I could only hear thoughts and not see images, and as she wondered this... she made an effort not to look or notice herself as she undressed and hopped into the shower.

The same effort was given while getting dressed.

As soon as she was done buttoning her blouse, a lithely sprung up the side of her house and perched for a second by her window, unlatching it with a deft nudge and entering and closing the window without her ever hearing a single sound. I waited patiently behind her as she busied herself with tying the laces of her sneakers and when she stood up and looked into the mirror finally-I grinned from behind her.

"Hey!" she screeched, jumping back into me before swerving to her left and turning to glare at me, casting her shut window an accusing look "Tell me you were not in here the whole time!"  
>"I wasn't in here the whole time" I said solemnly.<p>

"You..." she pointed at the window. "How did you..."  
>"You'll get used to it" I sighed, falling back onto her unmade bed and tucking my hands behind my head. Her soft scent enveloped me, and when I closed my eyes, I could remember her tossing and almost falling out off her bed from last night. I was smiling at the memory and she was extremely troubled by the 'how' in which I came into her room and if I was being honest about not being in there the whole time.<p>

"I am not a ghost" I said "You can eliminate that. And I cannot turn invisible, although I can be very unnoticeable and besides; if I could turn invisible I still wouldn't hang around to watch you dress or undress... it isn't _dignified_, nor would I allow myself to be pulled in to such discourteousness for simple want of quenching my imagination and lastly... Carlisle brought me up better!"

"Quenching your imagination?" she raised an eyebrow.

"I have a fascination with _birthmarks_" I lied.

"I have two" she said and then quickly-she had been working on this theory while making the twin's breakfast-she thought about something totally different and yet entirely related as not to strain herself. She thought about whether I had birthmarks, and then she got entirely carried away.

I watched her gleefully as she struggled to hold her own twinging thoughts on _her _birthmarks but failed to restrain her imagination from roving all over my body on where I could have a birthmark, if I did have one at all.

"Where would they be?" I asked her softly "Maybe you and I have similar birthmarks?"  
>"Where is yours?" she asked "Maybe... that is where mine is. But on my body. of course"<br>"Of course" I grinned evilly at her and she scowled and pouted and looked to sinfully adorable trying to steer away from the question on what was under my sweater, my shirt, my vest... all while leaving my pants out of her curiosity.

"Okay, I can't take it, I have a birthmark on my ass!" she squeaked and then covered her mouth with her hand like the word 'ass' had burnt her tongue. She let out a slew of fast moving thoughts on how sorry she was for playing along to my mind games (honestly, mind games with a telepath), wondering if I had a birthmark on my derrière too and then apologising all over again... all while hoping my telepathy was limited to audio and not visual.

"Maybe we shout talk about the telepathy?" I asked her and she nodded, still covering her mouth. I walked over slowly to her and touched her hand lightly, nudging my finger over the hot skin of her hand and prying the tiny hand from her face and letting it fall before the heat from it killed my control. "Take a sweet, Ms Applebottom" I chuckled, pointing at her unmade bed.

She pouted and waited for me to speak. I was enjoying it all too much, and she was making it too easy to forget that she wasn't too know I was a vampire just yet (hopefully ever) and that her and I had limits that we had agreed upon. I wanted to scoop her in my arms and bounce her on my knees for being so _absurdly beautiful and awkward!_

"I see into the mind" I said trying to control my manic joy and glee, and forcing a serious expression on my face.

"Images" she whispered. I nodded and she groaned. "You saw my butt!" she accused and I laughed.

"You should have dropped it instead of trying to poke at my talent for holes!" I pointed a finger at her too and her vexation increased. "And might I add, it was entirely nonsexual..."  
>"Only because you were seeing it from my mind!" she maintained, her eyebrows bunching and bowing. "And it was my ten year old bum!"<br>"Is it to say you haven't viewed your own bum for six years?" I asked her and her eyes widened.

"You...!" she got up violently and poked my chest hard, leaving a soft warm tingling where she touched.

"The point is..." I dropped my jesting, all this talk of her bum was not going to be good for me when I was alone "I am not hanging around waiting on secrets and nude shots" I cringed as I said this and she did too.

"But you hear everything?" she asked.

"No, not everything... like right now, as you speak and your voice overlaps your thoughts..." I said and then took a step towards her deliberately, her eyes on my face and mine on hers "Or when you aren't focusing on anything in particular, your thoughts like wild rabbits running in each direction and I am the dog chasing after all of them at the same time..."  
>"You won't catch a single one if you can't concentrate on one" she said softly and I nodded stopping in front of her. I dropped to my knees, startling her and took her small foot in mine and redid her botched job of tying her shoelaces thanks to worrying about the perverse capabilities of telepathy.<p>

"There are little rules I live by, when it comes to my telepathy" I told her, staring at the exposed two centimetres of skin between the hem of her jean leg and the tops of her sneakers-where her ankle was soft and sensitive. I got up quickly and let out a breath, looking out the window and trying to catch the time. We had less than fifteen minutes to get to school.

"Like no listening when people are changing?" she teased.

"I just concentrate on something else... and you would be surprised how much more complex and distracting my own thoughts can be in comparison to any other beings" I said "I neglect them so often that they become like a labyrinth I can spend hours wandering in... but I can't stay in there for too long. I wont ever come out"  
>"You fear your own thoughts?" she smiled, a confusing shyness coming over her.<p>

"Yes, infinitely more than any other being"  
>"Why?"<p>

"Because..." I sighed; picking up her bag-mine was already in her car. I moved to the door and she paused, looking to her bed anxiously. I placed the bag on the side of the door frame and hurried over to the bed and made it while she looked from the door to the bed in confusion. "There, let's go?"  
>"That was weird!" she blurted, pointing at the bed. "I don't think I can ever get used to that!"<br>"Would you like it for me to be slower?" I asked her.

"Like me?" she scowled, always finding something to irritate her in everything I said.

"Like a human" I laughed and she frowned. She hated it when I reminded her I wasn't human, she wanted to forget. "You can't forget that I am not human, Angela. That would be dangerous to both of us"

"You made my bed wrong" she said and I frowned at her. I made it precisely as I had always seen her in it. "You forgot to put Bob on his thrown, in the middle of my pillows" she reached over and picked her teddy bear, placing it on its 'thrown'.

Of course, I had always seen her already inside her bed... the teddy bear either forgotten and thrown on the floor or cuddled inside the blankets with her.

"Now, we can go" she sighed, hurrying over to me and taking her bag from me "And so _you _don't forget... I may be human, but I can very much carry my own bag!"

Xx~xx~xX

"You were telling me why your thoughts scare you more than any other being?" she asked as I parked the car next to Emmett's jeep. The whole ride had consisted of her anger at my insisting on driving her car, and then her anger at my pushing her car to the limit speed wise-her tone came out impatient as she asked this, still angry and still trying not to forgive me for 'bullying' her.

"I am part monster" I said, the easy explanation. Who wanted to go through decades of persistent conflicts in my character, and all the persistent conflicts in my actions that came with that! "Sure, I am sitting here with you feeling nothing but the goodness of the world... but when I am alone, its nothing but darkness. And when I am alone in my mind, it can turn into hell"

"That sounds torturous" Angela said almost curtly, but she was failing to hide the intensity of her concern on that brash self analysis in her thoughts tone. "Shall we go in then?" she asked me, watching as the children hurried into the school building, the bell had gone.

"You know what..." I sighed, leaning back in her drivers seat "I think first period classes really aren't for me"  
>"But our biology classes are together!" she stressed.<p>

"Precisely" I laughed. "I have already struggled with you about showering, let's not let Biology get in the way too?"  
>"Oh, you can be such a right...!"<br>"Jerk?" I offered.

"No, _child_" she snapped and slammed her own car door and stormed into Forks High.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

She wasn't too late, even though she had stopped by the water fountain and prayed for Edward to be following her. Praying he had been joking as only he knew how to; _shoddily and terribly_, and with such little detail that it always felt as some pompous indecipherable riddle than anything that was supposed to be remotely humorous.

His tall form had not glided through the throng of dithering students with a top of ego held bronze, a face with a knowing crooked grin and eyes that saw right through her and turned her into a little school girl.

"What am I thinking!" she laughed at herself, entering the Biology lab "I am an indecisive school girl, aren't I!"

Everyone was excited about something, she had missed that bit-it seemed their professor had managed to be early today and given instruction already. She sat down stiffly and looked around her at the excited mass that was her classmates when she spotted her, Isabella Swan. She was seated silently in a rough circle consisting of all the most important people in their grade, watching with mild interest as they over worked themselves to entertain her.

Their eyes met and Angela instinctively snapped her head to the front and stared at the board and sighed-the instructions were written in chalk across. They were blood typing today...

"Angela!" someone was calling. She pretended not to hear for a second, her courtesy didn't allow her to ignore the voice a second time. "Angela!"  
>Mike Newton rushed in front of her table; his face glowing with what she could only presume was excitement at having no writing work per say today. He slid over the smooth desk theatrically and leaned in so his face was inches from hers and she was forced to look into his startlingly pretty blue eyes.<p>

"Angela, I need a favour!" he breathed "We are all paired up, and it would be too obvious if I broke of from Jessica for Bella... you know what I mean?"  
>"Erm, no" she said stiffly.<p>

"I mean, I like her..." Mike explained and looked back at his obnoxious group of devotees before explaining further in a more conspiratorial tone as though he was bequeathing Angela with information capable of destroying nations "Isabella... I like her and I want to date her"  
>She smiled at 'want to date her'. She didn't know whether she was impressed with Mike's self assuredness or disgusted by the 'she woman, mine' cave man tenor his tone suggested.<p>

"So what do you need from me that you couldn't get Jessica or Lauren to do?" she hadn't meant to sound... mean, but Edward had left her disappointed and irritated. Being away from him always worked up a worry in her, something indescribable... like he was in danger, like he needed taking care of and she was the only one who knew how... or maybe like she wanted to stare at his gorgeous face like an idiot...

"Those two?" Mike frowned, looking back at his table, this time with contentment "Talk about making it hard for a guy, you know what I mean!?"  
>No, she didn't know what he meant and was concerned that he thought she should-she wasn't a guy, was she? She kept her mouth shut and ignored a little voice in her mind reminding her that she was impossibly rude to a dangerous Edward and terrified of her very normal and petty school peers.<p>

"Hey, Isabella!" Mike called suddenly, waving behind Angela to Isabella-who responded with a weary 'It's Bella, Mike'. "I found you a partner!"

"I didn't agree, Mike" Angela said coolly and Mike looked at her empty side and raised an eyebrow

"Cullen isn't here and the professor said we would be doing it in two's?" he said "Look, don't worry about being my wingman... I'll be sitting right behind you and I can handle my business"  
>Angela frowned at wingman and business but remained silent. Isabella was standing beside her, patiently waiting for Angela to acknowledge her.<p>

"Hi, Bella" Angela said stonily, frowning at Mike-who didn't notice or was too _important _to care.

"Finally, someone who gets my name right!" Bella laughed, touching Angela's arm.

"I thought your name was Isabella?" Mike said anxiously "That's what Tyler told me! Sabotage man, I knew it had to be... erm, Giselle. You look like a Gisele. Is your name Gisele?"  
>Angela watched all this with unwanted humour.<p>

"It is Isabella" Bella said coolly, moving behind Angela and taking the seat that was supposed to have been Edward's "I just prefer Bella. It stops my name from sounding so... soap opera like"

"Oh?" Mike's expression suggested he had forgotten he had given Bella another name to replace the one he wasn't sure on. "I will be right behind you, Phoenix, so you wont feel left out"

And with that, Mike disappeared to convince Eric to join him on the desk behind Angela and Bella.

"I was really hoping it would be you" Bella sighed, taking her stationery out of her bag "Jessica talks too much and Lauren..."  
>"Can be very scary" Angela offered and Bella smiled.<p>

"Why don't you sit with those guys anyway?" Bella sighed, scooting closer to Angela on her stool.

"We aren't really... a group" Angela tried "Or more like, I am not really in their group. Or any group"

"Jessica says you hang out with Edward" Bella's tone dropped and a definite blush spread over her cheeks. Angela merely nodded to this and focused herself on drawing loops in her pad. She could hear the commotion behind them as Tyler insisted on taking Eric's place beside Mike...

"I was supposed to be here like three weeks ago or so" Bella sighed "But my mum, oh she is such a scatter brain!"  
>"Erm..."<br>"Anyway, it sucks coming when everyone is so settled" Bella continued wistfully.

"But you settled in with Jess and Mike?"

"Yeah, I suppose" Bella brushed the question of quickly "And you? You seem very close to the Cullen's"  
>"The Cullen's?!" Angela guffawed "No, not the Cullen's. They like to keep to themselves, and there is nothing wrong with that kind of thing"<br>"But Jessica said you and Edward have been to each others houses" Bella pressed.

"Jessica tends to get her information wrong" Angela said tetchily "Edward was at my house, we were doing a project. An art one... he is my partner for the duration of the semester in Art, for any projects"

"So why isn't he here?" Bella asked "Jess said he would be"  
>"You asked a lot of questions about him?" Angela asked Bella and Bella shrugged, waiting for Angela to answer her question with large severe brown eyes.<p>

"He... well, he can be quite..." Angela struggled to find a word that wasn't snob or brat and opted for "Indulged in life"

"What do you mean?" Bella asked, her eyes absorbed.

"I mean to say..." Angela said absently "He is very... impulsive and abrupt. He basically dumped this class because... he felt it was... all too much time to spend in it"

"That doesn't make sense" Bella frowned at her.

"He never does" Angela sighed, almost in relief as the professor entered and blood typing begun.

Xx~xx~xX

"...don't you think you should have told the professor you have a thing about blood before you pricked your finger!" Angela hissed, wiping Bella's index finger and filled with anxiety when the blushing girl turned a pasty grey colour.

"I thought I could manage it" Bella said in a tiny voice.

"Sir!" Angela raised her hand quickly and the middle aged man, who had been entirely excited about his lesson, looked at her with annoyance which deepened when Bella let her head fall on the table top with a heavy thud.

"Take her to the nurse" the Professor said, frowning at Bella's head with great dislike "There is always one in every lesson"  
>"Jess!" Angela called waving at Jessica-who immediately let the left side of the class to come over to the right, where <em>Mike<em> and Tyler were tugging at Bella's jersey and inquiring why she was taking a nap. "Bella is ill, she needs to go to the nurse"

"Oh, oh!" Jessica's eyes turned bright "Of course, I'll take her!"  
>"N..." Bella groaned, lifting her head heavily and looking at Angela with unfocused eyes "No, Angela... please, take me?"<br>"Angela?!" Jessica, Mike and Tyler spat her name out with shock and indignation.

"No, really... Jessica is good at these kind of things" Angela tried to persuade Bella but Bella shook her head, mahogany hair waving slightly and some overpowering strawberry scent attacking Angela with the motion. "I am not very..."  
>"Jessica and Tyler still have to fill out their sheets" Bella sighed, already rising from her seat and surveying her weirdly still bleeding index finger. "If it would help... Mike would like to come, wouldn't you Mike"<br>Mike nodded his head enthusiastically and the whole thing was disturbing; the 'Mike, wouldn't like to come, wouldn't you Mike' felt too... puppy-dog-going-for-a-walk and Mike's own spastic nodding of the head did not help the disposition of the situation. Mike came round and took Bella's bag, giving Tyler a quick smirk before leading them out of the lab with an air of someone who had just been picked the numbers they were sure would win the lotto.

Xx~xx~xX

She was deliberately walking slowly and leisurely behind them, watching as Mike wound his hand around Bella's waist and Bella allowed the motion besides giving off some message that suggested she wasn't interested in Mike. This, Angela thought, was why she hated the high school monarchy system. Bella was about to start a war with Jessica about Mike-who always fell into second place after Jessica's infatuation with Edward-and Jessica being Jessica would pull Lauren into the whole thing by pointing out that Tyler liked Bella too.

She thought about warning Bella about what type of war she was about to introduce onto poor boring Forks High, but then... she realised that such a war would be beneficial to her and her crazy strange friendship with Edward Cullen-who liked to walk on the wild side and come to school in one car, insisting on carrying her bag and sending rumours running wild in Forks High.

Maybe, just maybe, Isabella would pull everyone's attention away from the Cullen's most beautiful and single sibling and no one would notice how _bizarre _it was that she was his only friend... that she spoke to him at lunch and they bickered in English and Art...

Isabella was god sent, Angela thought. Isabella would make everyone forget about Edward...

"Cullen!" Mike hissed, stopping abruptly and gripping Bella possessively. Angela had a sudden bizarre thought that Mike had contracted telepathy too, her mouth nagging open and eyes wide and disbelieving but then, she was the top of bronze ahead of Mike and Bella and comprehension hit her. She made no move to go forward for a second, bewildered by the whole situation.

"I got this, Cullen!" Mike said brusquely and took two steps forward but Edward remained stationary. Angela hurried to catch up to Mike and Bella, standing beside Bella and finally trying to help, when she saw Edward clearly and at the same time... with no recognition.

"Cullen!" Mike growled and Edward took one deliberate silent step. His eyes, which had been warm and filled with childish joy this morning... were cold and hard, staring intently at Bella with such a terrifying raw violence that made Angela's insides shudder. He didn't seem to see her, he didn't seem to see Mike... he didn't seem to know he was there with anyone besides Bella.

"Hello" Bella squeaked shyly and Edward took another step. Angela could feel her heart thudding, everything about this moment was wrong and Mike and Bella had no chance of knowing this because they had not been in the meadow...

"It's blood typing" Bella said indicatively, rolling her eyes and trying for flirtatious but the scene was all wrong for such ambitions. Mike was rolling off aggression and trying to lodge her into his ribs and Angela was as still as a statue while Edward's eyes were fixed on Bella's face with ghoulish hunger. That was when Bella raised her hand and curled all the other fingers so her index finger remained, tipped with a single dollop of crimson "I don't do blood, you see" Bella explained, fluttering eyelashes "It makes me _sick_"

His eyes snapped at the finger, he made a quick imperceptible movement forward and Mike released Bella in fright, taking two steps back as a violent thunder rolled from somewhere in Edward's chest. Angela didn't know why the fear she felt was there, she didn't know why her fear was not for Bella; who was the only thing that Edward seemed to believe existed in his world in that dreadful long moment-he had to be back in his mind, lost in a dark labyrinth! But she embraced it, the fear that was not for the girl in the sights of the boy who wasn't human, she embraced the fear she felt for Edward and stood almost startling quickly in front of Bella to save him from _something_.

He had not been close to them at all, a few feet away, but that short rapid second that she had positioned herself in front of Bella almost instinctively... had brought him right in front of her so she rammed into his stone hard chest and bumped back into Bella when she drowned in his hungry cold gaze. Her heart was in her throat and she had never hated it more, her eyes were welling up because his eyes pierced into hers painfully and this time... he wasn't seeing right into her... it was like he didn't know her. He didn't recognise her, and it hurt so badly that when he said;

"Angela?" with such disorder and perplexity, staring around him with petrified conjecture, the tears _did_ fall but by the time she had blinked them completely free... he had disappeared from the cold corridor.

Xx~xx~xX

"Where did that freak go!" Mike demanded, roughly moving beside Angela before tenderly holding Bella by the waist once more. "Oh, God... he just thinks he can walk in on his bloody Porsche..."  
>"One cannot walk in on a bloody Porsche" Angela said stonily, automatically, following Mike and Bella to the nurse. Mike ignored her, he hadn't been talking to her after all.<p>

"...he sees the new girl and just can't help himself!" Mike shook his head angrily, his grip moving from Bella's waist to hold her hand "He is such a jerk!"  
>"He just thought that I was a lot worse injured, Mike" Bella sighed patiently, rolling her eyes at Mike "Don't you think, Angela?"<br>"He looked _disturbed_" Mike said eerily "Like he was about to do something..."  
>"Bad" Bella finished with a slight shudder. Angela knew the feeling they were having right this moment, that fear of something and the added terrible dread because you don't know exactly why you are afraid. She had felt it too, and she had felt it more that they could ever have because she had jumped right into its line of fire and stared it down before they could ever find out why they needed to be afraid.<p>

"He would have driven in his Porsche!" Angela laughed a little hysterically, tears still in his eyes "If he has one..."  
>"She is right" Mike said strongly, giving Angela an approving look "He was just being a snob, thinks he owns everything!"<p>

"He doesn't look like he would have a Porsche" Angela continued her monologue, shivering slightly "I don't think that's the kind of car he would like"  
>"They can afford that?!" Bella asked with such liveliness that when the nurse came in to the little room and looked at her, she sighed and said Bella only had a spell and could return to class effective immediately.<p>

"They can afford everything!" Mike spat. "I bet he makes Angela do all his homework for him, doesn't he Angela?"

Angela made no response, Mike oblivious to how disturbed she seemed while Bella concluded it to be because of a different much more petty matter-both Mike and Bella had quickly disregarded the fear Edward had instilled in them as only human's who had never seen the _supernatural _in action could; and without Angela noticing or hearing it, they looked through the details of their encounter with Edward and dissected it to suit their own conclusion so that by the time P.E came about...

Angela found, she was back to being on Jessica and Lauren's possible firing list.

Xx~xx~xX

"Angela!"

She ignored the call completely and begun shuffling in the opposite direction of the call, never lifting her eyes from the smooth floor of the gymnasium. She heard the hurried whispering behind her, the quick irritated steps as whoever had called her followed her.

"Angela, I am calling you!" it was Lauren and Angela felt dread mingle with her intense apprehension. She stopped and sighed heavily, willing whatever disaster to come over her swiftly so she could return to her crumbling world.

"Are you deaf or something!" it was Jessica who reached her first, wheeling in front of her and scowling viciously "Is this how you treat your friends these days?" Jessica demanded.

"I am sorry" Angela managed. The tears where back in her eyes and she prayed it would all move quickly before they fell and exposed her.

"Whatever!" Lauren snapped "What I want to know is what happened when you and Mike took _Bella _to the nurse!"

"She... erm, well..." Angela pushed her glasses up and licked her dry lips-never looking at Jessica and Lauren's faces and preferring to stare at their matching fashionable sneakers "We got there"

"You got there?" Lauren sneered and then nudged Jessica "She got there?"  
>"We want to know about Edward" Jessica asked softly.<p>

"We bumped into him" Angela said.

"We aren't getting anywhere with this so how about I tell you what happened" Lauren snapped "You bumped into Edward who was going to have a secret meeting with Bella, isn't that so?"  
>"What?" Angela looked at them in confusion, her befuddlement drying her tears.<p>

"Oh, come off it!" Lauren hissed "All the guys are trying for her, of course she would choose Edward! And everyone knows how you are Edward's book bag and little _friend..._"

"...and it's cute of you to try and sabotage them" Jessica added "But Mike warned Bella about Edward..."  
>"...and Bella!" Lauren spat "She wants them <em>all<em>, doesn't she!"

"Mike _and_ Edward" Jessica scowled viciously and in all the hypothesis that Lauren and Jessica and believed, Angela sighed a breath of relief and chagrin. They didn't think anything more of her friendship with Edward... only because they thought it was less conceivable for her and Edward to be together than Edward and Bella. Their distrust and pettiness shifted so suddenly to Bella that when they looked at her again, it was with mild acceptance.

"Wait, there she is!" Jessica shushed Lauren and they watched Bella enter the gym. Bella walks over to them, Angela so sure that her arrival in their awkward little circle is going to be tense but when Bella arrives the reels back when Jessica goes;

"Bella, we were just asking Angela about you!" Jessica immediately attacked Bella into a hug "Are you okay?"  
>"We heard all about Edward 'bumping' into you in the corridor!" Lauren added "He must have been really worried and interested!"<p>

Angela took a shaky breath in and silently ejected from the three girls, making her way to the benches. Her heart was tensed, her every thought on Edward's burning violent eyes and her emotions a whirl wind of pain and dread. He had warned her, hadn't he? Begged her never to forget that he wasn't human? But why was she upset... nothing had technically happened... it didn't matter that something was about to happen, it hadn't happened! And if it had, he had always said she was the first in line to his danger... he hadn't been interested in her, he had been interested in Bella and she... she had jumped in the way. Sacrificing herself to his other side so the good carefree witty boy could live free and untainted...

"Angela" a soft bell rang beside her and Angela lifted her head from her knees and looked to her left-to a stiff Alice Cullen sitting silently by her side as though she had been there the whole time.

"Alice!" Angela breathed, a smile twitching oddly on her lips "Edward... is he...?" the words failed her, she didn't know what she was asking as she watched Bella illustrating something to an engrossed Jessica and Lauren with elaborate hand gestures and then realised that Bella was occasionally casting her deliberate glances.

"That girl" Alice said icily and Angela knew immediately who the pretty petite girl meant without following her gaze.

"Her name is Isabella and she likes to be called Bella" Angela offered automatically but Alice made no reaction to the name. A second passed, a lifetime of cold dread for Angela, and right before the bell went off, so soft that the words in the sentence strung along into one single beautiful tinkling note, Alice Cullen told Angela Weber:

"That girl, that Isabella who likes to be called Bella... she should be dead"

Xx~xx~xX

She was already worked up by the time Art came along, anticipating Edward... hating herself for fearing him. She was ready for strange, she was ready for terror... but she wasn't ready for all these things to come from the very class itself, that Edward wasn't in today.

Leah Clearwater enters the classroom so silently, without her usual array of noise and falling that she is momentarily unnoticed.

"Today, we will be choosing inspirational images" her voice is a barbed whip that cutting through the chatter of the whole classroom with such startling finality that everyone is left staggering in their seats.

Leah Clearwater should be hiding behind some large paper back romance novel, glasses thick and hanging heavily on her nose with hair a wild dark disaster. She should be all these things in all normalcy and safety to Angela's fragile world but she isn't. She is none of those things and somehow this is all the proof Angela needs to understand that her world is about to end completely, after it had only just been reinstated.

Leah Clearwater's hair is the same length, but there is no attempt in reining its volume in and it swirls instead around her face like thick smoke. She is still a tall Quileute beauty but gone is the fear of her own height and she stands tall and commanding behind the teacher's desk. There is nothing timid nor bumbling about her large narrowed eyes rake over all of them, the bags beneath them giving her a relentless look.

"It's going to count for half our grade and its due in two days time" Leah says and Mike raises his hand immediately.

"You are telling us this now? Today? After _weeks _of nothing!" Mike asks, his voice ringing through the shocked silence. Everyone watches Mike before looking over to Leah anxiously, it is obvious that Mike's cheekiness has entered through a different reality from when it was first introduced to Leah Clearwater.

"Yes" Leah smiled, only it seems like a sneer and Angela looked around her to be sure everyone was witnessing this strange forbidding version of the _true _Ms Leah Clearwater "So have no excuses; I have been very generous, two days is better than one!"  
>"She is crazy" Mike whispered loudly.<p>

"I heard that" Leah says dangerously softly "And for your _enthusiasm_ Newton, I want you and your partners piece tomorrow"  
>"What is the project anyway, our <em>real <em>teacher hasn't said anything about it!" Jessica sighs and gives Leah a pointed look "_Substitutes_ don't get to plan out our year"  
>"Your real teacher had a boating accident" Leah says indifferently "You'll have to do with the imaginary one and pray I don't give you an imaginary mark too, Jessica. The project is about surrealism and dreams and nightmares" Leah pauses and reaches behind her for a flat rectangular board and holds it in front of her. It covers tow thirds of her lithe form "This is what I have done, hopefully your dreams and emotions will inspire you into <em>something<em>"

It was a painting of a dark menacing wolf with burning fire for eyes, standing tall and unassailable in a dark foreboding forest. There was nothing natural about the setting, her piece dark and ghoulish, something out of a nightmare...

"What inspired you?" Angela asks and jumps back, she hadn't meant to utter a word and the sound of her own voice terrifies her-its scratching and raw.

"This beast... well, it delivered my wrath when I couldn't. It brought my fury to my cousin, the one person I trusted about my love for a man who could barely notice me... and then she stole him from me" Leah's tone dripped acid hate "It awoke the she-wolf in me; its power and passion and vengeance"

There was a snort from somewhere of 'over share' but Angela couldn't look away from the large impassioned eyes of Leah Clearwater, the fire in them wheedling a jealousy in her, she wanted to be that strong so suddenly. That imposing, shedding away all weakness and letting her internal power flow to protect herself and... And Edward.

"It looks like a demon" Angela whispered.

"Oh, but my dear, don't you see?" Leah asked her, peering at her 'Art Piece of Hate' with manic adoration "It's my dark knight. We all have a dark night watching over us"

Xx~xx~xX

She waited patiently for the Cullen siblings to drive out, her car so inconveniently parked besides hers. Alice stopped the Edward's big brother-Emmett-from entering, saying something to him and as they all looked around for something... Alice met her eyes, saw her in her hiding place (that she thought was rather ingenuous, standing by the dumpster and letting the rain seep through her). Alice waved at her, motioned for Angela to come to her and Angela made no move until the little girl smiled knowingly at her and tinkled something small and silver in front of her.

"My keys" Angela breathed, remembering clearly that Edward hadn't returned them to her. She sighed, looked to her left where Isabella was talking to Mike and Jessica before hurrying across to the Cullen siblings.

"He left your keys" Alice said the moment she reached them, dropping her keys suddenly into her surprised hands.

"Did he... say... anything else?" Angela spluttered, trying to ignore the three pairs of gorgeous eyes staring at her.

"I haven't seen him in over twenty four hours" Alice sighed "He has been preoccupied with you until now"

"What has happened now?" Angela asked but the beautiful blonde girl opened the front passenger door and gave Alice a stern look. "Has he left..."

"Alice" the tallest Cullen male sighed, opening Alice's door. "We have to go, now"

"Thank you, Angela" Alice said, smiling gently "Once again, thank you"

She watched them drive away, holding her keys tightly and praying desperately that Edward Cullen hadn't lost himself in his own mind-in his hell, a hell in which he would never ever come out from unless she braved the dark woods and went searching for her beloved dark knight.

"He is lost in the dark woods" Angela thought but the image that sprung into her mind wasn't Leah Clearwater's morbid forest, but Isabella Swan's pricked index finger with the blob of blood. "That was your dark wood, dark knight... Her blood"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Now how could I not work on this with all the lovely reviews! Thank you so much! Inspiring and what a wonderful feeling to know you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing this! This is impossible at the moment to pull in a plot frame reminiscent of twilight, so I will be listening to all your curiosities for the future!**

**It went very dark, very fast...**

**Loves!  
>TJ<strong>


	20. Arguments

_**Arguments**_

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

I didn't give her a chance to understand what was happening. I didn't give myself a chance to comprehend what I was setting in motion. The moment she followed me out into the dark woods, tracking my moving form easily through the snow gauze-just like I had known Tanya would do-I let all those fearsome emotions control me.

"Edward?" she managed before I attacked her, picking her up and startling her with the suddenness of my embrace, colliding with one tree and uprooting it and then coming to stop heavily on a much sturdier second tree.

I kissed her violently and with no feeling, her lips startled into compliance and mind an outbreak of confusion. For a minute, she allowed me to do this, before pushing me back abruptly. I stumbled into the darkness, breathing heavily.

Her breathing matched mine, but the fire dancing in her eyes was nothing if not contradictory to the flat misery in mine.

"Edward!" she said breathily, leaning away from the tree by pushing against it lightly with her hand and toppling it with the motion. She took a step forward, touching her torn blouse before smoothing her hair. "Edward" she all but moaned my name.

"Tanya..." my voice came out hoarse "This is what you want, isn't it?"  
>"I want you..." she said, rushing to me and wrapping her arms around my waist, her lips finding my neck and biting me too hard there "But I want you to want me back"<br>"I want you" I said matter-of-factly and she laughed, her warm breath moving over the skin of my neck. "Let us be done with this!"  
>"Why now?" she asked and I frowned at her.<p>

"I need a mate" I said "You need a mate. Well, let's be mated"

"Is this you proposing me?" she raised an eyebrow "Because it... _sucks_"

"I want to stay here, with you" I said gulping, my breathing useless as it was, refused to stabilize. Like the run from Forks had truly exhausted me, as though my dry tears had truly drained me... as though my heart had truly exploded in my chest.

"You haven't been to see Eleazar? You always see Eleazar first" she watched me suspiciously.

"He is hunting with Carmen" I said "I think you would agree it would be most inappropriate of me to interrupt?"  
>"Does Carlisle know you are here?" Tanya asked "Does Alice..."<br>"Of course Alice knows" I said tersely, finally moving. I took a step from the shadows and entered the small clearing nestled in the trees, the snow falling heavily over us. Tanya's hair was dusted in white, and in her mind... I saw how disastrous my beauty was in all my misery and desperation. It was too close to the image of me in Angela's mind, in Mike Newton's mind but not that accursed girl...

"What is it?" she asked, watching the pain work its way through every cell on my face "Edward, you are too good to stoop so low as to use me this way. I am the one who does all the using, and I think I like it that way"  
>"What makes you say that I am using you?"<p>

"You are running from something and by your request for ridding you of your glorious virginity and giving you my hand in marriage..." Tanya frowned; already jealous of a being she had no hope of knowing "It must be a girl. A girl that rejected you? After having so many pining for you it must have been a hard blow!"  
>"You are almost right" I said "But no, it isn't a girl. Not really... it is more like <em>blood<em>"  
>"Oh" her pink mouth plopped open and her eyes widened.<p>

"I can never go back!" I hissed "I can't... she saw _him_, the monster and she will hate _me_ forever! There is no hope of forgiveness" I ranted, Tanya piecing the information easily to comprehension, but I didn't care. What did it matter, Alice and Rosalie knew of my affection... enough of this, I had to call it what it was! Alice and Rosalie knew that I was _severely_ in love with Angela Weber and that sentiment and attachment was only fortifying me to her with _every_ passing second. There was no hope of it ever withering, I was immortal and a vampire-everything was set and if I did find myself altered, it was of a permanent nature.

"She knows now, how true my words were!" I cried and Tanya rushed to me, tentatively placing a small hand on my arm. She was split between concern and irritation that I had never truly been interested in being lawless with her, and like most women, she didn't appreciate being used as a replacement and more especially knowing now that there truly was someone who had captured my attentions. I ignored her thoughts and she dulled her emotions and allowed herself to hear me out as a friend.

She would seethe and fume when I was away from her.

"What words?" Tanya asked.

"I told her that I was a monster"  
>"But she would know" Tanya frowned.<p>

"She isn't a vampire" I explained and Tanya laughed, believing me but thinking that this was barely a threat as she initially thought. It was just Edward being his normal narcissistic peculiar self. Once again, I ignored her... I was too distraught for petty anger "She is human and a _Christian!"_

"Oh, but how horribly poorer!" Tanya exclaimed, holding her cheeks in mocking disbelief "How utterly inferior! But Edward, it truly shows how magnificent you are, to get so close to a child of God when you your self are but a beautiful demon! Ingenuity! Don't you worry about the morsel, there are many more naïve Christians to lure out there!" she laughed "I believe, the Christian ones are a lot more fun and spicy than the new age heathen variety, with all this atheist garbage!"  
>"Right, I think I will wait for Eleazar after all" I took her hand off my arm and flung it off, glaring at her childishly before rushing through the woods back to the house. Her soft giggle followed me through the woods, all her inconsequential jealousies and anger and thoughts of how unjust I was with her affection, lost to the wind-how could any minor human ever stand against her! To Tanya, and as it had been for Rose-as long as I was single, and uninterested in any other female (humans didn't count to them as members of the same sex, as one wouldn't count a female pig as being female, simply because it was a pig), then it meant there was nothing wrong with <em>their<em> powers of attraction and the fault lay wholly with me.

Between my growing miseries, my growing fear that I could never see Angela again-I could not submit myself as fully to my temper and lash out at Tanya, as I wanted to.

Xx~xx~xX

"But Carlisle..." Eleazar stressed, feeling awkward about my coming to confide in him over my father.

"The house has too many ears" I said "Jasper and Rosalie are very... stubborn"  
>"You are very stubborn Edward" Eleazar laughed "More than lovely Rose and quiet Jasper"<p>

"Yes, but I am diplomatic about my stubbornness"

"Ha, is that what you think?!" Carmen laughed "You came to Eleazar because you ran away from the pain first, you were not thinking about talking to anyone. Simply running...!"

I smiled at Carmen, my affection for her always set. She was not one for subtleties nor did she care about her brashness and it was only because she never meant to harm any one individual's emotions, and she knew this about herself as any wise immortal does (maturity is judged by understanding ones own temperament). She didn't use her independent disposition as a weapon; she merely let it run free.

"You are right" I smiled, ignoring Eleazar's worry about my sadness. "I ran here instinctively. I was going to kill her" I shuddered at how cool I confessed this. "The girl, Isabella, she was going to die. And although..." I swallowed and forced myself to say her beautiful name "Angela saved her; it was only for that moment. I couldn't stop thinking about that single drop of blood, her scent and biting into her skin. I was going to kill her, some way or other..."

"Not you, Edward" Eleazar sighed. "Not Carlisle's favourite most indulged brat"

"I am a grown man" I looked at him steadily and Carmen laughed. "A century old grown man I might add"  
>"In that lovely youth filled seventeen year old frame?" Carmen questioned.<p>

"In my time, I was much over being a man" I stated. As much as they were trying to calm me, and succeeding too-nothing was more dangerous to our family and their way of life, than singers.

"In this time, you are much _under_ being a man" Carmen teased "And as such, you will take advice from your godparents with no stubbornness or elevated sense of intellect on the matter?"

"I can't go back" I repeated. "I can't. Even now, speaking of this and reliving the moment... my throat roars for her blood!"

"The matter is not the girl's blood" Eleazar sighed "The matter is the _other _girl. Her heart. Edward, feeling the thirst in such a manner reminded you that Angela has a beating heart; it reminded you so acutely that you are a vampire and _that_, my son, is what destroyed your control. There are always singers out there, but there are not many like you. Like us, in this lifestyle... there are not many who have mastered the art of taming the monster. Now, please leave my home... you are causing a ruckus between my girls, you know how excitable they are about you!"

"Edward!" Carmen called before I could escape into the night "Do not hate Isabella for the thirst, for the monster. Love Angela instead, for keeping you as you are!"

Xx~xx~xX

Carlisle was in my room when I returned. He had been surveying the destruction I had reigned over my prized goods, the scattered discs and the littered shirts. I had been reckless and agitated when I had rushed back home from school after that accursed bright idea to intercept Angela and whisk her away with me to our spot in the woods, by the school parking lot. He was holding a shirt of mine, contemplatively and I realised he was trying to fold it the way Esme usually did.

I watched him through the trees, where I was perched. He folded it too quickly and messily, but somehow he was satisfied with this and proceeded to do the same with all my other shirts in a matter of seconds. My discs were stacked neatly but _not _in order according to alphabet and genre, all the discs placed on the left side of my shelf by the books and _not _at the right side were all the other discs where so _obviously_ merely inhabiting.

"Carlisle?" I whispered and he snapped his head to the window, scanning the outside easily before spotting me in the thick pine tree. A mixture of emotions worked its way over his face-joy at seeing me, agitation on my own emotions and apprehension (this was all too close to the time I had left him before).

He opened the window and I swung through the trees before swooping in through the window and landing crouched in my bedroom.

"You are back!" he exclaimed, a small smile tugging his lips.

"No, I am still on my way" I chuckled, moving to my shelf and picking up my discs. "Last time I checked, you were vampire not a five year old child incapable of seeing patterns?"

"I don't understand..." he frowned at the discs, then at me. "What do you mean?"  
>"These so obviously belong here..." I moved swiftly to the right "With their own kind"<p>

"Oh, Edward... you sound like Hitler" Carlisle sighed "I am _barely_ ever in your room. But I ought to be, I was unaware you keep your room such a mess..."

"It's my room" I said dryly.

"It's in _my_ house" he grinned. "In fact, I believe it is part of my house?"  
>"I left in a hurry" I said and his expression slackened to something sombre.<p>

"Eleazar sent me a text" Carlisle said "Not three minutes ago; he said you were coming back to me"

"Alice didn't see that?" I asked casually and he shook his head. "Yes, I had been very set on remaining there... on committing to Tanya"

"Oh, I don't think you were set on the _latter_ part!" Carlisle laughed "Alice said you and Tanya would get into a very violent disagreement while your clothing was preoccupied somewhere either; we were worried that that would push you to go further and leave Alaska to a place we could not hope of finding you"

I smiled, something about knowing my fortification in Angela left no room for any other brusque attachment and more especially a connection of the impish kind, this knowledge snuggled close to my dead heart and lessened my misery at knowing I was lost on hope on ever having Angela look at me, without the fear and horror in her eyes.

"You were strong, Edward!" Carlisle clutched my shoulder and shook me lightly "A singer, and you walked away!"  
>"No, I didn't walk away" I said, seeing in his mind the repeat of how Alice had only one future set of that meeting in the corridor. They all had been sure I had murdered Isabella Swan and left Mike Newton a cripple. That was what was supposed to happen, Angela Weber would live even then... and again, a soft sentiment worked inside of me at knowing both parts of me-monster and <em>Edward<em>, both of us were incapable of harming her.

"I didn't walk away, father" I told him, looking away from his ancient gaze and ever youthful optimism. I walked to the window, watching the snow storm from Alaska finally reaching Forks, the edges of the dark cloud soft and smudged. "I was running right to her, I was going to whisk Isabella Swan into my arms and fling an adamant Mike Newton into a wall. I had already planned it in my mind, going through each detail. I was not going to be so selfish, I was going to feed on her quickly and paralyze Newton..."  
>I stopped, taking in a barbed breath. Carlisle had stopped breathing all together.<p>

"I was going to do that, I was going to harm and kill two innocents" I said "I hadn't even seen Angela! Ha! I saw the boy only because he was gripping Isabella, he was practically joined to her and diluting her wonderful scent with his generic one..."

"So how is she alive?" Carlisle asked "How is it you didn't kill her and harm the boy?"  
>"Didn't Alice tell you?"<br>"She said Angela saved you" Carlisle whispered "But I couldn't hear the meaning in that, nor did I have the patience to hear her word out her vagueness further... you were gone! And I was not certain you would come back to me!"

"A human girl saved me from myself"  
>"The vampirism is not you!" Carlisle said desperately, I felt his hand on my shoulder gripping me tighter. Willing me to understand "You were a man first, and <em>then <em>a vampire!"  
>"Really? I can't even remember being a man" I sighed "I remember being a boy, pretending to be a man"<br>"You moved through this!" Carlisle insisted, forcing me to face him, the strength of his years in his grip "You didn't harm either! Not Isabella, not this Mike and not..."  
>"That's what saved them all!" I whispered desperately, my voice raw "I could harm Isabella, and I would have done it gleefully and revelled in tasting something so sweet and heavenly... I would have rolled in her blood!"<p>

Carlisle cringed, shaking his head in disbelief, but I continued. I knew my father, I knew Carlisle and he was prone to romanticize everything around him until he had created heaven on earth in his mind, and it took so much to wrench him from that. To make him see that he was not surrounded by clumsy Angels, but well practiced Demons...

"And Newton, well heavens know..." I laughed bitterly "I would have snapped his spine if not to just get his big tennis ball head to deflate! If not to show him that he couldn't stand a chance from keeping Isabella from me..."  
>"But you didn't" Carlisle whispered, refusing to believe the truth even when there was no other fact. What lie could there be? What lie indeed...?<p>

"I _couldn't!_" I roared, and it was my turn to shake him by the shoulders "I couldn't! I was thwarted, stopped dead in my tracks by her brown eyes! I saw her, I saw her and I didn't want to see her, Carlisle. Not like that! Not through the beasts eyes!"  
>"So why did the beast not just swat her aside?" he asked softly and I felt my eyes widen, the shock and horror of the notion of even gently <em>nudging <em>Angela aside filling me with acid.

"She..." I froze, breathing hard. "She..." I could see her clearly as day, clearly as night... clearly as I was a vampire. "She knew what I was about to do" I whispered and the tears didn't come into my eyes although I had broken down. I was on my knees and Carlisle knew me... he crouched beside me, and held me.

"I was about to kill" I said "I was the beast, I was thirsty and demented and I saw her in all of that! And I _couldn't_ do it. I _couldn't_, _wouldn't_ do it... because I love her so thoroughly. So helplessly, so impossibly, so completely..."

"What am I saying!" I rose, moving away from him and leaving him startled, still crouched on the floor, "I can't love her completely!" I said, a small smile tugging at my lips.

"You can't?" Carlisle asked bemused.

"No, I _can't_... because complete is to say, there is measurement and there is most certainly no limit to this feeling, no measurement and no known quantity! It is infinite!" I laughed and in the midst of my mirth I resumed my silent sobbing, the misery back tenfold "But she is human, is she not... and they can be altered so easily, so drastically... go through trauma and have it affect them in such permanent ways"  
>"I don't agree with your surmise" Carlisle whispered. "Human's are more adaptable than any other creature, and that there is the beauty in them"<p>

"She thought I would swallow her up in my madness too" I rambled "I fell into her eyes and I saw it, then when she jumped in the way..." I trailed off for a moment, lost in the red heat of thirst and the sudden shocking white that had electrocuted me-that shock of seeing Angela in my way, in front of Isabella.

"So suddenly father..." I continued abruptly "... that when I think of it, when I return to the action and shame, I fear I could have crushed her with the rapidity in which she appeared in my path. I had been a juggernaut heading for Isabella's blood."

"She appeared in your path?" Carlisle asked, giving me a dubious look "The girl, _your _Angela. The _human _girl, appeared in your path?"

"Yes" I whispered "Not to say that she magically appeared or moved as we do... I just, forgot she was there or I couldn't see her and then suddenly, I _could_. So suddenly I saw her right in front of me with her eyes staring into mine. I knew in a second that the thirst had swallowed me and that I had not been paying attention to anything other than the beating of Isabella's evil heart pumping heavenly blood..."

"I could imagine what that would do to you" Carlisle said gently "To return to Angela as you have done, to fall into that happiness of love so briefly and then..."  
>"Carlisle, you know I can't be a lover to her!" I said sharply, glaring at him "What would a vampire bring to such innocence! And it is done with any regard, all that hopeless love and attachment... she is done with me. This is done, Angela and I..."<p>

"You are so young..." Carlisle chuckled, and I frowned at him. Reminded of Carmen and Eleazar's teasing. "You truly think you can walk away from this, I can see it in you Edward. This isn't an interest like you had with cars, or horses, or any other thing you once proclaimed undying love for and then tossed it to the side!"  
>"I thought everyone had come to that conclusion after the meadow incident" I told him stiffly "This is no new news, I love her irrevocably"<br>"So why do you seem to be the only one in the dark?" Carlisle asked and then added jestingly "Hmm, a telepath, so bewildered by his own thoughts"

"I am always bewildered by my own thoughts!"

"You love her, you are in love with her and there is no selfish or selfless act you can bring about to that love. You will be eternally drawn to her... you are a vampire. It is set."  
>"It is you who are confused!" I said harshly "I know the extent of my love, I am not so bloody young to be naïve to the fact dammit! Don't you see? Can't you hear what I am telling you, father! As blissful as this emotion is... it stands thwarted by my own self, as I stared into her eyes and saw the fear in them! She knows, she has always known I was a monster... but never had I been a monster <em>to <em>her!"

"Oh" Carlisle breathed. "She fears you?"  
>"There, you have it!" I waved my hand in overzealous indifference. "I was barely standing on a leg with her; I am a god damned beast of nightmares, the only thing I was fighting for at this point was friendship and look now what I have gone and done! Should she love me, a beast-at all! Is it not the story of every tortured monster, to love, and never be loved..!"<p>

"You don't know that she doesn't feel the same" Carlisle insisted "She called you back to her before! So, it is you, dear sir, who seems to have been mistaken. Your story has the wrong ending. All this to love and never be loved... that is only something a person with _tangible_ proof from another's heart can say!"  
>"You can't tell me that, I am a telepath!"<p>

"Oh, how right you are! You are a telepath... not a... what are you, Jasper?" Carlisle asked, raising an eyebrow-Ancient English accent working in over time in his frustration. "Emotional Reader?" Jasper offered timidly from somewhere bellow, not appreciating being pulled into our argument-there was a silent rule we all had not to interfere in private matters and Jasper upheld it steadily.

"So you have felt her emotions for you then?" Carlisle's silly right eyebrow shot up.

"She is human, her feelings or any other sentiment can not be trusted agawhen they are for a vampire!" I growled.  
>"Human's are not so lesser than you, Edward...!" Carlisle said, rounding on me as the advocate of Angela Weber, the absurdity of this man! "That you can presume them to be entirely fragile and weak to the point of having <em>retarded<em> emotions!"  
>"What is your problem man!"<br>"She is not a brain dead girl, nor is she heart dead and you... good sir, are insisting on digging holes all over _our_ eternity and jumping into them so you can revel in your misery and loneliness!"

"So what would you have me do?!"

"I would have you wake up and smell the roses!" Carlisle said firmly-he was at his limit with holding his ground against me, this was not part of his own soft nature and I had a sneaky feeling that the contents of Eleazar's text held more than a head nod to my return "Just because you are a handsome _vampire_ does not make you unlovable!"  
>"Edward!" Alice appeared by my door, holding a small black rectangle easily in her small hand-my phone. I had heard her answer, the expectant 'Hello, please hold...' that only a psychic could manage. The joys of privacy were lost on immortals habituating with each other, we all <em>pretended<em>. Pretending so perfectly, as they all had been doing since my arrival, sitting around in the lounge and playing chess-or like Esme, sitting tensed by the foot of the stairs and awaiting the words that would squash her apprehension and set her hope to reality. The words that would reveal there was no other place I would be, but with her.

"Who?" I asked her dumbly-I knew from her mind and from the sudden attack of nerves inside of me, she didn't answer regardless, only shaking her head and passing me _my_ phone. "How many times do I have to tell you to leave my stuff alone?" I asked her numbly, still worked up by Carlisle's insistence on having an energetic dialogue. I didn't dare look at the phone.

"Right, let us leave Edward to his phone call Alice, dear" Carlisle breathed, nudging Alice out and closing the door uselessly. They were all listening, through doors, concrete and walls.

"Hello?" I don't know what I expected, for her to be crying at the other end and demanding I leave her alone finally. For her to start chanting Latin prayers of exorcism... I certainly did not expect...

"Edward, please come over to my place?" Angela asked softly.

"Your place?" I asked and bellow me, I heard Emmett laughing-he told Carlisle that I was truly the retarded vampire of the house, falling in love with humans and repeating questions. I had never been more grateful for Rosalie as she whacked his head.

"My place" Angela repeated and then took in a shaky breath "I... I am not afraid of you"  
>"You should be" I said automatically and Alice sighed, muttering how I was sabotaging myself.<p>

"It's difficult to explain" Angela sighed, sounding exhausted. "I have been trying to call you the whole night"

I looked at the clock on the phone quickly, something inside me squeezing when I saw her name across the LCD 'Angela Weber'. It was late, very late, and behind her name was a little phone icon in red with the number 'thirteen' next to it.

"It's four in the morning" I told her.

"I was inclined to believe you when you said you didn't know much about sleep etiquette" she chuckled.

"I could come" I said "But then, how would you sleep? You need some sleep, surely... it's school tomorrow"

"I do need sleep for school tomorrow" she sighed "But I don't think I can sleep, if you are not with me-in my sights, and I am certain you wont just disappear again"

"Oooh, she's got _moves_!" Emmett hollered and then the soft indiscernible "Moves like Jagger" that Alice added, confirmed that I did indeed need to get out and far away. I was out of the window and speeding in the direction of Angela's house before her next response.

"What was that?" she asked and then chuckled. "Should I leave my window open?"  
>"Please do" I said "I hate the one second wait I have to endure, picking it open"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

It wasn't as awkward and terrifying as my last return from Alaska to her. At least, not for her.

"You seem... tense"  
>"It's hard, to be nervous when your biological make up does not allow for you to be nervous" I explained in a rush and she frowned.<p>

"I only heard the first part of that" she smiled and I sighed. I had spoken too quickly. "So you are nervous?"  
>"I have reason to be, don't I?" I told her.<p>

"And what might that reason be?"  
>"You have gotten too good at mind games in a short period of time" I chuckled. "I might actually be impressed"<br>"I am an A student, and top in my English class this month" she said "Mind games, piece of cake"  
>"Only because I begged Alice to let you be top of your class"<br>"Alice is better than you at English?"  
>"No" I said, moving further into her room. "Carlisle is better than <em>anyone<em> at English, I think he may have tutored Shakespeare..." I paused to laugh, she watched me... thinking that I was mad and beautiful and that she was hopelessly in love. I stuttered, my thoughts wild but she perceived it as but a deliberate pause.

"I was saying, I asked Alice to slack off" I said swallowing a little "And I had already begun to do so, and there you are, this month. Top of the class"

"That was unnecessary" she frowned.

"I can be very impulsive" I said "The thought that you wouldn't appreciate me doing that only came after... besides, I wasn't _supposed_ to tell you"  
>"Then why have you told me, if you knew I wouldn't appreciate it?"<br>"Like I said, my nerves are working up a storm in me" I told her. She looked away, at her teddy bear sitting snug on its throne and smiled to herself. "I have never been one for... nerves, and I don't think I like the sensation, Angela. Now, if you would... tell me, should I just leave? Should I be away from you?"  
>"Why would I want you to be away from me?"<br>"Oh, come now!" I chided her "You have proved more than enough how adequate you are in matters of the mind and thoughts... now, please... don't torture me so!"

"How am I torturing you?"  
>"Do you hate me or not!" I demanded and she controlled her expression, her thoughts not revealing much and I realised... she was revealing everything, I was only expecting something else and this blinded me from the context of her mind.<p>

She didn't hate me. Did she love me... I almost thought she didn't because of my own superior affection for her. I was breathing in heavily, chest rising almost painfully while she sat on the edge of her bed huddled in her gown.

"But how can I trust such an affection, trust your sentiment, when I cannot ever hope of knowing whether or not it is brought about my nature?"  
>She looked at me confused, processing the words before releasing them from her worry altogether and smiled "Your nature?"<br>"You have to know, you have to have seen!"  
>"I know and I saw..." she said "That you were not in control of yourself. That you did not want to be that way"<p>

"I almost hurt you!" I said "You where almost collateral, like Mike! I would have gone right through you to get to her!"  
>"You and I know that isn't true" she said softly<br>"You doubt what you say, about that very lie!"  
>"Doubt... can you fault me for it, Edward?" she smiled "But what is a little doubt... I am human, after all"<p>

"Do you know what I am, then, little human?"

"A vampire" she said coolly.

"And what do vampires eat"  
>"They don't eat" she said "They <em>drink"<em>

"This is absurd, you are can't believe it!" I rose and fisted my hair "And yet you do, I see it in your mind! And how can you not hate me! Have I been in you presence long enough that you are completely intoxicated with me?"

"Oh, _please_ Edward!" she snorted "Shed some of that vanity! Sure, you are pretty as a picture..."  
>"I think your exact thoughts were <em>sexy<em> as _hell_, Angela" I cocked an eyebrow up and she ignored me completely.

"There must be a reason you stopped, what you were about to do" she said sombrely.

"And you know that reason is you" I said her thoughts. "Is it safe to say we are on equal footing when it comes to arrogance about the other's affection?"

"We can never be on equal footing" she said softly, looking at her hands and then up to my face. I wanted her glasses to hide those large eyes so suddenly, that I almost offered them to her-if only to shield me from falling ever further into this bright pit of love for her. "I think... I wouldn't survive if you left again"  
>"You knew I had left?" I asked her.<p>

"I saw it, I saw it in your eyes... in your lack of recognition" she spoke so parched, and I hated my self for making her feel that sort of despair "I would never see you again, all because of Isabella's stupid finger"

"It's more than her finger" I confessed "It is her very beating heart"

She sobered up then, the falling sleepy eyelids snapping open and eyes wide and rimmed with the red of dehydration from rest. "You wouldn't hurt her" she said firmly.

"Oh, but wouldn't I?" I asked her and she rose from her bed and took two deliberate steps to me, her lips held firm and eyes almost angry. Her thoughts matched her expression, nothing but determination.

"You wouldn't" she said "You won't... you just wouldn't _dare_"

"And what's stopping me, little human?"  
>"This" she whispered, and in another step I had become as helpless as a babe. And as her arms left the collar of her gown, I had become hypnotised, her hands moving over my neck I had become severed and when she pulled me to her... because she had that kind of strength over me, she did and I knew it-when she pulled me to her and our lips met, I knew that she had indeed materialised between the monster and Edward. She was determined, she was passionate and I was... once again, the naïve virgin in her skilful hands.<p>

"You do realise you have just kissed a vampire?" I asked her hoarsely, breathing in heavily, nothing but caramel and sweetness.

"Twice, I have kissed a vampire _twice_" she corrected, face hot and glowing. "Be damned, damn it all!"

"A vampire, Angela!" I said, disbelieving in the moment, her hands held me in place while her eyes raked over my face with... oh, there was no denying it, it was _love_ that shone through them and drowned me, setting me on fire. "I am a vampire, how can you feel this for me? How can you love me?"  
>"How can I love you?" she asked, a small private smile playing on her full velvety lips "I already do, Edward. And I fear, maybe I <em>always<em> have. And to truly answer your _ridiculous_ question on _how _I _can _love you; Edward Cullen, I love you as you are"

And there it was, she loved me as I am. And for the first time in my eternity, I felt a joy and a happiness that seemed impossible to shatter. She slept, dreaming and praying in equal successions for _me_ and I had neither the heart nor the will to wake her and have another quarrel with her about her _praying_ for a _vampire_.

I may have fallen asleep for the first time since my birthing, with her in my arms and her love around me-the soft wisp of thoughts on how she had come to the point of admitting her love for me to herself as she waited on me to answer my phone, realising just as I had that, she could not live without me...

And Alice, oh her and her meddling and interfering with my immortality... that pixie had known. And there it was, the bright sun rising and with it, my love...

There was nothing that could take this away from me, take _her_ away from me. No cruel fate, no villain in the night, no fearsome beast...

_Nothing_.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Thank you for the lovely reviews, pms and love! I will respond to all questions and messages in the next chapter, this chapter was rather sudden and took me of guard. Completed and edited in four hours, with tea breaks and all. **

**See you soonest**

**XX**

**TJ**


	21. Absurd Predators

**ABSURD PREDATORS**

"Didn't I tell you you'd be happy, didn't I tell you that you shouldn't worry?!"

"Shut up, conceited psychic pixie" I sighed, but there was no anger or annoyance in my tone. I may as well have told her 'have a good day' for all my insults worth.

"Angela...!" Alice twirled in my room, her odd multicoloured skirt flaring with the movement, and her daisy scent thrown about everything with the motion "I do think I like her a lot, what a change she is with that wit! Rose will too... _eventually_"  
>"I don't care what Rosalie will do... eventually or <em>instantly!<em>" I snapped-the mention of Rosalie reminding me of my not so noble moment in a certain Alaskan forest with another vain blonde. I was still undecided on what I did meant to me with regards to Angela. I was desperately trying not to feel this crushing guilt and shame on the matter, on how utterly _pathetic_ I had turned in that second.

But that one weak move showed one thing; I didn't stand a chance in this life, this immortality without her, without Angela. After falling in love with her, there was no returning to whatever sort of Edward I once was... because everything that I was now, anything reminiscent to that previous vampire-it was all tied in with her.

I tossed my shirt straight into the clothes bin and reached for the black Armani shirt. Alice tutted, clasping her hands and looking at the pale blue shirt dubiously and then raising her curved eyebrow.

"You'll be a knock out in that, sure..." she said and then closed her eyes and in her over worked ominous tone she added "But lilac does wonders on our skin and with your lovely bronze hair. Lilac, that is the way to go... and this is _dark lilac,_ you'll break hearts in this"  
>"I don't think I want to be breaking hearts" I laughed.<p>

"You'll break _other _hearts" Alice grinned "But hers will swallow you whole in that shirt. She will _appreciate you _in purple"

I could feel a heat over my skin, watching the vision of Angela gazing at me and glowing that lovely cherry-caramel pale silk that was a tell that she was flustered, drinking in the sight of me in her odd timid-shameless way. "She does like purple" I said, wincing when I sounded almost shy.

"She likes you" Alice winked "She _loves _you"  
>"She does. Against everything, she does" I smiled back at Alice. "I have to go"<br>"Can't keep her waiting?" Alice asked.

"Can't stand to be away from her"

Xx~xx~xX

I arrived at her house with one minute to spare, a minute to tune out the sound of her showering. I had to make a mental note to run a little slower, a good seven minute run from the Manor to her house would ensure I wouldn't have to torture myself waiting for her to finish and wishing she _wouldn't_ finish. The sound of the water, and her soft murmuring of some pop tune-such innocent little things, such disastrously _tempting_ little things.

I waited anxiously in the forest, listening to her neighbour's daily trivia until she had completed her routine.

"Edward" she breathed the moment I shut the window. She had felt the change in air, and although most humans tended to disregard the air they moved in, she now knew it was her best weapon against being startled by me.

"Angela" I smiled, trying to stop myself from grinning like a fool. It didn't work, I was too happy... She didn't think I was grinning like a fool though, staring up at me through her thick glasses, eyes widening and heart stuttering. There was my caramel-cherry glow in all its burning glory...

"Erm, you... I thought we..." she stammered and then stopped, laughing internally and chiding herself. It was only Edward, beautiful vampire Edward looking like he had descended from the skies...  
>"More like flew up from the centre of the earth" I murmured and she frowned at me.<p>

"I thought we agreed we were going to pretend you only hear with your ears" she sulked, blushing regardless of irritation.

"I think I hear with my ears in both instances of audio and mental" I smiled and she raised an eyebrow "Okay, I apologise. I couldn't resist, you can be very _absurd_"  
>"Said the vampire" she turned around and finished off packing her school bag "The illogicality of you existing..."<br>"I am glad I do, logic is so overrated, you will come to see" I said tugging at her bag, trying to get her to let me carry it without having to use force "And actually, I see logic finally in why I was turned... and who knew logic wore glasses"  
>"Turned?" she asked and I smiled, yanking the bag easily from her and in the same instance stealing her car keys from her absent hand.<p>

"I will tell you all about it, while we drag on in your little _indecent_ car"

"I bet that car is older than you!"

"I'll take you on your bet" I smiled and her eyes widened. "If I hadn't been turned, I would have met you as someone's great grandfather"

"Lovely thoughts that I _wont_ be _musing_ over!" she said, but as soon as we were in the car, she began imagining me as a century-and-some-years old being, frightening and intriguing herself.

Xx~xx~xX

"It bothers you?"  
>"Well, yeah!" she exclaimed, slapping the car dashboard and groaning. "Firstly, you are a century old and then some, and then secondly, you are a century old and then thirdly... you are <em>immortal<em>?"

"I knew it would bother you" I tried to keep my voice light, but she noticed the little rigidness in it, pushing her glasses up her nose and sighing heavily while staring out to the thick sheet of rain moving against the car.

"It doesn't bother me in your sense" she said sternly "It can't all be hell and heaven, twenty four seven, Edward. You haven't been to either, so could you just relax with the self damnation?"

"Hmm" I managed and she looked at me intently, waiting for me to say what was on my mind. She knew I wouldn't be able to keep it in. I ignored her hot gaze and looked out to the world before us; the wipers scraping over the windscreen in a painful screech-she wouldn't hear that, naturally.

"Spit it out" she murmured.

"It is easy for you to be more logical about it than I" I said "The whole damnation and heaven and hell thing, because you _aren't _fighting evil every second, an evil inside of you"  
>"I wish you would just tell me, tell me <em>everything<em>. We are already on the bridge, Edward... I know what you are, and... If I do care, it is only because you hate being a vampire so much. I hate it because you hate it, Edward... but I love it because I met you, Edward"

It was like she knew saying my name enough times dissolved any control or free will in me, and my name from those lips and those words said in her voice. I gripped the steering wheel, momentarily ignorant of the fact that this wasn't one of the Cullen cars with titanium steering wheels. It groaned and caved in where my thumb pressed, at the apex of the circles rim.

"Thirst" my voice came out scratching, she thought it was husky. "Angela, if I had not been turned by Carlisle... and led into his way of life, I wouldn't be able to sit here with you in this badly ventilated small space without... harming you"

She disregarded this, the notion of me harming her had flown out the window when she had seen how obviously delicate I was when placed in her hands. "Is this the whole 'don't trust me completely' speech?" she asked.

"Well, yes"  
>"Right" she over rode everything about that, except the part about Carlisle "So Carlisle..."<p>

"You know what vampires feed on" I said "And no, there is nothing remotely 'Stefan Salvatore' about me, except the part about the bunnies. I don't eat anything at all nor do I drink scotch to get the edge off..."  
>"Stop reading my mind!" she hissed and I grinned.<p>

"I can't help it, and your thoughts are so... beautiful" I said and she blushed, we were in front of the school now and I could feel myself tensing further. We had time to spare, the twins had been quick today in getting ready and as a ripple effect, we had left early.

"I feed on animals, solely" I said. "We all do, my brothers and sisters and parents. Carlisle introduced it to us, from our birth into immortality... well, at least he introduced those of us he had turned"

"So why should you be bothered by humans?" she asked. The windows were misted from the rain and her single hot temperature, the children outside passing the car without a thought to who was inside. I felt safe and secret with her, in the middle of everyone and in plain sight.

"Maybe if we were deaf and had no sense of smell, we wouldn't be bothered by humans" I chuckled lightly "Living as a... a vegetarian, it doesn't stop one from drooling after animal protein delicacies-one simply values life over their own tastes, no? And one would be in constant temptation, but no one wants to be a murderer. A lot of self discipline goes into being a vegetarian"

She thought about Bella and I tensed. Did I want to revisit my moment of weakness, that _singular_ moment that had caught me off guard after decades of being almost as good as Carlisle?

"I can hear your heart beat" I told her gruffly, closing my eyes and listening to each delicate squeeze and sighing release "I can feel it through the air, vibrating... it's beautiful, knowing you are alive" as I said this, her heart stammered excitedly and I had to laugh at this. I tell her I am attuned to her heart in both a predatory and infatuated manner and what does she do? She turns up the volume...

"The heat from you on my side" I said, listening to her thoughts, hearing their flurry of nervousness and indecipherable thrill "All those human things of you, they... excite my predatory side as well as... _me_"

She swallowed hard. I was upset, she wasn't afraid... only nervous in that girl-boy way, the same way I was. As endearing as it was, it was dangerous... it would always _be_ dangerous.

"Your scent" I continued "It's sweet, appetizing... mouth watering. If there was a point were I hadn't fed and I were not preoccupied... I would be so obsessed by it that I could lose myself in you. Angela, focus... I am not telling you this so you can..."  
>Fill the air with your scent, too heady and strong now and making concentrating on just sitting in your car such a human task<p>

"_Anyway_" I decided to end that dangerous intoxicating chapter, wiping the windscreen with the sleeve of my shirt and frowning at Mike Newton standing opposite me, oblivious to my glare through the clear patch on the windscreen-his big head chatting merrily away with Tyler. "As much as we aren't addicts, we are eternally recovering and every moment is a temptation"  
>"But you were never the way you were with Bella, you were never that way to me" she asked, her voice impossibly low and lulling now.<p>

"Bella..." I said the name with abrupt distaste "I used to think I had control until I met her. I fear her"

"You fear her?"  
>"She will <em>end<em> me, Angela!" I told her and then confessed "I only plan on attending Art with you today. I just can't risk it"

"What happened, that day?" Angela asked softly, playing with the hem of her cardigan.

"I heard your thoughts, I heard Mike Newton's and I knew you were taking the girl to the nurse's office. I knew you didn't want to go, that she had forced you. I didn't understand where she was... Isabella but I realised later that I couldn't hear her thoughts. Some technicality on her part, but be damned it of all its curiosities... her blood is an evil that overrides everything"  
>"You can't hear her thoughts?" Angela asked softly and I shook my head tersely.<p>

"You see why I fear her?" I whispered "What sort of evil is she; that I am so drawn to her blood that I become blinded to everything else and then coincidentally she is a mental mute to me?"

"She isn't...evil" Angela deadpanned, still afraid that although I was as frightening as her teddy bear to her now, Isabella would still be in grave danger, not from my accidentally killing her but from my killing her to be rid of the temptation... even if it was a kill that didn't require feeding of the girl.

"You would think I would murder her?" I asked and Angela controlled her expression. Yes, she did think this and not in the sense that she thought I was truly evil but in the sense that the way I had looked at the girl had been nothing but pure hate, violence and unrefined starvation.

When she thought of this, she thought of how truly dangerous I was... how truly dangerous I could be, and once again-this danger didn't bother her because she knew it was not for her. I didn't want to be happy at that, but I was-I was also afraid by the realisation of how deeply etched she and I had become to each other.

She wouldn't fear the vampire, but she would empathize for his prey. Absurdity seemed to be weighing over our... connection.

"I suppose I am not even sure of the fact" I said.

"You wouldn't harm her" Angela said with a little more conviction. "You are would have harmed her in the corridor, when her finger was bleeding all over the place"  
>"It's a miracle I ran from that with her blood in the air like that" I growled, remembering the instant jolt of desire that had shot through me when I saw the red dot on the pale finger.<p>

"It isn't a miracle; it's a sign..." she said "A sign that you are much stronger. You ran when you hadn't even been thinking of _not killing her_. Now, you don't want to... you know that. So you wont"  
>"You really should become a vampire psychologist" I said.<p>

"I only want one patient" she said and it was my turn to be filled with knots and an invisible heat.

"I don't think you need to skip any lessons" she said "No need at all because all the classes Isabella is in with you, I am in too. And I will... protect you"  
>"How"<p>

"I already showed you how" she said in a small voice and the memory of our kiss filled her mind. Her heat became my heat, and while she whirled in the sensation of ice melting on her lips... I lost myself in the feeling of clutching on to living heat.

"Yes, you are very good at..." I smiled softly at her, and her glow became bright, dazzling "Protecting me"

"You started it" she said timidly, poking me on the arm half playfully.

"I believe you started it"

"No, in the meadow... you kissed me first, technically" she said stubbornly, even through the ridiculous electricity we were generating, she had the gall to be stubborn.

"Technically, you asked me to" I smiled, tapping the side of my head and that one move in reminding her that I could hear her thoughts doused some of her dangerous increase in temperature and she scowled at me, embarrassed.

"Well, you were the one insisting on dancing in the grass!"

"I wanted to give you your spring dance!" I laughed.

"Humph" she tucked her arms petulantly over each other.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked her.

"Is that your question?"  
>"Angela" I warned and she sighed, rolling her eyes. "I wanted to know... why you aren't afraid of me?"<br>"Maybe you aren't as scary as you think you are"  
>"I meant, you let Mike Newton and Lauren and Jessica have their inch and then some when it comes to your patience but I can't get that?"<br>"You want me to give you an inch?" she asked.

Did I want her to give me an inch?

"I am a vampire" I tried to explain how contradictory she was with her stubbornness when it came to me "My scent is lovely to humans, my aesthetics..."  
>Glorious, she thought and I sighed.<p>

"Glorious then" I tutted and she groaned.

"No mind reading!" she hissed.

"No letting my vampire nature controls your hormones!" I said and her eyes widened. She hadn't known that part about me "Yes, a big part of luring prey in, is working their very _willing_ hormones... and everything about me does just that. And from that point, I will explain that because of a vampire's natural seducing nature... I find most humans easily agreeable and easily compelled, even when one is not trying. You don't fall under that-you never bend to my will, although we are..."  
>Attracted to each other, I wanted to say. But something about that description felt... like announcing that we were heading somewhere due to that decree of attraction.<p>

"Attracted to each other" she said it for me and my eyes widened in surprise.

"Yes" I breathed.

"I don't know..." she grinned, opening the car door and letting in a warm breeze-that chilled her but moved her lovely fragrance through me "Maybe my human nature controls _your_ hormones, Edward; maybe I am the predator here?"

"Maybe you are" I breathed "My own exclusively designed predator, everything about _you _does seem to leave me weak"

"Even this little finger?" she twitched her little finger, walking carefully away from the car and determined to ignore any stares today. She wanted to be with me, she needed to be with me... be damned the student populace of Forks High. Be damned, more especially... _Isabella Swan_.

"Especially that little finger!" I smiled at her "It almost left me paralysed on that last twitch"

Xx~xx~xX

We had to be parted for the first class, but my promise to Angela that I did believe I was strong enough and wouldn't be disappearing for the majority of my day made it all bearable. Unfortunately, I had neglected to take my phone with me-I had no use of the device if I was with Angela-and missed Alice's text that P.E would be _enjoyable_ today.

"Enjoyable, she said?" I asked Emmett and he nodded, not bothered by Alice's vagueness. He had no singer at school, or left in the world-he had been rid of that long ago. He had no seductive predator that walked with horned rimmed glasses hiding hypnotising eyes.

"Enjoyable" Jasper drawled, patting my shoulder "Now you know how it feels to be left outside in the cold, by some cocky telepath or gorgeous psychic-or both"

"A threesome" Emmett announced and Jasper groaned, slapping his forehead with the heel of his hand.

"I didn't need that visual, Em" Jasper sighed.

"Nor did I" I said "From both of you"

"How is the singer thing going?" Emmett asked.

"I'm just... avoiding it all together" I sighed.  
>"That is all you can do, isn't it?" Jasper offered.<p>

A group of kids passed us, one young girl-she had to be no less that fourteen-cast Emmett a starry eyed look that he returned with a sharp grin. Unnecessary, maybe... but Rosalie could be exceptionally generous when it came to jealousy. They took in our gym clothing and began hissing furiously, or maybe it was just rapid gossip. Of all the human ages, and types-early teenage girls had to be the least endearing to any immortal...

"Senior sex ed" Jasper said amused, catching some of their irritating high pitched talk and Emmett let out an excited whoop. "And your grade, Edward, will be joining in. Double the protection"  
>"Double the protection! Get it...!" Emmett nudged my ribs painfully and I groaned but my chagrin only remained controllable for a moment, until I met Isabella Swan's brown eyes and saw that she was standing with the fated robber of my love.<p>

"I shouldn't have missed school" I said "I would have been able to avoid all this tedious talk about infections and hormones"

I tried to ignore the fact that I had introduced the talk of hormones to myself and Angela. I tried, but of course my dear brothers wouldn't allow me that privilege in their own ignorant ways.

"You know, you can't carry that sort of mindset anymore!" Jasper laughed. "No more prudish vampire... even if she is a human..."  
>"I mean, she has the hot librarian chick thing down..." Emmett gave Angela a once off, not entirely convinced of what he was saying but that was only because he was attuned to the blonde six foot curvy variety of librarian chick. "Maybe she has a book fetish like you?"<br>"Angela does not have _fetishes_!" I hissed.

"Everyone has fetishes, Edward" Jasper laughed.

"Wait, are you agreeing that you have a book fetish?" Emmett asked and I ignored him. "What can one do with a book, anyway...?"  
>"Read it" I snapped, ending his still formulating mental illustration.<p>

"Regardless" Jasper cut Emmett "She is human and there is not much you can do with those without breaking them. I think he will always be forced to be a prude"  
>"Even when you fall in love... you find a way of turning it into a martyr experience" Emmett sighed, shaking his head "Bro, I just don't get you?"<p>

"There is more to love than sex!" I snapped at both of them "She can be human, she is human and by God, what a perfect human!"

"Okay, okay..." Emmett raised his hands in surrender "Calm your virgin panties. I see my wife, and I think this little slide show of STDs will ensure I end up bunking Spanish..."  
>"No, you will be in Spanish" Alice announced appearing at Jasper's side. We were only a little off from Jessica, Isabella, Lauren and an unwilling Angela... who was yet to notice me. Isabella was silently sending me surreptitious inspections, never saying that she had seen me to the other girls.<p>

"Edward... there is nothing to fear" Alice said and Emmett threw a soft "No fear... if you just condomize" as he slinked off to a scowling Rosalie. Rose didn't appreciate having to sit in with a bunch of hot sweating teenagers in a badly ventilated room, Rose didn't appreciate Isabella being in said room and testing my control and more importantly, Rose didn't appreciate the conversation I had been having with my brothers... a conversation that only further gave evidence to the extent of my attachment to Angela.

"Shall we?" Alice linked her hand through Jaspers, looking up at me. "We have to be seated in our grades"  
>"Then Jasper is in the wrong crowd" I grumbled, equally miserable and relieved as I walked over to Isabella and Angela. "He should go off with Mr and Mrs Rosalie"<p>

"Oh, the teacher wont mind" Alice chuckled "I think... it's a bit unclear... but I am sure its your art teacher in charge of our lot"  
>"Then she wont mind" I said, thinking of the dithering awkward Leah Clearwater. I took in a breath and held it, moving two paces faster than Alice and Jasper and heading for Angela's unwanted group. I held my breath and ignored Jessica noticing me and her terse nudge to Lauren.<p>

"Angela" I took in an eighteenth of the air I had stored in my lungs. I didn't approach their immediate vicinity but she had heard me. Angela turned around surprised, a small smile of relief on her lips.

_Come..._ she commanded and I shook my head tersely, briefly glancing at Isabella. _You can... Edward. _She thought deliberately, a slew of 'I wonder if he can hear me' and 'this is so strange' echoing around in her mind.

I took one step and then another, her hand outstretched and awaiting mine. I placed my hand in her hand, everything focusing and wobbling and begging me to take in the damning temptation situated between Jessica and Lauren but I held only her gaze; my Angel.

Her fingers were soft, pliable and terrifyingly breakable as they attempted to weave themselves through my stone ones. I concentrated on inching and relaxing my fingers carefully, until our hands were clasping each other exquisitely. She tugged me towards her, trying not to heed the half glares of confusion coming from the other three girls.

She was only going to pull me into the circle briefly, ask me if I had met Isabella yet and I was supposed to reply my 'no', and then the introductions would commence. That was her plan, and I could see it in her mind but unfortunately I was lost in my own mind...

And my mind was always a difficult place to get out off.

I tugged her to me instead, she half leapt and stepped forward, startled. I kept our hands connected, feeling the heat of her seep into every pore, the thought on how our skin was connected sending an electric rush through me.

"Angela" I breathed and she squeaked something inarticulate, lost in my eyes as I was in hers. Who cared about our little audience-who indeed? I touched her hair, pulling it out of its pony and breathing in as it billowed around her and diluted Isabella's scent. The monster still purred for the brown-eyed mental-mute girl, but it was distracted by the scent of a stronger predator... my predator.

My fingers wove in her dark hair, pushing it further out in thick silk and her heart shuddered through the air, bullying my attention to Isabella's heart out of the way. Angela wouldn't look away, she couldn't look away and she thought momentarily it was because I was holding her...

"You hold me" I said and she gasped softly, swallowing. I touched her cheek, it glowed cherry caramel as soon as I was done adoring it and then I let my finger linger on her chin, tilting it lightly up so her head was at a perfect angle.

"Angela, I missed you" I said "Thank you for protecting me" I whispered over her lips, and in one torturously careful motion, I touched my lips to hers and pressed so gently and carefully that my every attention was on those two satin cushions.

Controlling ones self for fear of breaking your living love, domineering over my ever twitching muscle as my mind flooded with something potently intoxicating, I was a dictator onto myself as I kissed her. That fear of losing my tactile senses in her sweet addictive lips, that rigid control I conducted my inhaling her sweet drug, my eternal fix-such severe sternness-how could such acts be so erotic...

I had not anticipated this, it was too much; almost as bad as Isabella's Swan's blood, and yet it was only a kiss! Heaven forbid I have more than this... I would never resurface!

Heat coursed through me from her, her hands shot up out of nowhere and reached into my hair... we were back in the meadow once more, with no one there but the gauze of nature and desire. She caressed my scalp, or was she trying to pull my hair out...?

_Erm, Edward... that is a bit... _Alice's voice in my mind, directed at me and met with no comprehension and only distracted frustration at her trying to pull me from this _drug._

Were there eyes watching us? They were watching us, but why did it feel like we were hidden in plain sight once more...

_Edward!_ Alice yelped so loud in her mental anxiousness that I pulled away from Angela abruptly and looked sharply to my left at her. The whole school _wasn't _watching, thankfully, but Isabella, Jessica and Lauren were at risk of having their eyes roll out of their heads with the way they allowed the pair of visualizing jelly balls to sit on the rim of their sockets.

_Such a rebel! _Emmett congratulated _Making out right before Sex Ed! Sex Ed-ward... I like this new you! Bravo!  
>So you have gone from prude to over sexed vampire in a matter of seconds? <em>Alice scolded, feeling sorry for 'poor' Angela and I grinned beside my self; only my smile was directed at Angela-who was still recovering from my attack.

"Wow!" Angela breathed, flushed and still enticing.

"I apologise" I lied. "I don't know where _that_ came from" partly true.

"Yeah" Angela breathed "It's like it flew straight out of the centre of the earth!"

Xx~xx~xX

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Apologies for the cliffhanger, but I am working on bursts and feelings with this... to help with the still developing plotline! This wouldn't make sense to be like ten thousand words... trust me, I did that in WSTFL and it challenging for the reader and me... sore fingers and all.**

**Reviews are gratefully appreciated and thank you constant reader and reviewer! A lot of people aren't impressed by Edward's little meeting with Tanya but if it is any consolation... Edward isn't impressed with himself.**

**I will try and do a sketch of Edward and Angela as the cover but for now... its going to be Rob pale and pretty ;) **


	22. The Birds, The Vampires and the Bees

**THE BIRDS, THE VAMPIRES AND THE BEES**

"You should take your seats at the back" Alice whispered quickly, ignoring Jasper's insistent tugging on her hand, and his slew of complaints on how nosey she was about everything. "Yes, take your seats at the back... Rosalie and Emmett will be at the other side of the class and Jasper and I will be..."  
>Alice frowned for a second, her tiny nose scrunching up and eyes pulling back from reality.<p>

"I think" she grumbled "Argh. It's all so... hazy"

"What is hazy?" Angela leaned in whispering, imitating Alice's secretive stance.

"Why, the future Angela!" Alice grinned suddenly, amused by Angela's question while Angela was left thoroughly confused by Alice's answer. "Okay, I have to go... Jasper is in a sulking mood, understandably. Room filled with humans and all, I doubt we will be sticking around... you know how humans smell when they get all hormonal, their like marinating chicken, eh?"

"I always thought they were more like _lamb_" Angela deadpanned, her eyes were wide and a strenuous grin was stuck on her face; Alice threw Angela's paling face one last huge grin before bouncing off by Jasper's side to a back seat near the exit. "Marinating Chicken?" Angela asked me, trying to be nonchalant about her gauche feelings towards Alice's blasé take on her being in the 'know' with vampirism.

"Remember the talk about vegetarians?" I asked her, enjoying the feel of her tiny fingers wrapped around two of my fingers, the heat luscious and saturating through my skin. Angela nodded once, looking around in case someone was paying us more attention past our joined hands.

"Well, Jasper is a vegetarian..." I paused and laughed morosely "A very _hungry_ vegetarian... in a room filled with cold meats and you have just placed him in front of a lovely chicken. He is doing well, he is ignoring all the cold meats... sure, the chicken is in front of him but he can handle that too... for a while"

"Until you marinade it" she whispered, taking her seat beside me clumsily, absorbed and terrified by the further illustration of exactly what it meant to be a vampire.

"Yes" I sighed, leaning back in my seat and watching her "That's what the next hour will be for him as we go through this lesson; the chicken will be marinating steadily until he really has to leave the room"

"Okay, but... why... he is always in classes surely he is used to the cold meats and chicken..." she frowned in confusion.

"Trust me, I have done enough of these dreadful sex ed classes to know that while being educated on the benefits of abstinence and the dangers of sex, human's tend to get so absorbed in the title and soon you have a room filled with adolescents thinking of nothing but sex. Adrenaline and hormones... they sweeten blood; they sweeten the scent of humans. About mid way in the lesson, this room will be unbearably... stuffy and painfully bonbon to be in"

She pushed her glasses up, glancing to her left were Isabella was sitting awkwardly with Mike Newton and then she looked over to Jessica two rows in the front, Jessica was casting narrowed looks back at Isabella. As much as the kiss between Angela and I had been entirely amazing, only three people had witnessed it and they had not been given nearly enough time to discuss it with the rest of the school... and as such, it was forgotten momentarily for other petty problems.

Of course, Jessica was equally about Mike as she was about me and Isabella's mind was a veiled vault filled with dangerous thoughts, I was certain. Lauren was nothing but outrage at my gall to kiss Angela, and more so in front of her. But it was all petty, regardless, only a little itch that felt more like a tickle than anything.

"Will it be the same for you?" she asked and in the same breath she sighed disappointed "Of course it would be the same"

"No, not at all!" I smiled at her "Remember what I told you about how some of us were brought into this world differently, born and raised vegetarians?"

"Yes"  
>"Jasper and Alice weren't" I said and then groaned when Alice hollered in her mind that she had been a rather successful new born. Of course she would be listening, straining herself past the chatter of the humans, Jasper's groaning to be away from it all and her own discomfort in the slowly heating up room "Well, Alice was... she knew who she was to be, so she just was that person... naturally"<p>

"Right" Angela stated, understanding half of my explanation. "So, Jasper finds it the hardest but you have been at it for so long that... you won't leave?"  
>"You were worried I would have to leave you?" I asked her and she looked down at our hands, her small creamy caramel one cradled beautifully in my ivory hand, sitting over the ugly plastic armrest of my seat in determined casualness-as though it was the most natural thing in the world. "It would be but a scratch to my throat, being in here, I am well fed... besides, I have been very careful since Isabella. I would be being exceptionally greedy to just... lose my self in this room over <em>hormones.<em>"

_What are you trying to say about my man, hmm?_ Alice demanded and I chuckled lightly. I really should ban her from watching her reality shows about Jersey and other shallow female documentations.

"You should pay attention" I told Angela, nodding my head in the direction of a very angry looking Leah Clearwater. She was glaring at our group, angry and irritated-her thoughts nothing but a snarled web of frustration over her family and some haphazard guy.

Our eyes met and Leah Clearwater's eyes narrowed with distaste at me. I was too pale to her, I was too good looking to her and she hated my snobbish wealth. There were a lot of other things she was throwing my way, excuses and reasons to this intense dislike she had for my family. She was Quileute after all, and it could only have lasted so long before she was bought in to her cultures beliefs.

She rolled her eyes, her hair a mess and clothes a lot less fitting than they usually were. With one casual flick of her hand, the lights went off and the nurse stood in front of the moderate audience, stepping into the light of the projector and began the lesson.

"Responsibility..." she began and I zoned out. I had heard this a thousand times, and I had no use for the knowledge anyway.

Angela's little hand was slack in mine, the warmth of it had left my own skin comfortably heated and its velvety quality so smooth and delicate I had to measure my pressure and gauge her reaction; I would die if I bruised her.

I smoothed the back of her hand with my thumb, her other four fingers curling over the rim of my hand automatically. The skin there was terrifyingly soft, the veins like silk threads under the gauze membrane. I ran my thumb carefully over each bump of her vein, the feel of how malleable the tunnels for her blood were tantalising my senses, the way they moved with willing submission under her skin, over the many bones of her hands was bordering on sensual.

"Edward?"Angela asked, and I met her eyes. Her hand was no longer cradled in mine over the armrest, it was now held in the air in front of me and I had been studying it like the precious art work it was.

She was nothing but fear and excitement... or was that me.

"Don't mind me" I smiled gently, begging her internally to be calm and allow me my fascinations and enthralments "I don't think I have ever... really held a hand"

"A hand?" she laughed softly, Paul Patton turning around and shushing her little giggle. I snapped my head at him, without any thought to the action and a soft growl worked its way up my throat towards him but by some miracle I managed to swallow it back down before it was let out. Instead, Paul Patton had to deal with a glare from a half instinctual vampire.

Instinctual...

"Paul, if you don't know the functions of your body by now, I think you need to divorce your parents. They are insufficient at their job, evidently or maybe they should have had this lesson on abstinence and saved themselves a lot of trouble" I snapped, trying to get a hold of myself. He blanched through the dimness and then he spun around stiffly, aggravating the person next to him into huffing at him.

"Erm..." Angela was still trying to pull her hand out from mine, I realised; I had frozen my grip into a cage around her hand. I let go and she quickly pushed her hand under her other arm, thinking that it was impossibly hot, and how lovely my touch had been. Absurdity one oh one, her hand should be impossibly frozen and my touch should have been horrifying, repulsive. "What was that about?" she asked.  
>"He didn't need to shush you" I whispered, frowning.<p>

"I made a noise"  
>"He did it because he thinks you are unprotected" I answered.<p>

"Unprotected?" she raised an eyebrow. I went over my sentence and groaned, goddamned instincts. Of course Angela brought out the human in me, lost over decades, but there was still the vampire in me-that monster-and although she really was the predator in this romance, stealing and stalking my dead heart as she did... the monster in me craved for her, and came out for her just as much as it did for Isabella's blood. But of course, with different intentions...

Dangerous intentions nonetheless, because just maybe... I could learn something literal from our nurse in this sex ed class. Abstinence saves lives. Not that she would consider... the opposite of the slogan, not that I should ever contemplate the contents of the negative of the saying.

I refused to wonder, contemplate, muse... think over it. But the monster in me purred, and I realised that it had something in common with my vague humanity finally, and this was what made me ever more dangerous to Angela. I was attuned to her as a human male in all base instincts, and thus... attuned to her as a vampire, in all overpowering instincts.

"Edward?" she pulled me from my silence, her hand touching the back of my hand this time, tentatively covering my larger hand and pressing over the hard marble flesh with subtle strength.

"It doesn't matter, I apologize" I sighed and glaring at Paul Patton's head I whispered loud enough for the boy to hear "Paul, I apologize"

He turned his head, alarmed and nodded spastically before turning around in his seat once more and slumping, praying he could turn invisible.

"I wasn't saying apologize or anything, about my hand..."Angela sighed, confused and concerned by my behaviour, just as much as I was and just as amused as Rosalie and Emmett were, a few feet away-to far by human standards to be concerned with us, and yet they were. Older siblings, think they have experience it all... "Edward, what's happening?"

She imitated my movements from a few seconds ago over my hand and electricity coursed through my veins, through my chest and into my mind before rushing so suddenly back down, all the way to my toes and through every other hidden place on my body. It was no direct imitation, for her hard massaging was nothing but a feather moving over my skin and then she decided to trace my more prominent veins lightly and I was lost... I had never known such a light touch, such intimacy.

"This is what it is, Angela" whispered, looking at her face intently, my breathing suddenly aggravated with no purpose save to illustrate what it meant to be prey under Angela Weber, putty in her hands. "This is it, being in love... as a vampire"

"You bully nerds..." she wanted to sound joking, her mode of deflection whenever things got... intense, concentrated in heat and distraction. She liked her little schedules and rules, and when things became like this... so precarious, so dangerous... oh, maybe I should adopt her method of handling.

"I apologised to him" I tried to smile but my lips only twitched. A few snickers erupted in the front; we must have gotten to the intercourse part of the lesson.

"Yes, you did" she gulped, and then coughed-forced-an excuse to blink and break the spell. She took her glasses off, which were clean by all accounts, and began wiping them with the hem of her top.

"Quiet!" Leah Clearwater roared her voice a whip. I looked up and met her eyes once more; she folded her arms and looked away. This lesson was trying to her; this lesson was trying to us all.

"We should pay attention" Angela whispered, placing her glasses back on. I had to smile, because as she became the martyr to our abrupt explosions of tension, she cheekily returned her hand over mine and resumed her tracing of my veins.

She kept her head facing the screen, that was flipping through slide after slide of information that no one cared for-they already knew everything they needed to know about contraceptives (except for Paul, poor Paul). Her pointer finger lifted over my skin, her thoughts imagined my hand in her mind-of course she wasn't seeing things as I was, I could see the glow of her skin, the heat in her face, her gentle biting of her lips... the way her eyes were slightly glazed behind the glasses...

She reached the cuff of my shirt and sighed, smiling the tiniest bit and already formulating her plans. She was being out of character and she knew it... but I had been out of character too, kissing her as I had done, and Angela was something other than shy when she was with me. She busied her hand with bringing my cuff up, pushing it over my forearm while I grinned, desperately trying not to laugh.

She succeeded in ridding my arm of the sleeve, the length of it bunched up at the nook over my elbow but then she could sense my humour and grew self conscious.

"Well, since you have a hand fetish...?" she whispered, ill timed with the nurse announcing how to place a condom and whipping out a banana from her toolkit... Angela's hand froze mid-grip around the smaller part of my arm where her fingers wound half way around, as the laughs and chortles erupted in the audience. Of course, she was spared the true mental applause and groans of desire...

But neither of us was spared the awkwardness of the movement of Angela's hand with regards with Nurse Fuller's demonstration in front. I wanted her to remove her hand and spare us both this extremely different form of tension-entirely different from the playful nature of our other electrical apprehensions, but then I wanted her to carry out what she wanted to do; how she wanted to feel the cold hard flesh, to rub and trace the long muscled shape of my arm and trace the prominent veins that twined around it...

My breathing pushed out violently and my chest rose and deflated, I was breathing in the sweet smells of blood around us, trying to ignore Angela's own scent-steadily intoxicated, loosing focus. She didn't remove her hand and instead whispered quickly "Are you okay?"  
>"Okay with what?" I whispered back, looking at her lingering hand instead of her face.<p>

"With this?" she asked, her hand squeezing my arm hard, so gently and tenderly before she relaxed her grip and lazily ran her fingers over the length of my arm till the bend, were the shirt was scrunched up in.

"Ah" I let out a short involuntary moan, sinking into my chair and closing my eyes. "You don't know how that feels..." I told her, my free hand holding my head up. I felt tired, exhausted and acutely energized simultaneously.

She stopped suddenly, letting out a forced cough and clamped her hands on her lap as though she hadn't realised what she had been doing all this time, doing to me with her light as air touches and hard as a feather massages. "We..."  
>"Should pay attention?" I finished for her, my voice rough. I opened my eyes and saw her bright glow, her eyes still clouded slightly and thoughts a slew of questions, a tinge of shame and the subtle dose of lust she was desperately trying to quell.<p>

"I don't know what got into me" she whispered back "Into us"

"You should get into her" Emmett whispered purposefully and I closed my eyes, groaning along with Rosalie.

"I started this little exploration, I should apologize" I said.

"But I should know better, I am a girl" Angela countered and I laughed then, startling an engrossed Paul (who I now knew had a crush on the new and terrifying Leah Clearwater).

"So, you think I am weak because I am male?" I asked her and she grinned, some of her concern forgotten.

"You are a lot more sensitive" she said "I think... your skin is more sensitive, even though it is harder..."  
>"You are very dedicated to the study of vampire specimens" I chuckled.<p>

"Not as dedicated as she should be, to vampire anatomy" Emmett murmured and Rosalie, finally, curbed his carefree commentary with a solid punishment that did indeed see him joining Angela and I in Spanish. Jasper and Alice were long gone, the lesson almost completed.

"I pinched you as hard as I could..." she said in awe "And you..."

I felt nothing but a sultry kneading, my eyes drooping and lips parting... no control over myself. If I could blush, watching this debauched image of me in her mind-so lost in her touch and feel, I would be as red as a tomato.

"Don't forget to take your goody bags!" Mrs Fuller announced, the lights switching on suddenly. Angela cringed back from the change in light while everything suddenly brightened to a polarization for me, and Leah Clearwater's frown at me was still working on her face as she scanned the children and passed my startled face. She didn't like that I was seated at the back, lounging as I was in my seat and leaning unconsciously into Angela as Angela leaned into me too.

Well, her and a few people didn't like this obvious development between Angela and me and just maybe, Isabella and her two friends would only get to give out detail on the kiss but not the announcement on Angela and I's new relationship.

Petty High School, the worst sort of Purgatory... if I could but break myself out of it and scoop Angela into my arms and run to some safe haven...

"Let's go" I sighed, rising up and picking her bag up. She thought about protesting, but decided so much of her energy had been drained in this one lesson and she needed to save it for more observations of a vampire.

"Don't forget your condoms, Angela!" Leah half called-snarled as we passed her. I stopped abruptly, Paul bumping into my back painfully for him, and turned to the little table with packets littered over it.

"I erm..." Angela blushed furiously, looking at Leah ashamed and wishing I would walk on ahead which of course ensured that I remained standing by her side. Well, that explained a lot; Angela had connected to Leah over the last class, and Leah in her scorned woman vendetta now thought I was out to use Angela. If the split personality woman wasn't so concerning in her two intensities... I may actually find it endearing that she was looking out for Angela.

"Take the condoms, Angela" Leah commanded, waving the packet indicatively, and causing a few snickers to burst through from the children moving behind us.

"I don't need them" Angela said in a tiny voice and I felt my eyes widen as her mental tone kept no conviction to her declaration. She didn't need them because she knew her and I would not be going down that path, she wasn't convinced she didn't need them because one day she would have a normal life or a combination... I wasn't given a chance to lose myself in all the hidden meanings behind her lack of certainty.

"Here" Leah casually tossed the condoms to me, and I caught each of them easily in my hands "She's right; she won't need them... but you will"

"No I won't" I said quickly

"Humour me" Leah growled, grabbing a small bag filled with colourful condoms and placing them in my hands before folding her arms over her chest and giving me another scowl "And if you don't use them, hey... keep them for a rainy day. I hear Forks has a lot of those..."  
>"Condoms?" Angela asked confused.<p>

"Rain, dear" Leah smiled beside herself.

Xx~xx~xX

"Well, that went from awkward to kill me now fast!" Angela laughed, shoving her hands in her pockets and peering up at me. "Uh... we have to get it out of the way, Edward"  
>"I kissed you, you played... the hand version of footsy with me and Ms Clearwater gave me a condom for each day of the year" I said and then added lightly "Oh, and I discovered that Paul Patton has an unhealthy crush on Leah Clearwater"<p>

"Why do you call her Leah Clearwater?" Angela asked.

"Only because that's how all the other teachers think of her, because she is so young" I said. "We should talk about it before we reach Spanish" I said, dreading Emmett and the embarrassment that came with sharing Carlisle's venom with him.

"Okay, let's begin with the kiss?" she asked softly.

"I have wanted to do that for a long time, and I surprised myself when it happened" I said "I am sorry I startled you"

"It was... lovely" she whispered and then pushed her glasses up, trying not to lose track because of the memory of it "... you were studying my hand?"  
>"You also studied my hand, Angela" I countered.<p>

"Only because its so... beautiful and... lovely...and..." she stopped, adding mentally proclamations of the masculinity of my hand, the lovely length of my fingers, and the feel of my skin before cringing back at the reminder that I had heard her regardless of her not voicing it out. She looked at me suspiciously, daring me to voice out her thoughts but I didn't play into her hands.

"The same reason as you" I said "Everything about you fascinates me and sometimes I just need to..."

"Touch" she finished and I chuckled "And the uhm, condoms... I mean, is it so obvious to even ms Clearwater that you and I are...we are..."

"I want to be your boyfriend Angela" I said quickly "but I have to be honest, it isn't sufficient for me at present and I think I am asking too much..."  
>"As long as this is not a proposal, I think I can handle!" Angela laughed nervously, her heart shuddering at the word 'boyfriend'.<p>

"Would you consider me your..." there were a few words I wanted to use, but she was so fragile in her stubbornness, trying to downplay our overpowering emotions "Singular Attachment of the Heart?"

"Boyfriend it is!" she laughed, charging ahead of me and shooting me one challenging look. I followed her obediently, lost in the beautiful monogamy of it and the underlying worry leaving a bitter sweet taste to my joy; I would confront the issue of the intricacies of her future when they came...

For as much as I could exist forever, she only had a lifetime to live and be alive.

Xx~xx~xX

"Angela!" Emmett blamed me for his future coming true. Somehow, it was my fault he was incapable of paying attention to Rosalie in favour of teasing me. "You come over here and sit right between Eddy and I"  
>"Eddy?" Angela squeaked, still terrified of a harmless Emmett.<p>

"It's all a show he is putting up for you" I sighed.

"In hopes you will put out..." Emmett began and I clipped him over the head, too fast for a shuffling Angela to notice. She moved behind me and sat nearer to me, between Emmett and I.

"So..."Emmett grinned, leaning over the table on his arms and staring amusedly at Angela "I have never had a human friend"  
>"You have never had a friend, period, Emmett" I sighed.<p>

"Oh, come on... Tanya is my friend" his eyes flashed and mine widened. Angela was too perceptive, she noticed and had already begun storing information away for a later quiz. I was grateful for her desire to always ask questions later...

"How long have you been..."Angela began, wondering if it was a rude question. I was suddenly grateful she had been acquainted with Emmett before anyone else-Emmett was vaguely aware that Angela was human, already forgetting she was _other _in favour of her being a key to teasing his _brother_.

"She wants to know your age" I said.

"Fifty or so" Emmett answered indifferently "You?"  
>"Erm, sixteen" Angela's voice refused to increase in volume and if she were not conversing with the preternaturally gifted, she would never have been heard "Just shy of seventeen"<br>"Ah, a year younger than Edward!" Emmett said airily before adding in a tone reminiscent of Alice's doom and gloom voice "For now"

"For now?" Angela asked.

"Uh, you told her you were immortal, didn't you?" Emmett asked "I mean, that goes right after your acquired taste"

"She knows" I snapped and then too fast for Angela to hear, I growled "Stop scaring her!"

"Scaring...!" Emmett was genuinely taken back. He leaned closer to Angela, who n turn leaned closer to me for comfort, which in turn filled me with warmth at knowing she associated acceptance and safety with me.

"Angela" Emmett said sternly "Am I scary?"  
>"A bit" Angela whispered.<p>

"Scarier than..." he pretended to think "Edward?" he asked, and Angela nodded her head.

"Well Edward, I am pleased to alert you that you are infatuated with a well thinking human with all five senses operating at full capacity" Emmett announced, leaning away from Angela with a pleased smile on his face.

"Infatuated?" I frowned at him.

"It will be called nothing else until you two make lo..." he began and I hissed, startling Angela slightly.

"Okay, enough" I sighed "I need to help Angela with her Comprehension"  
>"I heard about the ten thousand condoms that crazy teacher from the reservation gave you" Emmett said absently, picking one of Angela's glitter pens and remembering it as a similar one to the one I had taken from her once.<p>

"She isn't crazy!" Angela said sternly, surprising Emmett slightly.

"Oh, yes she is!" Emmett chuckled "What she should have done was given _you_ contraceptives, unless she has a brand of titanium rubbers we don't know about. IN fact, she should have given Edward a book on female anatomy…"

"I think that's about enough" I sighed, grabbing Angela's chair and scooting her closer. "Unless you want to join our abstinence club?"  
>"Shhhh, I am trying to learn this again" Emmett chuckled, pushing his book out in front of him and grabbing a bright green glitter pen from Angela's pencil case. "Fourth time should be a charm, eh? Especially with this lovely magical pen..."<p>

"You already know Spanish" I snapped and then in an infinitesimally softer tone that suggested Emmett had a mental condition, I said to Angela "He already knows Spanish"  
>"Yes, but not as well as you do" Emmett murmured distantly.<p>

"Only from lack of distractions!" I defended, enjoying Angela's quick fondness of Emmett.

"Oh, yes... those _nasty_ distractions" Emmett said in the same aloof tone "I don't see you getting any of those soon. Bet those condoms are going to be rare _unused _artefacts a couple of decades from now"

Xx~xx~xX

She wasn't shocked when she came up to her room and I was sprawled on her bed, her teddy bear lying beside me. It felt like I was reaching this point since the first moment I opened my eyes to immortality, and my happiness was only increased when her thoughts and feelings were almost similar to mine.

She was in bliss, and I was in cautious bliss. I knew the delicate nature of our budding 'Attachment', I knew already what she would sacrifice because I had already lived a lifetime and understood all the natural things that humans had to go through to be human, at the end of it all.

But I was impossibly selfish with her, impossibly afraid of losing her... I couldn't tell her, I couldn't bring it up just yet. I wanted this moment to last a lifetime, but she only had a lifetime and then there would be no going back. Only regrets and disgrace at what I had cost her for my own happiness...

"Sometimes I can't tell if you are happy or sad" she sighed, placing her cup of coffee on her dressing table carefully "I mean, by all accounts, I would say we had a great day at school and yet here you are..." _In all your glory, spread on my bed like some fallen angel and so obviously over thinking the lack of world peace around us._

"I will repeat, you have the most beautiful thoughts" I chuckled and she pouted, stirring her coffee.

"Would you agree that we had a great day?" she asked, taking a sip of her hot beverage and sitting carefully on the little ottoman, watching me in half adoration. I opened her eyes and challenged her with my complete adoration of her, and she became aware that this was the first time we were alone since we had been tweaking each others unhinged magnetism in sex ed.

I became aware of it too, and we stared at each other in fear for a moment, before, like she always did, she deliberately coughed the uneasiness away.

"I asked you a question, Edward" she tried to go for admonishing look, but I could see the glow spreading over her face and of course, I was a telepath... but I wasn't allowed to be a telepath just yet by Angela, so I had to pretend to rely on the initial.

"You are blushing" I stated.

"Well, those of us who have blood tend to do that" she hinted.

"I would say I was blushing too, then" I chuckled "But even if I could, I doubt I would do it with such elegance and with such skill as you do, Angela"  
>"Don't tease me, Edward" she sighed, hiding behind her coffee mug momentarily "I don't want to fight with you"<br>"Because I am not as scary as Emmett?"

"Why do you want to be feared!" she laughed.

"Because... I think I am a little afraid of you" I said "I think you make me a little too anxious, past wondering about your safety and health... just... its terrifying when someone can make you do and say things with no control"  
>"Is that part of being a vampire?" she asked "Control"<p>

"Yes" I got up, sitting carefully in the middle of her bed and placing her teddy bear on my lap.

"Controlling your emotions?" she asked and I nodded and she sighed "Your feelings, your actions... it must be tiring controlling all of that!"

"We don't tire" I said automatically. "Part of not sleeping. Sleeping is the body's way of recovering after strain of day to day life"

"Today... in the gym... when I held your arm..."

I immediately remembered that too short few minutes, with vampire accuracy and my body wanted to play those feelings again. I distracted my self fearsomely.

"I could have knocked that poor boy's chair all the way to the front of the gym!" I forced myself to laugh "If my leg had shot out or something..."

"Control" she mused, watching me and replaying the image, with little detail except for the sound I had made and the feel of my strong arm in her delicate hand. "That's why you are so careful with me?"  
>"Yes" I said smiling. "Does that cause you concern?"<br>"What, that you could accidentally crush me if you got a bit too worked up or send something flying to Japan if you weren't thinking straight?"  
>"Yes"<br>"No, doesn't concern me at all" she lied "What bother's me is how you can be so... erm, uh... trigger happy"  
>"Oh, come on Angela!" I fell back on her bed, half ashamed and half humoured by her guts to go there with me. "You pointed out how sensitive my skin is, you can hardly blame me for that!"<br>"I don't blame you" she said gently "It's... fascinating"  
>"I don't know how I feel about my girlfriend..." I was aware on how possessive my voice turned on the word 'girlfriend' and the little need in me to announce the fact more often "...finding me as fascinating as her new pet project... or am I your new pet project?"<br>"I apologise" Angela said solemnly "I haven't had a lot of vampire boyfriends"

"Don't you worry yourself" I chuckled "I haven't had a lot of human girlfriends... and the level of fascination, enthralment and obsession I have for you is of the... _distressing_ kind. I really should be checked out by Carlisle, I fear I have developed a neurosis as a result of being so helplessly in love with you"

She drank her coffee for a minute, falling into my words and thinking of our kiss... wondering if it would be odd if she requested it now. I remained quiet, I was steadfast on keeping my telepathy from rendering her speechless... although the temptation to use it was there, only it felt ill knowing I would be using it against her…

"Have you..." she stopped and then took in a breath and rushed out with "Edward, have you had a girlfriend?"

"Uh..." I thought about the nameless blonde from my human past, I thought about Rosalie and I in relation to Carlisle's unsubtle hints on his intentions for us, I thought about Tanya... no, if the way I treated Angela was the underlying result of feeling for a person as your other half then neither had been my girlfriend most certainly, and barely a friend in any regard. "No, no I can't say I have. I have never been on a 'date' or had an intimate dinner... in fact, I was wondering Angela... because I do love my formalities... what would you think of meeting my family? Officially?"  
>"A bit too early to be meeting the folks, don't you think?"<p>

"Are you scared of them being vampires?"  
>"No" she laughed "I just think I would like to have the date, the dinner and the first fight before I meet your mum!"<p>

"We fight all the time" I pointed out.

"Oh, you can hardly call those little disagreements fights" she eyed me, shaking her head.

"You are always poking me" I chuckled. "And I am sure it would be sore if it wasn't for my...thick skin"

"Well, you can tell your mum that I bully you when I meet her" she smiled.

"I will tell her, you know" I said "And vampire mothers are known to be very protective"

"I must have missed that bit of information on the last Vampire's in the Serengeti on Nat Geo" she tutted and I laughed.

"Alice is dying to become your friend" I told her "Your delaying is making her very unagreeable"

"And is an unagreeable vampire trouble?"

"Trouble when it is Alice Cullen!" I told her seriously "She has means and methods of torture that don't involve any actual physical contact, and with the added extrasensory nature..."

"Sound more like she gives you trouble for _my _delay" Angela laughed.

We were silent for a moment, again the reminder of our gym class and that we were alone rose in both our minds and tickled the warmth and cosiness of her room with that unfriendly lethal electricity. She stared at her cup for a second, and then rose tentatively from her seat, never looking at me.

"I still don't get it" she whispered, peeking at me from behind the curtain of her hair.

"Why my skin is hard, why I am immortal... what I could possibly have looked like when I was human?" I filled in her silent questions and she nodded, taking three careful steps towards the bed and taking an equally careful seat at the edge of the bed. I immediately moved forward, breathing her and letting the thirst be irked as well as the other poorer symptoms of being a vampire and a male be awoken once more by her.

"I may have been pale" I said thoughtfully. "I can't quite remember, our human memories tend to fade"

"You look like you could only ever have been pale" she smiled, looking at me shyly. We were only a breath from each other, her temperature coaxing my skin to come alive.

"I had green eyes" I told her, staring into her brown ones and feeling the heat work its way through my cold insides. "My hair was always... this odd colour, but I suppose the manageability became worse with the added volume. I was tall and proud"

"Well, those are the easy parts you could remember... you still are those things"

"You think I am still proud, after falling in love with you as I have?"

"Hmm" she looked at her hands coyly "I think it is I that is at risk of being conceited, with falling in love with you and having you fall in love with me too... against all manner of obvious obstacles"  
>"You are beautiful, don't be ridiculous!" I chided her immediately the moment her thoughts turned to such illogical wistfulness. "Absurdity can only be tolerated when it is of the probable sort"<br>"Probable Absurdity?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Your skin..." I began, suddenly afraid of announcing things that should be obvious. I felt vulnerable, letting her know the aesthetics she possessed and how they affected me. "It glows honey cream with powdered cherries when you blush" I told her and what did she do? She blushed; glowing honey cream with cheeks tinged in powdered cherries.

"Is there anything else?" I pressed her, touching her hair and feeling the silk strands move over the skin of my finger tips.

"How strong are you?" she asked. "I am having an image of Clark Kent strong..."  
>"You are right" I chuckled "Clark Kent strong... but not invulnerable. Our only kryptonite would be fire and when it comes to strength... our skin is what allows us to be that way. Our skin is our shield and weakness in both matters of strength and fire"<p>

"But how strong?" she insisted. I laughed, of course her curiosity was on fire right now, of course she was fascinated with my being a vampire and of course I was flattered by her curiosity and fascination, though slightly concerned-I was still a vampire, and she was at risk of confusing me for Clark Kent.

I got up from her bed, and pretended to stretch. She watched me with anticipation, moving over the bed to the spot I had been in and crossing her legs under her.

"Well…" I sighed "This strong…" I crouched slowly, so she could see the movement and lazily felt for the rim of her bed frame, calculating which place to hold in order to distribute the weight of the bed so it remained steady and then picked the bed up, with her on it, in one fluid movement and with one hand. I was upright, and she let out a soft yelp.

Her eyes were as wide as saucers, staring around her room in excitement and disbelief. I lazily ruffled my hair with my left hand, still balancing her bed with my right hand.

"That is… pretty strong" she breathed, staring at me. I put her back down carefully and she smoothed her bedding, giggling slightly.

"I could pick a car up, uproot trees" I told her "There is something that concerns me about today"

"What?"

"When Leah gave you… offered the erm, protection device…"  
>"Protection Device?" she chuckled "Really Edward?"<p>

"Okay, let me try it this way" I sighed sitting on her bed, far from her "You take your Christianity very seriously, right?"

"You know I do" she said softly, praying I wasn't going to the whole demons and angels melancholia.

"So you believe in no sex before marriage?"

"You are not proposing to me, I hope?" she laughed, half joking and more serious than anything.

"I am trying to tell you about my strength…" I whispered "My strength is the most natural thing to me, as a vampire. Trees are strong sturdy things to you, but precarious stalks to me. Rocks are hard and immovable but sturdy and still workable to me. My strength is my nature…"

"I have lost you" Angela breathed.

"Being gentle… not breaking doors when I open them, working the pedals of a car, holding your hand…" I whispered "That isn't…. easy. I had to be trained by Carlisle for a few years to manage my tactile senses, it requires a great deal of concentration, and I mean… after you get used to it, it's a constant humming instruction in the back of your mind to be careful and as light as a butterfly when with humans"

"Carlisle trained you to hold my hand?"

"No, he didn't" I said "And he wouldn't because in all instances… I am a vampire, I shouldn't be holding any human's hand save for a brief hand shake"

She was silent, trying to piece all my little worries into something logical. I couldn't wait for her, because she was trying to add everything up to a conclusion that suited her.

"You understand that I am in constant concentration, in this way of life, as a human?" I asked her and she nodded. "Do you understand how dangerous I would be… if I wasn't concentrating on my tactile senses?"

"You could kick poor Jimmy to the front…!" she stopped mid laugh, realising what I was saying to her. "And crush my hand?"

"I could never hurt you Angela" I said as sternly and as strongly as I could manage, trying to implore her anxiety to understand this "Nor would I put myself in a situation were I had no control… and your safety was compromised"

She thought about this for a minute, thinking about how sensitive my skin was and the information on how being human-like wasn't as easy for a vampire as it should be…

There was a reason why all our cars were vampire proof, our house treated for all sorts of strange accidents. I couldn't even begin to think on the type of 'accident' that could occur from losing control (which I would) if I were even in a state over the parental guidance thirteen position with Angela.

"You worry too much" was her contribution to my revelation.

"I don't think I am comfortable with you taking this lightly" I frowned at her.

"Leah Clearwater gives us ten thousand condoms and you think I want sex tomorrow?" she laughed and I blanched, my skin tingling and feeling particularly cool. "I am a virgin" she stated "…and we haven't been going out that long. We haven't gone out at all, Edward. And yes, I am Christian but unfortunately, I have my reservations about some of the… little… beliefs"

"You are lying" I called her out.

"I am revaluating my options" she countered "I thought I would love to wait…"  
>"You do realise that what you are saying can never be done, by me?"<p>

"You have pulled me into this" Angela frowned "You over think everything… We went from second kiss to discussing my first time?"

"Our…" I paused and said quickly "We are not negotiating anything, it cant happen…"

"You haven't either?" she asked in disbelief. Apparently, I was too good looking to be a virgin… I quickly retracted my joy of her and Emmett getting along; he would be a bad influence when it came to my virginity and her.

"No, turned too young and distracted by the war…" I muttered quickly, in grand disinterest " I never got around to it. I just… you cant want that from me?"  
>"Oh, but I do?" she said without thinking and blushed furiously the moment she realised what she had said. "I mean, I wouldn't mind"<p>

It seemed her and I were caught in a tango of grand disinterest.

"Oh, Edward!" she sighed "You are thinking like light years ahead! Can we fret and worry about now, not tomorrow?"

"I just don't want there to be… misunderstandings"

"I think you are being a virgin about this" she pursed her lips to stop from smiling.

"You are teasing me?" I smiled and she nodded

"I mean, you are a nineteen hundreds baby" she sighed "All chivalry and anti-devirginating all too willing maidens"

"You keep missing my point, I will hurt you if we are that intimate. That was all I was trying to illustrate" I said "Trust me… if I was…Ben…"

"Ben?" she laughed "You are jealous of Ben?"  
>"He is human, isn't he?"<p>

"Right, so you are jealous of every human male?"

"Actually, yes" I said. "That's reasonable?"  
>"And you accuse me of absurdities" she sighed "I thought we only accepted probable absurdities anyway?"<p>

"Well, it is acceptable and probable that your vampire boyfriend would be concerned with crushing you and jealous of all the other suitors out there that wouldn't…"

"Shut up!" she startled me, rushing up and winding her arms around my shoulders tightly, with as much strength as she could. I froze, she ignored this and whispered by my ear "A telepath that thinks too much, absurd"

I shuddered and she noticed, relaxing her grip and rubbing my shouldered. I couldn't speak, I couldn't think…

"Stop it" she commanded "Stop thinking about how you are a vampire and I am a human, just stop it this minute Edward!"

"I cant…" I whispered.

"You are strong" she told me resting her head on my shoulder, her scent hugging me and comforting my anxieties "You are fast… you are resilient.. and you are attuned to the thoughts of others. It is who you are Edward… if you want to start curbing all of it, all of you… then I wouldn't be with Edward. I would be with something other, someone else… some one counterfeit"

"I just wished…"

"That you were human?" she asked turning her head and nudging my cheek with her nose, such gentleness. "Then I wouldn't have met you, it was you who said that?"

"I did, didn't I" I laughed nervously, turning slightly so her head lolled tantalizingly gently over mine. I carefully wound my arm around her waist and scooped her up and placed her on my lap. Her grandiose reached its demise there, and I ceased to be the prey. The option to be her tyrant and predator arose fast as her nerves came alive and heart shuddered enthusiastically in her chest.

"I didn't tell you I was a virgin so you could think you could control me" I whispered in her ear and she shivered beautifully.

"I thought I was your predator?" her voice had dropped, tempting and sultry.

"Your quite a scrumptious predator then?" I asked her, lowering her onto the bed and moving controlled over her, letting my body hover over hers. She was alive, her eyes bright and shining and heart and skin anticipating me. "You smell lovely, Angela" I told her, nudging her neck with my nose and inhaling, the thirst and warmth such a bitter sweet, such a pleasure.

I trailed her jaw, feeling the sheer membrane with a new heightened appreciation of it brought about from being so alone with her. I held her hands over her head the moment she thought about touching me, roving and feeling… it seemed I was alone in my quest to _not crush her._

The restrictions only seemed to fuel her, her body had begun twitching, that anticipation in her driving me insane and I wished desperately that I could switch of my telepathy… heaven knows how enjoyable it was to hear her reaction to me, but hell knew how tempting it was to buy into its hallowed sin. First, she wanted me to touch her and I ignored it, keeping every sense of touch restricted to my lips and nose… kissing her face, feeling her eyelids under my lips, all with her hands wriggling furiously under the cage of my hand.

"Ah!" she breathed.

"Shhh" I whispered by her ear "Or I will stop?"

She remained silent momentarily before little sounds started working their way up her throat and released in tiny mewls. I was trying to understand which part of this was me teaching her a lessons, because the sounds she was threatening to erupt seemed to be more of a test on me.

She wanted to touch me, to feel me under her hands cool and hard. Didn't she understand? I would lose myself in her touch!

Or maybe she did understand and maybe that was exactly what she wanted…

"Are you suicidal?" I hissed, breathing over her mouth. She didn't hear a thing I had said, she couldn't see where she was, forgetting what her own room looked like in favour of staring into my darkening honey eyes…

Darkening…

I froze in confusion as two things happened simultaneously. The first, was her father's car pulling up and the chatter of the twins feeling my mind and grabbing a part of my attention… I was about to warn her of this, when the second thing happened as I was dealing with the confusion of my already fed self diving into thirst and some strange overpowering hunger that chased my gold eyes to darkness, and the twins excitement of seeing their sister.

The second thing, and the one I had been fearing all along, was how she wrapped her legs over mine and in an effort to lock me down onto her, she ended up rising over the bed and her body was momentarily flushed with mine. The heat of it, the feel of it, chasing any other thought that my intricate vampire mind could ever have out and I was filled with the desire to hold her to me for eternity.

"Angela!" I growled, moving her back down onto the bed as carefully as I could manage, which left me shuddering and shivering with the concentration of the action. She groaned and captured my lips in a hot volcanic kiss and for a moment, a saccharine flash of time, I had no worry left in my mind.

Human, vampire, colourful condoms, heaven and hell and eternity…

None of it mattered. Her lips were on mine and I was whole.

"Angela?" they opened the door, but I had already landed on the lawn outside and she was lying confused on her bed with her mouth puckered confused. I would have laughed, had I not been slightly irritated that our moment had not managed to last a life time.

"Hey!" Angela squeaked awkwardly, grabbing her pillow and hugging it as she sat up. I watched as her father peered in her room, noticing her flush and deciding his daughter had been taking a lengthy nap…

And not seducing a controlling vampire.

I was tempted to stay and witness her embarrassment, but of course… I needed to hunt now, as all the hungers in me synchronised and pushed at my thirst. It seemed she had taught me a lesson after all…

**AUHTORS NOTE;**

**To all those who are reading They Sought Out To Fight Love and The Cullen's Begin, do not be alarmed. There was a very **_**silly **_**mix up that happened when I helped open an account for my friend and then she thought she was in her account when she was in mine and well, long story short… I have to organise all the chapters and find them and then post them.**

**Very frustrating, as I had new chapter updates for all of them, I am aware. Apologies.**

**As for As I Am; **

**I think it helps while I draw up a suitable plot for Angela and Edward to go through the bliss and complications of their relationship. It is a bit awkward to keep it from being twilight like when Edward has to stay in his character, but I think certain parts of him will be pulled out by Angela… that we would never have seen in Twilight.**

**As far as plot goes, I have a feeling this will either be very long or have a sequel. I was thinking of just skipping the whole sequel thing and letting it be strangely long, with like two books in this one story… if it allows. **

**Xx**

**TJ**

**P.S, I made it a lil long for you! Hope you enjoyed..!**


	23. Anticipating the Future

**ANTICIPATING THE FUTURE**

**Xx~xx~xX**

"Why, if she loves me and I love her then surely it should be enough?" I said.

_Stop kidding yourself kid…_ Emmett snorted in his mind and before he could let out his thoughts into the real world-like he always did and like I normally appreciated him doing-I tutted and wagged my index finger at him in reproach. As much as I was having a lovely 'Boy's Discussion' with my father and two brothers, I wasn't up to being made fun of when it came to Angela.

"She is human" Carlisle sighed "You are a vampire; you are going to have to face this head on and deal with it. Vampire's have that effect on humans, you know this"

"I know this, Carlisle, but it's just like…" I mused thinking of all the first moments I had ever had with Angela; alone in her room, in the forest, in the library and in the meadow… in retrospect, it felt like I had been the one ruled by my hormones. Wasn't that what I had initially enjoyed about her mind? Sure enough, I was beautiful and intoxicating for those first few moments but after that I would turn back into 'Sad Edward Cullen' in need of a friend? She had never allowed me to intoxicate her out of her common sense before…

"It's like she isn't _trying_!" I stressed and Jasper coughed out a snigger. I eyed him in warning and he raised his hands palms up in a sign of truce, before trying to smooth his half destroyed shirt. Alice was yet again, going to kill him.

"Trying?" Emmett frowned in confusion. It was raining, the warm droplets falling in a thick mass through the forest canopy; the wind was gentle tonight and the night soft and warm. It could only mean it was a cold night for humans although the rainfall was manageable. I tried to steer clear of an image of Angela huddled in her bed, her teddy bear between her and her purple quilt, searching for warmth in her sleep.

Another pang, at the realization that I could never be her teddy bear. Silly little wants, silly little jealousies but there they were… brought about by watching every romantic comedy with Alice, reading Jane Austen and all sorts of other privately shameful dreamy activities I had indulged in over my decades because I now had an ideology of how I was supposed to conduct myself with Angela in order for her to feel she had a 'boyfriend'.

Did I feel I had a girlfriend? What was a girlfriend? I knew I had handed over to her the most fragile and precious part of me, attached it to her and left myself a zombie, a mindless servant to her every wish.

"Like before!" I sighed impatiently, an unjustifiable impatience with my brothers and father because they were not telepathic like I was; they couldn't just pick the meaning from my mind and it was unfair of me to expect them to understand my emotions, confusions and frustrations if I didn't understand them myself. But I was never a vocal being when it came to these petty weaknesses that resided in ones soul-or form, for me. "She was only half concentrating on reality and the other half of her mind was concentrating on my lips, on my hair and…"

Wondering what I looked like without my shirt… oh, those jealousies again and this time I had to laugh; I was jealous of Angela. She could wonder and muse about those things all she wanted and with abandon where as I… poor Sad Edward, could never allow himself to muse past her shirt or jeans because Poor Edward had a titanium memory and an obsessive sort of imagination, an obsessive sort of personality that would grab hold onto any one idea until it was fulfilled to its perfection.

That was the one thing, after my speed and telepathy, which had interested Aro in me.

"Why are you frowning?" Emmett whispered, and the thunder roared ahead of us. The calm rain was turning into a storm.

"Nothing" I sighed "I am saying, Carlisle… it's difficult to be in control when she can change the atmosphere so drastically, with her very scent"

"Interesting, human females would of course have similar biological fluxes in their scents when roused as vampire females do… but of course the human male counterparts can't sense their changes as intricately…" Carlisle mused and I narrowed my eyes at him, biting my tongue to stop myself from reproaching him for turning this into a science experiment. "And you, as a vampire male… would be acutely heightened to that, and as you don't associate Angela with blood, it would affect you more than if Angela were a vampire"

"As much as I don't appreciate you turning this into a case study" I chuckled "Maybe you are right"

'It's just a hypothesis" Carlisle said shyly.

"I don't see why we are discussing this" Jasper sighed "As much as it is fun to poke you on finally having a girlfriend, dear brother, it is more fun to point out you picked one you can do nothing but kiss and hold exceptionally carefully"

"Basically" Emmett sighed theatrically "Whether she let's you in on Victoria's Secret next time you see her, or swings down on a poll; you are royally fucked"

"Emmett" Carlisle chided and Emmett shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, come on, Dad" Emmett huffed, throwing in an impish grin "Esme isn't here"

"Well, I am here!" Carlisle frowned, never completely comfortable with the fact that Esme tended to be a more effective disciplinarian than his diplomatic 'Let's Discuss It' methods.

"And you are with us" Emmett grinned "And when in Rome?"

"You were saying, Edward?" Carlisle gave up.

"I was asking you for advice" I said.

"Vaseline and a night alone" Emmett offered and Jasper chuckled. "Dude, you are the one who picked a human as a girl, what can I say? You are going to be a virgin for a while…"

"A while?" I frowned at his thoughts "No, I am not turning her. She isn't going to be a vampire!"

"But she may not be a virgin for long?" Emmett asked and I looked away from him, unrelatedly deciding that Ben was going to have limited access to Angela. "Is this a temporary thing?"

"No, I love her Em! Cant you comprehend what that means for me?!" I said desperately and Emmett shrunk back from his playfulness, realizing just how complex the whole situation was.

"You love her, really…" he whispered frowning a little. "And you don't want to turn her?"

"Turn her into what, Emmett?" I asked him, smiling a little manically. "A vampire? A demon…"  
>"Oh, come off it!" Emmett snapped. "You love her and she has one lifetime… you have many. What the hell do you think is going to happen when she wants children and… what am I even saying! She is human; their emotions are not as intricate and permanent as ours are! She is a <em>child…<em> Edward. You have fallen in love with a creature that has the concentration of a fruit fly when it comes to its own reality!"

"I agree with Emmett" Carlisle said softly "You are thinking like a vampire, a matured vampire… maybe, you should think like a seventeen year old?"  
>"I am not seventeen!" I snapped irritated by Emmett's odd moment of insight-a side of the situation that I had not thought of. "I am a vampire"<p>

"And she is a child" Carlisle stressed "You are thinking of her future for her, and she is thinking of her present with you. In a few years time, she will be ready to have all these severe discussions about the future and her mortality with regards to you"

"So for now, bro" Emmett smiled "Live a little?"  
>"That solves one half of the problem" I grumbled.<p>

"You know the answer to the other half, son" Carlisle smiled, taking his shirt off and trying to rinse it with the rain and get the mud out of it. I never could fully understand how he always chose prey that insisted on going through the water when being chased.

"Abstinence it is" I smiled.

"Oh, please… You can't miss something you have never had" Emmett sniggered.

"Anticipation can be worse than craving" Jasper said ominously "She may never have had you for her to crave you, but she is anticipating you-and one can only imagine what sort of build up she is working up to in that hormone fuelled little human brain of hers"  
>"Not helping, Jazz!" I snapped "She cannot anticipate me because I will break her? Do you understand that part; I will break her, hurt her and harm her? And then… she will be no more and I will most certainly join her in extinction"<p>

"There are many ways to get around to sex without actually _having_ sex" Emmett sighed "And if you weren't so queasy about sex, you would know" and with that, Emmett zoomed through the dark light of the storm, his thoughts already steering to his wife, and it seemed anticipation was indeed the worst sort of longing.

"I am ignoring that" I said to Jasper and he shrugged, saluting Carlisle and walking briskly through the woods. As eager as he was for Alice, he was not eager for the one hour discussion about his torn shirt that he knew she knew they would be having. It seemed there could be all _sorts_ of anticipations…

"Ignore the hormonal human lover, that is all I can offer you!" Carlisle laughed and I cringed at his thought that I could ignore it for now, but there would be a time when I would be considering it. I was about to protest his thoughts when he raised his hand for me to not bother. "Will you be coming back home?"  
>"It's obviously going to be <em>noisy <em>tonight!" I snapped, jerking my head in the direction of the manor. He sighed and shook his head.

"Edward… you are happy, please try and spend your time enjoying that fact and not looking for holes in your joy, so you can bury yourself in them?" he put his shirt back on and patted my shoulder "Communicate with her that you are incapable of being that intimate with her, let her know you don't have that sort of control"  
>"Hmm" something about him saying I was incapable of that 'sort of control' bothered me but I was unsatisfied with their contribution, although I wasn't as confused and frustrated as I was before the hunting trip… I was suddenly more terrified of Angela. Terrified of being alone with her, because this time, I was aware that she dictated the atmosphere with her scent and the heavens knew I had grabbed on to that idea that there was something in her fragrance that could rid me of my control one sultry shedding at a time and now, I would obsessively try to dissect her scent and discover exactly what made it as intricate as it was.<p>

And then I would be in a sweet hell if I did inhale that, if I followed that scent. There was just no winning… there was no silver lining except to discuss it further but like Carlisle had pointed out numerous occasions in our eternity; in the long gone past when I had thought human's were nothing but dithering specimens ignorant to their wealth in containing a beating heart and glowing soul-Carlisle had always said that a humans emotions were quick and violent and their hormones were always the fuel to these abrupt fires. They had no control over them, and talking to Angela would really be asking her to be calm and dispassionate with me. To tread lightly, and approach each physical matter with tenderness… because I had no control that I knew of in such matters? But which vampire does (except Tanya) have control on such an intimate physical matter…? I had not heard of a male vampire, and that said something on the matter with regards to females and their ability for control.

Tanya…

Possibly, I had been talking to the wrong vampires. The Denali women had chosen this way of life because of their love for human males. The image I had received from Tanya's mind of one of her encounters resurfaced easily, and this time it was not met with unwanted interest and full blown chagrin but insurgency from my imagination that quickly began blurring the edges and faces of the visual to suit my own situation.

I tried to shy away from it, but it had already begun to have an outline. I could almost feel her skin against mine once more, the warmth of it and its sheer gauze quality, the membrane so delicate I needed to concentrate on each little pressure point I laid out on the velvet casing.

I was scared to be alone with her, and she truly had become a predator hadn't she…? But I was hypnotized and staying away was such an _illogical_ choice. I was already meandering through the forest, wet as I was, my t-shirt sticking to my skin from the warm icy rain and hair lying closer to my scalp, stray longer strands pressing against my forehead and water flowing carefree over my skin. I would need to go home for dry clean clothes for school… or I could pray that Alice would be kind enough to pass through Angela's and drop some off.

The latter seemed a more attractive choice for me; I could enjoy Angela within the safety of her being unconscious and her hormones joining her in slumber. The forest thinned out by the little stream that cut off our ancient territory to the land of the long lost Quileute Wolves. I stared into the darkness past the bubbling water, wondering what could have happened to the tiny band of wolf-men. I was filled with reverence for my father, an honor that I always hoped to convey to the world on behalf of him; he had specifically instructed us to keep our treaty. A promise made, is a promise to be kept.

I wished Alice could have seen them, the Quileute of old and their regal sort of beauty-those wolves. I was certain she would agree with me on that, their striking wild charm, but she would be less prone to being in awe like Carlisle when she caught a whiff of them. I could already see her rebuking their 'vulnerable maidens' (apparently that is all vampires enjoy, to the world-and little tribes too) in favor of fresh air…

Xx~xx~xX

Angela was asleep as I expected. She hadn't latched her window and I was filled with worry that she had wanted me to come earlier. I hoped that if her reason was for me to be back soon, it wasn't so we could continue our 'discussion'; surely not… she wouldn't want to do that while her brothers and father were active in the house.

And the idea that she would, was becoming more likely as I recalled her own abandon when it came to her hormones and my effect on them. How she could trust me that way… or maybe, Emmett was right. I was just no that scary…

Did I need for her to see me in that light? To know, that I was incapable of merging control and abandon-I had to be one or the other in full intensity.

She wasn't curled in bed, her teddy bear wasn't snuggled in her arm and the sweet little image I had been holding on to through my trekking in the forest was lost to the outside world, never penetrating her room. Her bedding was on the floor, the heater was on too high so the room was unbearably unventilated and sweet for me, and a lovely coaxing warmth for her. She was in shorts, a tank top and a thin sheen of sweat and I prayed she hadn't chosen this sleeping attire with the notion that I would be back to view it.

No, not sweet Angela. I was being paranoid. She wasn't out to 'get me'. She understood my fear when it came to harming her, and _accidentally_ was infinitesimally worse than _intentionally_.

I looked away from her long legs and her wild fiery ebony hair splayed out around her tranquil face and busied myself with tiding her room a little more thoroughly than she did. Her math's homework was half done, her English barely touched and on the bottom of the page there was a little scribbling of a circle with yellow and gold colors smudged together in the middle and a thick black outline closing around the lovely hue.

I had completed her Math's homework but knew better than to over do it. She liked taking her own credit for her work and as much as we would be having a discussion about the Math's being done by me, I didn't think I wanted a pouting and poking episode on the English work. Sensitive subject after I had told her I had 'allowed her' to be first. There was a picture of her mother behind a picture of her and her little brothers, I had never noticed it. Maybe because before I was too busy staring at her…

She was a beautiful woman, breathtaking with deep burnt honey skin and wide smoldering eyes and full lips like Angela. There was a self assuredness about her, a passion and precarious dangerousness. A thrill ran up my spine at the thought that Angela was this woman, she was by all accounts every bit a lioness as her mother only she had covered it all up in shyness and hesitance of her natural world and yet she was uncontrolled in letting that lioness out with me…

I looked at her sleeping face and saw her mother in there. Of course, her father wasn't in her features as we had both discovered he wasn't her biological father but her skin was a defined paleness in comparison to her mother-but that could be the Fork's weather. The image of her biological father from those two goons was vague and dismissive but he may have been a pale complexion.

Everything about her was hidden when she was awake, as though she had subconsciously and with extraordinarily perfect purpose, cloaked herself in demureness and delicateness-persistently allowing the world to believe her fragile and weak.

As she slept I could see the lioness of her mother in her, in her slightly parted full lips and the soft curves of her face, her full eyebrows and her small nose. Her tank top was slightly loose fitting as was all her clothing, that subconscious desire to hide her fierceness at all cost-maybe her mother had known that Angela was as dangerous as she was _dangerously _desirable to all manner of creatures and ingrained in her daughter the ability to camouflage herself and blend in for her own safety.

Why else would her dreams always be nothing but wild fire and fierce torrents of water, if they were too lazy to form context and meaning in her subconscious?

Ah, I was in love and terrified of it! In desperation for my own sanity, I remained free of my worries of the years to come and wondered on the moment-such a strange thing for an immortal who thought of minutes and years as one and the same. I turned her little heater to a lower setting, and covered her with her blankets-being sure to place her teddy bear in her arms. I sat back down contented, enjoying the innocent image I had finally achieved of her until morning light when she would cloak herself in all her half baked coyness and lead me into a false sense of security until she reminded me, as only she knew how to, that I was not in charge of my own pride and conceit and under her addictive spell forever.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

Angela always thought she was content. She never wanted for anything outside of what she had-save for her mother, but that was a different sort of desire altogether. She enjoyed her role as an older sister most of the times-there were unfortunate days when the twins behaved like terrorists. She enjoyed her school work and didn't mind the little nuances that came with high school life.

She had a relatively happy childhood and her teen years seemed to be as clear as day, and as angst free as she could have ever managed for herself. It wasn't any thing unique, there was nothing out of the ordinary or rare and special about her life and she wasn't so full of pride or a sense of elevation to leave this fact out. Her life, was the life of many a girl…

It was normal to the point of dullness.

She opened her eyes slowly, wondering if today would be the day her little detour into some fairytale would come to an end. The ceiling was the same ceiling she had been staring up at since the age of twelve; white and safe, and it was still intact so she was definitely in reality. She looked to her left, her curtains where open and the windows slightly ajar with a lovely breeze pushing through the sheer curtains and throwing the smells of the long gone storm inside.

She sat up and pushed her hair away from her face, her limbs aching from a long deep sleep and her stomach grumbling. She wondered briefly if she had left the curtains open, in the same instant knowing she hadn't and then smiling slightly at the thought of who had indeed, been kind enough to let her wake up to the warmth of the sun and not the squeals and shrieks of her brothers.

And right on cue, they came bouncing into her room dressed in their sports tracksuits and hair unbrushed. She was supposed to take them to school today, she remembered and if there was one thing that was irksome about having twin brothers, it was that they woke up at the same time. And Henry, was an early riser which ensured his twin was an early riser too.

"We are ready!" they yelped in unison and Angela groaned, falling back on her bed theatrically and peering at them from under her arm. "Angela!" they whined and she closed her eyes.

"You are up…" she quickly peered at her clock and resumed her unwilling-to-get-up pose "…at six forty five"

"It isn't six thirty" Henry said matter of factly "It's nine six, we are late"

"Right, I am sure Ms Bingley will understand" Angela grumbled "When I bring you there in the dead of night"

"Angie get up" Henry whined, tugging at her leg "Today is sports day! Daddy said you were going to take us and watch us! He even wrote you a letter for school!"

"I don't want" Angela grumbled playfully, watching as Henry's lower lip jutted out and a furrow dug itself in between his thick eyebrows. He was always the designated 'vocalist' of the two, the advocate for the rights of the Weber Twin Organization.

"Angela…" Henry warned and she laughed.

"I am up kiddo" she sighed, getting up and stretching. "Some privacy?"

He eyed her once, daring her to jump back into beg before beckoning for his brother to leave her be, whispering quickly that she was indeed up. She smiled at this, how Henry took her father's words to heart that he was the man of the house when their father wasn't there.

He was officially head off the house, simply because he was born a minute ahead and male. She should think about forming her own Foundation; the Big Sister Organization.

Xx~xx~xX

The shower had to be short, mostly because she had to make the twins breakfast and partly because she was anxious to see a certain vampire. She told herself it was partly, she told herself she wasn't so ashamed of how she had handled herself the previous afternoon when they had gone from discussing how they had skipped a whole series of formalities ranging from dates to dinner and she had gone and insinuated she had no qualms of ditching a few steps towards a Christian marriage in favor of touching him all over.

She was absurd, but it was a probable absurdity… she was smiling again, but who cared at this point in time? She loved their little sayings and quips, things that could only belong to her and Edward and no one else.

"Angela!" Henry shrieked from downstairs before falling through with a series of high pitched screams of her name that merged together into a three beat of 'AngelaAngelaAngela… AngelaAngelaAngela!'. She barely had time to wrap herself in her towel appropriately enough, but when was there ever an appropriateness in appearing in any situation wet and in a towel. She didn't know what she could expect, especially with Henry; he may be fighting with Tim for the remote, he may be terrified of a spider on a wall, the breeze might be blowing just wrong for him or a burglar…

A burglar… she half tripped and stumbled into the lounge, blanching and trembling slightly. The boys were on the couch, lazily huddled together in the middle with SpongeBob and Patrick moving across the television screen. Henry turned his head at her, and in a tone so parched and monotonous that it contradicted his previous energetic yells he said "There is knock on the door"

Of course, they weren't allowed to answer the door ever since the attempted 'robbery'. She wrapped her towel tighter and frowned at the back of Henry's head, if only he had been a little less his age about calling her she may have time to wrap herself in her beach towel.

She opened the door slowly, making sure to throw most of her body behind the door and only peer to the outside world with nothing but her wet hair to tell of her shower. Edward Cullen was standing on her porch, looking bizarrely normal in his thick cotton t-shirt and dark jeans and holding a cup of something steaming in his hand.

"You are on my porch?" she opened the door fully, forgetting her worry about showers and robbers, and irritating impatient little brothers in favor of staring in awe at his face and falling in love with him all over again.

"Morning to you too" Edward grinned and then handed her the coffee "You over slept and you are grouchy"

"I didn't over sleep" she frowned at the coffee and looked at him through narrowed eyes "I stayed up waiting for you and you never came. You _conveniently_ never came"

"There was nothing convenient about my not coming early, I really _couldn't._ It was a… boy's night out and… I needed it" he said seriously, and peered over her head "Aren't you going to invite me in?"  
>"No" she stated folding her arms over her chest and pursing her lips. He smiled at her and she groaned internally, it was irksome that Edward was a telepath-how could anyone concentrate entirely on keeping their thoughts their own when his face was a distraction from the very world.<p>

"I keep telling you I am no Stefan Salvatore" he sighed, taking a deliberate step forward and grinning at her " And you need to stop that nonsense of thinking you are some secondary character, whoever this Bonnie Bennett is… she is nothing at all, if she is not like you-the feature of all dreams and hopes"

He was in her house and she was staring, her mind blank.

"You should go get ready, their sports day starts at seven thirty" Edward murmured, the door frightening her when it shut slightly. He stared into her eyes , then traced her face before glancing quickly down to her still wet and towel-covered form. "Should I make breakfast?"  
>"You don't eat" she stated and he smiled.<p>

"And you decided that meant I couldn't cook?" he asked "If its okay with you… for me to be alone with them, I could cook and…"  
>"Oh, shut up with that 'I am dangerous' nonsense!" she sighed, walking past the lounge and winking at her brother's gaping eyes on Edward "Lucky day boys, you can order in… I got you a private chef"<p>

"Pancakes!" the twins squealed in unison, leaning on the backrest of the couch "With whipped cream and strawberries!"

"Oh, that's simple" Edward smiled, waiting for Angela to tell him how they never had such a decadent breakfast. She didn't… she was throwing him to the wolves. The two little wolves who thought they were big men.

"Who are you?" Henry demanded, walking around the couch with his arms folded. Timmy followed him, walking in exactly the same militant manner and stopping with his arms folded over his chest, cocking his head up, he imitated his brother "Yeah, who are you?"

"Edward" Edward said, slightly terrified of the two miniature humans. "Edward Cullen"

"Henry Weber, pleased to meet you" Henry stuck his hand out violently and Edward looked at it bemused "You are meant to shake it"

"Yeah! Shake it!" Timmy cheered.

"Pleased to meet you" Edward chuckled carefully holding the impossibly small hand in a shell grip and shaking it once.

"You're cold" Henry announced.

"Yeah, you are cold!" Timmy agreed and with one last look at Edward, deciding that he would leave all interrogations to his more than capable more vocal twin, he turned around and jumped back onto the couch.

"Are you coming with us to sports day?" Henry asked following Edward into the kitchen.

"I am actually taking you" Edward said "And I understand your father will pick you up after? So Angela and I will go to school…"

"Are you Angela's…" Henry thought for a minute, deciding that the notion of his sister having a boyfriend was as absurd as Edward Cullen not having a secret identity. Edward frowned slightly at the little boy's thoughts, not accustomed to bothering himself with listening to the clear and colorful thoughts of young humans.

"Yes, I am her boyfriend" Edward said although Henry had decided he wasn't. Edward knew were everything was, simply touching a cupboard and being alerted by Henry's mind where what was. The batter was mixed, the pancakes in the pan, cream whipped and strawberries cut.

"Are you Clark Kent?" Henry asked and Edward laughed.

"No, just regular Edward Cullen"

"Oh, that sucks" Henry sighed "I would have liked you better if you were Clark Kent. Angela likes Clark Kent… I think because he wears glasses too"

"And his pecks!" Timmy yelled.

Xx~xx~xX

"So you can't fly?" Henry double checked, hogging the back seat and peering from between Edward's driver's seat and what Angela now associated as her 'kidnap seat'. She had failed to bully Edward into at least driving her car, since Henry and Tim immediately fell in love with him further when they saw the Volvo and all its showy glory.

"Nope" Edward chuckled. "What is with the fascination with Superman?"

"It's their new thing" Angela sighed "Any guy who… err… looks a certain way, just has to be Clark Kent"

"Nothing to do with is pecks?" Edward asked innocently and Angela ignored him, opting to busy herself with her phone. She saw the envelope on the screen and Isabella's name beneath it. "Why wait later?" Edward asked.

"Can you not do that?" Angela sighed, looking at Edward from the corner of her eye.

"I just don't see why you are dreading it, just read the message?" Edward insisted "It's not like Isabella is a scary witch"

"No, it isn't…" Angela said "I quite like her… but her chosen friends are most certainly in a cult or something"

"We are here!" Henry leaned forward, eyes wide and excited. "Edward… you are going to see how fast I am!"

"I am faster" Tim deadpanned.

"Well, it's almost like I am fast" Henry frowned "I just happen to watch myself come first before I come second"

Xx~xx~xX

"She wants to meet at her house for a weekend at the beach" Angela sighed "She says you and your siblings are invited. I think Lauren is behind this whole thing"

"Hmm" Edward murmured, making sure to watch the boys as the sprinted across the little field, Henry of course, would never come first if he was insistent on making sure people were watching him… slowing down and turning his head before grinning when he met Edward's gaze. "Well, they predicted it… Timmy first and Henry second"

"Go Henry!" Angela momentarily forgot her high school nonsense and startled someone's frazzled mother and lurched forward, waving her hands in the air at Henry-who did, indeed, slow and manage a quick wave back at his sister before stopping at the finish line… second.

"I would tell you not to go" Edward said "In fact, I am sure I could _convince_ you not to go… but, I would like you to decide"

"She isn't so bad…"

"She is" Edward said softly "She smells like hell. The fact that you are pleading her case means you have made up your mind"

"There will be guys there too" Angela said "And if Emmett…"  
>"Angela, Emmett in any setting with children involved…"<p>

"Could you not refer to me as a child?" Angela said through gritted teeth.

"I was referring to them?"Edward looked at her bemused.

"I am 'them'" Angela said stonily, frowning.

"So, you are always going to let them have their way with you?" Edward asked "You know this is some childish ploy…"

"There you go again" Angela murmured, tilting her head and letting her tone air the statement out derisively.

"It wasn't a reference to anyone being any which way" Edward sighed wearily, wondering how even with telepathy, he was failing to handle the situation… and hating Lauren so suddenly.

"You don't have to come" Angela said.

"I was never coming" Edward murmured, an irrational anger piqued inside him that matched Angela's. It was a relief to know it didn't change her feelings towards him… it only highlighted everything in red. He silently resolved to let her have her weekend with Isabella, she was human and he was supposed to allow her that-if she needed to keep stumbling into Lauren's web… then, she could be allowed to do it when he wasn't in visual range (he knew he was incapable of not interfering if such a disrespect that he was suspecting, was conducted in front of him).

This would be his opportunity, and green ticket against his obsessed emotions for Angela-to go visit Tanya while Angela finally resolved her uneasiness with Isabella and her dastardly minions with regards to him and Angela.

"What beach was it?" Edward asked after a second, amused by Angela's silent sulking.

"First Beach" she snapped "What, are you going to go do a rain dance there… make sure I don't go?"

"I hear they conduct their own rain dances there" Edward ominously. "And besides, this is Forks… people do 'sun dances'"

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**Thank you all for the amazing reviews and the love you have for this fic! A prompt for a little introduction of Edward into Angela's family… I hope you weren't confused by the switch from Edward to no point of view… I sort of threw it into the air, to what Edward would have heard from Angela's father's mind in the morning…**

**I am not sure if this is going to be entirely a romance-I like adventure too much.**

**Drop your thoughts, love and dislikes!**

**TJ**


	24. Teen Scene

**TEEN SCENE**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

She wasn't sure whether she was angry, upset or enraged…

But she was sure, as she rustled through her wardrobe for something to wear at he beach, deciding that she would indeed brave the chill and go in the water-just to enjoy her day out with Isabella in face of Edward and his _unreasonable _self-Angela Weber was certain, she was already missing her strange boyfriend.

Boyfriend…

She paused her abusing of her once tidy shelves, clutching something black and slightly rubbery and stared dazed at the back wall of her wardrobe. Boyfriend… this was her first boyfriend… and by heavens, what a selection she had made! Had she made the selection, no she hadn't… neither of them had, in fact. It was almost, as though fate itself had selected them from that moment she had seen him staring wistfully out the window and out in to the raining world in some irrelevant classroom.

She hadn't fallen in love with him back then, no-she wasn't a creature of 'love at first sight', she knew this about herself. What she had done was stronger, because sometimes love is the ficklest emotion-so easily changeable and lured away from its original destination. She had connected with him, felt him-his pain and loneliness, and it had seared through her body and stabbed at her heart and she had known that she had to try and smudge his frowning eyebrows into relaxing. To poke him and prod him into smiling…

"Stupid Vampire" she sighed, the words sounding to her as 'Lovely Edward' either way. She had found her water proof wear, she had her towel and all the little extra's that would ensure the beach adventure wouldn't be an uncomfortable one.

"Where are you going, Ella?" Timmy asked, leaning on her doorframe, grubby jam stained hands sliding over the white paint and leaving a purple-red trail in their wake. "Is Edward coming to get you…?"

"No, err…no" Angela smiled "I am going with a friend of mine, Isabella?"

"I hate being babysat" Henry emerged beside his twin, mouth sporting a jam beard.

"You aren't being babysat, you are staying home with Dad?" Angela laughed. "I'll take you for a treat tomorrow, how about that? A movie?"

"Is Edward going to take us?" they asked together and Angela's heart swelled and glowed-was it a reflection of something in particular, that her impressionable little brothers had taken to a vampire so readily, treating him as the older brother they craved…

All she knew, was it filled her with a prickling joy and slight jealousy-she wanted to be their only hero, as childish as it was.

"I'll see if he wants to come along" Angela said, the thought she had been avoiding on what Edward would be up to this weekend emerging. She thought it illogical that he would spend the majority of his time in woods scouting 'prey'. But what did a century old man with a finicky mind spend his time doing…

Composing music. Scrawling away in journals. Avoiding sunlight…

He would have much more fun, Angela mused, if he was indeed Stefan Salvatore in Mystic Falls with other supernatural beings to play with.

Xx~xx~xX

"I hope you don't mind" Isabella said, pointing back at her truck "You may have to squash between Jacob and I… he insisted on coming along"

Xx~xx~xX

The beach was… cold. Angela clutched her bag tightly, watching fearfully as the rest of her classmates and the other new comers to their little social excursion began busying themselves with removing clothing and slipping into their costumes.

"Aren't you going to change?" Jacob asked her. He stood beside her, slightly taller than her and impossibly skinny, staring out to the sea dolefully. She smiled, wondering if she should warn him not to take any flirting from Isabella to heart and avoid the awkwardness that came when Isabella flirted with every _other _male.

She kept this to herself and sighed, patting her bag "I think I am going to sit this one out"

"Why?" Jacob asked her, never looking at her. Isabella giggled beside them, Mike had done something stupid for her amusement and as a result, Jacob's full lips pursed tighter into a rigid line.

"Well, erm… its cold" Angela said lamely, peering from behind Jacob and meeting Lauren's amused gaze. Jessica and Lauren sat together, leaning by Tyler's car and evidently working up a gossip storm about her. "And I don't feel like drowning today" Angela said absently.

"I shouldn't have come!" Jacob sighed. "But she asked me… _she asked me_!" he stressed, finally looking at Angela and disarming her with his genuinely confused eyes "None of my friends are here, this crowd is much older…!"

"Yeah, this crowd sucks" Angela breathed, looking back at Lauren and Jessica, angry with Edward for being absolutely right-she had walked right into a trap, and there they were conspiring and scheming to spring it on her on the most inconvenient moment. She had watched enough teen movies to know this much…

She was almost tempted to let Edward's short tempter have its way with the two girls. Vaguely tempted, barely tempted… who was she kidding, she couldn't even wish them harm when that was all they wanted to do to her.

"Hey, Angie…" Jacob said and Angela frowned at him.

"Just Angela" she said stiffly, her mood doused considerably by the cool weather, the never desisting moody clouds and the smoking sea.

"Err, Angela…" Jacob smiled at her awkwardly, pointing up along the beach in the distance. "I see some guys I know, they are much older than both of us… but I bet they would be a lot more fun than all this…giggling and hair whipping"

"Lead the way" Angela sighed, following Jacob's stumbling and skipping over the sand, each step chipping of a piece of rigid apprehension that had threatened to consume her when she had been near Lauren and Jessica.

Xx~xx~xX

The moment Angela saw the group of people that Jacob was certain where better than her self absorbed cruel bunch of peers from Forks High-she thought about running back to her scheming group and braving whatever humiliation they were going to throw her way over Edward Cullen.

Firstly, she was all too aware that she was the only non-Quileute being there; every being here had black as night hair and silken tanned gold skin. That realization had been quelled, so what if she was the only one who had dark brown hair and light pasty skin… but what had really made Angela want to high tail it back to her group of immature generic teens, was the wall of tension that her and Jacob had walked right into.

"Jacob, hi sweetie" a small pretty girl greeted them, more than half her face and head wrapped in bandages. Her single eye that was visible, swerved to Angela and soothed some of her fear with the kindness in it "Who's your friend?"

"Err, Angela" Jacob mumbled, eyes averted and his thoughts evidently in sync with Angela about returning to their miserable group. "Angela… that's err, Emily"

"HI" Angela squeaked, smiling with effort at Emily and trying to keep her eyes on the injured girl but they were determined to tick to the corners and peek at the two burly young men standing tensed by a seated Emily and her friend.

Behind them, in their bubble of ice silence, Angela heard Isabella calling Jacob and her, before a plea of laughter and giggles grew closer and closer. She was grateful, although she had wanted to run from the group, that they had followed. Their boisterousness would swallow the deadly rigidness the four Quileute's were brewing.

The two men sat down when the saw the stumbling kids approaching, the one man making sure to sit exclusively closer to Emily, while Emily's friend-who had her hair down and face set on being hidden, staring out to the sea-nudged herself further away, almost out of the weird circle.

"Oh, great… you found more people!" Jessica laughed, swinging her arm around a startled Jacob. "I knew Isabella bringing you kid, would make sense somewhere!"

"Right" Jacob was unimpressed, swinging Jessica's arm violently off of him and trudging through the sand to crash land beside Emily's mystery friend, folding his legs with too much exaggeration and staring out to sea before looking at Angela and saying "The view is better from here, Angela?"

"Ooooh!" Lauren heckled, swerving into Angela's personal space and leaving a blooming smell of _alcohol _when she stumbled backwards "Already cheating on Edward, are we? Wow, Angela… you've really stepped out of your horn rimmed shell!"

"Lauren… you aren't yourself" Angela mumbled, quickly skipping to sit beside Jacob and folding her arms over her legs self consciously.

"You alright, Leah?" Jacob asked the mystery girl and Angela started. Leah Clearwater, their teacher, sat quietly and miserably on the beach with red eyes.

"What, little old me…?" Leah's voice was filled with gravel, she turned around and looked at Jacob and by default met Angela's eyes instead. "Hmm, glad to see you out and about Angela… run out of those little 'gifts' I gave you?"

"Err…erm…no" Angela coughed, remembering the colorful condoms that Edward told her, Emmett found very amusing and had placed in a lovely Egyptian vase of Fertility in his room.

"Ahh, I see your crush is here?" Leah asked Jacob, nudging him. Angela was unsure, but Jacob seemed to blush-looking back at the rowdy group that was somehow mingling perfectly well with the intimidating Quileute's-who seemed to have doubled in numbers too.

The sun was drifting down, behind them laughter and noise bloomed as a bonfire was set up.

"So err, how do you know… Ms Clearwater?" Angela asked Jacob timidly.

"Ha!" Jacob scoffed. "She isn't 'Ms Clearwater' when she crosses back onto the Reservation!"

"When Jacob's mother died, our families sort of merged" Leah overrode Jacob's joy and juvenile glee at 'Ms Clearwater'. "He is like my little brother… I taught him to write his name, I babysat him… still do sometimes…"

"Whatever!" Jacob snorted "I see you are handling your crush and Emily pretty well?"

"Huh?" Angela looked at Leah, the shadows of the dying day erupting over Leah's face so Leah's grimace of pain was badly hidden and contrasted hard.

"Nothing ever happened between Sam and I" Leah said softly "Emily was apologizing, trying to get me to understand some sort of 'love at first sight' bullshit… and all I could think about was how lonely I had been since her and I fought. And how pathetic I was to cry over a guy who hadn't ever looked at me twice…"

"Too true!" Jacob cheered, glancing back at the slowly building fire, at Isabella. "No crying over… people who don't notice you"

"I still hate his guts!" Leah spat, with that same anger Angela had seen in class once.

"How did you come to work at Forks High?" Angela asked, deciding that all the talk of heartbreak was leaving her feeling weird, with how filled with love and joy she was of current.

"She wanted to rebel against her mother" Jacob answered instead, grinning widely-seemingly forgetting he had been determined to be miserable and sulky for an oblivious Isabella.

"My mother is a… true traditional Quileute woman" Leah sighed "Actually, my father too. I wanted to have a section of my life outside of legends and mystics"

"Legends?" Angela asked.

"Not important" Leah breathed "I don't really believe them… naturally. But they are amazing, beautiful tales of maidens and monsters… great stuff, if you want inspiration for your art piece"

"I never did thank you for moving the hand in date!" Angela laughed.

"Yeah…" Leah smiled coyly "I was going through… a few… issues then"

"Leah's issues, have issues" Jacob said ominously and Leah reached behind his head and smacked his head forward.

"Angela!" Jessica called and Angela timidly looked back, realizing it was dark on the beach, the bonfire burning beautifully in the centre of young jovial people. Jessica stood at the other side of the flames, flanked by Isabella and Lauren-all of whom met her eyes from across the space, from behind two random people. "Where is Edward?!"

Angela ignored her, looking back out to the dark sea.

"Whose Edward?" Jacob asked.

"A boy…" Leah said "Who likes to ignore lessons in favor of staring at Angela's hand. That boy is up to no good, Angela"

"You don't know that!" Angela snapped, surprising herself with the anger coursing in her.

"You should have brought Edward!" Lauren called. "I need some make up tips! I was wondering if I could ask him…?"

"Is he your boyfriend?" Angela heard Jacob ask, but her ears were ringing, her hands shaking as they tried to hold her knees together.

"We all know what Cullen wants from her!" Mike Newton joined in "And she knows it too… but any chance to finally be popular, eh Angela?"

"Cullen?" a deep voice rumbled violently over the snickers and jeers of Mike Newtown and his posse, and there was instant silence suddenly-the soft sound of someone's car stereo breathing music into the night. "There is a Cullen here?"

"He didn't come" Isabella answered, Angela refused to look behind at them, tears pushing and shoving in her eyes to be spilt-Jacob's warm hand lay over her shaking one.

"You invited… him?" the voice asked rudely, and from beside her Angela realized Jacob was attempting to comfort both her and Leah-neither of them were weak enough to cry, but she knew they were both on the verge of it. That voice, had to belong to Sam…

"She did" Isabella whispered. "Angela"

"No, you asked me to ask him!" Angela rose from the ground, flinging Jacob's hand off of her and skipping over a log, startling its silent occupants and stepping close to the fire, glaring at Isabella from the other side "It was you, Bella, who wanted all the Cullen's here… who asked me to invite them for you?"

"Did I?" Isabella asked "I have no recollection of that"

"I thought you said Angela begged you to come?" Jacob asked Isabella, walking over to Angela's side.

"She told me you begged her to come too, Jacob" Angela murmured to Jacob.

"The Cullen's don't come on our lands… these lands are not for _evil_" the man-the _hulking_ Sam, standing by a nervous Emily growled.

"Argh!" Angela growled, a tear falling but she had moved away from the bonfire blindly, her glasses somehow lost-she had been playing with them in her hand while talking to Leah and Jacob, she realized-and the darkness merging everything together. She had no idea which direction she was heading, she knew right in that minute that she was definitely not being taken home by Isabella…

She was violently angry, so overwhelmed that the tears streaming down her cheeks now were hot and not the cold that would convey sadness-this was rage. Behind her, Jacob was calling her back, telling her to just 'ignore them'. Jacob didn't understand, he didn't know what it was like to feel for a being so intensely that sometimes the word love wasn't enough a description…

Jacob didn't know why the way Sam had said 'evil', would cut Angela up so thoroughly that all she wanted to do was dance across the reservation with all manner of vampires just to spite the idiot over muscled man….

"Angela, don't be an idiot!" Leah hissed, the first to reach her while Jacob caught up-huffing and gasping for breath. "What are you going to do? Walk back home?"

"Yes!" Angela hissed "That man… that Sam…"

"Sam's an idiot" Leah sighed, forcing a smile on her face and gripping Angela, stopping her from her determined charging through the sand to nowhere. "I have always known it…"

"But you don't like Edward either!" Angela cried.

"Not because I believe that there are witches and wizards and if I tap my shoes just right, a Rolls Royce will fall on my head!" Leah laughed "I just think Edward is a pretentious prick that's trying to score himself a virgin"

"Whose the virgin?" Jacob asked.

"Angela, you nimrod" Leah rolled her eyes.

"You don't know that!" Angela snapped, in equal energy and a feverish illogical anger "I could be a right slut…!"

"See, I don't hate Edward nor do I want to burn him in that bonfire…" Leah cocked her head behind them, at the party that hadn't missed a beat since disrupting Leah and Angela's flimsy peace. "I just want to castrate him, that's all…"

"She looks… relieved… by that" Jacob said, frowning at Angela's calming forward.

"She is" Leah sighed, wrapping a hot arm over Angela, looking back at the bonfire once "Let me take you guys home. Emily looks like… she has made her choice clear on where we stand"

"Bitches before bro's?" Jacob asked, trudging beside Angela and Leah.

"I don't appreciate you calling me a bitch, Black" Leah snapped "Come on, let's get our hysterical pale face back onto the dreaded other side of Forks…"

Xx~xx~xX

Was it worse than she thought it could have been?

The one thing Angela found herself angry at, was herself. Her forgiving, positive self. Maybe she should have just said no to Isabella… maybe she should have paid attention to her telepathic boyfriend when he said they were up to no good…

"The hell!" Leah breathed and Angela snapped out of her reverie, staring ahead of them, through the windscreen at a figure in the middle of the road. The brakes were slammed, Jacob starting to a wake behind them and yelling, the wet road working against the tires of Leah's car… and the figure remaining rooted to the middle of the road… the car wasn't about to stop, Leah cussing and hissing and fighting the steering wheel…

They were going to plough into the man… he wasn't moving, standing still as a statue in the drizzling rain, in nothing but a waistcoat and jeans, his eyes…

Red eyes stared at them hungrily, a cruel smile on his lips before he wagged a reproaching index finger at them

"NO!" Angela cried, but the car collided with the red eyed man on its side, flipping into the air-Jacob, Angela and Leah tumbling and being thrashed inside it as it flew off the road and into the night, hurtling into the thick peninsula and uprooting ancient trees before finally coming to a stop a few feet up in the air, cradled in the sturdy branches of a mammoth tree.

Xx~xx~xX

**AUTHOURS NOTE:**

**Mind the cliffhanger****, it will be concluded in the next chapter. I decided to skip the whole 'Legends of the Quileute' thing, because a) Angela already knows what Edward is b) It is waaaay over used as a plot point. So it is mentioned in a light sort of way, since Leah doesn't really care for it past her artists soul.**

**No fear, Edward and Angela's romance will be felt amidst a lot of bickering between the two. I don't really do spoilers well, as I tend to change my mind or the story takes on its own turn… but, there **_**may **_**be a death, there **_**may **_**be a vampire turning…. And rating will change to M, maybe later on since I wont be sequelling this and just keeping it in the one story 'AS I AM'.**

**Next time, will be Edward crashing his sisters sleep over with their cousins in Alaska-hopefully, that wont change either…**

**Xx**

**TJ**

**Oh, do review before you jump into bed?**


	25. Crash Course in Bonding

**CRASH COURSE IN BONDING**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

"When in Rome, Edward..." Irina insisted, trying to touch my head. I angled it away and glared at her, the effect of my strict gaze only managing to bring out a pout on her face.

"I wanted to speak to Tanya, trust me... I have no interest in...this" I sighed, waving at the many little cosmetics that they didn't need, that were strewn on the floor of Irina's bedroom-that had no bed, but a series of lush ancient furniture and silks that reflected her time, and the era she enjoyed the most.

"In fact..." I sighed, rising up and chucking an over decorated cushion to the side with too much force, so it went crashing into a corner, smashing a vase into pieces. I ignored this and was grateful that Irina paid no attention to my desecration of her personal ostentatious space "I think I will go and speak with... Eleazar... you women are trying my patience"  
>"He isn't here" she said I froze when her thoughts showed this to be the truth "...neither is Carmen"<p>

"Why do you insist on treating us like we have leprosy" Alice whined.

"We only have breast, Edward" Irina laughed.

"Angela has them too" Alice added quickly before I could stop them "If she would let me dress her, you would know this too"  
>"Who is Angela!" Irina giggled, pressing my shoulders down hard so I was forced to sit back down on the rug. "Edward met a girl..."<p>

"A human girl" Rosalie said sadly, as though Angela was missing a limb or half-witted.

"Oh, that is just like you Edward" Irina tutted

"Why does everyone think that!" I snapped "My falling in love with a human girl is nothing would ever have been predicted!"

"So what was it that you wanted to discuss with Tanya?" Irina ignored me "Last time I checked, you, two were incapable of holding a conversation without you being scared off..."  
>"By Tanya's boobies" Rosalie droned, flipping through her magazine and searching for a hairstyle she would spend the night trying to keep from growing out. "If only they were not so perfect... if only they were not so visible... if only Tanya looked like a twelve year old boy"<br>"So I am to believe that your opposition to the full acceptance Angela is due to your loyalty to Tanya?" I asked Rosalie and she glared at me from the top rim of her magazine, warning me not to 'go there' with her but we were far from home, far from any of my personal possessions for her to destroy... "Or do you hate being irrelevant"  
>The magazine flew across the space and whacked me harmlessly square in the face. I smiled, impressed that her anger had turned the launch of the magazine into an abrupt instinct rather than anything preconceived.<p>

"Boy...!" Rosalie hissed "Do not test me!"  
>"Oh, come now Rose..." Alice sighed, rolling over and smiling at Rosalie "You technically started him..."<br>"And I will end him too!" Rosalie rose from her seat, trembling lightly with anger.

"A woman's pride..." I sighed, listening to Tanya's excitement as she smelt my scent in the lounge, she would be entering Irina's room in seconds "Such a fragile thing"  
>"Who is fragile?" Tanya asked, her eyes sparkling as she saw me being harassed by Irina with a brush and comb "Edward... oh, we have always known our little fleur was a fragile one"<p>

"Rosalie's pride" Alice sighed bored "Once again, we are about to witness the battle of the two most conceited beings in any Millennia"  
>"More conceited that Caius?" Irina scoffed "Even Aro has enough sense to know when something is a lot prettier than he is..."<br>"Only because Aro thinks he is God and anything prettier than him, is only that magnificent because it is meant to be possessed by him... and that is what makes Aro the most vain vampire of all time" I sighed. "He thinks anything magnificent is bought about for his sole enjoyment"

"And you, Edward... my little _tease_!" Tanya drawled, taking the brush away from Irina and locking me in place, her slender arms winding around my front and locking. "Have you come back to me with a little more conviction...?" she whispered by my ear and I failed to hide my displeasure on my face.

"He looks like he wants to hurl" Rosalie never learnt that I would never take her teasing lying down, and she was back on track after the magazine incident seconds ago "It's fitting that our little Fleur would want to venture outside of his species..."  
>"Pretty virgin Fleur falling in love with a mango tree" Irina tutted "what will your babies look like"<br>"oh do shut up!" Alice sighed "Angela is lovely! Except her fashion sense... heavens, does she dress in the dark or without her glasses Edward...?"  
>"How would I know?!" I snapped, although I indeed knew that she didn't get dressed with her glasses on (that would be uncomfortable, regardless) and that Angela's fashion sense began and ended with comfort and not vanity. A little warmth spread through me at that notion, that she was oblivious to any of her many features that should by all accounts; render her immobile in front of a mirror or any reflective surface.<p>

"So her name is Angela?" Tanya asked "I think I am a little jealous"  
>"You have nothing to be jealous about... you were never a consideration for me!" I growled<p>

"Oh, my... have we found the first vampire to have a memory deficiency?!" Rosalie laughed "Or was what you told me Tanya, a figment of your over sexed imagination?"  
>"You told Rosalie?" I hissed, flinging her hand off of me, the brush clattering on the little space were the tiling was exposed before bouncing on the rug and landing with precision in Alice's expecting hand.<p>

"Foreseeing one-telepathy zero" Alice murmured, brushing her hair immediately.

"I guess that means it really happened!" Irina laughed. "So what was it you wanted from Tanya?"  
>"Booty call?" Tanya asked.<p>

"I bet it is... there is only so much one can do with a human... shake her hand, kiss her fore head... hold her really carefully while time passes you by..." Rosalie droned. "But then again, he doesn't even _wank..._!"  
>"Oh, if I can have that one thing she can't have... I will be mildly satisfied" Tanya sighed "After all... you have no heart or soul to give her"<br>"You are being cruel, Tanya" I warned "It is... a colour best suited for other blondes"

"Can I help it" Tanya sighed "You treat me like I carry diseases one moment and the next you leave me feeling like a used condom..."

"Funny story about condoms..." Alice began and I yelled out for her to stop. "What...?" she asked innocently.

"I do not want to know about your sex life!" I hissed.

"Then maybe you should have stayed in Forks?" Alice said innocently.

"Why did you come...?" Rosalie sighed "Besides the fact that you too, contain a frozen uterus"  
>"I wanted to talk to Tanya" I said "In private..."<br>"There are no secrets between sisters" Irina mused.

"And he is more like a sister than anything" Rosalie snickered, enjoying my presence in her own way.

"Yes, Edward..." Tanya bought into Rosalie's game "You have four women here, at your beckoning to assist you with whatever hormonal problem you are experiencing as a result of your period synching up with Angela"  
>"You were saying, about condoms... Alice?" Irina asked, painting her nails a startling pink colour.<p>

"Oh, Jasper received these condoms at school and he actually wanted to use them!" Alice laughed shaking her head.

"You let him?" Rosalie asked "There are some things I just won't let Emmett do!"

"Well, that is understandable..." I laughed, pulled into their odd bonding session "I once saw Emmett poking his finger up his nose...trying to see if he could tickle his brain"

"Well, that is a little more considerable since he wasn't poking his finer up Rosalie's nose!" Alice laughed "I should have predicted that condom's would be eaten away by venom..."  
>"Argh..." I grimaced, squirming in my seat and contemplating running back to Forks and filling my mind with images of squirrels mating to get the image of Jasper's request from Alice out of my mind.<p>

"I managed to get it on..." Alice continued, Irina noticing my fidgeting and together with Tanya they forced me down-the only way I could truly leave was to fight them off, and I chided myself... I had already seen the worst unlike the others, so surely then I could brave this "But the spit in my mouth disintegrated the whole thing by the third suck..." she said in disbelief while I gagged, wondering beside myself why Jasper needed to know what oral sex felt like with a condom on.

"And before we could head into anything else, the next thing I knew... bits of condom were going down my throat and Jasper was sporting a pink fishnet rubber!" Alice finished and Irina's room erupted in giggles while I felt like I was the one who had swallowed bits of condom.

"Edward, what did you do with your thousand condoms?" Rosalie asked innocently.

"Edward has a thousand condoms?" Tanya asked "Only?"

"Only?" I guffawed "One is too many...!"  
>"He is right; there isn't much he can do with any..." Alice sighed sadly, on behalf of me. "They are currently in an Egyptian vase of fertility, waiting for the turn in the millennia when they become rare artefacts"<p>

"Imagine the confusion some poor bumbling Indiana Jones is going to go through!" Irina giggled.

"Trying to make sense on why Egyptians would store anti-baby devices in a vase that promotes fertility!" Tanya clapped her hands "Bravo, Edward!"

"It's like parking a Porsche next to a horse carriage in an Amish town!" Alice laughed and I failed to not join her, relaxed enough to allow Tanya her brushing of my hair. "Imagine... the absurdity of it all!"

And with that one word, my empty chest filled with sorrow, as I missed Angela terribly.

"Why the long face?" Rosalie asked, genuinely concerned.

"Nothing" I said quickly, grabbing the scissors from Tanya's dazed hand.

"Oh, just a trim Edward!" she cried

"I am not sitting here with you cutting my hair until it grows an inch!" I snapped.

"Oh, come on..." Alice teased "I am getting my hair lengthened by Rosalie... its fun!"

"There is nothing fun about it"

"Angela will love how you look when your hair is longer" Alice insisted, lying... that wasn't in any future but her own personal opinion on the matter after seeing the relic picture of me with longer hair. "Tanya only wants to cut from the top"  
>"It's already too long there" I sighed "And I have no hope of it ever being shorter..."<br>"We could burn it" Rosalie smiled sweetly "Burning is a sure way to stunt hair growth for a _week_"

"The things you women go through for beauty, when you are vampires... is puzzling" I sighed "Fine, you can cut it Tanya"

"So what was it you wanted from me... that you need to discuss in private... that is not an arrangement for sex on behalf of your little morsel love?" Tanya murmured, snipping away at the same spot continuously.

"Rosalie promises to behave" Alice said "Right, Rosalie?"  
>"Fine" Rosalie conceded "Angela is not as bad a human as that bumbling giggling fool of a girl..."<p>

"Isabella?" Alice asked and Rosalie nodded "Hmm, agreed. So, Edward...?"

I had never really been bashful... not in a while, and not to anyone who wasn't Angela. They were staring at my face, and the added telepathy was a curse as my uneasiness rebounded in their minds and hit me a second time.

"Ah, he is shy!" Irina giggled "Is it about Angela? It is, isn't it...?"  
>"It's about sex" Rosalie guessed "And I bet you have already asked my husband... and Jasper..."<br>"Who wants advice from a man who sticks his finger up his nose to tickle his brain" Alice sighed.

"Who wants advice from a husband who makes his wife chew condoms?" Rosalie countered.

"Touché sister" Alice smiled. "And I suppose Carlisle is the first man to have sex repeatedly and still come out a virgin at the end?"

"What would you even call a porno made by Esme and Carlisle...!?" Rosalie laughed "It wouldn't be hard porn..."  
>"Certainly not soft porn!" Alice sniggered.<p>

"Liquid porn for the Christian masses?" Irina offered and they burst out laughing. "Sorry, Edward... you were saying... you can't get it up?"  
>"Can't ever hope of getting it down is more like it!" Tanya giggled before apologising when I looked up at her in warning. She waved the scissors in my face, before continuing her monotonous hair cutting.<p>

"If you are going to tease me..." I began.

"Edward, what was it you wanted to ask!?" Alice cut me impatiently.

"I wanted to know... how it is you are physical with human males" I sighed, closing my eyes and listening to their still unserious thoughts, trickling with little jeers and heckling at my confession.

"It helps when the lie still" Irina said seriously.

"And there is a lot of slow movement..." Tanya sighed, her fingers digging into my scalp before they scooped up the hair that had already returned to its previous length. "A lot... of torturously slow... movement and concentration"

"It can be done, Edward" Irina said helpfully "But you need to not be bursting with desires... well fed and... have been working up to it for a few years"  
>"Working up to it for a few..." I said absently "I just fell in love... I haven't been thinking about that with a human before...!"<p>

"Well, then start thinking about it now" Irina smiled. "Imagine what she would like..."

"Oh" Alice breathed, her eyes glassing over and thoughts inching away from reality. Rosalie paused her repeated snipping of Alice's hair and looked at me, waiting for the moment I dictated the contents of Alice's mind.

I saw through her mind, as Angela skipped through various planes of the future, somehow getting lost in smokiness before re-emerging with bag held stiffly by her arm at the beach and then lost again before the contents of her beach day were lost and she was...

In James cold arms, at the north cliff that hugged the ocean being shaken and harassed, James demanding her to tell him where I was and behind them... was one still body of a young boy. The image flipped, and suddenly there were two bodies on the tip of the cliff-the boy and... Angela.

"NO!" I cried, rising up and startling Tanya, giving Rosalie one pained look as Alice awoke from her tragic vision. I was out of the house immediately, already damning the effort Carlisle had put in upholding a treaty for wolf-men long gone in time...

I would scoop her from First Beach, I would take her in my arms and into safety... I was running against time, the sun was already dipping and my mind easily calculated that I would either make it in time to watch the light leave my beloved's eyes... or to hold her, finally, as her body became cold.

Behind me, Rosalie and Alice followed their cries of comfort to me lost to the wind.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Ngh..." Leah groaned, light popping in her mind and her arm throbbing. She blinked her eyes open and looked to her side, and sighed miserably when she saw an unconscious Angela slumped on the ceiling of the upturned car, a violent purple bruise on her forehead oozing out blood.

"Jake?" Leah whispered, trying to crane her head to the back of the car. Jacob made no sound. She twisted her arm from behind her and freed her seatbelt, and the moment she was free she slumped forward onto the car's ceiling... the car groaned, tilting a little. She peered out and made out thick bushy shadows. Trees, she realised. They were in a tree, she thought miserably.

"Angela?" Leah prodded Angela's arm and sighed with relief when the young girl groaned and tried to swat her hand away "Wake up Angela, we were in an accident and now we are in a..."

As Angela's eyes fluttered open, the car groaned, tilting further down into a nose dive and Leah's eyes widened... they were falling, they were going to crash to the ground. But they didn't, although the car continued to move in a deliberate manner, sliding and scraping over the bark of the tree and underneath it all... she thought she heard a man whistling casually.

"Angela!" Leah insisted and Alice was forced into lucidity. The car thumped suddenly, the right way up and Leah, Angela and Jacob crashed back into their seats awkwardly and painfully , bruises and broken parts sending Jacob into a howling state of conscious. "Jake!" Leah cried, scooting in her seat to get a look at the young boy. He was paling, his face twisted in pain and left hand clutching his side. The moon was out, and the blood on his forehead shone black.

"It's... cold" Angela's teeth chattered, her words slurred and eyes half closed but alert. Leah couldn't feel the cold, her pain consisted only of bruised and aches. She shrugged her jacket of and handed it to Angela before fitting herself through the space between the front seats to get to Jacob, feeling his legs carefully.

"His arm is broken" Leah said anxiously "Shit!"

"Let me help him with that..." a clear voice cut through the ivory darkness of the moonlit night. The door to Jacob's left squelched sickly before being pried from the car and flung into the dark forest. Leah stared at the place were her door was in horror and then gasped when a man crouched by the opening and peered inside, red eyes glowing like pools of metallic blood.

"Hey beautiful" James grinned "Fancy meeting you here?"

"Huh?" Angela craned her head back and cried out when she saw James.

"Ahhh, glad you remember me" James chuckled, reaching a pale hand into the car for Jacob. Leah shouted, scrambling to somehow hold on to Jacob but James half pulled her with the groaning crying Jacob before she lost the battle and slumped defeated in the back seat, watching as Jacob was carried effortlessly into the night, before James placed him down carelessly and leaned dubiously over him.

In seconds, Jacob began to cry out in true horror-fully lucid and fully in pain now.

"Stop!" Leah cried, clumsily crawling out of the car and falling onto the forest floor. She got up and stumbled toward James, her hands shocked momentarily into retreat when they met his frozen stinging skin but she persevered with each plea and cry Jacob gave for James to stop biting him... and launched herself at James, trying to pull him off, to pry him away... but he didn't even budge at the impact she hit him with, that only seemed to bruise her.

"Enough!" James said irritated, reaching behind and slapping her-Leah went flying into a tree, whacking against it sickly before slumping down at its base. He rose away from a twitching groaning Jacob and walked backed to the car casually, lazily. "Care to join us?" he asked Angela.

Her eyes were wide, locked to his red iridescent ones.

"What... do... you want?" she asked him shakily "Is it me? Do you want me? You can leave them... see... I'll come willingly..."

"Like you have a choice, love!" James laughed. "But as adorable as your conceit is you pathetic human... there is nothing special about you. However, there is something special about you... in relation with that yellow eyed _vampire_"

Angela's fear was momentarily doused with an illogical anger at James, an overpowering sense of grandiose took her over and she felt, in that moment, that she could harm James just to keep her vampire away from such vileness. She felt, she could _die..._ to keep Edward from James and his dreadful eyes.

"What, was he not your lover?" James asked conversationally but Angela remained silent, eyes wide with fear and anger, her soul filling with hate for this one being. Jacob was gasping for air, twitching in quick spasms and Leah hadn't moved from the base of the tree.

"Can't you talk now?!" James asked, frowning. He walked over to Jacob, picked him up by the leg and dragged him up so he was half dangling in the air while his one arm trailed the ground in a horrific slackness. Angela's heart clenched, James watched this. "Is he your friend?"

"Leave him, please!" Angela begged trying to pierce the night with her bad sight, trying to see if the slumping shadow that was Leah had moved at all. She made out Leah standing up and quickly looked back at James-she knew enough that he would be able to hear Leah move, but James made no move to suggest he was aware of this.

"Is he a friend of yours?" James asked softly, and suddenly Leah whacked the side of his head with a sturdy log. All her efforts did was splinter the log, send her stumbling away from James. "You know, you are beginning to irritate me..."

"Huh?" Leah breathed, exhausted by her effort. James tossed Jacob into the air, and he disappeared ahead into the darkness with a muffled thump that made both Leah and Angela cry out.

"Hmm" James reached Leah and held her still before squeezing her arms and causing her to howl into the night. He let her go, holding her easily up with one hand while his other hand went to her head and Angela immediately knew what was going to happen...

He was going to snap her neck.

"No, please... stop!" Angela pleaded rushing over to James. He knocked her back indifferently and she went through the air, her body aching horridly and knocking through small bushes and crashing hard into small trees before her torpedoing body came to an abrupt standstill in cold arms.

"Got you!" Rosalie Hale breathed, and as Angela stared at the indescribably beautiful pale face of the vampire, she heard the whizzing sound of the forest flying by them.

"No, Leah... Jacob!" Angela pleaded, trying to scuttle up and out of Rosalie's arms besides her howling pained body and Rosalie's immovable arms caging her.

"I got her..." Alice yelled from across them in the darkness, the world rushing away as the vampires rushed through the forest "The boy... there was blood! Edward is taking care of James... Emmett and Jasper should be there...!"

"What will happen to him..." Angela asked, her head throbbing and mind slurring into a hypnotic state, moving into unconsciousness "James..."  
>"He'll be a pile of harmless ashes by morning light" Rosalie whispered to her "Hush, you are in for a hell of a night with Carlisle"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

In Angela's dream, she was back by the little stream in the forest... beside her, Leah Clearwater stood beautiful and fierce, as she had been as she had tried to defend her little adoptive brother Jacob from James the Red Eyed vampire.

And at the other side, Rosalie and Alice stood beckoning them over, begging them to cross the stream and stay away from James. He was coming for them, they were crying... he was coming for with Jacob.

"With Jacob?" Angela asked, looking behind her. She saw them standing together, James sadistic grin in place and Jacob, bruised and battered with his dangling arm as she had seen him but sporting crimson eyes of hate. They stood by the edge of the forest, staring hungrily at her and Leah.

"Leah, we have to cross!" Angela begged, reaching for Leah's hand "We have to cross and get away from the monsters!"

"What are you talking, Angela?" Leah asked her "There are monsters on both sides of this stream, you and I... we are doomed..."

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**I am still certain that someone is going to die... but that may change, as things tend to as the story moves on its own. I am not sure if I will be writing this exclusively in either Edward's perspective or observing Angela especially with the inclusion of other strong characters as this is a story about Angela and Edward, but we will see... since their interactions with everyone else does affect them in some manner.**

**Thank you for the support, as always... you are legend!**

**Xx**

**TJ**


	26. Little Angels

**LITTLE ANGELS**

She could hear them talking, quick rapid whispers with regular intervals of either a weary sigh or a frustrated huff. At first she thought something must be terribly wrong, already thinking of her new friends-the young Jacob Black and the quirky Leah Clearwater-but then, as lucidity came over her mind, she gathered the general gist and the contents of the rapid dialogue.

It was between her father and... Doctor Cullen, of this she was sure and the issue that had both men sighing and huffing (rather gracefully in Doctor Cullen's case) was not that something terrible had the _audacity_ of occurring after the supernatural incident in the forest that had almost cost three lives (that Pastor Weber would know nothing of as present or forever more, this she was sure off) but the issue at hand was as simple as her father was insisting Carlisle Cullen was a saint while the vampire remained adamant that he was nothing, if not ordinary and the situation in itself was the miracle...

The argument ended, as Carlisle said softly "Pastor Weber... I think you and I both know who we should be thanking... the Almighty?"

"I hope to see you and your family in church, Doctor" she heard her father say and this gave her enough incentive to open her eyes. The light streamed through the world painfully in a hot white flash before the blurred smudges of her father and Doctor Cullen began to focus, and she made out her father in dark clothing and Carlisle's shining blonde hair. She looked to her right stiffly and she saw her two little brothers huddled under either arm of an _apparently_ sleeping Edward Cullen, Henry peering up at her while Timmy remained asleep and clutching onto Edward with such conviction that Angela thought for a moment, not even a vampire could escape his tight lock and determination to remain in a cuddle.

"Angela?" Henry whispered, leaning forward sleepily and moving Edward Cullen's arm easily from over him. Henry moved forward and smiled weakly, his wide eyes rimmed with red and expression unfamiliarly sombre for a child his age, a boy with his energy.

"Ngh?" she wanted to ask 'How did I get to Forks General?' but her mouth felt numb and her heart started stuttering with the simple notion of making a sentence. She was weak, impossibly weak...

Her eyes moved from her little brother's relieved face and up, to Edward's face. He was asleep, she thought, his eyes shut and mouth slightly open. She let her head fall back on the pillow, a smile on her lips... he wasn't asleep, of course she knew this-but what had caught her by surprise was how good an actor Edward was.

She fell asleep again, relieved-how could she have ever thought it could all have fallen into the flames if he was there? It had to be alright, all of it... she would wake up again, and Jacob Black would be safe, and Leah and her would have managed to cross the stream.

There were no monsters on the other side of the stream, only misunderstood Angels.

Xx~xx~xX

"Your father has gone to talk to... Jacob's father" Edward sat carefully by her side, on the bed-his dark eyes swimming with raw emotions that he was keeping at bay, hidden on his face and actions but threatening to burst out with each twitch she made. "They used to talk... when the man's wife died and his twin daughters..."

"Jacob has twin sisters?" Angela asked suddenly, something about this little fact seeming to be of vital importance to her and Jacob's budding acquaintance. It made her-as petty as it was-like him more.

"Yes, he does" Edward's expression was strange, a tinge of reproach at her continuous questions on Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater. They hadn't covered the core of the events yet, Angela's suspicions that Edward was on the verge of 'freaking out' kept her questions superfluous and airy, all siding to the safer subject of everyone's well being except James-the red eyed sadistic vampire.

Rosalie sat on the couch were Edward had been pretending to be asleep with the twins, with a brush in her hand and somehow she had managed to coax Henry into having his hair attended to. Angela smiled at this, it wasn't very hard to know how she had managed to get Henry to sit still for her-the little boy was staring at her face as though it were the most interesting thing, as though it were the most beautiful thing... and it was, Rosalie was breathtaking, even to a child.

"They are moving Jacob" Edward said, shaking his head with the same mysterious reproach "They don't trust... him being here. But that's okay, I saved him for _you_"  
>"You saved him because it is the right thing to do" Angela frowned at Edward, catching him with barely a second to spare in the midst of rolling his eyes.<p>

"I keep warning you, I keep telling you that I am no angel!" he whispered quickly to her, some of his control slipping "I would have whisked you off and left James to those two... if Rosalie had not convinced me that she could take you away safely! I would have let them be the distraction and their lives would be collateral for me to save you... I am selfish and I am not an angel!"

"Liar" Angela muttered, unsure of herself.

"Angela, what happened with James showed me that..."  
>"Blahblahblah" Angela sang closing her eyes and ignoring Edward's weary sigh. "A bunch of over worked bull, that's what's coming out of your mouth!"<br>"I like her!" Rosalie said.

"Told you that you would if you gave it a chance" Alice Cullen waltzed into the room and sat at the other side of Angela, casually tossing two chocolates to Rosalie who immediately unwrapped them and gave them to the twins-who were oblivious to the tensions in the room in their enjoyment of Rosalie's attentions.

"So what are you proposing?" Angela asked leaning up "We call it quits because I was attacked?"

Edward remained silent.

"You want to tell me what happened?" Angela asked "Let's start there"  
>"I should never have gone away" Edward said softly. "I should have insisted you remain away from that beach..."<br>"That's not telling me _anything_" Angela fell back on her large pillow, watching his hypnotic beauty with caution, willing herself to remain slightly upset by his increasing and already strenuous situation.  
>"It's telling you the root of the problem" he whispered.<p>

"The root of the problem is... there are criminals in the world, and by that fact alone, there will be _vampire_ criminals in the world" she said technically. "He was just like those robbers... and just like those robbers, I would extend what you extended to me... and ask that you not over think it?"  
>"Fine" Edward breathed "I went to Alaska... to cousins" he ignored her interest on the word 'cousin' and continued swiftly "Alice had the vision and I ran back, scouring the highway for you and Alice made a quick call to the house. Alice and Rose took you to safety while I handled James... but he had bitten Jacob Black and it had been a good fifteen minutes of the venom being in his blood stream... I was in a dilemma but with you safely away, I could risk James-so in a way, Rosalie saved the boy for if she had not taken you away, he would have a different sort of heart in him. I sucked the venom from the boy, trying to keep James away of course and Emmett and Jasper arrived and we... took care of things"<br>"Took care of things?" Angela said in a hollow tone, remembering something about _ash._

"James... is dead, truly dead" Edward said "And you are safe and the Quileute... well, we saved two of theirs so ...they owe us"  
>"They know?" Angela asked softly, piecing together all the little sayings she had heard in her interaction with Leah and Jacob at the beach. "They know..." she whispered to herself, remembering Sam. "But Leah... she didn't believe. Nor did Jacob..."<p>

All three vampires remained silent, the sound of Henry and Timmy having their private twin conversations filling the air momentarily.

"They wont tell!" Angela breathed anxiously, her hand shooting up and touching Edward's cold one. It was their first touch, never having had a moment alone and the suddenness of it and the desperation in it made both of them freeze momentarily, drowning in the others eyes and wondering on how such a love as the one they shared could be so restricted and fragile when it came to _touching_.

"Neither will we" Edward said cryptically after a loaded moment, squeezing Angela's hand in his cold one.

"I need to talk to Leah" Angela sighed, looking over to the twins.

"You can go" Edward said glancing at Rosalie and the boys, it was their turn to brush her long flowing blond fountain of hair "They are fine with... me" he seemed shy about this fact.

"Of course they are" Angela rolled her eyes and Alice laughed.

"Jazz and Emmett are always telling him he is as scary as a big yellow bird living on Sesame Street!"

Xx~xx~xX

"What do you mean he said you could go?" Angela asked, watching in disbelief as Leah Clearwater-who should be by all accounts be worse off than her-leaned forward effortlessly and stretched out a lightly bruised arm.

"I mean just that" Leah said groggily "I can go home just the same as you"  
>"But... I saw..."<p>

"Exactly" Leah looked at the door warily before whispering "We saw"

"Err... what did we see?" Angela asked.

"That guy... had red eyes" Leah said slowly "That guy, had pale skin. That guy, Angela... was a dead and breathing real live vampire and you and I saw. Jacob too"

"Oh" she stared at Leah's frown, something about it made her terrified of the weary young woman, something about it made Leah seem dangerous.

"He asked me not to say a word" Leah said "To the... rest of the world, because of course the Elders know what's up"  
>"He...?" Angela asked.<p>

"Edward" Leah said impatiently, frowning viciously at her again. "But you knew... didn't you?"

Angela remained silent, opting to look outside the window while Leah busied herself with her clothes.

"I won't tell... you can tell him that" Leah sighed "Not after what he did"

"What did he do?" Angela asked softly. "Save you...?"

"Save me... hell, he saved Jake..." Leah said, her anger merging with fear and sadness, a slight underlying awe mingling in there "He sucked the... poison out, and didn't... well, let Jake become a demon; Jake is going to be okay. Doctor Cullen promised he was fine. I have to go, kid... the tribe wants me on the Reservation quickly... my parents wouldn't come here for _shit_. Jacob practically has an army surrounding him there... this is crazy..."  
>"Right, crazy" Angela breathed "Will I see you at school?"<br>"I work there, don't I" Leah grinned shakily, a sense of grand casualness draped on her bruised but unharmed form "And I want that project in, you tell Edward that too. Vampire or not, I want to see art in my classroom...!"

Xx~xx~xX

"Oh, Angela... you should have told me you were dating Doctor Cullen's son...!" her father sighed, shaking his head. He watched her eat the horrid jelly quickly, slightly concerned by her haste but she didn't slow. She wanted to be done with the whole 'nutrition' thing, so she could officially leave the hospital without him worrying.

"A fine young man" her father mused, more to himself than to her "Thank God you called him..."  
>"I called him..." her spoon hovered in front of her mouth, jelly wobbling in it in confusion.<p>

"Yes, he was very distraught... called the police but they were busy dealing with the situation at First Beach..."  
>"Situation?" Angela dropped her spoon back into the bowl, pushing the food aside.<p>

"Rowdy kids drinking... I don't know the details" he sighed "What I know is this, he didn't wait on them... scouted the road and waited with you and Ms Clearwater and young Jacob..."

"Yes, that sounds... familiar" Angela breathed, her mouth dry... not because of the true contents of that story, but because this version was just as possible. Her and Leah had left a steadily out of control Bon Fire at First Beach with a sleepy young Jake, and lost control of the car on the wet road... tumbled into the forest and managed to crawl out... before Angela could call her dear boyfriend for help and pass out.

"Oh, he is truly heaven sent" her father's eyes were shining with moisture and she was looking away terrified. He had always been in touch with the raw side of his soul while she... she must have been solely her mothers daughter; and kept all tenderness and rawness exclusively to herself. "I don't know what I would have done... the boys would be so miserable... Angela, if you were to..."  
>"I didn't die, daddy!" she whispered, touching his hand and smiling feebly at him, willing him to return the smile "That's what matters?"<p>

"Oh, Jacob is pretty banged up" he finally sat down by her side, shaking his head sadly "And Billy Black...I never told you but since his twins left and his wife's death, we've been having occasional chat's..."  
>"...confession isn't chatting" Angela sighed and her father overrode her comment.<p>

"...he is in a hard place" he continued, shaking his head in disbelief "He doesn't know whether to be grateful for the Cullen's help with the accident or to side with his community over some dispute... strange story, I asked Charlie to explain it to me but he called it 'bull'"

"Hmm" Angela breathed, recalling Leah's own initial feelings when it came to Quileute 'bull' and how far they had come from that in a day. "I need to get changed, Dad"

"Oh, right... well, I do need to go and get the boy's from Edward and Rosalie. They've gotten quite attached to him and Rosalie..." his eyes lost focus and Angela cringed. Rosalie, from afar was extremely beautiful as it was... but in direct contact, it was an over load of the senses. "She _adores_ them..."  
>"Err, don't worry about it too" Angela smiled "I'll go get them since I wont be staying in, luckily..."<p>

"Luckily..." her father breathed and she cringed when she thought she saw him wipe his eyes, and the sound of a sniffle resounding through the hallway as he stepped outside.

Xx~xx~xX

She found them in the hospital waiting room. He had been watching her since before she had entered the room, she could tell-he stood facing away from Carlisle, his expression wrought in anxiety and what she was now growing accustomed to as his love for her rather than something so mind-boggling in its complexity that she would have shied away from gazing into it any other day. It felt like she was a rabbit, and he was car and she was staring into his headlights while he could never stand to see her on the dark road. While he was capable of running right over her...

"I went to see Leah" she said when he reached her, she watched as Carlisle glided away and got lost in a group of nurses "I think she says thank you... and she definitely won't tell"

They stood staring at each other for a moment, Angela occasionally looking away from the intensity of Edward's love and fear, terrified of what a telepath could possibly be thinking in that moment.

"I love you" he told her "I have no heart, but I love you... and I didn't know how such an emotion could exist in this form without a heart until last night. Angela, your heart beats for the both of us... and if it would fail a beat, if it would still and quieten, I would follow you from this earth. And if heaven would refuse me entry, I would wait at its gates for eternity"

"...I love you too" she rasped, peaking up at him. "When he told me that... what he wanted to do was hurt you, the anger I felt Edward... I thought I could hurt him with it. And however shy or timid I may be with every other being and however you may feel I bully you" she smiled a little "It is you who makes me brave. It is you who fills me with passion-not tales of how magnificent a woman my mother was, or how her blood runs in my veins... in loving you, I know bravery. Gosh, we sound so..."  
>"Corny?" Edward finished, smiling a little.<p>

"Yeah, you do... I prefer it to Edward's normal disposition of morose and bitc...err, whiny..." Rosalie sniggered fussing over Henry's curls continuously.

"You were lucky I was in your futuristic neighbourhood" Alice startled Angela's silent moment with Edward into diffusing, shocking Angela when she wound her around her "And now that we are all on the same page... and your father has terrified poor Carlisle with his insistence of church, and now my family finds themselves in a situation were we might have to _eat_ something..."

"Seriously, Edward" Rosalie sighed "You always find a way of torturing the rest of us"  
>"You are welcome to not be there" Edward grumbled.<p>

"And miss Timmy and Henry!" Rosalie cried "Never... never ever!" the twins squealed at Rosalie's theatrics.

"...you owe me" Alice whispered "I saved your life"  
>"Alice that's a tad bit dramatic" Edward murmured "Angela, you don't have to fall for her tactics... this is the one time I wish you would be passionate and bully <em>her..."<br>_"It can't be so bad" Angela smiled.

"A sleep over and a makeover" Alice chirped. "Yes, I see it... oh my, yes... beautiful"

"Liar" Edward muttered.

"Okay, fine..." Alice grinned sheepishly "I don't see it _yet..._"

"A sleep over?" Angela repeated in confusion. "Can't be that bad..."

"Yes!" Alice grinned "I see it _now..._"

Xx~xx~xX


	27. Fifty Shades of Gold

**FIFTY SHADES OF GOLD**

**X**

**Xx~xx~xX**

In any occurrence, in any state of mind and body-a sense of immense bliss is situated between the ashes of a past war and the scorching heat of an imminent conflict. And it was just that, wasn't it... right between James ashes blown away in the forest, and there they were in their love and glory... with the heat emanating from the little Indian reservation and sweltering their euphoria, sweating it and wearying it down.

Between kissing and touching, loving and trusting, bickering and laughing...

Angela Weber had not forgotten her day at La Push beach, and the two individuals she had met for that all too short a time... but time was subjective wasn't it? An hour or days could be felt differently in one occurrence due to its surrounding environment. Leah had promised her with a look in her eyes that she and Angela would be okay, that nothing would change save for the secret they now shared on behalf of the Cullen's and their budding friendship.

But it had been several days, and although she had been home resting after her 'car crash', she had thought she would have heard from Leah...

And on the weeks beginning, she would be at school again.

Back to the human's and their cruel ways.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**EDWARD CULLEN**

**X**

**x**

"It bother's me that you find human's more dangerous than vampires" I sighed, tucking my hands behind my head and staring at her ceiling, her little light cover twirling gently as the breeze danced in her room through the window.

"Humans are petty for no purpose, whereas vampires... well, they have a purpose... however _morbid_ it is" she grumbled, flexing her fingers and sulking over having to wear an arm wrap. She had only been momentarily satisfied with evading a cast, but any form of sickness or injury was not met well with Angela. She was used to doing the taking care off, used to placing the bandages...

"I could take you away" I told her, smiling "I know so many secluded places, so many hidden nooks in the world were the very eyes of God couldn't hope of spotting us out"

"You are right, I have to face them head on!" she breathed rising from her desk and facing me, light flashing in her eyes "I won't be the weak one here! I survived a freaking vampire...!"

"That wasn't what I meant, Angela..."  
>"I am not going to run from Lauren... and that <em>sneaky<em> Isabella!"

"What are you going to do, then?" I laughed, pulling her small hand and tugging her to me. She obliged me obliviously, lost in her anger at Isabella and Lauren... somehow, Jessica was forgiven in all of this. Jessica, apparently, could not be faulted for being 'Jessica'. No more than you could fault the devil for telling a lie... it was in their nature.

Her free hand went into my hair absently and she said, sulkily again "I am going to... ignore them. Yes, that's what I'll do"  
>"Sounds terrifying" I murmured, smelling her wrist and my throat roaring applause for her decadent scent "I would <em>hate<em> to be them, oh the cruelty of you Angela... to deny them your attentions!"  
>"Are you mocking me?" she asked, fisting my head hard, trying to pull as hard as she could and only coming up to a lulling caress, a soft kneading. She meant to push my head back, I allowed her the motion, smiling at her when I cocked my head up at her.<p>

"Now, from my position with regards to you, sweet Angela..." I smiled "Being ignored by you would be extremely agonizing to me, a true medieval torture method"  
>"Please, I know exactly what methods I have to torture you... as baffling as they are" she kissed my forehead and nudged her own forehead against mine "You have to be the only teenage boy who wont go lower than the neck..."<br>"You have to be the only devout Christian who wants to role-play Fifty Shades of Grey"  
>"I thought we agreed to stay out of my mind?" she raised an eyebrow, hating that I knew she had read some of that novel.<p>

"I was trying... believe me..." I chuckled, controlling my nerves with regards to her unabashed glare at me over the subject "You think I wanted to watch you standing there in choir singing about the greatness of God while imagining me and you in such vigorous acrobatics? I am only glad Jasper wasn't around for it..."

"A three some with Jasper?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Good God no!" I gasped and she laughed. "I meant his gift... heavens, I didn't need that... thought and visual insinuation... you have upset my breakfast, Angela. Are you happy now?"

"You don't eat breakfast"  
>"There is an orphan Bambi who begs to differ"<br>"You left Bambi orphaned?" her eyes widened.

"It was entirely accidental" I murmured, now truly feeling bad about the little 'Bambi' that had skipped over to its mother's corpse when I had been done "I hadn't really been paying attention to what type of prey I was singling out. And let's move over from _that_ topic, I don't feel comfortable discussing my hunting"

"It's my duty as your girlfriend to know you are having a healthy diet" and as she said this, I had to grin.

"It's just that it's all rather... National Geographic" I said begrudgingly "Vampire ways are... _wild_"

"I wouldn't mind going all 'national geographic and wild' with you..." she grinned back and I rolled my eyes at her and she sighed "Do you know, how many high school guys would be falling over themselves to know their girlfriend thought of them like that?"  
>"The 'Mike Newton's', surely" I grumbled, evading Ben's name... still hating his plainness even though I had been the better suitor of Angela's heart (ignoring the disadvantage Ben had, it couldn't have been easy standing against a <em>vampire<em>).

"You don't want me to think like that about us?" she asked gently.

"No"

"Do you want me to act like that instead?" she whispered trailing her finger lazily from my forehead down my nose and over my lips. Something in my chest squeezed hard, my fingers removing themselves from any contact with her and fisting her bedcovers hard.

"No" I said and she grinned fully when my voice came out low and textured.

"I don't comprehend your fear of us" she whispered pushing against me. I refused to allow her _this motion_-her insistence to have me lying flat on my back on her bed, her plan to tower over me. She pushed again and pouted when I had turned into an immovable statue. "Okay, fine... a kiss"  
>"You are ruled by your hormones" I muttered.<p>

"You are ruled by your fear" Angela sighed "I am starting to think vampires don't have hormones"  
>"... everything is heightened, so we have to be a lot more careful" I whispered, holding her waist and pushing her a little away from me and keeping her steadily a few inches from me. "Alice was hoping you would oblige her and Rosalie... and come over for a meal. My mother and father are dying to meet you... don't even think of saying they are already dead!"<p>

"You should actually say... don't even say what you are thinking that they are already dead" she retorted petulantly, violently tugging out of my grip on her waist so suddenly that she swerved a little to her right. She was not amused as normal, that I wouldn't yield to her request that I call out to my 'seventeen year old self'. "You are more than welcome to wait while I bathe"  
>"Aren't you showering?" I asked her confused.<p>

"No, I will be bathing" she said innocently and I froze, she didn't bother hiding her thoughts on what her bathroom activities would entail. "Will you be staying?" she asked again, daring me to look into her eyes.

"I'll... leave you to things" I said hoarsely, moving quickly to the window "I have to get the Volvo anyway... appearances... enjoy the..._bath_"

I didn't wait for her response, rushing through the forest and trying to dispel her thoughts, trying not to imagine her laying in the warm water alone and thinking of me while her hand submerged beneath the bubbles to sweet Atlantis.

Sweet Angela, with the spectacles and Youth Meetings on Friday... the perfect vision of safety, the perfect temptress to my innocence.

Why were you so determined to condemn me?

Why... did she want me to hurt her so badly?

Couldn't she see the world as I saw it... that some sacrifices could be made for a lifetime of peace, why did she want to murder it all for a second in heaven. A second, a moment of her in my arms and my mind free and saturated with lust... and it would all end with me losing control from that sweet intellectual hiatus that came, and she would be crushed. In my arms, beneath me, beside me... wherever she was she would be crushed, because of me.

Because of a moment of abandon.

She would be Gone.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"She just called..." Angela said quickly, strapping her seatbelt on in a hurry, to stop me from doing it for her. "I don't see why you are upset"  
>"I am not"<p>

"You just called Alice a gremlin" Angela sat back and smiled patiently at me, the way she did with Henry when he was being unreasonable for no purpose save to be 'unreasonable'.

"She could have told me this when I was home, when she was going on about desert and chocolate" I hissed, wheeling the Volvo into the road and wishing I could light a fire by Alice's feet if only to get her to jump out of my future... meddling, twisting and manipulating things. "And besides, you now the reason I am angry"  
>"We are not conspiring to 'get you'" she laughed "I like spending time with Alice and this is perfect. Dinner with your family and then tomorrow Rosalie and Alice can take me shopping"<br>"Don't patronize me, I am a telepath" I snapped. "I know my whole family is heading to Alaska"  
>"I still don't see your problem" she said innocently.<p>

And she was right, in her mind... this was as simple as enjoying my family's company. Of course, with her little bathroom-shower stunt, I couldn't let my guard down and relax. Her and Alice had had a three minute phone conversation from what I had seen when I had 'borrowed' Angela's phone briefly... three minutes was more than enough time for Alice alert her on exactly how to keep her thoughts from me, three minutes was more than enough for Alice or even Rosalie to hatch a scheme with Angela...

"I just want time alone with you" she sighed.

"We are always together" I stated.

"At my house, with the twins and my father reading you Ephesians and Corinthians and mooning over the wonderful Doctor Cullen" she grumbled. "It isn't the same"  
>"Well, if you weren't so worried about me catching you drooling again... I would be with you in the night"<br>"I think that is just weird" she muttered. "What if I fart in my sleep"  
>"I'll hold my breath"<br>"Are you saying my farts are stinky?"  
>"Fine, I'll breathe them in"<br>"So you have a fart fetish?" she smiled.

"I just can't win with you"

"Not a chance" she grinned. 

Xx~xx~xX

"Do I get to ask for baby pictures?" Angela smiled at Esme.

"Actually..." Esme began and I cut her quickly, with a soft 'no' that earned me a disapproving look from Carlisle. Esme was sitting beside Angela on the couch, Carlisle and Jasper engaged in a game of chess by the window while Rosalie and Alice sat on either side of Emmett on the three-seater.

Dinner had consisted of watching Angela eat, them asking her what spices she liked most and the such... while I cringed at how 'experimental' their meeting with Angela was, especially Rosalie's wayward comment that humans were such fragile creatures, they were harmful to themselves...

Her exact words at the end of that bit of information being "Why Angela, if you didn't chew so thoroughly... you could find your life over so suddenly"...

"We have a few pictures from the fifties" Carlisle murmured "Vampires are not very keen on photography, if you can understand. Documenting stagnancy can be a bit... boring and potentially hazardous if the pictures fell into the wrong hands over a space of decades"  
>"We just have fashion shoots every so often!" Alice chirped.<p>

"Or in other words, Alice guilt's us in some way or manner into lining up for her in our collected antiquities!" Esme laughed. "It used to grate us, but it's become a tradition..."  
><em>They are like any family...<em> Angela mused. _They have traditions..._

"Well... we've cooked for you" Emmett rose from between Rose and Alice suddenly, making a show of stretching and fake yawning "... we've watched you eat our food and drink our wine..."  
>"Have another glass, Angela!" Alice said, appearing right besides Angela with a glass filled unnecessarily too much.<p>

"Err... I really couldn't... I only took a sip from this one" Angela squeaked, pointing at her relatively full glass but taking the offered glass from Alice regardless-always trying to please others and allowing herself to be bullied into compliance by anyone but me...

I tried not to frown. I wasn't jealous of that fact... maybe a little. Maybe I wanted that reaction from her after all... maybe I wanted her to be bullied by me, and not find myself constantly in submission to her, the human. The vampire fearing the human, while the human only feared other humans.

The silliness of it all!

"That was expensive wine, Angela" Rosalie threatened although she was grinning at me "I would like to see it _not go to waste_"  
>"You don't even drink!" I snapped.<p>

"That is such a narrow think to say, Edward" Rosalie said sweetly "I do drink..."  
>"Blood!" I snarled.<p>

"So just because I don't drink wine, you think I want wine to go to waste?" she asked "I bought that wine decades ago..."  
>"To what purpose?" I hissed.<p>

"For celebrations" she said. _A toast to Edward... finally, I know you are not harbouring feelings for my husband... the joy I feel... _

"Drink up" Rosalie insisted.  
>"Rosalie, come now" Esme chided, shaking her head.<p>

"Carlisle!" Emmett cut Carlisle's on coming duo defence with Esme, zooming over to him and gripping his shoulders. "We should go check that the Mercedes is up for the drive to Alaska"  
>"Emmett, we aren't going by car... we are vampires?" Carlisle said slowly, as confused as I was-this dinner was turning insane, they were singing and reciting irrelevant things in their minds... "We go by foot because you know, we are vampires?"<p>

"Dad, there is a human in here..." Emmett whispered, cocking his head at Angela and giving her a suspicious look "Human's aren't supposed to know _that!_"  
>"Emmett, did you drink dead blood?" Carlisle looked genuinely concerned. "Angela knows what we are already..."<br>"Only because we keep reminding her!" Emmett said in phoney anger "You know... we should allow her human mind to forget and stuff. Makes everything easier with... certain vampire laws from Italy"

"Angela, drink up!" Alice commanded stiffly and Angela mumbled something about never having had more than half a glass of wine before.

"Just leave" I muttered. "Go... please?"  
>"Are you sure...?" Esme gave Angela a concerned look "I am afraid we may have..."<br>"Please don't say 'over fed her', mum!" I sighed wearily, rubbing the bridge of my nose furiously and cringing as Alice kept pushing the wine glass up so the wine slipped copiously through a startled Angela's lips "Send my love to Eleazar and Carmen... and my _irritating_ cousins"  
>"Okay, if you are certain" Carlisle removed Emmett's hand from his shoulder and nudged him forward "Since you are so insistent on the car... how about your drive it to Alaska"<br>"You are kidding right?" Emmett laughed nervously through the corridor. "You aren't...?" Emmett whispered in shock, staring at Carlisle with wide disbelieving eyes "Oh, come on Dad... I was just..."  
>"Rosalie, you can accompany your husband" Esme murmured quickly, standing by Carlisle.<p>

What worried me was how they thought it was all 'worth it' in unison. Siblings... I had seen Timmy and Henry in action when I was around, the joy and excitement of a new face and family member. Each one trying to out do the other...

But I wasn't so naïve as to think this was simple as the twin's child's play for attentions.

No one, can control their thoughts so completely and my siblings were not toddlers but decades upon decades old with a knack for enjoying my pain and embarrassment as a form of entertainment.

In seconds, they were out of the house and the Mercedes was driving up the winding driveway to the main road and with no further urging, Angela decided to down her glass of wine and quickly set to work sipping the second glass quickly.

"What's in the bag?" I asked her casually, quickly closing all the windows to the living room as the sun dipped out of sight.

"Which bag?" she asked in fake innocence, her thoughts steering vaguely in the direction of the bag, before she busied her mind with thinking of all the bags she owned... trying to remember every detail of her school bag.

"Your sleep over bag"

"A live possum" she said "I thought I would bring you a snack"  
>"I had no idea you had gotten this close to my siblings" I smiled at her and her eyes widened at my beauty. The orange rays of the sun filtered over her head, and caught me for a few seconds in their revealing touch and I was, for a moment, a diamond god before her. We were alone now, in twilight. "I fear, you are closer to them than even me!" I laughed. "I am a little jealous"<br>"I am not so close to Jasper" she said.

"No, not Jasper" I agreed. "So what did you all talk about when Alice put you on loud speaker?"  
>"How amazingly gifted you are" she didn't dwell on how I came to know they had all had a conference around one phone.<br>"I would have believed you a little more willingly if you had said 'how much of a know it all' I am" I laughed. "Seriously, Angela... your comradeship with Rosalie frightens me. Alice... well, I know she wants what is good for me in her strange leprechaun like way"  
>"Would you stop with the short jokes, Alice is lovely!" Angela pouted. "And with Rosalie... you two are just too alike, that's why you grate each other I think"<br>"I am nothing like Rosalie" I could feel myself frown at the very notion.  
>"Pease..." Angela huffed, sipping her wine again. "Blonde... Bronze... one is redder and one isn't"<br>"So what, our similarities are in our hair colour?"  
>"Your... stubbornness... and... passion" she said slowly, rising with her glass in her hand and stretching lightly. "Alice said I was to make you organise some desert for me..."<br>"I am not stripping for you" I sighed, exhausted by her thoughts while frightened at her determination with the subject.

"A milk tart will do then" she smiled, going the wrong way to the kitchen.

"Kitchen is to the left, Angela" I sighed.

"Right" she said.

"Left"  
>"I meant right, it's to the left!" she snapped, wheeling around and stomping off to the kitchen "For a telepath, you sure miss a lot!"<br>"Ms Weber, you are no good at lying whereas I ... well, there is a reason I became a telepath when I was turned"  
>"If I turned, what do you think my talent would be?" she asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.<p>

"I... don't... want to think like that" I tried to smile but it came out a grimace, her slightly tipsy mind missed it thankfully. "I know what your talents are right now; one of them is driving me up the wall just to get your way"

"You know, I think you would be a cooler vampire if you turned into a bat" she said seriously, watching me as I laid out the chocolate slab and cream on the island. "Or at least, drank blood only from young maidens... Don't you want to be cool Edward?" she grinned slyly, before cocking her head and exposing an expanse of creamy light caramel skin "Drink from a young maiden"  
>"Don't joke like that" I said.<p>

"Or you'll what?" she challenged "Turn into a bat?"  
>"Or I will stop being so <em>nice<em> to you" I growled, moving over to her and standing too close, pushing my senses to ignore being so close to her "I try not to be Dracula here... won't you stop being..."  
>"Don't you dare say Jezebel"<br>"Jezebel" I said, taking another deliberate step forward, holding her with my eyes while she commanded her body not to fidget. She reached behind her for her glass, and gulped the contents down leaving her lips stained beautifully in plum satin.

"Err..." she flicked her gaze over my shoulder, thinking that she needed space to breathe and think, if she wasn't going to drown and melt into a pool right by my feet and then impulsively, she chucked her glass over my shoulder. I rushed and caught it naturally and she quickly scuttled from her position and went to open the refrigerator.

"Why is it so full if you all don't eat?" she asked feeling the cool air of the refrigerator eagerly and trying to gain some control of her mind, her voice riddled with pitches.

"You could have just told me your hormones were burning you from the inside and you didn't like the sensation" I looked at the glass, smelling the stinging aroma of alcohol "No need to play catches with Esme's glasses"  
>"Who said I hated the sensation?" she asked "I simply want..."<br>"Control" I finished, smiling beside myself. "You don't want control, Angela, you want to..."  
>"Dominate" she breathed, her heart squeezing suddenly and with it the air in the kitchen was set on fire. "To dominate you"<p>

"I am a vampire" I whispered "You are a human. You can't have it that way, you can't just throw it all into the flames..."  
>"I have never felt like this about someone"<br>"I am not someone, I am _something_"  
>"Would you stop..."<br>"Would you stop first!" I hissed, rushing away from her deliberate stalking-she had been inching towards me slowly, and I reappeared at the other side of the island. We stood opposite each other, her eyes wide and shining, fevering passion left bare thanks to the wine...

Rosalie and Alice, my dear sisters... crafty witches.

We stood opposite each other, her impassioned eyes staring into my terrified ones, her breathing laboured, her soft exhales echoing my own deeper pointless ones, but there it was. We had both exerted ourselves against the other's desires, but she was as she should know by now-dictating our dance, the speed in which we moved and causing me to fight harder...

"I would like my desert please" she whispered hoarsely, touching the glass I had placed on the counter "and more wine"  
>"No more wine, but desert... is on its way" I said, opting for whipped cream over strawberries with melted chocolate.<p>

She watched me silently as I made it, undressing me, redressing me, fidgeting with her collar and occasionally saying something wayward like "I wish I was that cream... being whipped", or pointing out how "Grating it is... to be this bothered" while I grated the chocolate and wishing to be 'Stirred' as I stirred the chocolate sauce.

"There" I announced. "I think... actually, it smells horrid but I am more than certain the chocolate smells lovely to you"

"I don't know" she grumbled "I have become desensitized to all the pleasures of the world, thanks to you"  
>"Melodrama is not a colour that suits you"<br>"And yet here you are, sparkling and gorgeous in the lovely hue of sadism and beautiful shade of masochism, complementing each other in one twirling dual colour" she waved her hand over my form.

"How am I sadistic?"

"So you agree that you are being a masochist?"  
>"Fully" I stirred the chocolate, watching her from the corner of my eye-convinced she had vampiric speed in her, and that she would send her body hurling to mine if I dared to blink. "I never denied that, but sadism is a new one"<br>"You are a telepath, surely you can put yourself in the mind of a teenage girl and know how absolutely torturous it is to have a boyfriend of God-Like sexual appeal who kisses like a devil..."

"I do not kiss like the devil"  
>"It was meant as a complement"<br>"I would rather you said I kissed like an angel"  
>"What is the problem, you are more prone to atheism so why should you care...?" she quirked an eyebrow.<p>

"My point, our physical reaction is a sin... if kissing you feels like I am tempting you from your sound reason in God and Christianity"  
>"Or maybe kissing you, is tempting me out of my reason and into something untitled?"<p>

"The unknown is dangerous"  
>"You can't know that" she said.<p>

"And why not?"  
>"Because it is the <em>unknown <em>Edward, if you knew it would be the '_known'_"

"You want chocolate over those?" I asked her stiffly and she pushed her bowl over to me, picking a strawberry up and licking the cream off slowly. I ignored her, busying myself with the sauce and spatula "Angela, you wont like it when I join in your game"  
>"I wasn't aware I was playing a game"<br>"You think I don't know what you are up to, and what Alice has arranged for you"  
>"Your siblings think you are unbreakable" she chuckled.<p>

"You have already smashed me into a million pieces, what you are heading for is grinding me into fine dust" I said, lazily reaching over the space and wiping the corner of her mouth free of a droplet of cream. "You are playing a game, and you know it"  
>"Fine" she smiled. "I am playing a game, are you satisfied that you really are deserving of the title 'know it all'?"<br>"I could run away from you this whole night, you know"  
>"I have no doubt that you could, but you won't" she said.<p>

"I can play too" I told her, grinning "Now wouldn't this be a tale-the century old vampire and the Christian girl pushing the other till breaking point. You really think you could win?"

"I already have" she purred "Are you not agreeing to _not be a prude _right now?_"  
><em>"I am agreeing to illustrating and teaching you the dangers of playing with matches"

"Burn me away, Edward" she leaned back, eyes dark and intoxicated. "Flourish me with your love..."

"What do you want from me?!" I hissed, forgetting my bravado in the face of her wanton lack of reticence, such behaviour and emotions threatening me and frightening me. "Is it that you want us to be done with your purity right now...!"

"Don't be so narrow and forgetful" she smiled a shrewd smile "Could it really be a sin if it's committed by two beings that are 'pure'?" She leaned away from the counter and cockily looked up at me "Besides, I cannot forget that I am a Christian... no thanks to you and my pastor of a father constantly telling me that the Devil loves virgins"  
>"And I am the devil"<br>"No, you can't be any sort of devil... you seem to thrive off of hating virgins, not devil like behaviour at all is it?" she pursed her lips to stop from grinning, light gleaming in her eyes. "But if you are so certain that you are the devil, prove it to me?"  
>"When did you become so wicked?"<p>

"It must be all this tension that's making me cranky" she sighed wearily.

"Maybe you should take another 'bath'" I grumbled and she laughed, covering her mouth and removing her glasses.

"Maybe you should take a bath with me?" she asked eventually, wiping tears from her eyes before folding her glasses-deciding that in her current state it was pointless to have them on after all.

"You frighten me" I admitted.

"Is this you backing out of my game?" she asked.

"I need to find my bearings, that's all" I said

"I have seen you be your charming self to get your way, do you really want me to believe that you are truly inefficient at terrorizing my nerves?"

"Well, it was easier before when I thought of you as but an interesting human but now that I am so fully and entirely enraptured with you in such a...a..."  
>"Sexual?" she offered, her eyes large on my face and hearing zoning on my voice, the words they formed only fuelling her.<p>

"Sexual seems so inadequate sometimes" I murmured absently before continuing. "It is easier to be charming when you are not so aware of the being you are charming in such a manner, so confused and befuddled by the way they string your every naïve nerve with dainty..."

I picked her hand up easily and brushed her finger tips over my lips.

"Stringing and plucking my every nerve with these small elegant digits" I murmured over them and she gulped, her eyes widened to full capacity and skin flushing exquisitely. "I think I just found my bearings Angela"  
>"I think you just did" she agreed shyly. "And I think... I may need to take that bath, after all" she stuttered as I kissed each finger tip before bringing her hand to cup my cold cheek.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

Of course, I could remember the little chat I had had with my sisters and cousins back in Denali...

But as she bathed-thankfully in a child friendly setting although her mind and nerves were as attuned to me as I was attuned to every slosh and swirl of water, the sound of the sponge moving over her skin wounding my judgment and mental dilemma-could I do anything past kissing with Angela?

The very act of kissing in itself had always been such a feat, a distraction that required my every concentration to be hypnotised to her alone lest I find my hands roving all over her hidden body in all her sweaters and baggy t-shirts.

I was pacing my room, occasionally glaring at the silly oversized bed Rosalie had convinced me to buy- Rosalie stating that Angela would need more space to adjust to not having her own bed here... I could be very gullible at times, especially with Rosalie who never cared to the negative or the positive with regards to my affairs (unless of course, it was to torture me but that would have involved her leaving her small little sparsely populated world to bother herself).

Of course, telepathy was as much a curse and a blessing as it was coddling to my suspicions and awareness to those around me. I relied on it too much to spot out ploys...

Her feet touched the tiles of the bathrooms softly, a soft sloppy sound of moisture moving from under them and my pacing stopped, head cocking in the direction of the sound-of the bathroom down the long passage.

I hadn't come to a decision yet.

Her other foot came down on the tiles; I was momentarily lost in her mind as her bad vision squinted through the warm light of the bathroom for a towel. I knew were the towel was, and I waited for her to spot the light lime coloured towel before I plunged back into my own mind as she wrapped herself in it after locating it.

I hadn't come to a decision yet... I was pacing furiously, fisting my hair and calling on all the God's of the world for a sign and an answer. What could I possibly do, what sort of control could I possibly possess that would allow me to convey to her my deep heady affection without breaking her...!

I wasn't ready, good God of Carlisle, I wasn't ready at all.

She entered Alice's room, where she had placed her bag in earlier, and shut the door and I tensed at the sound of the light switching on. Each movement she made, each breath and sigh and wonder she gave... was a ticking arm on the time I had, to realise my true bearing with regards to Angela and I's relationship... this sexual side of it that I had thought so securely couldn't exist and that she wouldn't want from me.

I wasn't as naïve as to not know the other things that I could do to her, that I may be able to hold some semblance of control so that her life wouldn't find itself at risk with my own... loss of concentration.

None of the things I could come up with, could save her, I knew this. There wasn't a scenario of myself being in a state of sexual act with her that I could be certain I wouldn't lose control.

"Alice Cullen!" Angela roared and I forgot my dilemma at the sound of her anger and zoomed to the other side of the house to her, reminded by Alice and Jasper's shut door that Angela had come out of the bathroom and would be changing.

"Angela?" I called and she huffed, I could see through her eyes, her thoughts nothing but slurs of 'he is right, you are a gremlin... little imp... little pixie...' "Can I come in, Angela?"  
>"Yes" she puffed and I opened the door slowly.<p>

"What is wrong...?" I began, side tracked by the vision of her in a rather short lime towel that made her olive skin glow like it had been caramelized and honeyed. It was difficult not to notice the way it clung onto her, how it became convex by her hips, concaved by her waist and resumed its curve by her bust, were she held the towel furiously with her small hand.

"This!" she hissed raising something black.

It was a lace sleeping... _something._

"When she said she would organise for me time alone with you..." Angela mumbled, opening the clothing article and holding it up for me to see "I had no idea she would be so... I mean, before I was really teasing... mostly... well, I mean... this is too much, won't you agree? She is too much"  
>"Definitely" I managed gulping down the growl the word came out in, incapable of looking away from the sleek sheer lingerie with twirling silky frills at one end and boning in the middle... I was failing to rein in my male mind, and not mentally clothe Angela in it as she stood there glaring at it in offence.<p>

"I was only going to wear this... where are my shorts... I can't find my shorts" she flung the black thing across Alice and Jasper's elegant simple bed and rummaged through her bag for the shorts. I could have told her that if Alice had put lingerie in her bag, she would have known her reaction and removed any of Angela's own clothing to keep her planned future in play.

But I didn't trust my voice, and I remained silent, looking from the unassuming black piece to Angela's energetic movements in her towel over her bag.

"Nothing!" Angela was half hysterical, holding something green and lacy in her closed fists "But lingerie!"

"You could try some of Alice's clothes" I said slowly, walking to the couch and sitting stiffly in it, forcing my eyes to look at the lush rug by the side of the bed and trace the shapes in it.

"Locked, locked and locked!" Angela cried, shaking and pulling at the wardrobes and drawers. "My other clothes I was wearing got wet!"  
>"How did they get wet?"<p>

"I don't know, I took them off too close to the bathtub or something!"

"Calm down" I said and smiled a little "Well, it looks like you might get the devil out of me tonight, eh?"

"It's too much" she repeated softly "I don't feel... comfortable with it, even in a two piece bathing suit I would be so..."  
>"You are beautiful" I said quickly, snapping my eyes over to her and holding her large brown eyes in mine. "You are alluring, you are enthralling and you are my perfection... and trust me, you stepping in that sheer piece of string that my sister considers a clothing article, that would cause my undoing"<p>

"You are the sweetest" she smiled shyly "I am sorry, about before when I said you were sadistic..."  
>"Seems that lingerie sobered you up" I chuckled, rising from the couch "How do you feel about men's attire? I don't own any pyjama's for obvious reasons..."<br>"I would like that" she said softly, and I led her out of Alice's room of terror by the hand.

Xx~xx~xX

"Nothing but shirts?" she guffawed, staring into the wardrobe.

"I have t-shirts" I sighed "But Alice..." I had no explanation on why I couldn't find my t-shirts that had been stacked right over the jeans. "She must have decided I needed a new stock"

"Ralph Lauren" she read the tag on the collar of one shirt and the pushed it to the side, reading the tag on the collar of the next "Armani..." and then the next "Gucci..."

"The point of this exercise is for you to choose a shirt" I sighed "Not show me how well you read fashion house names"

"Do you have a generic brand?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. Her skin had dried somewhat, and if I had thought it would stop being so tantalising when it was glistening with moisture I was corrected. It looked so smooth and breakable, delicious in its mat quality...

"I'll chose for you" I said "You seem to be too comfortable in that towel, maybe you should just sleep in it"

"Humph" she huffed, crossing her arms, still not amused with Alice and of course, in her embarrassment I was the target of choice.

"Here" I handed her a dark navy shirt and she immediately checked the tag, irking me with her own irritation on my affinity to designer shirts.

"Armani" she said evenly, unbuttoning the shirt while holding the hander up. "You like Armani?"

"I like nice shirts in general, we all do" I said tetchily, realising she planned on wearing the shirt over her towel and turning around. "And we like donating large amounts of money to various charity organisations... you want to check the tags on that too?"

She ignored me and laughed softly.

"You wouldn't have seen anything" she chuckled, chucking the towel at my feet when she was done dressing "Not that you would care if I showed you"  
>"The difference with my being a know it all and your general stubbornness that you have me figured out, Angela" I said, picking the towel up and folding it "Is that I generally do know it all were as you, like to rely on pessimistic assumptions"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

Did Alice see this version of the future?

I was possible she did because as Angela curled her legs under her, busying herself with tying her hair in a bun while murmuring some nonsense about needing to go and see Jacob Black sometime... all while sitting in the middle of the lush bed, with the golden covers complementing everything about her and more importantly, everything distracting and beautiful about her in that navy shirt and smooth creamy skin.

The shirt, felt worse than the lingerie some how...

The shirt, that looked masculine on me, somehow turned into something so decadent on her with her curved that should have been hidden under the large shirt fleeting through and begging to be worshipped.

"So you and I will never ever move past kissing?" she asked, when I made no response on her questions on the Quileute and how they knew of us or if 'we' should go and see Jacob.

"I think... we could" I said slowly, sitting opposite the bed on the couch and watching her carefully, allowing myself to react in more defined ways to everything about her, letting it take me to certain places I feared when I was around her. She gulped, her eyes entranced by mine momentarily, before I released her and looked at my hands... wishing they were shaking and nervous as my decision rolled out before me.

"Angela" I called her sternly and she let out a feeble 'yes'. "I am not ready to lose myself in you; I have not nearly as much control as I should to journey there with you. I strongly theorise that if I were female and if you were not so tempting then maybe... I could be... more..." I looked up to her and smiled softly "I could be more mature with my emotions and not allow them to take me over when I am in such a place"

"How do you know they take you over?!" she demanded, her heart beat raised and skin now back to glowing as little dews of moisture seeped out of it.

I raised my eyebrow and allowed her to come to the conclusion on her own.

"I take baths too" I said and then added nervously "But I suppose, some activities require a swim in the lake for me..."

"Oh" she turned bright red and busied herself with circling the button on the cuff of the shirt and drawing my eye to the motion.

"I would hurt you" I said. "Do you understand that?"  
>"Yes" she whispered.<p>

"But you couldn't hurt me, if you weren't in control" I murmured, rising from the couch and walking slowly to the bed. "You could lose it as many times as you wanted, and you wouldn't hurt me..."

"Edward?" she whispered as I moved over the bed to her. She moved back, allowing me to hover over her as she lay back on the lush covers, her eyes and fearful... her heart crashing and slamming in her chest.

"You want me to hurt you so bad" I whispered, kissing her forehead "And you don't even know how badly it is that I want to hurt you... but neither of us is sadistic. Just... reckless masochists" I kissed the tip of her nose and she exhaled sharply, failing to recover her steady beat. It thrummed and roared, blood pumping thick and sweet in her.

Her skin spread out in goose bumps, and as I nudged her neck and she turned her head up to expose its creamy elegant expanse, I saw the unfamiliar raise of my shirt on her easily, her firm breast covered but enough flesh swelled out and hypnotising me in the contrast of navy and golden cream, the prominent points of her nipples thrilled attention pushing the fabric.

I wanted to back away from my decision, and I hesitated in kissing her neck, hovering over her uncertain, terrified and deathly still. She shuddered as her tension caused muscles to ache and brushed her nose past mine as she turned her head so she could gaze into my eyes. I could see the dual reflection of my eyes in her mind and clear eyes; wide smouldering gold eyes, so obviously petrified by the realisation that my veins were filled with venom that was pooling in my mouth and demanding to be sent to southern regions.

"Kiss me" she commanded, her little arms going around me and hands applying featherlike pressure to the small of my back. I kissed her carefully, my lips held firm together while her hot tender ones brushed and coaxed mine to life with futile energy. She groaned and audaciously nipped my lower lip, sending a growl though me that failed to die down and she felt the vibration of it.

Her hand moved from the small of my back, pushing and feeling their way up before coming back around between the considerable space between us and tugging and harassing my shirt-the shirt I wore. She undid two buttons while I tried to remember what it felt like to think straight, then a third before giving up and reaching down and scraping her nails gently over my abdomen in her pursuit to feel the planes of my chest and this time... the growl did leave my lips, and my breath moved over her face and startled her into stillness.

"Would you make it a little easier for me not to squash you right now?!" I growled, reaching down and removing her hands from under my shirt and bringing them up over her head, and resting my weight on my elbows, bringing us closer. I took her other hand and locked it over her head too, both her hands caged under my large ashen one. "Be still" I told her by her ear and she immediately felt the urge to fidget and writhe, it made me chuckle.

"If you move, I'll stop" I told her "No matter... how you feel... sometimes you have to try and ignore it, no matter how _good it is._" I told her, trailing my free hand over the skin of her thigh, the heat of her body increasing and blazing over my own skin. I stopped by the fabric of her underwear-vaguely aware that she would be wearing something Alice provided.

She was hyperventilating under me, her eyes wide and dark and staring wildly and anxiously at me, breath escaping her invitingly parted full lips fervently.

"Be still!" I commanded, carefully releasing her hands and rising up over her and bracing myself with one hand. I hooked a finger under my shirt and tore it off, tossing it to some irrelevant corner of my room. She gazed at my naked upper torso hungrily, eyes hooded before she danced her gaze back up to my face.

"I want to touch you" she said hoarsely, about to lower her hands from over her head. Her right leg shot up to the left of me and I became too aware that I was situated between her legs. I felt the skin there brush over my hips, the heat of it shocking my skin. I shakily reached down and lowered her leg, pressing the supple thigh gently back down and groaning all the while.

"You can't touch me!" I pleaded, lowering myself again and quickly locking her hands away once more, above her head and into my hand, before she ruined us both with her nonexistent control. I managed a kiss on her neck, parting my lips slightly and billowing a cold breeze over her overheated skin. She shuddered and rose from the bed, her body momentarily flushed with mine and my vampire mind calculating easily what each curve, rise and softness was from that millisecond of contact...

She fell back down hard, breathing furiously.

"This is my world" I whispered, kissing her neck, her jaw and her face... wondering if she could hear me over her harried breathing and my own suddenly hoarse one, her thoughts were nothing to go by now... she might as well be mute "If you move I'll stop... sometimes it feels so good I don't care" I whispered over her skin "When you kiss me, sometimes... I don't care and I want to hold you as tight as I can so you won't ever be able to escape me"

"Me too!" she breathed, her hands tugging in my loose grip. "I want you to _hold_ me..." she moaned as I placed another wispy kiss between her jaw and neck.

"I come alive..."I moved from over her slightly, the movement aligning us in all the wrong and precise ways so that I could feel the immense heat of her billowing opposite my pants. I didn't dare look down, convinced now that her shirt was raised. I kept her hands held over her head and traced her face with my index finger, her full lips and small nose... her eyes shut, her soft eyelids and brow.

I traced her neck, her jaw and collar. I moved over the fabric of the shirt and traced down and casually tried to ignore the feel of the swell of her breast, the feel of her hidden nipple on that finger but it was all engraved in my mind and it was all fuelling the rushing sound of her blood moving viciously through her veins, her heart stuttering and crying to me.

I felt hot, not because of her heat any longer but my own internal one welling and blooming inside of me. Sensations erupting and pooling in the pit of my stomach, that all roared alive when I felt the thinned of the fabric of her underwear when my hand pushed the shirt up-I had stopped breathing, as uncomfortable as it was but Carlisle had been all to right about a vampire males reaction to scents. I looked down and saw red sheer something clinging to her toned exceptionally curved lower half, the smoothness of her stomach exposed up to half way to her rib cage.

I was immediately hard, no control could save me from that now.

"Don't stop!" she begged, writhing and forgetting my warning for stillness. So I didn't stop, I trailed my finger lazily up over the rim of the underwear, I felt her ribcage and touched the lower swell of her breast before inhaling sharply-I needed the air-and supping her breast.

She groaned lustily in the air, arching her back and pressing her soft full breast into my hand, her nipple tickling the centre of my palm sadistically while I tried to hold onto some control on her physical reaction and the decadent scent locked in my mind.

I needed to do something... should I stop... I couldn't stop...

I kneaded her breast once and she moaned ant the sensation of my cold skin and the tentative feather like pressure my fear managed to allow. "Harder!" she hissed, her body turning nuclear-too hot, dangerous... radioactive...

She groaned into the air, the sound of her husky voice mingling with my low growl for a second before the room filled only with the reverberating growl, rebounding of walls and shaking the windows.

I released her hands and she immediately attacked my hair but it was a brief assault as I removed the shirt and left her bare before me, my mind whirling with monstrous thoughts to just 'give her what she truly wants'. I persevered and lowered onto her, kissing down her neck, collar and tasting her skin so exquisite, her breasts like satin to my lips. I kissed her nipple and she cried out my name and I froze again, almost tipping over the line between civilised and true vampire and just flipping her over and...

And what exactly.

"Argh" I groaned, shuddering and commanding my body not to press into her. I kissed her breast again and she began letting out a series of short huffs into the air, her body trembling. I swirled my tongue over the silken bundled nipple and she resumed chanting my name, her hand going over my free hand kneading her breast.

"Edward!" she cried, her hand slackening over mine and body pressing up once more that I was left with no doubt what was causing that tantalizing heat beneath us down south, and choking the air in sweet blissful sin.

I kissed the middle of her smooth stomach, her hands busying themselves with pulling at her own hair and body arching gently before falling weakly back down, skin glistening in sweat. Her abdomen was peppered in a million kissed before I reached the treacherous red underwear...

"Pleaaaaaaaseee!" she begged, lifting her body so my nose bumped against the fabric.

"Control... Angela, please" I begged back, controlling her body by holding her hips down. I couldn't be forceful, tactile senses were definitely skewed right now... but every delicateness was shaky. I removed one hand from her curves and touched the underwear.

"You smell _divine_" I moaned, nudging my nose slowly over her and steadying her leg to stop her from winding them around my head. I felt the heat, the fire and inferno, I felt the moistness, and I felt the shape and form and soft petals hidden under the lace...

I felt the monster in me growl and roar and plead to be allowed to conquer such treasures. "Just a taste..."I told it, tearing the underwear of her carefully-it felt like air in my hands and tossing it away.

"Oh God" I breathed hard "Just a... little taste"  
>"Pleasssse!" she moaned again, arching almost as though she knew my dilemma and was making the decision for me, her hands clawing the bed sheets.<p>

"I have to be carefully" I whispered shakily, staring at her core and falling in love-obsession. "Venom" I managed, swallowing back the pools of venom in my mouth. I had to swallow three times, trying to keep my tongue adequately dry and failing with each roar of my neck, each thrumming of my cock...

"Just a taste" I whispered over her and licked her once, tasting honey while she groaned freely into the air. The sensation of her fiery inferno against my tongue, the sensation of my cold frozen equally marble tongue inside of her from her mind...

She was panting, and I was rubbing and tasting her, no need for air any longer. No break in my foray of her, no stuttering of the pace but obedience to the heat and flavour, the taste and shape of her flower...

The wonder of the soft muscles and the kissing strength they had. I gripped the bed and heard the mattress groan in my grip, wires creaking-all in the background of Angela's whimpers and wanton mewls. I was in white pain from the sensation, my pants strained and the sound of the button popping free from the tailored pants. I slammed the bed into the wall suddenly, startling myself-but she heard nothing, not the whack of the wood on the wall and not the shudder, as fearsome as they had been. I didn't stop, not then, opting to grip the underneath of the bed, while releasing her leg-I couldn't hold her in any way now, my every concentration in not moving past licking and thrusting at her with my tongue. As heavenly as it all tasted, teeth had to remain impartial to my activities.

"Edward!" she cried, chanted, begged, threatened and swore; her high peaking, her shudders violent and her legs going over my head like I had feared but it mattered not... air was for the mortal. She tried to push and pull me closer with her legs, the heat between her scorching but I welcomed it...

And in one deliberate hard stroke over the bundle of nerves and a soft suck, she came undone. She arched into the air, her hands spreading out to her sides like wings and fisting the covers and mouth open and round but not a sound came out, except for the roaring scream erupting in her mind as she was suspended in white bliss.

She fell back down shuddering, her thoughts frayed and simple colours of white and gold, and her legs fell from around me. I pushed the bed back gently and it groaned, tipping to one end before the leg at the foot to my left gave way and the whole thing tipped to the left. She felt nothing of it, although she rolled a little to the left with the motion.

The beige carpet around me was gouged out, the cement underneath lay in little rubbles around the balding patches of carpeting and wood chipping scattered by my knees. Nothing about the bed frame by the foot, were I kneeled breathing hard, suggested the bed had ever been elegant.

Scratched and ruined, the one leg severed and the headboard was missing a plane from when I had slammed it into the wall. The plane lay beside Angela and I froze... it would have fallen over her, slammed right above her...

I closed my eyes and pulled back the hideous scenario. When I opened them, she was staring up at me intoxicated and barely alert, noticing my slightly open pants and erection before looking up past my pale torso and smiling drunkenly at me. I saw my dark black eyes staring at her in wonder.

"Sleep" I whispered, reaching over her and taking the offensive plank before moving her easily into the blankets. "It seems I am no Devil, you remain a virgin" I whispered, kissing her forehead "Just a fallen Angel"

"Edward..." she mumbled.

"Sleep" I said again, smiling "I am going for a swim in the lake, my love"

"I love you too" she said.

Xx~xx~xX

Something about the act, giving her pleasure, seemed to tie me to her in a more permanent way than I had ever thought possible. I tried not to wonder of the future, like I had promised Carlisle-to live in the present of being her age and with her...

But it would come eventually, and in my current state of awkward bliss with her huddled in the blankets and asleep in my arms and the taste of her sweet on my tongue still-I could never allow any other to touch her in any way vaguely resembling what I had given to her.

We were lying on the couch; the bed was in no condition to house a cuddled human and a vampire and lay opposite us ostentatious and large, broken and evidence that passion was not something easily controllable. I was calm-a calmness and contentment I had never known-ignoring her question of what it was I had gone to do in the lake that she wasn't to be privy of (she had forced herself into a state of awareness for the question, before muttering that she would pursue it later on)...

She was dreaming of me again, and there was a lake... not the lake I had taking my 'swim' in, but the lake of her dreams. We stood at one side this time, her hands intertwined with mine and opposite us, across from the lake Leah Clearwater and Jacob Black wrestled with someone she identified as Sam and a group of other boys she had seen at the bon fire on First Beach. Leah and Jacob tried futilely to fight the bigger muscled boys of, desperately trying to cross the stream to Angela...

While I held her hand in mine, and I realised in the dream, I was holding her in place. Keeping her from running to them, and risking the smoking burning stream to get to her new friends and help them.

"Edward, we have to go and see them!" she said erratically, as they were right before us across the stream. "Edward, Sam is hurting Leah!"  
>"They don't matter to us" Edward, the dream me said and just like that, Sam and his goons pulled Leah and Edward back into the dark forest and they disappeared forever.<p>

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**This was a long while coming.**

**Thank you to all the constant reviews, you guys are legends and those of you who are shy... Pretty please, review and let your thoughts be known!**

**Xx**

**Tj**


	28. The Grey Area

**The Grey Area**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**x**

Was it selfish of me to want to be the only friend and confidant she had?

Had I become so used to this, so addicted to her that the thought of sharing her was the same as losing her forever? I could justify myself, I could say that it was because of the wolves of the Quileute-this would be the most logic and hard proof to it all…

And really, I was concerned about the wolves.

"Give me one good reason…"

"I could give you a dozen, but like I explained Angela…" I sighed wearily, avoiding her narrowed gaze and placing her hand in mine, revelling in the heat of it and its silky fragility.

"What, you can't tell me without dishonouring Carlisle?" she demanded, yanking her hand away and standing in front of me, hip cocked to one side and eyes challenging. "I don't believe that crap!"

"Well, I don't really care whether you believe it or not!" I lied, matching my anger with hers "Your safety comes first!"

"No, I think it's your prejudice that comes first, Edward!" she hissed.

"You don't know how wrong you are" I laughed dryly.

"I think I just discovered it" she said dangerously softly, grabbing her bag and reaching for her car keys. I took them away easily and stored them in my pocket before she could even blink and make out the motion. "My keys" she grated, eyes closed and foot tapping insistently.

"I always drive you to school"

"You are a telepath… I think you know exactly what's going on"

"You can't have it both ways, Angela" I sighed "Either I am pretending not to hear your thoughts or I can outright _hear _your thoughts"

"Give me my keys"

"I'll drive you to school"

"I don't want your company right now" she said coolly "Give me my keys now, Edward. I am not going to the reservation. I actually have a math test to go to first"

"So you do plan on going to the reservation eventually?"  
>"I am not planning, I am <em>going<em>"

How on earth could this one small delicate human woman seem like an army of newborn vampires?

"We shall see" I said, handing her the keys. She looked at them suspiciously at first, and then she looked at me charily before pouting exquisitely and stomping all the way to her car.

We would see if she goes to the reservation, indeed.

Xx~xx~xX

It was too much for her to ask, she knew this. What upset Angela the most though, was that Edward didn't even _pretend_ to try and trust her or pretend to _not _be bullying her out of her free will. She could see the silver Volvo clearly in her rear-view mirror but she couldn't make out the occupants inside it.

She was imagining him scowling exquisitely, thick dark eyebrows knit and mouth set into a hard line. It would be funny to her on another day but today, it only served to infuriate her further; he had the audacity to think that it was _her _who was being unfair.

"Absurd vampire" she grumbled, pressing her foot on the pedal and flinching when her car complained about her speeding ambitions.

It was a long drive to school, and when she had arrived, she had set herself up perfectly for a foul anti-Edward mood and she was going to see it through...

So when he told her he would ensure she got what she wanted, without any need for her to go to the reservation... she braced herself to see if Edward Cullen could truly deliver outside of his narrow leniency.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

The walls around her world were crumbling but Leah had enough sense to understand that this break from the familiarity of her boundaries was not freedom. She was not free...

All that had happened now was that she was plunged into a different sort of chaos. The type of chaos that she could never have a fair chance of controlling because until the point that she had found herself in the questionable car crash with Angela and Jacob... everything had been black and white.

To wake up to the realisation that the world wasn't in fact black and white, and to witness the chaos of the grey area first hand, was too much for Leah. She had always known that love and hate were the grey area of the world.

Knowing this fact, and realising that it was reality only increased her chaos.

Love; the weakest and strongest emotion to ever find its self created between two people-the same could be thought of hate but such emotions did not solely exist between what was black and white; they had their own rules in their complex spectrum.

They had their weaker shades, stronger brightness and terrifying darkness. What is right and wrong when it comes to love and hate…?

There is no such thing as right and wrong when dealing with matters of the heart… what there is instead is society's laws herding the morality of such multifaceted passions to its own understanding. An acceptable understanding… and under this, there can be no room for controversy.

But nothing is ever black and white.

And living in the grey area is controversy at its most adamant state.

Xx~xx~xX

There was anger in her that she couldn't completely understand. She knew its structure and interior; she was jealous of Emily, she was upset with her father… she hated Sam (but hate and love… the line between the two was blurred) and mostly, she was upset with herself for being so _incredibly_ weak…

"…they moved in together…" her mother was saying while folding the dishcloths, a small smile on Sue Clearwater's face that Leah knew conveyed approval of the situation between Emily and Leah's eternal crush Sam. She looked away as her mother continued her murmurs of praise for Sam and Emily being such a _lovely_ couple…

"The tribe is so pleased with the whole thing…" Sue continued and Leah groaned her internal pain away, sinking further into her seat and her scowl turning more vicious. "Oh, Lee… Emily was telling me she never knew a love like that could exist…"

"Emily is a whore" Leah said brusquely, her voice overlapping her thoughts. Her mother momentarily paused her folding before peering at her sulking skinny and suddenly rather tall daughter.

"What was that Leah?" Sue Clearwater asked softly, the cloth she had been folding being wrung mercilessly in her hand "Because it sounds like you called your cousin a whore?"

"Did it really sound like that?" Leah asked softly, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes" Sue allowed a droplet of hope to filter through her anger that she had indeed heard wrong. "It really sounded like that Leah…"  
>"Well, if it sounded like that…!" Leah growled, rising from her chair with such violence that it slid half way across the tiles and only stopped its motion when it slammed into the refrigerator "Then just maybe mother… it is exactly that!"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

She sat far off on First Beach, her knees drawn to her chest and hair long and wild around her face. She could feel the frown on her face, the twisting of the anger in her and the never ending grumbling of her stomach.

She had spun out so many little fantasies in her mind and she hated how pathetic that made her. She hated that one of those fantasies involved Sam professing that he had been harbouring secret feelings for her just like she had been having secret feeling for him… and behind Emily's back, they would start an affair.

"I am pathetic" she whispered to herself, glaring out to the grey sea and ignoring Jared, Paul, Embry and Jacob a little way off to her right. She peeked at them after a second and her mood became worse; they were all laughing and carefree… even Jacob, who had suddenly ditched being her only friend for joining Sam's little gang.

He had been depressed about Isabella and she had been curious about the Cullens and under this, they had commiserated. And then one day, Jacob didn't come skipping into her kitchen and Billy wouldn't say why except insinuate that his son shouldn't be hanging around with a woman much older than he, as she was.

And so Leah was left completely alone… grounded to the lands of the Quileute, far away from her only other 'sort of' friend, Angela Weber.

"I hate them all" she whispered. "Sam and his idiot goons"

"All of them?" a husky voice asked. She looked up and saw him, Jacob Black-her fifteen year old only friend. She was aware that she was blinking rapidly, she was aware that he wore a death scowl that threatened to dethrone her own ferocious one.

"Every single one of them" she said the words slowly and Jacob frowned further, only it was tainted with something… sad.

"You are loved Leah" he told her.

"Fuck you Jacob" she said, rising from the ground and walking away from him.

Xx~xx~xX

She hadn't stopped wondering about the Cullens and Angela Weber.

The details of that fateful day of the car crash were blurred and vivid at times but she refused to allow the influence of the tribe to distort the images further. She had seen and felt something strange and unnatural that day and she was going to hold onto it no matter what...

"It's all I have" Leah whispered into the cool air. She watched the hot cloud of her breath move into the chilly air before disappearing, wondering if she too would disappear in such a fashion one day. Half of her hoped she would... the half of her that was still so cowardly and timid.

Then there was this other side to her, this new side that had been awoken by the mishap of her crush falling in love with her cousin and vice versa. The side of her that had enough balls and guts to call Emily a whore and want to smash Sam Uley's face in.

The side of her that saw her marching towards her car, her day-planner tucked securely under her arm and heart racing because she was disregarding her family and going to Forks High. She was disregarding the tribe and continuing her job as a teacher so close and near to the dreaded _Cold Ones._

Xx~xx~xX

"...You are absolutely magnificent, Leah" Mr Grey told her, his large bony hand resting firmly on her shoulder. He shook her once more, willing her to give him her attentions but her eyes kept fleeting over to other distractions behind him-her eyes kept searching for Angela Weber or something pale and beautiful.

"To drive those kids away from such a scene as teenage drinking.." he went on and Leah suppressed an eye roll-Mr Grey, the art teacher was well known as a stoner and had very liberal views when it came to teenage drinking "The accident was unfortunate but I think you handled it pretty well. Magnificent! But I think you do need a few more days off. You look a bit shabby..."

"I am fine!" Leah snapped, removing Mr Grey's hand roughly and huffing, before swerving her swollen eyes at him-noting that he wasn't as tall as she used to think and snarling "Please get out of my way?!"

"Okay" he squeaked, cradling his hand to his chest as though it had been burnt and watching as the dishevelled young woman stormed up the corridor, snapping her head this way and that and grumbling to herself. "She is definitely on drugs!" Mr Grey shook his head self righteously before heading in his office for a smoke of something 'herbal'.

Xx~xx~xX

She tapped her fingers impatiently on the table, her eyes twitching to the door every time a student walked too closely by it. She thought it would be Angela, she thought it would be Edward... she _needed it _to be one of them. She needed something tangible and real that would let her know she wasn't insane and there were beings living in the grey area between natural and non-existent.

She was vaguely aware that she hadn't gotten around to being traumatised at knowing that vampires did exist. She would deal with that once she had formed a new safe haven from her fucked up life...

Right now, she wanted a safe haven and she didn't really care who that safe havens inhabitants were-if they were teenage girls involved with dead beings or said dead beings.

"It's that bad" she whispered to herself, laying her head on her folded arms "Vampires are better than my family right now..."

She closed her eyes and saw Sam-only he was looking at Emily with something so beautiful it hurt her horridly. She opened her eyes immediately and blinked the image away, trying to pull on anything and then groaning when all she could bring to the forefront of her mind were those dreaded eyes in that hated deathly pale face...

And as this image remained rooted behind her eyes, although it succeeded into pushing Emily and Sam's googly gazing-it scared her more than anything on God's green planet... and as this image stuck to the forefront of her reality-the door to the classroom opened and Edward Cullen walked in; tall, incomparably handsome and _pale and dead._

"Leah" his voice was soft and velvety but in Leah's terror of remembering the red eyed vampire-his voice seemed to boom and reverberate ferociously in the empty classroom so that she jumped back in her seat in trembling fright, her hands stretching out to grab the desk to stop her self from toppling over.

Behind him, Angela stumbled in, before closing the door carefully and standing unsure by his side.

"I am sorry I frightened you" Edward said slowly, his eyes staring right at her. She kept expecting them to turn red, she kept expecting his lips to quirk up into a cruel grin... but neither happened except for her own acknowledgement that he did seem genuinely sorry for startling her.

She flicked her eyes over at Angela and some part of her seemed shocked to see the girl still evidently human. Edward frowned unexplainably-a brief twitch of his glorious features before his hand shot down and held Angela's own hand. Leah looked away from this, reminded painfully of her cousin and Sam.

"Angela has been desperate to see you and Jacob" Edward said before Angela could speak, so that Angela was left gaping unsure mid thought. Angela frowned and turned her head sharply up to Edward, pouting. "Sorry, but you know you were going to stammer that anyway. Why not let me say it smoothly for you" Edward said cryptically and Angela sighed.

"I can only provide myself" Leah managed. She cringed back when her voice came out shaky. She cringed back when she realised exactly how terrified of Edward Cullen she actually was. "Jacob... I don't think you will get a chance to see him... again... Angela. But I can assure you that the idiot is well and recovered"

There was an awkward silence from Leah that Angela received uncomfortably, while Edward remained at ease standing and still.

"In fact..." Leah looked at her hands and scowled internally-they were dry and the nails dirty underneath. A wry thought popped into her head that these little things may have contributed to Sam choosing Emily-maybe she should have paid more attention to her looks...

She sighed and shook her head, gathering her thoughts before continuing "In fact, I don't think it is a good idea for either of you to think about going to visit Jacob on Quileute land"

"You know very well I don't go there" Edward said instantly.

"I know that... for certain, now" Leah said.

"Why?" Angela asked softly tugging at Edward's hand. "Edward, why?"

"I am a vampire, that's why" Edward said casually "What other reason could there be?" he looked intently at Leah as he said this which brought back Leah's initial fear of him.

"That's the only reason there ever was!?" Leah snapped, waving her hand at him rudely and vigorously "Angela... I won't interfere and I am grateful for Edward saving my life... and Jacob's grateful too even if Jacob is deciding to be a little lemming prick but..."

"Let me stop you there Leah because you are completely over stepping the line were your opinion does matter on my relationship with Edward..." Angela said dangerously softly and Leah shrunk back in her seat, never ever did she think there was this side to Angela... the side that had a backbone.

"It was all supposed to be myths" Leah whispered after a minute, looking back at her hands. "You know, inspiration to art... vampires aren't supposed to exists"

"And yet here we are" Edward said "Leah... you know the legends. You know you are not supposed to know this...?"  
>"Actually, I can know all of it..." Leah said before nodding her head over to Angela "It's the pale faces that aren't supposed to know. They are our legends, Quileute history..."<br>"Legends that you seem to only want to believe a _part of..._" Edward said stiffly.

"That's the only part that matters!" Leah snapped-torn between her fear of the vampire and general chary dislike of his arrogance. "Angela..." Leah said softly "I apologise... Edward is _your_ choice"

"And we are friends... surely?" Angela asked and Leah smiled-the movement stiff and foreign on her face.

"Friends" Leah agreed and her world seemed slightly less bleak suddenly.

Xx~xx~xX

"You went to Forks High school" Jacob kept up easily with her quick pace, grabbing her box of marking for her classes homework and filling her personal space with his suddenly big and intimidating form.

It wasn't a question, it wasn't even a statement... it was an _accusation._

"If you didn't get it the first time..." she sighed, avoiding eye contact with him and busying herself with the house keys, trying to ignore his body heat wafting over her left side "I meant it when I said fuck you, Jake. You really should listen to your dad... there is something perverse about me being a friend to you... age and such, Billy said...? But hey, it's okay if twenty something year old Sam hangs out with his son all day everyday..."

"We aren't friends, Leah" Jacib said and she paused her fiddling with the lock. She turned her head slowly to him and peered at his face. He didn't look fifteen going on sixteen... he looked fifteen turned twenty five. The one thing that stuck out on his face was how incredibly _not _Jacob he was... how dark his eyes seemed. How hard his once full grin had turned...

What was she thinking, he wasn't even grinning.

"So what do you want?" she sighed wearily, taking her box back when she had managed the lock. She stood in the doorway, blocking his entrance. He peered over her easily and took a step forward. She was forced to take one back. In two steps, he was in her house and she was holding her box like an idiot-like a _scared _idiot...

Who on earth was scared of little Jacob Black?

"I came to check on you, earlier" he said closing the door. The sound of it shutting scared Leah but she down played it, placing the box on the table and casually walking to the opposite side of the kitchen from Jacob.

"You... checking on me?" she half chuckled and half shrieked "Kid... you need to get your head examined"

"We know you saw..." he said softly and then stopped abruptly, cringing in pain. He took in a breath and looked at her indicatively, never finishing his sentence.

"We...?" she asked softly, twirling her hand for him to continue. She knew what 'we' meant almost immediately, but playing dumb gave her enough time to understand this grey area-this chaos in her that made her scared of 'little Jacob' and incapable of looking him in the eyes. She was afraid of him, she was angry at him... she missed him terribly but this Jacob standing in front of her made her realise that she missed the old Jacob and was also subsequently _mourning _his sudden death and resurrection into Sam Uley's little gang.

"You know what I mean" he scowled and she avoided looking at his face once more.

"Hmm" she responded after a second.

"It doesn't matter!" he said sharply and in a sudden turn, in a split personality sort of manner, he whispered softly and tenderly to her "Leah, it doesn't matter to me. I hate it"

She gulped, still not looking at him.

"Stay away from them if you can..." he said, his tone half soft now "And Angela. Stay away from her, she has made her choice and one day soon... she will pay"

"What are you and Sam going to do, huh Jacob?" Leah snapped abruptly "Throw an anti-Cullen bonfire in Angela the pale face's back yard and hope to convey how superior you are to the world?!"

"I don't even need to be here!"

"Then why are you?" she growled.

"Just... stay away from them!" he snapped after a minute, his face twisted into a hard mask.

"What will you do if I don't?" she demanded "Throw me out of the tribe?"

"You and I both know that would be nothing short of heaven for you!" Jacob laughed.

"Get out Jake" Leah said softly.

"Lee, I don't want you to hurt" Jake said, back to his enigmatic sadness.

"Out"

"You are loved" he said once more to her before shutting the door with such gentleness that the only tale of his departure was her sudden despairing loneliness.


	29. The Misery of Goldilocks

**THE MISERY OF GOLDILOCKS**

**Xx~xx~xX **

**X**

**x**

"Mum, I'm off…"

"Off, huh?" Sue Clearwater muttered disparagingly, turning around stiffly and flicking a goaded gaze at Leah. She glanced at Leah's book bag and then at the box that Leah carried awkwardly in her thin arms. It was seven thirty in the morning and Sue Clearwater had deliberately woken up extra early to intercept her daughter before she made her way to the other side of Forks-where _they _where.

"Mum, please…" Leah sighed wearily "This is my _job_… my future and I know you are scared of me leaving Forks but seriously? I cannot just quit because my _tribe _is prejudiced"

"Prejudiced, huh?" Sue drawled airily. Leah knew this game… it was the 'We are about to get into it' game and Sue was working Leah up to it slow and painfully. "Us idiot old folk, huh?"  
>"Mom… we already argued about this last night and I heard you then… but I am an adult now" Leah sighed, hefting the box of marked assignments and projects onto the kitchen counter. "You really want to do it in the morning too?"<p>

"I want to do it until you understand that your going to Forks High puts us all in a very precarious position, Leah… whether you believe that the Cullens are evil or not!" Sue hissed, whacking the sink with the dishcloth violently. Leah gulped down her fear of Sue, Leah reminded herself that she wasn't the awkward skinny girl afraid of her teenage classroom anymore… that she wasn't to be bullied out of her common sense.

Although, there was nothing common about what she was sensing in her life of current.

"I heard you speaking to the girl on the phone…" Sue began.

"You didn't over hear" Leah smiled derisively "You were eaves dropping, Mum"

"That girl has been dazzled Leah…" Sue said in a fearful tone "I can't have her lining you up for one of the other…."

"Mum…" Leah said cut her gently "I go there to teach. I am a teacher, and I will have interactions with my students…"  
>"Leah" Sue warned. "Why <em>that<em> girl then…?"

"She wanted to talk about the accidents" Leah said slowly, keeping her expression neutral. "That's all"

Sue raised an eyebrow, her own eyes narrowed and scrutinizing Leah.

"Mum, they have more than enough juicy maidens to quench on at the High School" Leah sighed eventually, forcing a smile and patting Sue's shoulder carefully "They wont worry or notice little old skinny me"

"Don't patronize me girl" Sue growled and Leah retracted her hand from her mother in fear. Anger and outrage flashed over Sue's eyes as she said "They are bon fire stories to you, but they are what we have kept sacred and hold dearly to our hearts. Do not give me your smart mouth_…_ keep it for your…. Students" Sue reached into her pocket for the car keys she had previously resolved to not give Leah "And just… stay away from the Cullens and that girl of theirs. I don't even mind if you look for something a little further in town… you need to get away from that school"

"Stay away from them Leah" Sue called as Leah drove out "You aren't safe when you leave the Reservation! We can't protect you…"

Xx~xx~xX

Who is we? Leah grumbled all the way to school.

Was it Sam? Was it Emily… who the hell was 'we' that _they _felt they were in charge of her life! This was more than just vampires for Leah-this was discovering she could have a separate life from the one she had had defined for her since birth. The life of a Quileute maiden in La Push…

"Marry Quileute guy and breed" she snickered "That's what they see when they look at me… a breeding horse. How dare she want to stray from the stables… she needs to stay put and get ready to be paired of with the best or at least, most willing stallion…"

It was absurd, she knew it; that she should have such petty matters on her mind when she had witnessed the impossible and interacted with the nonexistent. Maybe she was used to being in trauma now…

"Or maybe, vampires aren't that bad" Leah chuckled to herself, turning up the wiry stereo and trying to find relief in the fact that it was a rare day of sunshine in Forks, although the sky was littered with clouds. Leah thought it may rain later on in the day, and her day would be spent searching for patches of clouds that did indeed let in the required amount of sun… maybe she would host her class outside… "They definitely seem to keep to themselves unlike nosey family members. I think I don't mind a blood drinking unobtrusive relation to Old Quil "

She lowered the volume as she drove into school, parking the truck neatly and forcing herself to get into 'adult mode'. She took a deep breath in, chanting that it would be 'a good day' and opened the door…

"Leah!" she was attacked by Haley Finch, the admin secretary. Haley grabbed her arm, almost causing Leah to drop her box and hoisted her out of the car. "These kids…!"

"What!?" Leah frowned, placing her box in the back of the truck. She followed a waddling Haley through the cars and as they approached the front side of Forks High, were the students parked-she heard the yelling. "Cat fight…?"

"You know Angela…?" Haley asked "You were in the accident with her, weren't you?"  
>"Weber" Leah breathed. They rounded the corner and there they were; her least favorite students from Angela's class-Mike Newton, Jessica and Lauren…. All three of them standing with self righteous looks around a fuming red faced Angela Weber.<p>

"What's going on?!" Leah asked, pushing through some on-lookers. "Angela?"  
>"They…" Angela couldn't talk, occasionally pushing up her glasses. Her eyes were red behind the spectacles, her face flushed and lower lip trembling.<br>"They?" Leah asked turning around and raising an eyebrow at Jessica.

"Well, I know it was _her_… definitely" Lauren crossed her arms over her chest "She thinks that just because she is dating _Edward freaking Cullen_…"  
>"Is this what that is about!?" Angela yelled and Leah cut her with a soft "Calm down, Angela…"<p>

"Listen, could we take this in an office or…" Leah began; trying to shush Mike and Jessica's spurring of Lauren and simultaneously keep the audience as sparse as possible.

"You _silly_ little girl!" Leah and Hayley jumped at the sound of the saccharine growl while Lauren and her two advisors paled. "You will neither speak to her in that manner nor will you exact the pain of your shame over your aesthetic insecurities on _my _Angela…!"

Where it was that Edward had come from, no one knew, but to see the glorious Cullen standing in such a stunning wrath that sent a tidal wave of an cold queasy terror over the little perimeter of people-who had been previously eager for gossip-such a rigorous fear and dread as they had never know-so effective that it could have been bottled and sold as a paralyzing agent. Leah realized she was standing in front of poor Lauren and Edward kept inching forward; an errant thought flashed through Leah's mind to just grab the girl and give her to the vampire so Leah could carry on living but Leah held firm besides her trembling fear and instincts for self preservation.

"E….Edward" Leah knew she wanted to say more than that and that her voice was neither this small and she had overcome the stammer months ago… and it was just down right _embarrassing_ how she had choked the single word out for this seventeen year old boy… with dark ominous eyes and flaring pale nostrils and twisted lips revealing glistening perfect _sharp _teeth…

He looked like God's War Angel…! Surely a demon should look like a _demon_? Where were the horns, the red eyes and fangs… the boils and warts… the dreadfully revolting smells and sounds? Edward's beauty did not make him any less terrifying to Leah… as anything that she had seen in a mutant zombie alien flick.

"I had to endure her _spitting _and _lies_ for fifteen minutes…!" Edward snarled, all though his voice remained controlled; the sound of his anger coming out in such a velvety way made it all the more scary. Leah remained shielding Lauren… Lauren's hands winded around her waist, holding Leah firmly in place in front of her. "It was Isabella's own fault for having a police chief for a father. You cannot persecute Angela on the grounds that she was the first one to leave First Beach you _petty_…!"

"Yes, yes… petty girls but this is, in the end, is between us _teenagers_ so erm…?" Angela mumbled, peeking from behind Edward. Leah realized that Angela had been pulling and tugging at Edward's immovable hand the whole time, trying to pry her boyfriend from the scene "Edward… how about giving Leah some personal space and heading inside before the sun makes an appearance…. Err, you haven't exactly got sunscreen on and you know how _badly_ you sunburn…"

"Move away from her…!"a husky voice snarled and everyone jumped yet again, a few shrieks and yelps rebounding. By then, Hayley had disappeared from the scene and left Leah to the wolves.

"Edward… come on!" Angela insisted. Edward took two steps backward stiffly and turned his head slowly towards the sound of the man's voice-that Leah was deliberately ignoring, busying herself with calming Lauren down and sending all three students away.

"Seriously, there is nothing to see here and the bell just rang so move!" Leah yelled, waving her hands for the passerby's to continue walking. Their eyes kept darting from Edward refusing to be led away by Angela… to whom she knew to be Jacob Black behind her.

"You stay away from her…!" Jacob growled low and Leah took in a breath and turned around. It was ridiculous; Edward glaring at Jacob and oblivious to Angela's frustrated tugging and begging for Edward to go inside with her while Jacob stood tall and menacing by his bike, his hair had grown out and it whipped around his face violently, his muscles seemed to roll and tense under the black t-shirt he wore. The little _icky_ Jacob Black she would baby sit and gush to about Sam while he played with his ninja turtles… looked like the Terminator, Leah gasped internally.

"Gladly" Edward replied, finally moving a more considerable distance. "I have no problem or qualms with you…" Edward seemed to spit the words although their intent seemed to be to conveying civility.

"Well, I have _every_ problem with you leech… if you come near…her…" Jacob didn't finish, shaking his head and shivering lightly. Edward looked at Jacob warily then glanced at Leah.

"She's the one that sought us out… truly" Edward murmured moving back and leading Angela _finally_, into the school. "We don't want trouble and the treaty is still intact to my family"

"Family! Ha!" Jacob scoffed but Edward and Angela had disappeared inside. A few remaining students still looked over at Jacob in wonder and fear as they rushed in, and he made no move to leave.

"Fuck, Mr Grey" Leah groaned, watching as Hayley-who was prone to blow up an already combustive situation-walked with the thin Mr Grey towards her.

"Jacob" Leah said firmly "What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school… all the way _back _in La Push?"

"Maybe I wanted to transfer" Jacob's face was still hard, his eyes still glaring at the entrance of the school building although Edward was long gone.

"Is everything okay?" Mr Grey gave Jacob a once over, and Leah could see it in Hayley's eyes that she had already decided the lean fully muscled scowling boy-who looked like a man to everyone else, Leah suspected-was nothing but trouble in a tight t-shirt. "I heard Edward Cullen was here? He is an A student and likes to keep to himself so I knew there was injustice…"

Mr Grey trailed, eyeing Jacob with disapproval and suspicion "Son, you weren't bothering him were you? You don't look like you go to this high school…?"

He doesn't look like he should even _be_ in high school, Leah thought miserably, trying to spin out a lie for Jacob that would also help keep her job.

"No, he didn't err… cause the trouble" Hayley said quickly "Lauren… she is always bothering the other girls! She can be quite vicious…"

"Girls… of course… my apologies, son" Mr Grey sighed "Leah, are _you _okay?"

"My brother!" Leah blurted touching Jacob's arm then retracting her hand immediately when the heat from him shocked her "Err, brought me lunch. Sweet kid… eh?"

"I seem to have forgotten the lunch" Jacob said monotonously, still rolling off anger and aggression-Leah was starting to think this was his every day cologne.  
>"Kid brother, eh?" Mr Grey chuckled walking off. "Kid eats his spinach, that's for sure!"<p>

She waited for the car park to clear, the bell had already stopped ringing, before she rounded on Jacob.

"Why are you here?!" Leah hissed.

"Why were you talking to the Cullen?!" Jacob snarled back. "Do you know what you could have started between him and I? When I saw him… why would you do that, Leah?… why… what…? Which part of my almost dying failed to help you comprehend that they _aren't_ your friends!?"

"It was Edward who saved you, you ungrateful bozzo… or do steroids cause memory low?!" Leah leaned forward on her tiptoes and flicked Jacob's nose as hard as she could. He gave her no reaction and blinked at her, unimpressed and unmoved by her little display and reminder of how she would annoy him before he had received the extra few feet in height in the last month.

"You know what they are" Jacob stated "I know you do. And here you are… still…? Are you so eager to be away from us all? Is that it?"

"Go home, kid" Leah turned around, ready to walk away but he grabbed her hand. She tried to pull out of his grip, twisting and fighting until Jacob let her go, catching her shoulders instead and holding her firmly in place.

"I am not a _kid_, Leah… forget the seven year gap, it means nothing right now" his hot breath wafted over her face "And if you don't care about your life…well, I know those who do"

"She sent you here, didn't she?" Leah demanded, her eyes narrowed and lips twisted. He released her and walked away, heading for his bike. "Jacob, Sue sent you here didn't she?!"  
>"She suspected you knew that they are, like I suspected" Jacob swung a long leg over the bike and steadied himself "But no… she asked Sam… and he <em>ordered<em> me to find out if you did know"

"Don't tell Sam that I know" Leah whispered. "Don't tell them, Jacob… I don't want to be a part of that _secret circle crap_!"

"You aren't a part of it" Jacob sneered, closing his eyes momentarily "This is a bloodline and gender thing" he stopped shaking his head again, gripping the handles of the bike rigidly before looking up at her with such anger-he always carried that anger these days, Leah realized.

"They _love_ you" Jacob said it with a sneer which made the words seem twisted and deformed "They wanted to know it was at least safe enough here and I wanted to know too because I know how hard you worked to get this job. I guess…" he sighed again, briefly lowering his head and hiding his face from her behind the hair "I didn't mind being told to do it as a result but Leah… I can't hide the truth from Sam. I will tell him that you know what they are… and I will tell him that you've been communicating with Angela Weber… I could tell and Sue heard you on the phone… if you've been talking to her then it means you have been around the Cullen"

"If you tell him, he will tell my mother Jacob and if she knows that I knew about them and made her seem like an _idiot_ for believing while I was busy chitchatting with the Angela and subsequently… Edward …she won't forgive me!" Leah was late for her class but she couldn't care in that moment; let them chitter about their normal lives that were _their_ own. Her life had suddenly turned into the property of Sam and the Elders and she felt like dying over the fact.

"Sue won't understand…!" Leah insisted. "There would be nothing I could say to her…. Maybe if you ask Sam not to…"

"Sam will tell her and you will be dealt with Leah" he didn't seem apologetic, he seemed… angry still. Then it clicked in her mind; he would be angry, of course. In the end, she wasn't his friend was she…? In the end she was just like Angela… _dazzled_ by demons and enjoying _every_ minute of it.

"You fucker!" she hissed, the tears flowing "You stupid selfish fucker! Do you realize they will practically banish me?"

"I thought that was what you wanted in the end, Lee? To be away from us all…" Jacob scoffed, starting the bike. "I warned you, Leah… but hey, I am just a snot nosed _kid_ in the end…"

She watched him drive off, left shaking and trembling in panic, anticipation and misery. She already knew what to expect… God, she already knew…

Xx~xx~xX

She sat in her seat, glad that the rain had begun and oblivious and indifferent to the chaos in her classroom. She was staring unseeingly at her teacher's desk, burning a hole all the way to hell in it. Edward Cullen and Angela Weber were both in her classroom but she didn't care about this fact. She didn't care about _anything _right now… except for what it was she was in store for back on the Reservation.

"Edward…" Angela touched his cold arm and he gave the vampire equivalent of starting, he looked in surprise at the warm soft hand resting on his pale one. He smiled, it was silly of him to always be in a state of shock that Angela would touch him…"What's wrong… with her?"  
>"I thought you hated using my gift for evil?"<p>

"Is it evil to be concerned about a friend?"  
>"If you didn't quite recognize Jacob Black's yapping and barking for what it was…" Edward said in a soft contempt that Angela knew was reserved for the <em>unrecognizable <em>sunshine filled Jake and unconnectedly the _mysterious_ feud between the Quileute and Cullen vampires "He doesn't want us talking to Leah"

"Since when is Jacob Black the _boss_ of anything"

"Well, actually… it seems he has a _boss_" Edward murmured "And his boss and Leah's mother both agree that she should have nothing to do with us"

"Jacob is going to school and working?" Angela's eyes widened.

"I have my doubts about the education part of it… but he is _practically _fully employed"

"That's harsh of his dad!"  
>"It's a dog eat dog world in some families"<p>

"Why do you seem to be… enjoying this?" Angela frowned, trying to pinch Edward and opting to just twist and tug at his index finger as hard as she could. He watched her do this in fascination before taking his hand away-the sensation bringing forth the reminder of how she had looked on the bed, how she had reacted when he had kissed her… there.

He coughed and Angela looked at him suspiciously.

"We are coughing now?" Angela cocked an eyebrow.

"I am glad _you_ can't read _my _mind!" Edward laughed. "And…yes. Vampires can cough… when they want to"

"You aren't bothered by this?" Angela demanded, glancing at a despondent Leah "Leah is our friend…"  
>"This is precisely were you got it wrong with Jessica and Lauren too!" Edward sighed, rolling his dark eyes "They aren't <em>my friends <em>and some of them don't even consider you _their friends _Angela love…!"

"But Leah considers me her friend" Angela whispered. "And… she… err… might like you more if you tried?"

"Yes well, I wasn't trying because of the whole 'her tribe hates me' thing" Edward said slowly, almost in a confessional manner "It would have been easier if Leah could have been more petty and as dull minded as most human's are…"  
>"Wow, talk about prejudice…" Angela breathed wearily. "How bad is it, Edward… just tell me that one thing?" Angela insisted "You could tell me that, then it's not like I pried into deep into her mind too…"<br>"_Bad_" Edward said stiffly, all humor and ease gone (that had come swiftly after Lauren had been sent to the principle's office with Edward muttering that the justice system in Forks High was world class…). Angela had laughed internally that Edward didn't even seem perturbed when she had shouted at him (well, she _spoke_ in a _firm_ tone…) that he was not to hang around in woods just watching her and where did he get off waiting for the sun to be blocked so he could fight her battles for her? Why, if he were having a fight with a vampire… would he want her to jump in?

"Bad" Angela echoed the word in a hollow tone "She just wanted… friends. Why can't she and I be friends? Why do they hate you so much…?"

"Because I am a vampire, Angela… a fact you seem intent on forgetting" Edward said softly "Because they are smart and careful and want to protect their homes… and it seems, they all have a long memory and things that should have ended so long ago are still up and about and sniffing all over the _goddamned_ place…"

"Hmm" Angela mused already half listening to Edward's unclear rant that she knew he would never explain. A minute passed and Edward tensed.

"You can _call_ her" he said dangerously low "There is no need for you to go and see her on the Reservation when you can pick up your phone and _call_ her. That was what you two had been doing all along…?"

"Is that another sanction…?" Angela challenged. "I won't fly off with the wind if you remove your arms from around me Edward, good heavens… so what if Jacob is all…err…"  
>"Muscled" Edward rolled his eyes at her thoughts and Angela smiled sheepishly, pushing her glasses up nervously "Regardless, you have no need to go there"<p>

The bell rang and Angela sighed, picking up her bag before Edward could get to it and shuffling from behind the desk.

"Le…err, Ms Clearwater?" Angela murmured as she passed Leah's desk. Leah gave no reaction save for dropping her head in her hands. "Leah…!" Angela hissed touching Leah's arm and looking over at Edward in apprehension. Edward only shrugged, sure to catch Mike Newton's eye when the boy was passing him and growling deliberately low enough so it was only Mike who heard.

The boy jumped and ran out of the classroom and Edward nodded to himself in satisfaction.

"Angela…" Leah kept her face hidden in her hands. "I am too tired. Enough"

"Enough?" Angela asked.

"This" Leah removed her hands and Angela looked into the sad Quileute woman's red rimmed eyes "We had our adventure, didn't we?" Leah smiled weakly "But this… you can't be a part of even if I wanted you to be. This is all me. So, don't worry about it. Enough"

"I am truly sorry, Leah" Edward said softly " Who knew how meticulous and valued your tribe kept their history and laws?"

"I knew that being in any form of contact with a Cold One would be received harshly, thanks to my mother" Leah muttered "I didn't need to know any laws or other histories. And don't give unwarranted credit Edward… there is nothing meticulous about that history! It begins as a long windy tale about spirit people and ships and they got only one thing right; _you_, vampires"

"I am not giving unwarranted credit" Edward said.

"Whatever" Leah waved her hand "Just… go. Carry on with your living…or death"

"Bye Leah" Angela whispered "And I am not going to give up on talking to you just because Jacob says so…"

"Right" Leah grimaced. "It isn't Jacob's 'say so', it's the whole damn tribe…"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

The meeting, or was it _intervention_, was as bad as it could be. There were vampires… vampires existed…

And there was their tribe who did everything they could to have nothing to do with the demons and there she was entertaining them. There she was, Sue Clearwater's awkward strange daughter with the stammer and gangly limbs who no man had an interest in so she threw herself into books and graduated way too early and had way too many dangerous dreams…

"Leah…" her father sighed. "Please, don't do this?"

Her mother was still at the meeting. Sam and the elder's had not reached a conclusion about what to do with Leah; had she been dazzled? Was she a threat to others now…? Would she go to the Cullen's yet again… and Sue was there, caught in between…

"I can't…" Leah insisted "Your _wife_ has been as cold and hard as…well, a vampire… ever since Seth died…"

"You have to understand now?" Harry shook his head "It was a vampire attack on Seth. Your mother…"  
>"How sure are you?" Leah asked, pursing her lips and holding her tears in. She was saving that for the walk… when she would be alone. "You saw the bites? Seth had no blood in him…? Because if that's how my brother died then good God, you could have told me that…! That's something you tell… tribe laws and shit be damned!"<p>

"Leah…" was all Harry Clearwater could manage.

She was done packing. She sniffed once and blinked back the tears before parting with her father with a "Don't worry… I'll be sure not to end up at the dreaded _Cullens_"

He let her go, she knew he would. Harry Clearwater had always been the one person in her corner.

Xx~xx~xX

She kept telling herself it was _nothing_; she could overcome this in the end…

"I can't believe her!" Leah hissed into the air, lugging her bag with a bit of effort. Her tears mingled with the rain, her misery blended in with the dark night and her anger flashed with the lighting, it growled with the thunder…

She couldn't believe Sue Clearwater… at the same time, she did. She knew her mother; hard as nails Sue who took no nonsense from anyone… not even her _child_. What Leah found slightly strange and simultaneously wondrous about her mother was that Sue Clearwater had not _once _refuted the legitimacy of their legends as actual fact. Sue Clearwater believed there were demons amongst them, vampires, without ever once encountering one…

She took the words of the long dead ancients to heart and ran her hatred for the Cullens and anything to do with the Cullens with the fuel from these scrolls and recordings; they were pale, their eyes changed color and they were sinfully beautiful. It was enough, for Sue, that the old and dead-the ancient and _illiterate-_had said this and had believed this.

"No daughter of hers will shame her in that manner… shame the memory of Seth!" Leah sneered, rolling her eyes and scowling-imitating her mother badly. "Jacob will _pay_…" she was talking to herself, trekking along the road wet and shivering, homeless and _pissed as hell._

If Jacob Black now thought that a little height and muscle had turned him into the unofficial Quileute Police and thus, Leah's own personal 'trigger happy' snitch, then by God… he best believe that he was going to house her until she figured something to do.

"I will not be stuck in La Push for the rest of my natural life so I can be known as 'the one who danced with vampires'" she was shivering and cold, but not nearly half frozen as she thought she should be. The rain was turning icy, the clouds so dark and menacing they seemed to be descending onto earth. She knew Billy would still be at the meeting, and the only person from Sam's steroid gang present had been Jared.

She was resolved. Morning light, she will get her pay…or at least when ever Forks High could begin processing it… and get on the road. Leah Clearwater of La Push would be no more… she walked the remainder of the way musing on new names; Leah Clearwater of California… of Texas…

"Hell…" she stammered "Leah Clearwater of Paris sounds good to me too"

Xx~xx~xX

She hefted the bag up the porch, now shivering uncontrollably and so frozen that she could distinctly feel the heat from her beating heart inside her chest. She coughed once and wiped her face, pushing her dripping hair back and squeezing the water out. She braced herself, peeping through the window first and frowning when every light was turned off inside the Black house.

She thumped on the door, and peeked again, cupping a section of the window and squinting through the darkness, praying for a light to flick on. Nothing. She was cold, upset and in a weird surreal motion. She thumped for five minutes, punched for three minutes and kicked and whacked at the door for another half an hour but nothing happened.

"Fuck!" she yelled, kicking the door one last time. She peered into the house again, in case Jacob was lurking in the shadows and knew it was her but was being his new and hated ass self. She could see nothing but dark shapes on top of other dark shapes. She had warmed a little from all her door knocking tactics and the thought of entering the rain to go round the house to Jacob's bedroom window…

The thought of being extra cold again, almost trumped her misery at her muddled life.

"Like I have choice" she sighed, jumping into the rain and shivering almost immediately. She wound her arms around her body and tripped all the way to Jacob's window. She tapped on it shakily and nothing happened. She was tempted to head-butt the pane but then had the grand idea of just trying to open it. It gave in on one little tug, and the warmth and stuffiness of Jacob's room wafted over her face. She grinned feverishly and began removing her soggy shoes, throwing them in before hoisting herself up and tumbling inside Jacob's room.

She landed on his bed and immediately realized the small thing was empty…

"And unmade!" she scowled. No one was home and she had just intruded the Black house on top of conversing with a Cold One's… err, Angela? Did they truly _have _girlfriends or was Sam right… they were gong to either bite the poor girl or kill her…? Leah wondered while searching for the light switch on the wall. In truth, she didn't think any of the elders' theories on Edward Cullen's interest with Angela Weber were true…

It seemed to Leah at times, that it was _Edward_ that was bedazzled by Weber.

The light was dim and warm… and Jacob's room was tiny and a mess. She scowled at it in disdain and walked out, heading for the front door. She dragged her bag in, now extremely exhausted after seeing the promise of a bed, and was sure to erase all evidence that there had been an intruder as best as she could… she would guilt Jacob into his silence…

"Smells funky" Leah curled up in the sheet, dressed in Jacob's large sweater and shorts, her hair dried and bushy. She was back to upset and miserable… but now, exhaustion had crept in easily "Couldn't even own a blanket? Stupid _Black_…" she muttered before falling into a dreamless sleep.

Xx~xx~xX

"NghOOOOWWwwww!" Leah howled in pain and shock and while Jacob yelped in surprise. He jumped from the bed immediately, caught between letting the heat tremors spread through his body or just wrestle the intruder.

Leah rose up in pain, rubbing her side and shivering. She knew it was Jacob, and she concluded he had let himself in through the window like she had-hence him landing heavily on top of her. She scowled at his silhouette closing the window immediately and when lightning flashed outside and spread light in the room, she gasped.

"You little creep!" Leah yelped, spinning around and facing the wall "You are naked? Why are you naked when you are coming from the cold wet and _freezing _outside?!"

"Why are you in my room…!?" Jacob yelled back, grabbing the sheet and wrapping himself in it until only his head and feet were visible. "Why are you in my jumper? What the hell is going on…oh God!?"

"Argh…!" Leah covered her eyes with her hands and made for the light switch carefully, feeling all over the wall for it and flicking it on slowly when she found it. She turned around slowly and kept her hand firmly in place. "Have you covered your….err…_self_?" she asked timidly.

"Yeah!" Jacob was still yelling "Why are you here Leah…? Why? I am so _confused_...? Is this… a… pass or…?"

She removed her hand and stared at Jacob dubiously. "You think I am in your bed to wait for you so… what? You can lose your virginity?"

"You are in my bed and wearing my jumper… what else am I supposed to think?" Jacob awkwardly pointed at her while keeping the sheet fastened around him with both his hands. He raised an eyebrow "Are you wearing anything under that…?"

"No… I…you!" she pointed at him, rubbing her puffy swollen eyes "I am in your bed because you told on me, you idiot and now I am homeless!"

Jacob remained silent for a minute, his expression relaxing and comprehension filtering into his gaze.

"You had the tribal meeting…" he sighed. "Right… I was busy patr…I was busy" he finished lamely.

"Yeah" Leah tried to remember her initial anger at Jacob but as she looked at him now in the light, she couldn't hold on to it; he was tired and worn, the bright green sheet held around him as though it were a _beloved_ blanky. "I am the worst Quileute in history… apparently"

"Oh, they didn't say _that_?" Jacob murmured, his lips twitching into a little smile.

"They acted like I had fallen in love with a vampire… when all did was talk to Angela…" Leah murmured "Could I help it if Edward would be there?"  
>"Yeah, you could" Jacob said "You could have not been there too"<p>

"You don't get it?" Leah sighed.

"What, I am just a kid?" he chuckled, shifting from foot to foot and glancing at a crusty empty chair in the corner. "My shorts had been on that chair… so erm, I think you are wearing them…?"  
>"You own <em>one<em> pair of shorts?" Leah raised an eyebrow.

"Well after the others ones were err… ruined an hour ago… yeah, I do" Jacob said sheepishly. "Well, are you wearing my shorts… under my… jumper or…"

The jumper came up to Leah's knees and the shorts… it was her way of trying to get warm after all her clothes had been soaked through the bag.

"Have your damn shorts" Leah took the shorts of petulantly, thanking God she had kept her knickers on "And try wearing a diaper if you're going to have so many accidents. Poor Billy can't spend his money buying you clothes"

She flung the shorts at him, and besides the fact that both his hands were occupied with keeping the sheet around him… he caught them easily.

"Err, churn around den" Jacob said with a mouth full of his shorts.

"Eh?"

"CHURN!" he commanded, dropping the sheet half way down and exposing his upper body. Leah jumped and spun around, gulping.

"Done" Jacob announced.

"Don't tell me this is your _only_ sweater?" Leah asked, pulling at the sweater.

"You can keep that, I don't need it" Jacob sighed, sitting on his bed. She curled in the middle and he handed her the sheet "I am sorry I was cruel today, at Forks High. That _Cullen _being so near you…"

"Well, I am not sorry… _mostly_. I don't want to talk about it" Leah sighed. "Why do you have just this sheet and what the hell happened to the heating in this house?"

"I don't get cold" Jacob stated sleepily. "I'll go sleep on the couch, then"

"NO!" Leah grabbed his shoulders as he got up and he let her force him into sitting back down, stiffening until she removed her hands "I mean… no. Billy will ask you why you are on the couch and then you would have to tell him because we know how bad a secret keeper you are… and well, I don't want Sue to know. I would like for her to worry and be a mother for a good day or two before I tell her I am…err, fine"

She thought it a good idea to _not _tell Jacob-the bipolar snitch-that she was leaving and probably never coming back.

"I can only keep that a secret for a day…"

"Oh, Jacob… are you so eager and happy to be a fucker all the damn time?" Leah frowned at him and he looked into her eyes intently and pursed his lips together.

"Okay, I'll try… I'll try Leah" he sighed "Man, you don't know how hard it is hiding stuff from the guys and Sam…"

"What, are you all like so bonded and connected and braid each others hair?" Leah scoffed, ruffling Jacob's long black hair and frowning when she realized her own hair was probably a bushy mass on her head…

"Something like that" Jacob sighed before yawning and looking at the floor. "I definitely can't fit the length of the floor…"

"Sleep under the bed if you like" Leah sighed, shivering lightly and making sure the window really was closed.

"Move" Jacob yawned again.

"You must be out of your goddamned mind after the day, no… month I have had….!" Leah began but Jacob sighed impatiently and nudged her shoulder gently and she toppled to the one side of the bed.

"G'night Lee" he murmured, curling into a fetal position and squashing her against the wall with the motion. "You're like a… escaped convict or something…" he mumbled sleepily "Cool"

"And you are so…so…" she tried to push against his back and gave up, resting her head on it in defeat in the end "Hot…?"

"Knew you noticed" Jacob chuckled "Sweet dreams"

"Shut up, Black and don't you dare dream about me in your sweater"

"Wouldn't dream about it… the sweater that is"

**Authors **_**rather long **_**Note:**

**I am bad with responses, I know and I am very much ashamed…(hides) and sorry and will be extra vigilant now… especially as I am on holiday. Hence the updates increasing… I have a little idea of were this is going, very slim… that would explain why They Set out to Fight Love gets quicker updates than this… I would love some theories! They help, trust me…**

**This is a romance about Edward and Angela and I do want it to be epic in length but I thought there should be other stronger characters with their own tenacity, while we find some trouble for Angie and Eddie? I had a little problem with Jacob when people write about him or even in Twilight… he is fifteen right… whether he is imprinted to Renesme or paired off with Leah in the end… he is fifteen and age, believe it, matters a lot-especially since Leah is slightly older than in Twilight in here. So Blackwater fans (and there are many), be prepared for a slow pace… or at least, lots of tension and what not. I won't do the immediate "Hey, you're hot… I am hot… lets get it on!" thing. Well, I never do… but anyway.**

**Okay, from ****Fifty Shades of Gold****… I agree, there should have been a morning after chapter. I think I kind of did that chapter in my mind (as in I had been thinking about As I Am for so long…) and then well, skipped it. I may do a little chapter on that… it may be short… if there are many who feel cheated of that?**

**I wont be posting the sequel to this story in a separate 'story', depending on how long this will be and if fanfic would allow for a billion chapters in a story. Lol.**

**Hoping to hear your thoughts, theories, likes and dislikes… (I will fix that desert dessert thing in the earlier chapters.. typo). To everyone who got the alerts for this story initially and those who managed to read some of it…**

**I removed it… there was some scenes and dialogues that just… well… didn't satisfy me. I apologize…**

**Xx**

**TJ**


	30. Misadventures of Little Red Riding Hood

**THE MISADVENTURES OF LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

When she awoke from her restless sleep, he was already gone. There was a distinct chill all over her body to tell of how Jacob had spoilt her through the night. The sheet was tangled with her legs but it failed to cover the rest of her body and the curtains were slightly open so a slither of fresh morning light crept through the room and clumsily lined itself on the wall opposite the window.

Her heart was racing and for a second this confused her, but then she remembered the nightmare; it was like caffeine warding off the fatigue of her body. She had dreamt of their legends and their myths-and of Edward Cullen.

She got up from the soft bed shakily and made her way to the door with equal instability, taking a moment to feel if her clothes had dried on her way. She was listening for Billy... waiting on the sound of his wheel chair moving over the unvarnished timber floor, maybe a cough, a snort, an out of tune hum... _anything._

Nothing came, so Leah stepped out of Jacob's room and moved deftly to the kitchen. It was there, on the kitchen wall above the counter-unassumingly white with a cheap cord dangling off it and the receiver dirty. She took it in her hand and pressed it to her ear and punched the numbers in-she remembered them off heart by now-and waited anxiously for _her _to pick up. She couldn't stop glancing about the house, out the window, expecting Billy Black's truck to come roaring to a stop in front of the house with all the Quileute's inside it holding pitch forks (why they would fit in Billy's truck, was besides Leah... but they just _would_, because she was that afraid).

"Hello" a little boy asked on the other end of the line and this was met by a gentle reproach moments later. Leah was impatient with the cute 'sibling stuff'; she didn't have much time for either a phone call or even to remain in Forks.

"Angela speaking?" Angela breathed into the speaker finally.

"It's Leah" she told Angela "I need to speak with you..."

"Of course!" Angela replied instantaneously.

"I..." Leah paused, her nerves harassing her thoughts into disarray. She tried to remember something vital from the nightmare, from the dark terrifying scenes from her dream "You don't get it" she rubbed her forehead roughly, swallowing her anxiety and misery "This isn't some adventure... this isn't a 'wondrous' bit of excitement for your naive teenage life. This is _my_ _whole_ _life_, Angela"

"I get that" Angela sighed "More than you know, Leah"

"No you don't!" Leah's anger flared against the unravelling of her emotions. She had succeeded for too long, since Seth's death and since... since Sam but now... there were vampires and she had two choices; remain the unforgivable member of her society or run. Unfortunately, it had been easier the previous night... to pack up and go...

But in the morning, awakening in a mannish boy's bed without the sound of her mother making her breakfast downstairs... she realised what she was going to sacrifice because of things that really shouldn't be a part of her world. A part of _any_ world...

"No, you don't understand... Angela..." she trailed off softly after a tensed moment of uneven breathing.

""What do you need, Leah?" Angela asked in an odd soft and yet unyieldingly resolved manner. "Leah, tell me what you need so I can help you get to it"

"I need..." it terrified Leah that she didn't quite know how to put detail to her needs... so she started where it hurt the most, and braved that pain of the truth to do with her oncoming permanent loneliness "I need my family but I have lost them with everything. All I have is my pay at Forks High... and then I can leave. That's what's left for me I guess, if I ever want to be..."

Was happy what she would be if she left? Here it was, the opportunity with every sanctimonious excuse to it and yet it couldn't conclude to 'happiness'. It would make a very good angst story when she was withered and old, to some poor nurse in an old people's home though...

"Do you want to leave?" Angela asked. The way the girl spoke to her reminded her of the time she had challenged her on Edward-that surprising passion that sprung out of nowhere. It was reserved or the most important things in Angela's life, this Leah knew. She hated that Angela was giving her a bit of that passion... she didn't want it. Or maybe she did, but she wanted it from her mother...

"I may not have a choice" Leah whispered in fear. "Be careful what you wish for, they say..."

"There is always a choice"

"The choice I could ever hope to argue for... died with the legends and myths"

"But wasn't it you who said that myths are nothing but history for your tribe with everything that is going on...?" Angela said "Leah... can you make it to school?"  
>"No, I have no car..."<br>"And my house?" Angela asked "I would have picked you up from there but..." Angela paused, sighing out an indicative "Edward"

"I'll make it to your house... I am pretty fast on my feet" Leah said quickly, already mapping out the route in her mind "But no _vampire_"

"No _Edward_" Angela corrected.

Xx~xx~xX

"He didn't believe me at first..." Angela was saying, oddly checking her rear-view mirror "I am really surprised he isn't tailing us... probably Alice told him off for being so controlling."

"No offense, but no 'Edward' talk" Leah grumbled, sure to turn the name 'Edward' into an undesirable sounding word "Especially seeing as my life is ending before it has begun"

Angela nodded her head in understanding, remaining silent then.

"I just need my pay..." Leah was mostly talking to herself at this point, her panic and fear from the early morning prickling inside her heart "Then I'll come up with something more realistic..."

"Dealing with realism in this mythical life of ours, Leah?" Angela asked, wary of the thin slightly gaunt volcanic Leah beside her "Not very..."

"Realistic!" Leah slapped her hand hard on the dashboard, startling Angela into a small swerve of the car.

"Leah..." Angela spoke slowly, parking the car in front of the Forks High offices "I am a little confused?"  
>"Mythically" Leah murmured, fever in her large eyes and lips ashen and trembling with excitement "I can't have my judgement served to me by people who weren't even there during the establishing of the laws! I need the true tribe..."<p>

"What?" Angela blinked in confusion.

"I'll get the pay, regardless..." Leah opened the car door "And you may need to miss a day of school Angela... we're going to play archaeologists"

"This is all so sudden...?" Angela began.

"The best ideas normally are..."

"Yes, the ones that are sprung up" Angela smiled "That way, the future is free of any eavesdropping tittle-tattlers"

"Not going to pretend to know what you are talking about" Leah shut the door "I got too much on my mind to worry if _Edward _is letting you walk around with a litre of blood missing from your blood stream!"

Xx~xx~xX

"I can't tell you everything" Leah said, putting her money away after the final third count.

"Tribe Laws" Angela guessed and Leah nodded her head.

"If the Cullens _are_ the original Cold Ones..." Leah spoke in her airy tone, the way she spoke when she had an audience of one and herself to convince of something vital "Then I can plead my case with the original Quileute... the ones that made the treaty with the Cullens"

"What makes you sure they are still around?"  
>"Because the Cullens are still around" Leah said softly "Why wouldn't they be? Why else would the Cullens abide by the laws of the treaty if they weren't around...?"<br>"Maybe because the Cullens are _good_" Angela said tetchily.

"Good?" Leah raised an eyebrow.

Angela chose to ignore this and went ahead with their conversation quickly before Leah could branch it off on the 'goodness' of 'vampires' "The Cullen's are immortal vampires, Leah... they _would _be around"

"Well, the original Quileute of this land that made the treaty with the Cold Ones..."

"Cullens" Angela corrected touchily.

"...were not ordinary" Leah chose to ignore this and kept the pace of the conversation "Maybe _they_ kept _their_ way of life and just strollabout hidden in the woods... and only recently have they been in touch with the tribe... why else would Sue believe the legends so vigorously after decades of being slightly hesitant on her standing with them?"

"Because she saw a Cold One?" Angela breathed, taken in by Leah's words but aware that she could ask no further on the secret Quileute Legends that non-Quileute members of the world were not privy to.

"We all saw a 'Cold One'" Leah scoffed "Hell, Isabella Swan could be a Cold One with the way she is so pale and personality deceased. It's the lack of..." Leah moved her fingers in circles over her face and puckered "You know, _looks and grace..."_

"She's pretty enough?"

"You are defending her after you were almost beaten up because of her?" Leah raised an eyebrow, shaking her head "You need help. Your boyfriend is a vampire and you have a Ghandi complex!"

"Back to the legends I will never know about" Angela grumbled discomfited.

"A Cold One can look like a human... I mean, especially now with all the pale faces meandering about our lands...getting paler and... more dull and lifeless... and you have the plastic surgery at half price on Tuesdays..."

"Err, harsh Leah?"

"I wouldn't believe Edward was a blood sucking ancient dead creature unless I _saw_ him being a blood sucking ancient dead creature!"  
>"Leah, could you tone your prejudices down a bit..." Angela sighed wearily, absently overtaking a car only to slow down in front of it-they were not certain as yet on what plan of action they were taking.<p>

"Sue didn't _see_ a vampire being a vampire!" Leah laughed, slapping her thigh "Nor did Jacob, he was unconscious for the most part of that little show... that silly over muscled, too hot brat..."

"You think Jacob is hot?"  
>"Ew, <em>focus<em> Angela" Leah admonished "I meant that he is literally hot... you know... temperature wise. I didn't even need blankets when I slept with...err, where was I?"  
>"Jake's fifteen?"<br>"Oh, yes..." she ignored Angela "They didn't see a vampire, so they must have seen an actual... Quileute of Old. The elders probably just hid them away in the woods, feeding them wrong information about poor Leah being a trouble making stammering nitwit..."

"Poor twenty two year old _nitwit_ Leah slept with hot fifteen year old Jacob?" Angela barely opened her mouth as she said the words.

"Not in that sense...!" Leah gasped "I ran off from home... and I figured he tittle-tattled so he owed it to me to house me, and he refused to give me his bed and I... was too tired to argue and he just got really big overnight... He is a kid, Angela and I babysat him. Seriously?"  
>"Just making sure"<p>

"You done with the suspicion?" Leah asked and Angela nodded brusquely "Okay then, I think the truth about the legends is hidden in the forests"

"The forests?" Angela asked.

"He may have said something...?" Leah turned fully to face Angela and narrowed her eyes "Did _Edward_ ever say anything about the first time he was here?"

"No, he really tries to keep his and Carlisle's promise to your tribe..." Angela sighed "He is very vigilant with that"

Leah sat back in her seat defeated and stared out to the whizzing trees of Forks, wondering exactly which one of their supposed ancestors still had the audacity to live and lurk in the shadows of present day. The woods were expansive enough that any fable could live in those shades, under those thick canopies and behind the large barks... would she ever find them? Possibly the place where the treaty was made...?

"The only thing I know of their first visit..." Angela said after a moment of silence, startling Leah out of her gloomy musings "Is the meadow"

"Meadow?"  
>"It's magical" Angela said bashfully, the memory of the meadow evidently enchanting her away from their reality. "He said it was a no-man's land, dead and dry... and he revived it when he came back and found it empty... empty from... of <em>course<em>"

"And magic is what runs through the blood of our tribe" Leah quoted Old Quil "Empty... without the inhabitants he had first encountered there... so he claimed it. Maybe, they have taken it back..."

"Leah, maybe we need to be a little realistic about this?"  
>"Realism in this mythical world, Angela?"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

They drove in silence, each young woman lost in her musings and oblivious to how these mythologies and legends they were running to, and from... would bind them for longer than life itself. Angela mused on the beauty of the meadow, ignoring her vibrating phone...

She had been there recently, for a second time and she doubted they would find any Indian's of old strolling around... but she had to ease Leah's agitation on the topic somewhat. Maybe the beauty of the meadow would heal her, enchant her into happiness as it seemed to do to all who entered it. It had its own magical spell that it cast freely, and it somehow found a way of revealing the hidden nature of things that passed through it; as it had forced Edward to reveal his nature to her, that first time with James the red eyed demon.

And Edward's nature had simply been that he was a fallen angel who was prone to brooding and gracious arrogance. He was a fallen angel, and he had been and was from that day onwards... entirely hers.

Xx~xx~xX

She hated that her mind had wandered rudely to a corner to its own corner bliss when Leah wouldn't stop harassing her forehead with the heel of her hand in trepidation and misery. Angela wished she could give all her feeling towards this-but Leah was right in that regard, she was nothing but a teenager with a conscious and an unfortunate attention span of a fruit fly when it came to Edward Cullen... and so it sneaked into her mind as she tried to recall the direction of the hiking trail to the meadow...

That first day after he had kissed her _there_, her first intimacy with any man-for he was a man to her and hers alone... that moment, when she knew unreservedly that Edward Cullen would do strange and terrifying things in his love for her, and that he did in fact find _her_ dangerously beguiling...

And unfortunately that was for both him and the monster inside him, as they were hidden in the woods... were enchanted creatures shimmered and disappeared.

The woods were their home... she thought.

Theirs...

Xx~xx~xX

_**A week and a few days prior...  
><strong>_

She just had to be asleep and this had to be the sweetest dream.

The warmth was surreal, she was soaring in it… she was swallowed completely by it. The zenith of contentment she was in was impossible to reach in the waking world, the odd ache in her limbs was wonderful… her mind had not a thought, just his face and it was glorious as it always was when she looked upon it; no need for enhancement even in her dreams because he was a walking impossibility in realism as it was.

"Mhmm" that was her murmur, she knew that. She peeked her eyes open and gold sunlight streamed from somewhere far, she couldn't quite tell. Her vision was blurry. She didn't know where she was, why she was not in her room and in her bed… she thought about panicking but the feeling she was enraptured by negotiated with her, and haggled her out of alarm.

She didn't know what the day was, she didn't know whether she was supposed to be at school or whether she was late… wasn't she supposed to make breakfast? Ah, breakfast could make itself for all she cared! The day, her normal life… everything, heavens… the world could take care of itself today while she just lay in the foreign cocoon and never moved again!

So she lay there, motionless and thought about her journey to this small wondrous heaven. She remembered begging him to hold her, she remembered him negotiating to hold her in the thick blankets instead of what it was she truly wanted; to feel his arms around her, for their skin to be in constant contact as she fell into sleep.

She giggled lightly.

He had carefully wrapped up her nakedness, without ever looking at her. She would harass him about this later on, with no other purpose save to see a vampire blush-or Edward's uneasy and yet adorable performance of bashfulness (could there be a word as mutinous as 'adorable' to describe Edward Cullen? Was his _adorableness_ better described as passionately besotting _diffidence_? Was it for her eyes only…?)

She hoped it was for her eyes only…

And suddenly, she hoped it were only her eyes that had ever seen that from Edward. She hoped, wished, wanted, prayed, begged… that her eyes only had witnessed every flashing grin, ever cocky smirk and every nervousness.

Like how his eyes had darted everywhere when they both realized she was still naked, before the blanket wrapping had pulled his every attention… how those eyes had darkened somewhat, how they had widened and then softened and smouldered. She thought she had liked this reaction more than what was morally necessary…

He had murmured about his mother to her, Esme. Then Elizabeth… the long gone. Then his human father, and on this he had been uncomfortable… his voice had wisped and it had been honey and hot cotton and she had drifted on it like a leaf, just like he had intended. She had forced herself awake after all, when she had safely drifted into sleep when he had gone for his swim…

She deserved to be lulled asleep, such insolence to want more when he was convinced he could give nothing; to be insatiable, greedy for _more_ of him. His face, his eyes, his voice, his hair…!

"His _everything_" Angela murmured to herself, snuggling further into her cocoon.

The memories played out; she blushed, she flushed, she heated up and cooled off… and then came the soft knock that sent her addictive complacence to the bed flying off and in its place came a sudden blow of jumpiness…

The irrefutable angel himself was at the other side of the door, while she was replaying his blazing cold tongue on her. She sat upright immediately, spine rigid and eyes wide on the door.

"Angela…" his voice was just loud enough to reach her ears and soft enough that she suspected he had joined her in her little exploration into the _last_ twenty four hours of her life.

"I… err…?" she blinked and realized she most definitely was not on the bed. She was on the couch… and the space where the bed had been was preoccupied with Edward's work station filled with CDs, books and files-as if the bed had never entered the room at all.

She wondered how it had been removed and how the table had been put back in its exact place, complete with its exact disarray between the moment she had lost her battle with sleep and now.

"May I…?" he paused as she thought about where the bed could possibly have gone "It… broke" he answered her unsounded question, nervously-that way he spoke that made her want to kiss his mouth sweetly and tell him he had no fear. He was an angel, he was perfect… perfectly cocky and perfectly fearful at the same time.

Perfectly hers.

"Why are you outside?" her voice came out thick and husky. She liked the sound of it strangely-sultry. She wondered if he liked it too…

The door opened slowly and he had an odd expression; something caught between amusement and relentless unease.

It was strange because it came from Edward.

She liked it and hated it simultaneously; and again she questioned her decency for enjoying any weakness she managed to cajole out of the finely created tall boy, out of the cold misunderstood Angel. Vampire… the word would never latch itself onto Edward. She wondered if she needed to see him with red eyes like with James, did she need to see fangs and hear more growls…

What she really wanted to see though, was how he hunted…

She never understood his strength the way he hinted indelicately that she ought to understand. She never understood his speed the way she out to have gotten used to it by now… she never understood his senses; the hearing, the sight, the touch… the way she ought to understand.

She just didn't… and maybe it was because he had always been the tall detailed boy with a gloriously sad look in his eyes? It had just stuck to her and transformed itself into him being _her _tall gorgeous young man… with the curiosity in his eyes, the amusement in his grin…

"I made you breakfast" he was in the room, facing his wall of shelves with his hands locked behind his back. He looked tense.

He was tense, she guessed and then she looked down on her body. She was still naked under the blanket.

"Your bag…"  
>"Stop reading my mind" she sighed and he tilted his head the slightest bit, a suggestion that he wanted to turn around and look at her but was fighting the urge.<p>

"Well, could I finish that sentence at least?" he asked and she sighed in acceptance to his request. "I put your bag by the side of the couch"

She reached her hand over the side and her fingers brushed what could only be the bag. He turned around slowly, smiling a small knowing smile "A shower? Or a bath? I could organize whichever for you? You like to shower though… I know that but I thought you wouldn't mind a bath either. Alice left ten thousand varieties of fragrances for you to choose from…"

He was speaking maybe five percent too fast for any normal human but she heard him, although her head spun at the speed. He was nervous, restless but she couldn't fathom what about while she was under the blankets hidden from sight.

Maybe now, he would answer her thoughts.

He blinked at her in fear and she smiled.

"Hardly fair, Angela" he said sulkily.

"What is?" she asked innocently. "Reading minds?"

"Picking and choosing what I can and cannot answer" he said "I told you I couldn't help it"

"Does that mean I should make it easy for you?" she asked raising an eyebrow "I am at a very painful disadvantage with you Edward…"

"How can you think that?" he whispered and she sighed theatrically, falling back on the couch.

"You get to know what everything you do to me does…" her heart was thumping as she braved those words but… she had more gall than she knew, and she liked knowing that it was because her mother had been fiery. So she went further while his eyes widened "You even get to know what I _taste _like…"

He pursed his lips and she thought that honey colour had just turned to something so purely gold and smouldering at the edges. She stopped then, her mind yelling and hissing-had she, Angela Weber, just gone 'there'.

"It is only fair" she was half talking to him as she got up a bit shakily, forcing a grin on her lips "It is only fair for you that is… I don't think I sit well with you… just… doing _that_ for me and then I fell asleep. I feel like I used you, undermined your value…"

"You taste sinfully good to me" his voice was thick syrup, his eyes hooded and lips lightly parted. His breathing detectable for a change, chest moving with evidence "You don't understand the vice of such a taste to exist and for such a taste to land on my tongue so… amiably and so… hotly"

She shuddered and he closed his eyes. His jaw clenched twice and then his nose flared for a few seconds before he said "And the smell that accompanies such a flavour… oh Angela, how could you think any injustice was served when it was you who served me up with such… _manna from heaven_"

He opened his eyes and held her in his gaze and a volcanic heat spread over her skin, lava swirled and tided in her belly. Her mind became clouded and her already dismal vision became fogged. She abruptly wondered if they could repeat last night-and this time she did chide her decency and morality for being so skewed when it came to this boy; no, this _fine_ young man. When had she turned so selfish for Edward's every touch and attention?

"No" he said and she frowned in confusion. "What you are… thinking... I am saying no to that"

"I told you not to do that"

"Whether I answer your mental questions or react to your thoughts" he replied quickly "I hear them"

"Why can't we... why not?" she asked although she had already decided that it was incredibly selfish of her to have thought to ask for a repeat of yesterday simply because he… at had he done, truly? Walked in and done nothing but look at her and it was _she_ that had stirred _herself_ up. Or could he start a lust invoking fire with his gaze too..? Regardless, it was _selfish_…

"Go shower" he was already walking out, hands clenched at his sides and heat and warmth spreading about besides there being a cold heartless being in the room.

"We haven't…" finished, she wanted to say but he had gone and she was left momentarily befuddled by his disappearance before she remembered…

Before she remembered that her boyfriend was a vampire.

Xx~xx~xX

She wondered what his favourite fragrance would be; there was strawberry, there was raspberry, and a few other 'berries', before they got to various plants and herbs and then the sweet smoothies. She was in the shower, of course. She wouldn't dare step into the bathtub with the way she was feeling; her hand would most likely mosey over her body with intention. How could she afford any touch when her skin was so hot and susceptible to being seduced by her fingers? No, a shower would do…

"Edward would do" she muttered sulkily, screaming it in her mind that she hoped he would hear…

It lasted only a second, that insolence, before she retreated into showering silently; filled with shame for such heady thoughts and raunchy behaviour… such a lust and want, a neurotically absorbing yearning in her could only be sin!

But why was it better than anything on God's earth?

Because it is from hell, a voice whispered in her mind.

Then hell couldn't be _that _bad, surely?

Xx~xx~xX

She ate in silence while he watched her in equal silence opposite her. His hands were folded over his chest and he had a 'no-nonsense' look about him. She was very hungry and he was very serious. She wondered if she had offended him with some of her wayward thoughts and remarks, with some of her hormonal little tantrums…

"We just can't get lost in it!" he said suddenly, his face neutral and controlled "I can't get lost in it, at least, and I am sorry because as long as you are with me...it affects you too. You want to know what happened to the bed?"

She nodded her head.

"I broke it although I was trying so hard to treat it like a precious artefact made from straw. I pulled and pushed, the headboard fell off, the leg gave in… I broke it" he breathed in and continued "I wanted you so badly, _it _wanted you so badly too"

"It?" she asked.

He closed his eyes in shame "The monster" he told her, in a small voice.

Xx~xx~xX

His family was in no rush to be back in Forks, he told her, but they would be back by mid afternoon to illustrate their favourite sport to their brother's girlfriend.

It had been a phone call and she had stared in wonder as he had 'talked' to Carlisle; she couldn't hear a word of what he was saying-he spoke both too fast and too softly, the little black phone snapped shut and placed on top of the mantle.

"What would you like to do?" he asked her, pushing his hands into his pockets.

"What would _you _like to do?" she asked him, pushing her glasses up and shaking her head a little; in regular intervals, his beauty always made her _intoxicated_. Well, intoxicated past the usual 'Edward Cullen' high.

"I am pretty happy just being in your presence but I know you would need something a bit more stimulating than us just sitting here and us staring at each other?"

"We could watch television" Angela said, smirking. Edward looked to his left, to the television room and back at her. He shook his head and chuckled lightly.

"Activities to do with a vampire…" Angela got up from her seat and paced the room, inching closer to Edward " I should have brought a hand book"

"Yes, maybe you should have" he smiled "I am just glad you are aware you are spending a day with a vampire…"  
>"What, you think I am not as unpredictable and dangerous?" she gave him her half pout and his insides twisted hotly "You think I can't make this the wildest day ever?" she took her glasses off and reached behind her head, tugging her hair tie off and releasing her hair in waves around her face.<p>

"Let's get wild" she growled.

She didn't know what she looked like in that moment to Edward Cullen, she was in the dark to this; she was going for daring and came off a seductress. He stared at her in wonder and the spell was broken when she squinted, her nose scrunching up and her vision blared.

"Maybe you should keep those on?" Edward laughed "I don't think a day of you making faces at everything would be…wild. And I do think you need vision to see in the wild?"

"Wild?" Angela asked putting her glasses back on.

He tugged her hand and pulled her to him, placing his hands carefully on her hips and smoothly leading them to her lower back. He held her there, in front of him between his legs while he sat on the coffee table.

She smelt good, she felt good in his hands too… and her hearts soft thrum was wondrous to his ears.

"You woke up feisty it seems" he murmured and watched her blush cherry cream on that silky caramel skin.

"What, you scared of feisty old me?" she asked him but he could tell from her thoughts her bravado was only to hide the danger of the proximity they were in. She wanted to touch his hair but didn't, she wanted to run her finger from his forehead down to his lips but she didn't. She stared at his mouth and thought about kissing him… then thought about his tongue hidden from her behind his white perfect teeth.

At this, she remembered he was telepathic… and at this her blush intensified but was hidden behind the lovely tint of her skin, and all he could tell of it was the little spike in her scent and the monster purring for her…

The monster purring for her blood but mostly, for _her…_

"I wish you knew how bad I am for you" he sighed

"I wish you knew how badly I want you" she gave him a bashful smile besides the audaciousness of her words.

"What, you are ready to turn in your membership to Christianity already?" he raised an eyebrow and held her a little more tightly, curling a finger under her thick jacket, under her blouse and brushing the skin of her lower back lightly. She shuddered unduly and he smiled at her innocently, retracting his cold finger and smoothing her clothes back in place.

"It's not a club" she pouted. "It's a way of life"

"I just wanted to remind you of that" he told her, imploring her silently, to look at him. She did and he laughed; her full eyebrow was cocked up and she had an unimpressed look. "You didn't want to be reminded?" he asked her, fighting to _not _smile.

"I never forgot"

"Are you sure…?" he smiled this time, she was sulking and it was beautiful to him.

"I never forgot" she repeated, narrowing her gaze and daring him to say anything more.

"But you seem to forget that you are in love with a demon" he said softly.

"Vampire" she corrected him.

"Oh, now you remember I am a vampire?" he asked her "Whenever it suits you?"  
>"My prerogative, I suppose" she was still sulking and he laughed internally; she didn't even really know why she was in a huff.<p>

Absurd human.

"Well, your memory on religion seems clear enough" he rose from the coffee table, ignoring how little the space between him and her was with the movement-their fronts brushed and Angela started lightly, taking a step back. Only a step though, so she had to awkwardly look up at him.

He laughed again. He was standing _much _taller than she, he was _much _bigger than she and to top it all off, he was a vampire! But there she was, all the way _down there _with her height and _glaring _up at him with that luscious pout in place… so certain that she was intimidating the dead daylights out of him.

"I think I need to remind you that you are in the presence of a vampire" he chuckled, touching her chin and rubbing it softly. Her pout increased but her thoughts spluttered into segments of his face; his eyes, his nose and lips. He kissed her forehead lightly and her pretty little heart thumped hard twice before increasing its pace.

"You really think you can go wild…?" he couldn't believe he was doing this; as much as he wanted her to acknowledge he was dangerous…

He didn't want her to be afraid of him.

"How's about a little Safari Trek, eh?" he smiled, taking her hand and leading her outside. She immediately zipped up her sweater, and then her jacket and looked at him in confusion. "Hop on?" he led her hand over his shoulder and easily placed her into a piggyback. She yelped and made to protest but he had already begun moving and she then diverted her attentions to holding him tighter.

He liked that more than he should.

He liked her body pressed against his back a little too much too, he liked that her legs winded themselves around him and locked in place. It was like she would never let go off him… he hoped she would never let go at all.

"Ahhh…" she cowered, digging her head between his shoulder and head; her hot breath fanning the skin there exquisitely.

"Hey, that is not the point of this!" he slowed. He had only really been jogging and she was already settled to not look. That would defeat the point of the little experiment. "Angela, you should really appreciate Forks _wonderful_ outdoors"

"I think I would rather appreciate its indoors right now!"

"Oh, come on…" he laughed "What's a little wild and dangerous for a feisty girl like you?"  
>"Can we go back?" she peeked around them when he had stopped moving "Can we…?" she gasped.<p>

"We are a good forty five minutes' walk away from the house" he told her.

"But we have only been out for a few minutes…" she whispered.

"I have been out for a few minutes" he clarified "You, on the other hand… would have to trek back forty five minutes… but it would probably be longer because there isn't a hiking trail back to the house. It's all bush and no tree signs, Angela love"

"Take me back  
>"No" he said "You wanted to do activities with a vampire? Well, this is it…"<p>

"Why are you being mean" she dug her head back into the safety of the nook of his heck and he sighed, hopping a little into the air. She shrieked; his little 'hop' wasn't possible to any human-it sent them a few feet into the air, wind moving over her face and they covered half the height of the trees before landing back smoothly. Her grip around his neck was tighter, a chokehold. He liked _that _too.

"Do you promise to look around?" he asked her and she nodded her head. "Right…"

And with that he rushed through the forest, zooming easily between the thickly knit trees and 'hopping'-Angela at one point had decided that he could fly if he wanted to-over bushes and brush. The exhilaration of it was intoxicating, his speed impossible and leaving the world blurring to her but it was his soft laugh carrying wind to her ears that got to her heart.

Edward was made for this impossible rollercoaster ride and he loved _every_ minute of it.

Xx~xx~xX

She wobbled down from his back and tried to simultaneously comb her hair-that was nothing but a bushy hat on her head-and straighten her glasses on her face. She failed dismally at both activities and wondered what sort of a woman she could be if she was incapable of multitasking.

"Our hair never does _that_" he told her, smoothing her hair for her with his cold fingers "Hmm…" he had pushed it all back and held it in a pony at the nape of her neck. He kissed her forehead and smiled at her. "You look like your mother when your hair is let out" he told her and her eyes widened, soft smile twitching on her lips. "But when it is pulled back those eyes shine exquisitely out to the world"

"You are beautiful" he whispered, releasing her hair and it spilt over, framing her face. It was still bushy but she didn't care anymore. She followed him through the trees and stopped when he stopped, touching her hair lightly and wondering if she was turning vain because of this boy and his sweet words.

"I love the trees" he murmured, staring up at the impossibly tall trees. The sun was filtering through the leafy canopies and the sunlight managed to avoid him but his hand was caught in a stray ray. His skin shimmered like finely crushed glass. As she thought this, his hand moved out of the sunlight.

"I love the trees too" she said.

He turned away from the greenish ceiling with its many patches of light and grinned at her.

"Well, that's great!" he chuckled "Because that's how we are travelling"

"Huh?"

"Through the trees Angela" he shook his head, walking over to her and swinging her carefully on his back. "Hold on… just like you did before"

She held on tighter than before, and he smiled more freely. He liked this, too much… but who cared?

Besides God and the monster in him.

Xx~xx~xX

She held on to the branch fearfully, fully aware that the branch they were standing on was keeping them alive right now… well, her alive more so than him. He stood in front of her, caging her against the tree and away from the possibility of falling. This was higher than most buildings in Forks and high enough that she could see the full lake's expanse. She doubted she would have been able to reach this height on her own... she doubted anyone would have without equipment and an adrenaline shot.

"Not a lot of vampires climb trees" he sounded… shy again, maybe even ashamed that he enjoyed his tree climbing. Or maybe it was the wind moving vigorously in the heights they were in that confused her hearing. "Why climb a tree? What for?" he laughed sardonically.

"Wh…what for indeed" she chattered, braving to look behind her at him and narrow her gaze. He only smiled his crooked smile at her in response… and her heart and thoughts gave her away. She was in love with him, she shuddered. It wasn't like remembering… she had never forgotten how she felt.

She doubted she ever could.

"I convinced Alice to try, even Esme... the guys of course were up for a good challenge; racing in trees..." he chuckled before finishing with a rather large amount of bitterness "Rose never bothered to even try..."

"I don't see her as the tree climbing type" Angela said, partially defending the tall, blonde and haughty but loveable vampire "or maybe she is afraid of heights?"

"Vampires forget the little trivial things when you turn" he said "Your human fears… loves, hates… you forget it all. You are too busy dealing with the monster"

"Monster?" she momentarily forgot that they were so high up that if she fell… it wouldn't be the ground that killed her but simply the journey to the ground. She looked at him in interest, now hanging on to his voice as he spoke as though this was all she needed to remain in the tree.

"The monster" he repeated, looking at her sadly "Thirst… and other primal hungers. The monster… the vampire in us. We are more vampire than anything when we are in our first years of… this"

"You look scared?" he asked her. She knew he didn't mean of the height they were in.

"Not of you" she said.

"Of the monster in me?" he asked her.

"No" she lied.

"You don't know whether there is a monster in me" he read her mind and this time, she wasn't upset. She was ashamed of the contents of her thoughts.

"There is a monster…" he told her, leaning closer to her and winding his arm around her waist. He pressed her flush to his body and she instinctually wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could.

"Oh, there is" he whispered but they had begun moving and she had her eyes shut tight this time, seeing nothing but the sadness of his eyes.

Xx~xx~xX

She wobbled yet again when her legs were on the ground. She felt nauseas; her head was spinning and her stomach churning.

"I am definitely not made for _that!_" she said queasily. "You move like a rocket… and how you manage to not ram into anything…"

"I see differently to you" he said uninterestedly. He was more interested in smoothing her hair and pressing his cold hand on her forehead. He led her into a half crouching position, and momentarily the world stopped spinning too fast for her. "I am guessing you don't delight in rollercoasters?"

"I love them, actually" she murmured "Just not this part of it… _never_ this part" she prayed to God that she wouldn't vomit, imagining what his sense of smell would be like to that!

"We've covered speed" he said.

"And sight" she breathed, rising up when she was certain she wouldn't free her breakfast into Forks wonderful forest. "I do think you reading the newspaper that man in the boat was reading was a bit freaky… and overkill"

"I needed to know the sports highlights" he said innocently and in a more serious tone "And that was the point; you need to know that I am freaky"

"Freakily gloomy when it suits you!" she rolled her eyes, whacking his arm when she walked past him. He watched her trudge through the wild grass and bush for a moment before laughing.

"Angela, love?" he called her and she paused her efforts. "What is it that you are doing?"  
>"Is this the part where you show me your wondrous blood hound skills?" she asked him, holding a thick stick awkwardly in her hand. She had been using it to clear a way to <em>God Knows Where…<em>

"This is the part where you show me that you have some form of memory retention, Ms Weber" Edward sighed "We have been here before"

She looked about and frowned at him. "No we haven't" she shook her head "I _would _remember… err, that bush there…."

"That bush has always been here…" he murmured and then appeared by her side. She started and he smiled in satisfaction at her surprise. "You are going the wrong way, love"

"Hmm" she changed her direction and Edward cleared his throat.

"That's the wrong way too"

"Okay, lead" she tapped her foot and he grinned at her, taking her hand and leading her. They walked several paces through a little path that she was now suspecting he had made in the time she had been hitting bushes and shrubs…. But when they were through, she gasped.

It was the meadow… _his_ meadow, and it was lovelier than she had remembered.

"Those flowers…" he moved slow, tentatively into the enchanting clearing. He cocked his head gracefully to his left and she followed the direction. "They are new" he finished.

She moved just as slowly as he had-the meadow was fearsomely lovely, terrifyingly hypnotic to them both and it deserved its own respect, it demanded they give it somatic veneration as well as that of their hearts and souls-beating or otherwise, glowing or shadowy. It was where they had fallen into each other; it was where he had been forced to reveal himself to her… how fitting they should be here again, after the night they had had.

She reached the flowers and knelt by them. They spread out in a willowy wave, carpeting a good few feet and creeping up to the base of trees. They were lovely; white petals that fused into a satin centre and when Angela smelt them she gasped, turning around to look at her Edward in wondrous surprise.

"French vanilla, caramel and roses!" she said abruptly and then laughed, she hadn't even thought about the description of the scent and there it was on her tongue. "They smell... delectable. Like a dessert"

"You wondered about how I smelt?" he smiled "I asked Esme one day about smells when we had gone to the nursery and she suggested I smell some flowers. Of course, I wouldn't recognize my _own _scent… but I recognized yours in that flower. I thought it may fascinate you… to be able to smell your own scent. It's an impossibility to smell one's own scent…"

He was rambling Edward style; no hitches in his speech, no awkward words just… to much information. The only proof that he was nervous.

"Is that so?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Is what so?" she asked innocently.

"I ramble…when I am nervous?" he asked and she smiled.

"Well, I wouldn't call it rambling… you just, talk a lot about one particular thing. You give it detail, a history and that's how I know when you're nervous. It's cute"

"Cute?"

"Adorable"

"Adorable…?"  
>"Sexy nerd type of attractive?" she offered and he laughed. He picked one of the flowers and she thought he had somehow found the most perfect of them-it may be just that it was in his perfect hand. He combed through her hair with a finger and placed it in the mass of ebony and stepped back.<p>

"You make that flower look good" he told her.

"You make this world look good" she told him and he laughed, loud and free-much too loud for her ears. She cringed a little at the volume but smiled back at him.

"You are such a charmer, Ms Weber"

"You should let me charm you more freely, then... if you enjoy it so" she murmured, ignoring her nerves. She did that a lot; ignored her nerves with him. She had to, lest she find herself lost in the insecurities of standing in the presence of something so impossible in this world.

The awkwardness of standing in a dream when you were fully awake.

"Charm me, eh?" he asked. He looked at her so closely, so intimately that she felt naked once more before him although she had four article of clothing on (excluding underwear, even).

"Charm me, then..." he moved more centrally into the meadow, too fast-no pretence of being human. This was intimidating. This was, evidence that her Edward was indeed something either.

She had to walk a few minutes to him and when she was standing in front of him, he took a step into the sunlight. She tried to give no reaction as she watched him do this-she knew how he hated the effect on the sun on his skin-but her heart and eyes gave her away.

He gleamed, a billion rays refracted where the sun caught his skin. His face was barely visible of features momentarily, before his skin seemed to soak in the sun and dim its dazzling effect somewhat so she could make out his eyes in the brightness. The light refracted through his hair-she guessed it was from the skin of his scalp-his very hair seemed to polish and gleam metallically in the spotlight too.

"Glorious"

For a moment she didn't know who had said that, before she clasped her mouth with the realisation that the words had left her lips. She could tell he was frowning, the opposite of flattered from her words.

"Evil, Angela" he said "In sparkling skin"

"What's the most evil thing you have done?" she demanded, impatient with the constant 'evil' reminders when he was so obviously pure.

"Be born like this... when I should have died like normal true men"

"So you are upset with Carlisle?"

"Never, he thought it was... a good thing he was doing"

"So your evilness is to be reborn into this?" she asked, watching him sit down on the grass before he spread his limbs about him, laying flat on the meadows soft floor. She sat down next to him, mesmerized but composed.

The birds chirped far off, the wind moving the trees lazily. The sky was littered in little puffs of white, no promise of rain in Forks for that day.

"You don't get it" he sighed, closing his eyes. His face was in the shadows and if his features were now evident without the glittering... it didn't mean he was any less enchanting. "You refuse to understand the thirst!"

"Have you ever...?" she wanted to ask if he had tasted human blood, if he had killed a man...

"I have killed... but no, I have never tasted human blood" he murmured, turning his head a little away. "I was almost blameless... even more than Rosalie but now, her and I are the same. Never tasted human blood... but we have killed humans"

"What humans?" Angela asked.

"Is it not evident?"

"Evi..." she paled "Those men. _The men..._?"  
>"Yes" he murmured "Carlisle always said that I could control the thirst better than my temper..."<p>

"They were my link to my mother" Angela said stonily.

"I killed one of them?" he offered and she shrugged, slightly disturbed at the casualness in which they were discussing murder.

"You would never have found them" Edward tried, upset with himself now "Angela... they were dangerous. I had to send the message that you were _protected"_

"What is it with you and protection!" she hissed "I can't see Leah because it's dangerous... I can't do this and that, because it is dangerous...! Can I brush my teeth Edward? Can I brush my teeth... hmm? Are you afraid I will stab myself with the toothbrush?"

"You are upset but now, you are being unnecessarily silly" Edward muttered "Of course you won't stab yourself with the toothbrush... you'll choke on the toothpaste. Best use mouthwash Angela..."

"What!?"

"Joke, love..." he grinned, never opening his eyes. She hit his face hard, a direct strike with her hand but all that came from it was her retrieving her hand red and sore while he continued to grin.

So she pulled at his hair, and he did open his eyes at this but not to complain.

"You don't know how that feels" his voice had dropped and this shocked her into stopping her attempts of harming a vampire.

"How does it feel?" she asked, forgetting her anger and violence.

"Good"  
>"How good?"<p>

"Very..." he began but she had resumed her hair tugging, bravely bringing her other leg over him and sitting carefully on his stomach while he remained lying on the grass "Good"

She sat more firmly on him and leaned forward, pulling his hair and using it to brace herself. It did not yield and he did not flinch but he did open his eyes, and she could see the gold in them. When she kissed his forehead, when she kissed his nose and kissed his motionless lips and then returned her gaze to his eyes...

They were as black as ink.

"You need to get off of me" he said. A thrill ran down her spine and she sat up but did not get off of him. "Now, Angela"

She stared at him, hypnotised by his low voice. He sat up, his breathing rapid, chest rising and falling. Their eyes were locked and her heart was thrashing painfully in her chest.

He kissed her and she returned the kiss viciously, his hands rummaged over her body with no restraint-under her blouse, fiery ice over her skin-they were everywhere, too fast and too strong.

And it was not enough... for either of them.

"Get off!" he growled into her mouth but it was him that had pulled her tighter, and her legs went around him automatically and she felt... "GOD!" he roared too loud, and she shrunk in his arms, her ears ringing painfully before the air moved rapidly about them and she found herself half tossed on the grass.

She scrambled up, perplexed... and momentarily alone in the meadow. The birds had scattered across the sky from Edward's cry, little black dots moving upwards... and her heart beat furiously, palms sweaty and hidden parts of her throbbing.

She knew the biology of things, and what she had felt...

She started as a screeching whack rebounded from the other end of the meadow, where there were huge boulders and rockery. A large boulder there was split in halve and panting on its side... was Edward. He turned around, away from her and pressed his head on the side of the boulder in a positioned that suggested defeat... or misery.

She knew, he was neither...

"Oh, but I am" he groaned loudly, so she could hear. He was far off, and she walked slowly towards him.

"I am defeated and eternally miserable" he said when she was close enough. "Stop there, please... if you value my sanity"

"I am sorry" she squeaked,

"For what?" he asked, never moving from the boulder and hiding his face "My failure to reign in my attraction for you? My failure to reign in the monster?"  
>"You told me to stop"<p>

"But I didn't _mean_ it!" he groaned "Don't you see? I hoped you would never stop... it hoped you would never stop. Honestly, if I wanted you to stop... do you think there would have been much of a battle between you and I?"

"I am sorry..." she whispered "I made you ruin your meadow?"  
>"This..." he touched the boulder tentatively. It was truly a mess; the large rock had had a sturdy tree on top of it and that tree lay on one side splintered and other rocks that had balanced on the boulders fissured half lay strewn chaotically on the meadow's floor... "When I first got here, nothing grew... a barren patch in the middle of the lush forestry"<p>

"When you first got here?"

"Before..." he hadn't stopped panting and this worried Angela. Could vampires have asthma attacks? "And even when we came back with Alice and Jazz... it was dead. I thought since it was empty of... life, I would liven the place up and make it my own... be its constant gardener"

He peeked at her and smiled weakly "I am not having a heart attack... it's a... human reaction. Unnecessary but difficult to _not_ have regardless. I don't even need air! This is ridiculous...and slightly embarrassing. Of course, I can't leave you alone while I go take a swim...?"

She was inspecting the miniature mountain he had split in half, now worried for the man he had killed... the manner in which he had killed him. She picked a rock up and tried to smash it against the boulder... it wouldn't even crumble. She didn't fear his tempter, she feared it for others.

"Yes, I do have a temper... but yours is worse"

"No, it's not!" she defended. "You know what; I think Leah's temper is worse..."

"Yes" he agreed after a moment of frowning at the mention of the Quileute girl Angela was insistent on visiting, finally moving from the boulder "The Quileute have a _nasty _temper... especially when it comes to the women they love"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

She found the place he had once parked the Jeep easily enough-mainly due to Leah's superb tracking skills. There was no trail... but they had to try, and now... Angela was slightly convinced on Leah's hypothesis.

"He knows about them" Angela murmured, both women reluctant to step out of the car-mostly due to the cold day. "He knew about... stuff. Little things... how they love their women, he said"

"Yes, maybe he communicates with them?" Leah suggested "Yes, there was this one legend on...err, the way the Old Quileute Tribe's chief loved his one wife... or rather, third wife..."

"It is like you said... the woods, these lands had belonged to them?" Angela said. "Where else would they go...?"

"It's time to shed some realism on this mythology"

"Yes, indeed"

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**It was long, wasn't it? Sorry for that, but I had to find a way of doing the morning after chapter without disrupting the flow of the story. **

**Someone asked about Edward's past with regards to whether he ran off from Carlisle as he had done in Twilight... I decided to keep him 'sheltered from blood' somewhat in this story, for future purposes that may shock you...*slight spoiler* oh, and I would think that Leah and her mother in any setting would have a rather disorderly love for each other... it seems like they have the same type of personality... so they would have hectic fights but the love would be there, somewhere... hidden and stubborn.**

**The reason I kept an Angela perspective out is because it gives her a different aura in this story, and I hadn't really established her as much as I had done in They Set out to Fight Love. But maybe, in the sequel we will delve into her mind. I actually noticed I had been staying out of all the characters minds... a fear of being predisposed when in one characters head for too long, maybe? **

**My favourite character's mind to write in will forever be Charles Black... lol. He is all of them wrapped in one. Whenever its Edward or Renesme, I notice that the chapters are longer...**

**Anyhow, enough of that rambling Edward style... next chapter is titled 'Let Sleeping Dogs lie', a little tribute to PMU. Not sure whether that is the last chapter or if there are a few more, we shall see as we go along...**

**Sorry for the long authors note to top of the long chapter, lol...**

**Xx**

**TJ**

**Ps, thank you for the support and as always... don't be shy to be heard.**

**Ten thousand and fifty nine words...**


	31. The Beginning of Glory

**EDWARD CULLEN**

One would think that being a telepath would make understanding Angela Weber all that more... _effortless_.

"I think you are being... just a little..."  
>"Don't finish that sentence Emmett!" I snapped. He sighed, thumping the dashboard with just enough strength that it groaned but didn't escape through the bonnet, before flicking an irritated glare at me. The car idled on the side of the road, the rain steaming over the windscreen from the heat of the engine.<p>

I hated that I knew all too well where the treaty line ended. I hated that I held Carlisle in such high regards that dishonouring him seemed closer to death... even in the face of beings long gone. I pushed the pedal and the car lurched forward just the tiniest bit.

"Just go and get her then!" he sighed wearily, covering his eyes. "I don't give a rat's ass about giant dogs and treaties. It is like you said, they are long gone..."

"They _were _long gone..." I said stiffly, remembering Jacob Black's loud vivid thoughts. They wouldn't hurt her, this much I knew but it wasn't enough to know that they had sworn to protect all humans.

I put it down to being spoilt by Angela; how she had allowed me to indulge in her presence for every nanosecond of reality. I put it down to the taste of her, her lips, her eyes... her _everything. _I was addicted and how cruel of her to take her drug from me with no warning, with no phone call and no text...

Just little Henry telling me she went to see her friend, Leah Clearwater.

I was being possessive and I knew it and the worst part about knowing it and being ashamed of it was not being in control of the feeling. I gripped the steering wheel and glared at the woods of the Quileute; what did they have that would call her to them. Leah and Jacob, her new friends...?

"Edward..." Emmett sighed, starting to worry about Rose asking him why he was late for school when he had come with an obsessively punctual Edward as the driver.

I growled and he opted for silence immediately. The Volvo wheeled into a perfect U-turn and I left the hidden territories of an ancient tribe alone and headed for Forks High without the love of my life; thirsty and unagreeable.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**ANGELA WEBER**

"How are you coping?" the words came out stiff, small and tumbled over my tongue before spilling into reality. They didn't seem adequate in the face of Leah's misery but I had to say something...  
>"Dumb question, Angela" she said immediately, swinging the sturdy stick violently; she was attacking the forest undergrowth more so than clearing an adequate path for us up the hiking trail.<p>

"Yeah" I agreed, defeated "Dumb question"

"Do you know why it is dumb?" she asked after five minutes of laboured breathing and whacking bushes.

"No not really... I mean, there are obvious reasons..."  
>"No Angela, there aren't a lot of reasons" she laughed morosely "I am not coping because everything I know is a lie"<p>

"Well, there is another reason" I began and then braved the words "If it wasn't for..."

"Edward Cullen?" she cut me sharply, her tone dragging the two names long and hard, wearing them so thin that they sounded generically pompous instead of elegant and precious. "Catalyst, sure enough... but I was heading here most of my life. Did I think I could hide behind my art and ignorance? Did I think being openly fearful of the world would stop the world from harming me? Why, yes I did and maybe my self sabotage was my being completely naïve"

She laughed. It was a cynical ugly sound, fake and hurtful. "And then the world turned on its head and bit my ass so hard that I think I will be forced to shit standing for the rest of my life on account of my _issues..._"

She stopped again, snorting and shaking her head. "At times I think there is something inside me"

"Inside you?"

"Here" she paused and turned her body at an angle, pointing between her breasts, at the centre of her chest "Something that's angry with the world, so angry that I have allowed people to dictate my life, how I have let people steer me to whichever direction they felt I should go"

"This thing is angry" she resumed her swinging, clearing the narrow hiking trail with better skill now and more determination "Its upset, its vicious, its dangerous and all it wants to do is..."  
>"Break free?" I finished for her. It reminded me so acutely of Edward and his obsession with the monster in him.<p>

Could the thing inside Leah be that very same monster? Was the monster the rawest part of a person's soul; the part that concerned itself with the basest of instincts-the will to live and be alive? To survive against all odds and circumstances?

Could that darkness inside of every being the same?

But how could that be if there was such beings as _vampires_; beings that were so certain that they were made from the shadows and ignoring the fact that they had been men once; men created by God.

If it was a monster, would it turn into the apocalypse if that raw beast in us was set free? Would that not be the truest form of freedom or were we wise in letting all that was dark, hidden and uncontrollable remain fast asleep?

Xx~xx~xX

"I don't know what to expect" Leah's voice was strained, she had been talking for half an hour while I listened to the best of my capabilities, considering my mind kept drifting off to the reality that I had lied to Edward.

Well, it wasn't the dreaded 'Going to the Reservation' that he had explicitly shown uneasiness with but I was pretty sure it was in the same alleyway. I was agitated; I expected him to appear before us; brooding and wagging a long pale finger in reproach.

"It's worth a try" I said after a second of angry musings of an overprotective boyfriend "What harm ever came from a stroll in the woods?"

"We could be like little red riding hood...!" Leah laughed loudly, her voice packed with fake humour to cover her uneasiness "We could meet the big bad wolf" she finished hollowly, stopping so suddenly that I was forced to do an awkward dance to stop from knocking into her.

"Its everything you promised" she breathed. She moved hypnotized into the meadow, her eyes round and mouth ajar.

I watched her take those tentative first steps of wonder into the enchanted garden. Had Edward watched me in a similar satisfaction to how I felt in watching Leah; for there was no greater reaction deserving of the meadow that this _instantaneous infatuation._

My heart ached as I saw what that fateful night she had offered to drive me home had brought about in her life; she was young, too young to be facing isolation, she was lean but she was now much too skinny and she seemed taller and more unkept than ever, her eyes rimmed in red and slightly swollen.

Had she told me all that there was to tell about her tribe or were some things exclusive only to the Quileute...? I couldn't top wandering on so many things as I had done with Edward. It terrified me that behind the curiosity, I had that very same strange itch; that sensation that she was crying out to me past just as a friend but the most _intimate_ of confidants-the keeper of her darkness, the sympathiser to the monster desperately trying to free itself from the centre of her chest.

Was I an understanding exorcist to the repenting malformations of God; those beings long forgotten by time and wrongly judged?

"Angela, it is glorious" Leah spun around, her cheeks dark and eyes blazing "_He_ brought you here?"

I ignored the acid that she tainted any reference of Edward with. I understood where it was born from and I understood Leah to some degree; she was always, in the end, fair.

Once this blew over, she would see Edward as clearly and impartially as I did.

"He did" my voice was small, the agitation confusingly persistent in the back of my mind.

"Taha Aki himself would willingly remain in these plants" she whispered, kneeling by the white flowers-my flowers-and inhaling. "Glorious"  
>The word sounded foreign and exotic coated with her textured voice.<p>

"Glorious" I smiled at her, seeing her smile genuinely for the first time. It highlighted her ashy lips; it highlighted how pale she seemed.

"Glorious indeed" a horrifyingly pleasant voice agreed.

I froze, my blood curdling and stomach twisting nauseously. Leah paused her sniffing, her eyes narrowing and lips pursing; she rose with equal chariness and looked around us. I didn't dare search the source of the voice out because all I knew was that it belonged to none of the Cullens but was most definitely not human.

"Its funny we should meet again..." the voice sang into the air, terrifying the peace of the meadow into retreat. This time, I did see him; he moved smoothly in the shadows, beautiful and red eyed. He was much too far for his voice to carry so clearly and he was much too wicked to wear a look of such cordiality.

"And without _your_ vampire?" his voice was distastefully sweet and rang across the lush grass like a gong of doom.

"Angela?!" Leah shook me and I met her eyes. She cringed back from whatever she saw in me and turned around, searching for the vampire-he was no longer in the shadows of the trees. "What is going on...?!"

She was freaking out; the memory of James was fresh in both our minds. I couldn't move, I felt petrified into a statue... were we going to die? Would this be the end? Could Alice see this?

Trivial nonsensical things filled my mind, ants running over each other; I had lied to Edward, I had refused to go shopping with Alice, I hadn't told my father I loved him... had I taken the washing out of the drier? I should have made cookies for the twins...

"We could run!" Leah shook me hard, her fingers digging into the flesh of my arms painfully. She stopped her shaking and opted to push me roughly; _this_ worked and I was forced to react lest I end up on the ground. "Angela, there is no Taha Aki... Angela...!"

"You are going to die..." the vampire sang but his song was punctuated by a ferocious rumbling.

Leah and I snapped our heads to the sound, almost missing the giant beast standing perfectly still at the edge of the surrounding forest. It was _huge_; a massive wolf with a head so high up and eyes so vividly burning that there seemed to be balls of fire in its skull. Its fur was black... this beast was made for the shadows. It _was _the shadows...

"The beast" I heard myself say "Your beast, Leah"  
>"No... Emily's beast..." Leah murmured absently. "I heard mother once... I drew it, didn't I?"<p>

"The darkness within" we were both hypnotised and dementedly tranquilised by the sight of our approaching deaths. The wolf made two steps forward while the vampire made two steps backwards; it was strange, had they not come to deliver death to us?"

The beast was in the meadow, the vampire seemed to fear any sudden movements... trying not to catch the creatures attention. Behind the shadow wolf, two other masses of fur emerged; a grey wolf and a rusted brown one.

"Taha Aki..." Leah said and she took a bizarre step forward and I grabbed her hand "Angela, I told you... Taha Aki... the old chief! The Old tribe... they are here. We were right!" she was yelling hysterically, trying to free her self from my grip and run to what could only be her death.

"No...!" I wrestled her futilely and as weak as she seemed, she was in fact _very _strong "Leah... NO!"

She was free. It felt like time had stood still, just so I could watch Leah Clearwater _die;_ there she was, running across Edward's enchanted garden, half crazed and entirely desperate, towards the furred trio of death.

"Have her!" the vampire blurred, caught Leah in its arms and held her in the air, way above its head. Leah let out a scream of pain and the vampire yelled, so loudly it hurt my ears "Have this _bitch _you mangy werewolves...!"

Had the vampire seemed affable before because it was the standing image of beautiful vileness now as it tossed my _friend _across the meadow towards the... the... _werewolves!_

"_NO!" _I ran towards her, forgetting fear in favour of the heartbreak of her death and the common sense that I had not a chance in reaching her, before she hit the ground nor could I even catch her if I did reach her-that logic didn't compute nor did the reminder that there were giant werewolves growling and snarling in this absurd reality Leah and I had found ourselves in.

She didn't reach the ground before the red beast leapt up and snatched her in its dagger filled muzzle.

"Nooooo...!" I was beyond pain, I was lost in the horror of the scene... the vampire had turned on its heels and the other two werewolves were on its tail while the red one hovered over Leah. "Get away...!" I picked up Leah's stick and rushed towards it, flailing the stick violently and with no coordination at the werewolf.

"You get away from her!"

It growled at me, its hunches raised and eyes unnaturally intelligent. "Move from her!" I hadn't realise I was crying, the tears hot on my face. "I said _fucking_ move from her!"

It backed off, giving me one last insolent gaze before it rushed after the other beasts. I watched it anxiously, convinced it would come back and finish both Leah and I off. After a second, the meadow stilled; the trees had seemed to thrash in my vision, the flowers and earth bleeding. But now, it stilled; heaven had fallen to hell, and was back on earth once more and Leah would be the only tell of this occurrence.

I moved slowly towards her. She lay on her side and I couldn't tell if she was breathing-I could see no blood either.

"Leah?"

Nothing.

"Lee... ah?" I was right by her, the stick thrown to the side. "Oh Lord, Leah..." I knelt by her and touched her shoulder; the sweater she wore was half off her body, her shoulder expose-it was blotched purple. I touched her there again and her body cringed. I jumped back in fright before I registered that the movement was a sign that she was alive... but in pain.

"Leah!"

"Ngh... ouch" she grumbled, twisting so she faced me. "Are they gone?" she breathed, a dazed smile on her swollen lips. "Did you see them? The tribe of old...?"

"That was them?" I asked, checking for anything broken. It seemed her shoulder and the right side of her face had gotten the worst of it. "The tribe that Carlisle and Edward made the treaty with?"

"Yeah" she smiled peacefully besides her battered form. "That was them... most probably. Maybe not Taha Aki... but it was them, I am sure"

"But they are werewolves?"

"No, they are spirit warriors, Angela..." she was unconscious and I was left with the difficult task of moving us out of the meadow, away from the forest before the shadows revealed any more mythical _cordialities_ like these... _spirit warriors_.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Leah, wake up...!"

"Ngh...?" her arm hurt; a slow throbbing ache that flashed simultaneously with each of beat of her heart. It was dark, but not yet night time and the car moved slow and deliberate down the highway.

"God, finally...!" Angela huffed.

"Where are we?" Leah breathed, inching her body upright and out of its slouching. She focused her eyes to the outside world and made out the building. "Forks General?"  
>"Your shoulder...?" Angela parked the car carefully in front of the Hospital.<p>

"My shoulder, right" she opened the door carefully and slid out of the seat, carefully standing on the ground and registering a series of other pangs and aches erupting in her leg and back. "I think... maybe more than my shoulder"

"Right" Angela breathed. "We have very few options thanks to your wanting to remain anonymous to your family and my... well, Edward is going to be very pissed"

"Fuck Edward, and as for my family... I'll just go back to Jacobs" Leah said groggily, flinching as she walked "I am sure this would interest the little dweeb"

"I really hope Alice hasn't seen me" Angela sighed, shuffling through the bright corridor.

"Now why would she be in the woods?" Leah half skipped, allowing Angela to help her along.

"Our cover story is that you fell... on a rock..."

"And tumbled over a hill and got kicked around by an elk" Leah shivered. "Sure, whatever you come up with I'll agree..."

"No talk off..."

"My head was not chewed, Angela" Leah huffed "I am not a retard"  
>"Yes, no... I mean, I don't think you are a retard..."<p>

"A Cullen" Leah shushed Angela, her eyes narrowed. "It's the... father"  
>"Leah..." Angela sighed, knowing <em>who<em> she meant and knowing that _he_ had heard her. Angela peeked to her left and sure enough, there was Carlisle ambling his way towards them trailed by two blushing nurses.

"Angela" he smiled. "There you are!"

"Here I am!" She waved her hands nervously. "Where had I...er... gone" dumb questions seemed to be the order of the day for her; did she think Edward would not miss her absence?

"Only you can answer that" Carlisle looked at her intently, before swerving his eyes to a silent morose Leah. "Ms Clearwater..."

"We've met?" Leah asked rudely.

"When you were attacked by James" Carlisle said courteously "I tended to you"

"Dr Cullen..." Angela began and he laughed.

"Carlisle, Angela" he corrected. "Edward is looking for you anxiously... you should let him know where you are before he does something irrational" he took out his phone and handed it to me before surveying Leah again. "Ms Clearwater, will I be tending to you again?"

"I have no medical aid"  
>"You didn't have medical aid then, either, I believe" Carlisle smiled, leading Leah to his office.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Did you have to call Jacob too?" Leah hissed at me. She had her arm in a sling, her hair pushed into a messy pony tail and small bandage covering her left brow.

"You idiot" Jacob greeted her, entering the office stiffly and glaring at Carlisle... then a silently fuming Edward. "Clearwater, you are the most idiotic..."

"Could you save it for your cosy single bed" Leah huffed, rising slowly from the bed "I have had a long day that your sheltered pompous fifteen years of age would never begin to understand..."

She was out, Jacob following her in a rage.

"Well, he understands more than he can tell her" Carlisle sighed. "I'll be in Amy Howard's room, if you need me Edward. The keys are in the drawer... you can drive home, I'll run"

"Thank you" Edward said stiffly.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked.

"Very much so..." he breathed.

"Well, you can't exactly ground me"  
>"No, I can't"<br>"In fact, there isn't much you can do to me..." I said, sticking my chin out "So if you would excuse me... I'll be going to my home. And sleeping in my bed"  
>"Angela, I couldn't find you!" he pleaded. "I was this close to ruining the treaty...! Jacob and I almost got into it...!"<p>

"You are not my father, can we get that straight...!" I said "I knew the kind of danger I was putting myself in..."  
>"No, you did not!" he snapped "You definitely did not... Jacob said..."<br>"Edward... I am tired, I am exhausted and a little traumatised if you can understand" I cut him "I am going home"  
>"I can't leave you alone tonight" he whispered.<p>

"I never said you had to leave me alone" I breathed. "I want to go to my home. I want to sleep in my bed... and I want to be with _you _Edward Anthony"

"And you have me" he said "Always"


	32. Deducing Irrationality

"You are an idiot"  
>"I heard you the first time" Leah grumbled, cuddling herself in her seat and glaring out the window. She peeked a look at Jacob, secretly intimidated by his anger and then cast her eyes back to the safety of the dark night "I heard you loud and clear, Jacob, the first time... the second time..."<br>"You could have been killed!"  
>"I hardly think a tumble down the stairs would kill me..." she mumbled "I suppose if I broke my neck..."<br>"Fuck!" he released the steering wheel, the car still accelerating and slammed his fists back on the steering wheel. The car veered sharply to the left, Leah whamming into the door painfully, an awful flare of pain flashing in her arm.

He controlled the car, despite the terrifying slide of tires over the wet road and slowed down somewhat. If she had been intimidated by his anger, she was now in fear-genuine fear, and the pain in her arm had returned besides the pain killers. She was breathing arduously, gulping down panic and trying to still her racing heart. Over her own breathing, she could hear his; harried and deep, not from fear of the swerved car but his own fury.

Her lower lip began to quiver and she could feel her eyes widen; his face seemed red, past the russet... his face seemed to glow and spittle flew from his lips with each thunderous breath.

"You put me in so much shit!" he growled. He spared her a flick of his gaze and she saw the anger churning inside him and then he glared out the windscreen. "You fucking idiot!"

She wanted to scream, 'I get it, you big bullying child!', but she realised she wasn't staring at little ickle Jacob Black right now. He was hulking over the steering wheel, filling up the driver's seat and visibly uncomfortable in the space; even with the chair pushed back to its maximum, he was too tall.

"It could have happened to anyone" she didn't think he would hear the words. They crawled out of her mouth, unwillingly moving over her lips and then they tried to run back into her voice box. She may as well had thought the words for all her efforts...

"No it couldn't have!" he was still shouting, his voice deep and booming.

She didn't know she was cowering so far in the corner, so deep into the passenger's seat until he stretched his arm across the space and only his finger tips could reach her. She could feel their heat through the thin sweater. The contact made her squeeze closer to the door, pressing against her arm so the pain flared up again. He retraced his arm, returning his hand to the steering wheel and began breathing deliberately.

His eyes flicked to her again, and this time his gaze was soft. Incredibly softer and his lips freed themselves from the scowl.

"I wish you wouldn't lie to me, Leah" he said gently.

"I wish you wouldn't yell at me, Jacob" she said, never relaxing or straightening up. "I wish you wouldn't yell at me like that... it..." she gulped again, panic and a strange stinging was in her heart, that little sting that happened when you revealed something intimately weak about your soul "...scares me"

He drove the car into a residential street; slowing some more before inching very deliberately up the road and ending the journey with a neat stop. He sighed heavily, resignedly and let his head fall onto the accursed steering wheel, never raising it up as he whispered "Your home, Lee"

She straightened up and looked around her, to the dark outside. At first she was confused and then comprehension hit her. They were in front of the Clearwater residence; the lights were still on inside, Harry's car parked in the driveway.

"No" she peeped. All her bravado had trailed behind as they walked out of Forks General, and it had been thoroughly burnt to ashes when Jacob had behaved like 'falling down the stairs at Angela's house' was the same as consorting with the dreaded 'Cold One's'. She had seen it in his eyes, he didn't believe her. Not even a little bit...

But she was sticking to the story. What other story _could_ she give?

"Jake...I haven't been myself of late" she turned her body to face him, still glued to the door though and keeping an immeasurable space between them. "You know, cranky..."  
>"Understandable, with everyone being involved in your life" he said this technically, no emotion in his voice. She thought impassive was better than anger right now... but this made appealing to his compassion all the more thorny.<p>

"You gave me a place to stay when I needed it the most..."  
>"It was more like you made yourself at home and ignored everything I had to say about anything..." he let out a contemptuous chuckle, shaking his head in reproach-at either her behaviour in said instance, or his reaction to that behaviour.<p>

"I am sorry..." she began and he snorted, raising his hand.

"Save it" he reached his body across her, she tensed but he continued the motion and opened the door on her side. The night air filtered through and she shuddered, and when he had retracted the motion and his heat and body weren't over her, she began to shiver insistently.

"Go" he commanded, staring ahead of him.

"I said I am..."  
>"Fuck you and your sorry!" he hissed, slamming the steering wheel. "I believed you were just a victim of fucking circumstance; the whole 'wrong place at the wrong time' thing. But lo and fucking behold...! You go courting danger with her!"<p>

"Jake I was just at her house...!" her voice pitched, tears stung her eyes and he blurred behind the liquid momentarily before it spilt over her cheeks.

"What the fuck do you take me for!?" Jacob slammed his chest with an open hand, looking at her and seeing past her.

"I just..."  
>"I am just the kid you babysat right?" he sneered "The stupid kid who had no mother and latched onto you when his sisters left, right?" he gave her a minute to answer and when all she did was continue to cry, he continued bitterly "The kid who had a crush on you, right? And listened to you gush about fucking Sam Uley..."<p>

"I just needed answers, Jake!" she squeaked."Angela could help me find them!"

"Get out"  
>"Jake, you didn't have to take me from the Hospital..."<p>

"Sam told me too" Jacob voice levelled, a startling control coming over him "He told me to take you to Sue and make sure you got into the house"

"Sam!?" Leah cried hysterically.

"Leah, the moment Sam knew... I couldn't hide it" Jacob apologetically "It wasn't a secret anymore, and you have no idea how damn near impossible it is for there to be secrets between Sam and I... between all of us and it was taking so much energy... I tried but you didn't make it easy did you? The moment they knew, they had to tell Sue. She had been worried..." he took in shaky breath and finished with such bleak surrender "Leah, you have to go. Just... get out"

"Why do you hate me?"  
>"I don't hate you"<br>"You _all _hate me" she said "Because of Angela? Because of the... Cullens? Because of _vampires_"  
>He said nothing, tensing.<p>

"Vampires" she said again, defiantly. "That's what they are, Jacob. Say it... they are vampires. I will not let you all punish me for knowing this... for my... wanting to know more. I am _not_ insane!"

"Sometimes it's okay to be in the dark, Leah" he said softly, wistfully "You are protected in not knowing. How can I protect you when you want to be in the middle of these dark and dangerous secrets?!"  
>"You... protect...?"<br>"I mean, all of us protect you" he waved his hand in the air "Let the Cullens be"  
>"I wasn't with the Cullens"<p>

"Oh, you were with Angela" he sneered, saying Angela's name with contempt "Angela might as well be a fucking Cullen for all her worth right now!"

"Angela is..."  
>"Get out!" he spat, gripping the steering wheel again. She realised he was wringing the round edge of it, his fists tightening and squeezing till the skin on his knuckles paled.<p>

He was fighting something, or fighting to not do something... he was dangerously absurd. Strange and terrifying, but she was determined. She looked out to the house and back to Jacob. She was trembling, shivering and frozen. Her door was still open and Jacob wouldn't look at her. She looked to the house and wondered if Sue and Harry knew she was outside.

"You don't hate me?" she asked Jacob softly.

"No" he said austerely.

"You don't care about me?" she asked.

"If you believe that then you really are an idiot" he snarled. "I don't want to be this way to you but... there are forces working inside me that wouldn't have me behave any other way"

"Comforting" her voice was frail, cold and sour. They sat in silence for a moment, Jacob staring down the narrow road to invisible foes while Leah glared at the house she had grown up in.

"I wish I had a brother" she said.

"You wish you had Seth" he whispered, and in a softer voice he said "I wish I had my mother. I wish the Cullens never existed... I wish for so few things that it doesn't even make sense why the universe would deny them to me. Just that; my mother and the expulsion of vampires from our world or at least, from Forks"

"You know I don't give a rats ass about vampires, right?" she said "I give a rats ass about reality... the truth"  
>"You should go"<br>"You said that a couple of times" she sighed, looking at him. "I'm starting to think you don't really want me gone"  
>"I..." he looked at her, his eyes wide and mouth hanging ajar. He was court of guard by the turn of the conversation. "I told you, Sam wants you under Sue's roof"<br>"Why?" she challenged "Why does he want me under Sue's roof and why do you have to listen to him?"

"I can't help it" he said.

"I didn't fall down the stairs" she told him.

"I know"  
>"I was in the forest"<br>"I know"

"I saw something... another vampire that wasn't the Cullens" she said hollowly, remembering the fear and the beauty she had felt in the meadow.

"Yes" he agreed.

"And... something else" she breathed tentatively, looking at Jacob closely "But if you can't even say the word vampire to me..."  
>"Not because I don't want to..."<br>"Then why should I tell you" she said "You are a coward"  
>"You think that?" he smiled.<p>

"I know that"

"Leah, it's time to go. I think you and I have stalled long enough"  
>She wasn't upset any longer, her fear of Jacob had evaporated and when she looked at him she saw the boy she had babysat once more. It wasn't the same image of that boy, but at least there was a resemblance and this comforted her; knowing she hadn't lost him. He was still her friend and just exceptionally upset with her... because of Sam.<p>

"Sam's an ass" she yawned, trying to cover her mouth and failing when her arm panged dreadfully. She swung her legs lazily out of the car and before she scooted out, she looked back at Jacob and said gently "You scared me tonight, Jacob"  
>"I'm sorry" he said softly, his eyes swimming with stunning remorse. "It wasn't really about you... I just don't like being given a command... and you were lying to me, Leah. Don't lie to me, please... especially when it comes to... dangerous things"<p>

"Right" she shook her head, narrowing her eyes, trying to figure out Jacob Black. "You're scary Black..." she shook her head "You know that?"  
>"I don't want you to be scared of me..."<br>She smiled and got out of the car, slamming the door so her parents would know she was home... and if they had known she had been sitting outside with Jacob, they'd know to move away from the curtains at least. She walked around the car, feeling Jacob's eyes following her and sighed to her self.

He was taking Sam Uley's words to heart, it seemed. She walked slowly up the pathway and knocked on the door. Jacob hadn't even started the car, watching her carefully and miserably.

"Leah!" Sue breathed immediately, as the door opened.

"Just one second..." Leah sighed, backtracking and running back to the car.

She tapped on Jacob's window and signalled for him to roll it down.

"Clearwater, get in the house" Jacob said "You'll catch your death soon..."

"You scared me" she whispered.

"I got it" he said, and she knew he wasn't snapping at her out of annoyance with of reminder but a deeply rooted regret of the fact. "I scare a lot of people and just like them; I get it if we can't hold a conversation after this..."  
>"You scared me..." she repeated "And I thought since you were giving so much advice about secrets, I could give you some advice about... scaring people"<br>"What?"

"Anger..." she said deliberately "Management..." she said indicatively "Classes" she finished evenly.

"Huh?"  
>"Black, you got some anger issues you need to get checked out" she smiled, and touched his arm.<p>

"Well..." he looked at her confused and mesmerized "You have some mental problems you need to get checked out, Clearwater"  
>"Goodnight" she said. "And I may hate it..." she looked back at her mother standing impatiently by the front door "What with my being a legal adult and your being fourteen..."<p>

"Fifteen" Jacob corrected absently.

"But thanks for bringing me safely home"

"Thanks for... not dying on my watch. And Clearwater?"  
>"Huh?"<br>"Goodnight to you too"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

Love, is irrational and the worst part about knowing this... is not being able to do anything about it because, I was so deeply and compromisingly in love. I was to tell her that she was right, that my fears and commands were unfair...

That I was being a tyrant...

"I can't lose you" I said and she huffed, unimpressed by this answer in accordance to her accusation that I was controlling her life.

"I get it... I'm not indestructible or whatever..." she went on, oblivious to my pain and anger-or artfully ignoring it.

"It was Laurent... he could have been with Victoria"  
>"And I would have died"<br>"Exactly!" I hissed, reaching for her face and stroking her cheek "A painful death. The vampires you know, Rosalie and Alice... us, the Cullens... we aren't so nice. We behave human, for you... but you don't know vampires, Angela"  
>"I remember James" she said.<p>

"Oh, that is but a fraction of the true brutality of my kind..." I said. "And now... I am indebted to the Quileute"  
>"And they hate me" she said softly.<p>

"And Laurent..." I whispered "He will tell Victoria... she will want her revenge"  
>"Edward..." she said after a second, touching my hand "I didn't go into the forest searching for danger... I did it for Leah. She needed to find those... Quileute Chiefs or Spirit Warriors?"<br>"Right" I said carefully "but she was putting you in danger"  
>"She didn't know that, neither of us did" Angela smiled gently "She needed it... she needed to know she wasn't losing her mind. Edward, I have you here every day reaffirming the reality of vampires... the reality of you. Leah has nothing but a blurry pain filled memory and secret whispers abundant in her tribe... can you not understand? Can you not shed your irrationality for me?"<br>"I want to but..." I looked into her eyes, imploring her to see into my dark silent hear "I cannot allow a single danger to impinge on you. It would be like placing danger on my self... worse still! Wolves are volatile creatures; it may have been Laurent or them harming you... Angela... please"

"Its done" she said "I could see it in Jacob's eyes... I won't be seeing Leah in a while, so you have nothing to fear for. It'll be school and home"

"It will be us, Angela"  
>"Sometimes..." she snuggled into her blankets and yawned "That's not enough. Every girl needs a girlfriend"<p>

As long as it doesn't involve giant wolves...

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

She couldn't sleep.

Her reunion with her parents had been... sweet. They had missed her, she had missed them and that raw anger she had had before leaving for Jacob's had abated drastically. They thanked her for coming home (as though they had given her a choice), and told her how different everything was going to be.

Tomorrow, they were going to Seth's grave to lay flowers and afterwards Leah would attend the bon fire. Billy Black was going to tell the story of the Cold Ones to the little ones this year...

It was as though her trial had never happened or had been just one big misunderstanding but Leah knew better now. She understood so much about secrets and a second world that they existed side by side that she took their brilliant acting as it was; fake. They needed her home... yes, they wanted her safe and she couldn't deny that they loved her. She couldn't ignore the fact that she loved them too.

But it was an act.

To what purpose?

Because she had seen...

"I saw them..." she murmured to herself, closing her eyes and willing her mind to bring the vision back. There they were giant wolves... "Spirit Warriors"

She thought the warriors had told the tribe of the impudent Quileute girl they had seen attacked by a vampire. Maybe the warriors had mentioned that Leah and Angela were not having a picnic with a vampire... that it was not some formidable betrayal and now the tribe felt so guilty...

Embarrassingly at fault for such cruelty... and they thought it would be better for everyone to _not _give Leah an apology that was rightfully due and instead just pretend the whole thing had never ever happened.

They knew about the Warriors, she thought. And Jacob had known that she was in the woods... he had known that she had been with a vampire... it wasn't like they had been in the rim of the woods. She and Angela had gone deep into the forest, hiking and trailing.

"He knows" she was aware her mouth had twisted just the tiniest bit. "He knows!" she repeated, bolting upright and glaring at shadows in her room. "That little..."

She was up, grabbing her gown and tying it in mid stride. She knew where Sue kept her truck keys and she was vaguely aware that they may hear her leave. What could they possibly do at this point? Lock her up? 

She was in the truck, driving out and heading to Jacob Black's home with nothing but betrayal in her heart.

Xx~xx~xX

She knew the window would be open. Jacob Black cared very little for home security, let alone the security of his room. She let herself in slowly, slightly exhausted and very cold after having to walk the remainder of her way after she parked Sue's car by the tarred road.

She closed the window carefully, taking a minute to allow her sight to adjust to the darkness and adjust to her impulsive foolish actions. She was in Jacob Black's room at three thirty in the morning, fuming and cold.

She could see his long body spread out peacefully on the bed.

"Perfect" she said snarkily "You get to sleep while I get to go mad?"  
>She walked over to him slowly, the car keys glinting in the darkness. He was laying on his back, his hands raised slightly above his head and a slack tired expression on his face. He seemed... worn out, she thought.<p>

She almost felt sorry for him...

Almost...

She pushed his arm and he made no movement or inclination to wake up, snoring gently instead before turning onto his side and wrapping his arm defensively around his torso. She punched his arm with her better hand this time and he continued to sleep so she let a series of steadily increasing in force punches fall on his arm...

"Stupid..." she hissed "Jacob..." she huffed with another punch "Black!" she snarled.

He started, bolting upright and growled viciously into the night and swung his arm reflexively through the air and before Leah could register that Jacob had woken up, or that Jacob's eyes glowed an inhuman orangey yellow in the darkness and that a stabbing terror had possessed her body into immobility...

Jacob's arm impacted across Leah's body and sent her across the room and his bedroom ended her journey painfully. She slammed against the wall hard, slumping down and crashing onto the floor.

"The fuck...!" Jacob snarled, shuddering. She could see him from the floor, sitting on the bed still with his arms tensed and lips pulled over his teeth. His eyes still shown iridescent and tremors rolled under her skin. He hadn't seen her yet, sniffing the air deliberately.

"Jake?" she squeaked and his head snapped down, his eyes wide and unbelieving on her face.

"Leah?" he asked and then those burning eyes were hidden from her. He had closed his eyes, she was sure, in denial that she was in his room, or that she had seen those fearsome eyes... or registering that he had just hit her.

"Jake... my arm" she stammered, touching her arm gingerly.

When he looked at her, the fire in his eyes was gone. He moved swiftly off the bed and in the darkness, she could tell he was naked but she could make no distinction to his form... thankfully.

"How could you do that!?" he admonished in a harried whisper, touching her arm slowly and deliberately. She flinched at the touch instinctively, understanding that there was pain to be associated with her arm now but then the feel of his heat in her cold state was enchanting.

"You lied to me" she said slowly, determinedly "You scare me..."  
>"I apologized!" he begged "I didn't want to! I couldn't help it... and now..."<br>"And now you have hit me" she breathed, scowling at him.

"I was having a nightmare and you walked right into it!" he said dejectedly, massaging her arm slowly "It wasn't really like I hit you... it's just my strength..."  
>She took in a careful breath and watched his face. He wouldn't look at her, only glancing at her face and concentrating his efforts on her arm.<p>

"It's just a twinge" she said after a while. "It's the arm I bust"

He withdrew his hands slowly and knelt in front of her, his hair falling over his face in duo curtains. He reached to his left and pulled a piece of fabric-boxers, Leah realised-and rose fluidly to put them on. She looked away politely, heart still stuttering in her chest and vision possessed by images of zooming vampires, giant wolves and Jacob's eyes.

"You can get into the bed" Jacob sighed, waving his hand behind him, to the bed. "I got blankets in the closet... since, the sheet incident I thought..."  
>"It would be prudent to be more accommodating of guest in your bed to get blankets, eh?" she laughed nervously, allowing him to help her up and heading to the closet. She took the blankets out and made the bed while he watched in silence, his eyes boring through her and arms knotted over his chest.<p>

"Why are you here, Leah?" he murmured. He got into bed next to her, flinging the blankets away from his body and pushing them to Leah. He folded his hands under his head and stared at the ceiling, awaiting her reply.

She only huffed a little, biting her lip before looking back at his face. He wasn't frowning and scowling like she remembered from the car and she that gorgeous sorrow that had been on his face when she had revealed how much he had scared her was etched in her memory. He was beautiful, she realised...

Or more truthfully, acknowledged to herself.

"You lied to me" she whispered, pulling the pillow into her arms and cuddling it.

"About...?"  
>"Everything" she breathed tentatively. When he had scared her in the car, something about him had been awoken to her... he may have been little ickle Jacob once, but now... he was a man. So suddenly and incongruously, he was a man.<p>

He closed his eyes and opened them slowly and she watched the thick eyelashes touch the apex of his cheek planes before disappearing under his thick eyebrows.

"I didn't lie to you" he said sternly "Ever. I only told you to stay away from Angela and the Cullens"  
>"I saw something interesting today"<br>"Another one of their kind..." he said quickly "Let's not talk about it..."  
>"It was an interesting day..." she smiled "Besides the... dangers. I started wondering how it is you knew almost immediately that my story was fake... and why you reacted that way?"<br>He remained silent, pursing his lips.

"At first I thought that maybe you were keeping their secret for them..."  
>"They?"<br>"The... Spirit Warriors" Leah said softly. "But then I saw your eyes... like a wolf's eyes..."  
>"Leah..." Jacob warned "I keep telling you how safe you are in <em>not knowing<em>!"  
>"And then I realised you weren't keeping their secrets for them..." she charged on "Right this minute... I realised that you were actually one of them..."<p>

"I didn't lie to you" he breathed.

"You just didn't tell me the truth while I was going half insane"  
>"You think my telling you that would have made it better or worse...?" he turned onto his side and moved his arm under her head and bore into her eyes. She knew he was right then because before she had calmed down after seeing the wolves and the other vampire; she had been dangerously desperate.<p>

"Answer me!" he commanded and she shivered, closing her eyes and hiding her face from him. She was aware that she was currently in bed with the impossible; she had witnessed through a hidden window and impossible world and now, she had to face reality...

Could she handle that? There it was, the truth, but could she handle it...

His hot finger touched her temple and trailed along the side of her face, down her neck before moving back up and under her chin; he tilted her head up and she felt his hot breath move over her face "Leah" he murmured "Would it have made it better?"

"No" she breathed.

"You were half past sanity, Lee" he said and through her closed eyelids she knew his eyes were imploring her to open her own eyes. "They... the Cullens, they do that to people they come into contact with... You know, Bella is obsessed with Edward. Leah, please... look at me"

She opened her eyes and gulped, that enchanting regret was on his face again.

"I don't want you to fear me even because of this" he whispered "I'm still the old Jake?"  
>"No you are not" she said slowly. His finger traced her face, her eyelids, and her nose and gingerly moved over her lips.<p>

"You were upset because you thought I lied to you" he said, smiling a little. "You drove all the way here at three thirty in the morning... because you thought I had broken your trust?" he was grinning widely "Being able to trust me is very important to you?"

"Shut up" she didn't know why she didn't like his words. He smiled wider in response and stopped his distracted inspection of her face.

"It's late..." he said gently, pulling the blankets up around her "And if I'm going to deal with Sam tomorrow... I need mental rest" he stroked the hair away from her face and pulled the pillow out of her arms, lifting her head and placing it underneath her head.

"I'll call Sue first thing tomorrow" Jacob yawned before pulling her abruptly to his chest and winding his arm around her. She stiffened but he didn't release her, placing a hot kiss on her forehead and nudging her forehead with his. He was too close to her, she was too aware of this and the image of him standing in the darkness of the room in his boxers filtered through.

She tried to pull away from his loose grip but failed futilely and he chuckled, the movement of his laughter through his chest easily discernible.

"What's the problem, Leah?" he laughed "We used to cuddle all the time"  
>"That was before you turned into a pervy teenage... wolf" she grumbled.<p>

"You're the one who keeps coming back into my bed, Clearwater..." he yawned. "A wolf and a cougar cuddling... who knew?"


	33. Feeling Undone

**FEELING UNDONE**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

She was proof that heaven could be anywhere...

"I can't believe the year is over!" Angela laughed. Her hair was wild around her face, her glasses removed and placed on her bedside table and _my _t-shirt hung loosely on her frame. She was animated today, twirling in her room and speaking rapidly; the soft sound of her new favourite song lilting through the room, a perfect background to a wonderful morning.

"I can't believe it too" I smiled. She was fishing through her drawer now, looking for a specific dress while musing over the year; over me, over Leah, over her mother, over her father, over her brother... over everything, as only she knew how to; such a spacious heart, to include creatures like Lauren and Jessica in her blessings for an amazing summer.

I was left in the bitter sweet realisation that my heaven was about to leave soon; to go off on a family trip long overdue, to England. I fell back on the bed and sighed, listening to her small feet pattering over the wood; her speech increasing in volume and subconsciously following the rhythm of the song.

"...It has been the best year of my life" she sat down on the bed, draping her dress next to me. It was a coral colour, v-neck with a flower print hem. I could feel myself getting inappropriately excited at the prospect of seeing it on her, the anticipation so immaturely fierce in me that for a second, I was about to suggest by-passing a shower (which was another exciting episode for a corner of my immortal mind that remained seventeen, unfortunately it was a torture for the rest of me that wasn't and knew the repercussions of _musing_ on shower times).

"It has been the best year of my existence" I got up and sat behind her, kissing the back of her neck lightly and hugging her. She fell into my arms, giggling lightly and tilted her head up so she could see me. I kissed her nose then, then her forehead and scooped her onto my lap so I could kiss her firmly on the lips.

She knew that was my intention and quickly avoided the kiss, covering her mouth and peeking at me shyly.

"If you had morning breath, I would have smelt it while you were chatting away" I laughed and her thoughts turned jumpy and she did her panic dance perfectly for me; wondering if I was serious, musing on what else my sense of smell could pick up and then wishing she hadn't...

"So I don't?" she said through clenched teeth and barely parted lips. I kissed her quickly, then placed her carefully on the bed, moving slowly over her body. Her thoughts spluttered, just the way I liked them to and when I ran my hand along the outline of her body, she shivered exquisitely.

"How am I going to survive with you in England?" I sighed over her face and she swallowed my breath, drowned in my scent; pulling me in deeper, dangerously so into our cocoon, our heaven of teenage bliss.

"It's a week" she sighed, her heart thrumming appealingly in her chest, pushing my shirt up with each one of its elegant swells and subsides. "Just..." I pushed the shirt up and felt her hip bone, tracing my finger up "...a silly..." I pressed the flesh at her sides gently, feeling her ribcage and tracing upwards, the side of her breast "week!" she let out breathlessly, pulling my head to her mouth and fisting my hair. She wound her legs around my waist, raised her hips off the bed...

"I can smell you" I whispered in her mouth, and she gasped, releasing me and falling back on the bed in such adorable horror. I wished I could take a picture of her expression for as resilient as my mind was, my sanity could not be trusted once I was away from her; I would need proof that I had been to heaven and survived its wonders.

"You can be such an _ass_!" she wiggled free, slapped my arm and fixed her pyjama pants, righted my t-shirt and stormed to the bathroom. She turned the shower on and in a second, the heat of the hot water spilt into her room. Her thoughts wanted more, her body needed it but our hearts were united in anxiety.

To love someone without proper reason save that their soul sang to you, to want someone so greedily and insincerely and to need them as though they were a cure to a devastating disease; love, want and need were barely ever united for one being? Could they?

No! This was absurdity, to feel so completely and accurately connected to someone that the thought of them disappearing from your sights ruined your sanity; ruined your equilibrium and centre in yourself.

She felt it too, and I felt it tenfold for the both of us; we loved each other with holiness and sacred promises; but we were _in love_, so cruelly and selfishly that the world could burn to ash in the face of our lust and need and want...

For loving was one thing, but to be _in love_ was rupturing; it wrapped itself around your heart, body and mind and pushed reason out. There was no reason in our heaven; wants, need and fear pushed back and forth, threatened to destroy and create wonders.

"You can smell me?" she stood by the bathroom door, her hand fisted and resting threateningly on the door frame.

"Of course I can smell you" I knew what she meant, but I was... lost in feelings, emotions, misery and her. I was being an ass, as she said; but, her _ass_ nonetheless. "I have a nose"

"I have a nose too!" she took two challenging steps away from the door, a semi charge at me and behind her the mist and heat from the shower swirled. Her hair uncombed, her eyes laid bare without her glasses on and skin flushed and dewy; my shirt, our scents mingled on her... impracticality

"You can smell me" I said slowly, trying to level my voice; it came out hoarse for me, dangerously low and lulling to her "My scent. It's like flowers and cologne, no?"  
>"You know what I mean, Edward" she moved, my eyes traced her outline from her shoulders and swinging arms, her breasts shape under the shirt and her hips, thighs... I could calculate easily where what was where, how it was shaped from memory of touching her... I wanted to touch her... badly...<p>

And underneath those heady thoughts, the reminder that I would be without her, lost in memory for a week; _create new ones, _ a mischievous voice breathed in my ear.

"Yes" I watched her indecently "I can smell it when you want me"

She stopped then, her eyes wide and mouth ajar. _Did I just say that out loud?_ We both thought.

"It's biological, Angela" I wanted to smile, make it light but I was in bondage; I wanted her so badly, she was in sync with my want and only I had control. It must be quite a sight, our little unstable heaven to God, her standing but a hands reach away from me and my stiff form on the bed, staring through the clothes, to her flesh and into her soul... hungered beyond belief, famished almost to insanity... but I had a shred of control left to me.

I got up. I walked over to her. I kissed her forehead "Take that shower, my love... I will go hunt before the Summer Festival and I'll come back with Alice and Rosalie in the Volvo. Rose wouldn't miss an opportunity to be with the twins"

"You aren't fair" she said sulkily, peeking up at me with those large brown eyes and ruining my decision.

"You don't want me to come back with Alice and Rose?" I tried to understand her thoughts.

"I don't want you to go" she whispered, almost fearfully but it made no sense. She looked to the bathroom door, the room was flooded in mist. "You could take a shower here..."  
>I smiled, contemplating telling her that only one of us sweated.<p>

"...with me" she finished so quietly, and yet the words boomed like a gong in my mind.

_With me, with me..._ her voice rung and reverberated in my head, a war cry that the base side of me saluted readily.

"I do need to hunt" I smiled.

"After?" she was nervous but she wasn't letting up. She knew I wanted her, she didn't need to smell it on my skin; we were synchronized in the danger of being in love, and she was selfish and I was greedy...

"I can't shower with you" I said frankly "But I will stay"  
>"Why can't you shower with me?"<br>"I want you" I stated.

"I want you too" she said.

"I haven't hunted" I repeated and then paused, saying slowly "I am terribly horny for you Angela and what you want us to do would be dangerous. I should hunt before we try... that... showering... it wouldn't be platonic"  
>"I didn't expect it to be"<br>"I could kiss you down... there" I couldn't blush but she did it for the both of us "I liked pleasing you..." she was red as I pushed forward with my confession, inappropriately marinating in front of me so my mind boiled and body quaked with urges "I would love to do it again..."  
>"I would like you to" she squeaked.<p>

"Go shower" I sat on the bed, stiffly and uncomfortably. My pants were too tight, my mind crowded and fingers clenched.

"I would like to please you too, Edward" she added softly. "I would like to do it in the shower, we could do it in the shower..." she moved, she walked slowly over to me, her fingers fumbling the t-shirt. "The house is empty..."  
>"I know that" I had no idea why I was snapping, but I was scared of her; of us. Of the shower, of the songs on her playlist, of the hard on in my pants. She lowered her head and negotiated with my eyes for eye contact .<p>

"Your eyes are dark" she whispered "You hunt a lot these days"

"You are ovulating" I stated. She blushed for the both of us.

"You smell that too?"  
>"I <em>feel<em> that" I said.

"For all women?"

"For you" I frowned "You are the only woman, Angela; you have compelled my every sense and reason, don't you see?"  
>"And yet I can't get you naked and into the shower?" she touched my collar and attempted to remove one button. I held her hand. My mind and body was aware of the proximity, that I was touching her, that we wanted each other; that the shower had been on for too long and Pastor Weber's water bill would be high.<p>

The usual absurdity.

"I don't trust myself" I said slowly.

"I trust you" she kissed my forehead "Sometimes, that's enough if I trust you"  
>I allowed her to remove the first button, then the second "What do you want?" I asked her.<br>"You" she said "I want you but for our heavy moral principles right now... I'll settle for watching you enjoy me?"  
>I could see the image. My chest tightened and the mechanics of a vampire body worked swiftly; I was going to purr. I didn't know what was worse, the erection or the sound of me purring; the initial was a reaction she would garner from any man, the latter was alien and unnatural.<p>

I purred. A low grating sound I had never done, until her. I allowed her to remove the buttons, sitting too still and gazing off, staring at the wall. My vision was weighed down by her thoughts; her kneeling, the water, me...

"I should hunt" I spluttered.

"You should let me take care of you" she touched the button of my pants, then moved back. "Get up, Edward"

I looked out the window as I rose, childishly thinking of running to it and bolting for the woods.

"I have no practice..."  
>"I'd be worried if you have given yourself one..."<br>"Seriously, Angela?" I frowned at her. "I mean, sensations and... control... You are breakable!"

"I think you are breakable too, Edward" she knelt in front of me and undid the button, unzipped the pants and pushed them down. "Let me break you?" she looked up at me, and I stupidly nodded my head.

She got up, and I kicked the pants off. She reached her hand out to me and I took it, allowing her to lead us into the little bathroom I had mused over for many an hour.

Xx~xx~xX

I had never had any reason to come into her bathroom.

"Is it too hot for you?" she asked, her hand waving through the water raining down. She adjusted the faucets and sighed "Is my hot very hot for you?"

"Your hot would do" I said "Just a little less..."

"You're feeling the water through my mind?" she smiled, tilting her head to look at me. We were both aware that I was the one in my underwear here, her appreciation of the black boxers fuelling my discomfort at failing to lower my... hard on. "That's kind of cool"  
>"I suppose..." I decided to feel the temperature for myself "I am cold so... things are hotter for me. Your favourite heat would be just slightly uncomfortable, but I'd survive..." I readjusted the hot faucet so the steam still came up "And it will make both of us more comfortable" I said "I don't want you shivering because of me..."<br>"It would be rather awkward when my teeth chatter around _you_" she said audaciously, smirking at me with such sensual impishness that I knew I was the only one feeling shy about her remark.

"Those lips and the arsenal behind them..." I touched her full lower lip and ran my finger along the velvet, felt their suppleness and imagined the many nerves spread thinly on the cushions shivering and quaking under my touch, alerting her brain that there was a presence on them that sought to devour and suck... "Could do no damage to me, even if you tried; you are a weapon of _pleasures_ for me, no matter if you bit and gnawed..."

"Maybe I'll do just that!" she laughed, catching my finger in her mouth and rolling it between her teeth. She applied pressure, then a little more and tried to bite before sucking as hard as she could. I pulled my finger out of her mouth and showed it to her, ignoring the pulsing in my groin as best as I could to keep our foreplay rolling.

"Not a bite mark from you" I whispered before lowering my head to her neck, kissing her lightly "But it would be so easy to mark you as mine"  
>"Do it!" she breathed.<p>

"You're being absurd, Angela... catch your senses before you lose your mind"

She took the t-shirt off, throwing it impetuously on top of the sink and removed the pyjama pants before wiggling out of her panties. She stood naked before me and raised her chin; I knew her thoughts, she was becoming a proficient actress but her nerves harassed her heart.

"Your beauty could cause God to form an ego and disregard all other creations" I whispered.

"Blasphemy" she said shyly, stepping into the water, her eyes daring me to follow. I watched her in the haze of mist, standing under the shower; sensual and golden, curved and delicate-heavens, she could only ever be mine!

The thought that eternity would roll out, that she would be human, that I was insufficient; that thought reared its head and I wanted to break and cry on the floor and beg for a scenario where I could but have a beating heart and die with her.

"You thrill the senses" I breathed. She didn't hear me, pushing her hair away from her face and staring at me. I stepped into the heat, through the steam and stood as close to her as I could, the water flowing hot over my skin.

"Why do you never believe me when I tell you these things?" I kissed her forehead.

"The beauty thing?" she asked, touching my chest and pressing, marvelling at the contrast of our skin.

"Yes, the 'beauty thing'" I murmured reaching for her shampoo. Strawberry. It warmed me to think my hair would smell like hers.

"Sometimes I think you are mad" she giggled gently "Absolutely insane" she looked up at me, her eyes wide "You _are_ beauty, Edward"  
>"A..."<br>"Monster" she cut me fluidly, kissing my chest and resting her head there. I wondered if she could hear the dark winds move in the cavity were my heart should be; was that what she would be listening to , when she rested her head on my chest; the sorrowful song of a heart departed.

"Rosalie is beautiful" she said and I scoffed. "You are all beautiful" she sighed. "I am but a girl"  
>"An angel" I said kissing the top of her head. "My angel; there are ways in which you saved me that will never be apparent to you"<br>"You saved me too" she said "You... are like my glasses. You showed me things, but not only of the world... but of myself. Edward, you make me a woman"

I was silent.

"You care for me like a man should" she kissed my chest "As young as we are, as ancient as your mind is? You take nothing from me and you give everything of you. You don't need me..."  
>"I need you" I cut her, shocked at how vicious my voice was, as though I would argue with her to the death on the matter. "I need you badly and forever"<p>

"You love me because you can" she said "You love my family because you can. You are beauty Edward, and you teach me everyday how to be a woman and in you I know what kind of woman I will be"

We were young, I was immortal and we knew nothing about being in love. I looked in her eyes and saw my reflection; pale and vampire. I looked in her eyes, and saw my reflection; _her _man.

I looked in her eyes and saw everything I could not be in the end; a husband, a father, a grandfather... slumbering in death, received by God. I wept, she saw no tear for they had died with my heart but I knew...

I was weeping in the shower... with a hard on. Absurdity and misery, love and truth; yes, she could break me so perfectly and flawlessly; equal pieces of me, hammered by her words and set strewn by the power of her love.  
>"..." I wanted to tell her the truth; I could never be her man. "You have matured me too" I said instead. I was seventeen and immortal, I knew already what her teenage bliss had failed to comprehend; her and I were so deeply in love, but the nature of the world would see us apart. It may seem so far for her, but it was tomorrow for me.<p>

I could not scoop her in my arms and deny her a life; deny her family trips, college experiences in their human naturalness, working, being who she is...

I kissed her gently, and she met my misery with her passion and wiped it away. We were synchronised once again; her want trying to reach the apex mine was at. She kissed my neck, biting hard and gentle; wisping tenderness lain along my neck. My worry was gone, her scent swirled with the water and mist momentarily before being suppressed in the liquid and dew. She kissed down my chest, her fingers trailing after those planted kissed and finally, she was kneeling in front of me.

She looked up at me, and I gulped. She kissed the tip, and the shower cubicle filled with the sound of my purr. She licked and sucked, I died and revived, she kissed and nibbled, I growled and swore and her hands went along the width; fingers curling around it, pressure so delicate, and warmth so pure...

"Angela...!" I breathed and she stroked, sucking. My hands wanted to go into her hair, dangerous intentions. I held the edges of the glass cubicle, gripping. The glass and frame groaned.

Her fingers were moving around, touching and feeling, stroking and handling while her lips, tongue and _teeth_ dared me to remain sane. I could feel the glass shudder, hear my growls, wondering why they did not frighten her, drowning in the heady feel of each suck, pull, tug, stroke and bite...

"I'm..." oh, I had never had this done but I had heard Emmett enough times to know the mechanics. I was chanting her name, my skin intoxicated by her touch, nerves ablaze... "Angela...!"

"You can't...!" I breathed, vaguely aware that the glass had cracked and a wicked jagged line ran through it. I hit my head back and the tiles chipped, I released the left frame and saw it had bent, I tried to grip it again and the glass there cracked too so I settled to gouge through the tiles, through the plastering and into the wall.

It felt _good._ It felt too good, too sweet, too much, decadent, hot tongue and satin teeth, swirls and licks, nips...

"I'm... you cannot swallow...!" I couldn't believe the words tumbling out of my mouth, but she heard them and understood the fear, sucking hard twice and stroking before removing her mouth and using her hands and...

White noise.

This was the closest to being _out of my mind_ I had ever been. The water washed over me, I was aware that I was sitting, tiles and bits of rubble were on the floor, swept into the drain and the entire glass cubicle shattered, the frame still vaguely there though.

"Angela?" I whispered in fear, analyzing the water of any blood, sniffing the air frantically.

"I think the neighbours heard you..." she was standing by the window "Three houses down"

"Uh..." I looked around me. I didn't know what the protocol was. I knew I had growled, too loudly and with little care and plenty of thoughtlessness. "I didn't pass out" I said to myself, realising that my mind had recorded details, but it felt... secondary, inconsequential, because in that moment my every nerve and thought had tuned into Angela.

"Vampires don't pass out"

"You wrecked the shower" she pointed at me. I looked around, and smiled sheepishly at her. "You wrecked the wall...?"  
>"If my hands had not found something to do..."<br>"Let's not think like that" she kissed me quickly "But I know one thing your lips can do... before we go to the Festival"

"Hmm, pay back would be getting the neighbours four houses down to hear _you_, I suppose..." I grinned at her.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

When you have been alone, for as long as she had; belonging becomes the scariest thing ever.

"It's so wonderful that you will be joining us" her mother beamed and she smiled back willingly enough, a little excitement in her heart-a little fear too. This would be the first time she belonged, the first time she wasn't... so broken, so alone and maybe, so forgettable.

She brushed her hair back, smiling a little to herself and watched as Sue Clearwater chopped carrots. She wasn't listening, even though she really had been trying for the past half an hour but her thoughts were much louder than her mother's voice. They whistled in her mind, sending dancing images over her vision and Leah couldn't help but blush and blanche as her memories of every incident since her first day at Forks High, every image flashed over her eyes.

"I am so glad you will be there" Sue's voice peeped over the sound of giggling teenagers and Leah's shame at being so inept; she had gone back into the classroom, she was stumbling and falling; miserable under the realisation that even so far from the Reservation, no one respected her.

She shook her head, cleared her mind of the heavy negativity the memory brought and gave her mother a bit of focus "I am... kind of glad too" Leah sighed.

"We were all so worried!" Sue sighed, placing the knife down briefly and shaking her head slowly "We couldn't tell you, Lee and yet you were running towards it"  
>"I know" she whispered.<p>

"Like that Angela girl..." Sue resumed her chopping with fervour, scowling now "Stupid girl, Lee. Let her be"  
>"She's my friend"<br>"We are your family" Sue Clearwater said strongly "We would not lead you to... danger"  
>"She didn't lead me to that vampire" Leah huffed, ignoring her mother's wince at the mention of vampires. They were to acknowledge them, but never say the words; it was silly, Leah thought.<p>

It was necessary for their sanity, she realised, but her sanity was long gone. Sometimes, she thought Seth had died with it.

"It doesn't matter" Sue smiled "Jacob saved you"  
>"Uhm..." Leah frowned. "No he didn't"<br>"He was there..."  
>"Yes but..." she droned out, remembering the fateful day she had been flung across the clearing... and caught in a russet wolf's mouth. "Jacob" she realised.<p>

She stared at her fingers; the nails were short, chipped and dirty. She frowned, she didn't want to think about Jacob right now. She wanted to find her own centre and not fall into the weird security that Jacob created.

He was a teenage boy. She was a woman; she was settled, she had dreams and ambitions and she knew she was strong, now. She didn't need...

"Jacob!" Sue called, waving at someone from the kitchen window. Leah's heart clenched and released, spluttered and revved up. She swallowed her anxiety.

The moment he walked through the door, she scowled.  
>"Leah..." Jacob said unsure, wary of her.<p>

"Jacob" she greeted formally.

"Uhm, I came to take you to Emily's?" Jacob said, never entering the kitchen and standing tall and imposing in the door frame.

"I don't think I want to go" Leah resumed staring at her fingers, glaring at her nails; remembering Sam Uley, hating that she wanted to go just so she could see him, hating that she didn't want to go because Emily was his and much more feminine, hating that she didn't want to go because Jacob Black elicited strange things from her...

She was strong and a woman, and incredibly terrified of her reality. She had to go because that's what it meant belonging. At least, that was what it meant in her tribe.

"I'll be there" Jacob said softly, smiling a little. He was looking right at her, reading her every thought and Sue was standing by the sink, gripping the knife and caught between apprehension and anticipation.

"Comforting" Leah said sarcastically.

"All we are doing is getting the food from Emily's to the bon fire at the beach" Jacob smiled and she felt her uneasiness desist, she felt that security coming over her and she got angry at herself.

She wasn't in control, once again but this time she had two options; go with it or run far, far away. She looked at her mother and knew how much she loved the stubborn woman and she dared to look at Jacob, and something inside her whispered that he would try and follow if she ran.

She was sadistically curious of this; would he follow her? The strength it caused her, to know her move would get a reaction from him; he maybe a teenager, but he was untainted power. She looked away from him and back at her nails, raising her hand and biting them and walking towards the lounge, heading for her room "I'll go get my sweater and bag, give me a sec, Jake"

Xx~xx~xX

"You're being weird today" Jacob breathed. She stared out the window, at the whizzing trees and contemplated her confusion.

"Is it about the... morning... wood" he said slowly "I totally have no control over that"  
>"Stop talking, your sounding more and more <em>fifteen<em>" she said absently.

"Sixteen" he grumbled "I was only a few weeks from my birthday, you know"

She remained silent.

"She's hot then she's cold..." he sang for a bit but she gave him no reaction and soon he was quiet. He stopped the car a little up Sam's driveway, turning the engine off and leaning back heavily in the seat. "You are not weak" he told her. "Everyone expects you to be weak and then, you give them what they want... but deep down, you aren't weak Leah Clearwater"  
>"Motivational speeches a new thing for you?" she asked him.<p>

"You are a new thing for me" he said and closed his eyes when he registered the words that had trickled from his brain and out of his mouth "I care about you" he said strongly and that conviction frightened her "And whatever you are contemplating, you better believe you aren't in it alone"

"You're a kid"  
>"I am six foot seven and turn into a giant wolf" he smiled sadly "Kid flew out of the window a while ago"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

She was nervous.

"...and their leader spoke to Sam" Emily said softly, looking out the window to the outside, were the men were loading logs into the back of the truck. They were much too far to hear but Emily remained jumpy, constantly shaking her head and telling Leah that Sam may not like that she spoke of it...

"...so they _will _be staying here for a bit" Emily said, pursing her lips and her eyes large. Leah traced the slashed on her face; something about them made her uneasy, not the thought of Emily's pain-she had long ago realised she was incapable of being that cruel and had wept with her cousin over the loss of her once remarkable beauty; Leah realised how _large _the claw marks were...

"A bit?" Leah asked.

"A bit to them is a few years" Emily nodded her head as though she were an expert on all things vampire. "A few more years of this, for them..." Emily pointed out the window, to the men.

"Yeah" Leah smiled awkwardly.

"I remember how you used to speak of Sam" Emily said softly and Leah tensed, electricity coursing in her hands.

"Yeah" she smiled awkwardly again.

"I know it must be hard..."  
>"Yeah" she was grinning, a mad woman in Sam Uley's kitchen.<p>

"Look, I feel bad?"  
>"Yeah..."<p>

"Do you still have feelings for him...?" Emily asked quietly. She was about to say more, when they heard a loud barking laugh from outside. Leah peeked out the window, and saw Sam Uley shirtless swinging an impossibly large log at Paul effortlessly.

Leah had been staring at him until her eyes felt a presence, a gaze burning over her face. She flicked her gaze left and met Jacob's eyes; curious dark things that seemed miserably grateful that she had looked into their depths. He was standing by the shed, very close to the house. She closed the curtain abruptly, startling Emily.

"Lee...?"

"Just... adjusting" Leah whispered, folding her arms tightly over her chest.

"Leah, I am sorry about it" Emily sighed, touching Leah's arms. "I couldn't... help it..."  
>"It's okay" Leah nodded her head. "He's a great guy, I'm happy... you're happy"<p>

"We want you to be happy too" Emily smiled and Leah's own smile faltered at her 'we'. They discussed her misery, they spoke of how miserable a person she was. "Will you be returning to Forks High?"

"I don't know"  
>"I hope not..." Emily packed the last of her dishes and wiped her hands on her apron. "I think they are done... we should get going"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

The bonfire had been magical; hearing the tales of old, that she knew, told by Billy Black with the her knowledge that it was all real... it changed everything.

She could see what made a wolf now, sitting in the large circle and seeing the other boys. They were tall, they were built and they gave of an aura of unstableness and ruggedness that was entirely masculine and base; all of them, except for a calm and in love Sam.

"He loves her deeply" Jacob whispered to her and Leah closed her eyes, green acid churning inside of her and another sad pathetic fluid beside it; a side of her that thought Emily did indeed deserve that adoration.

She wanted it too. She wondered how she would handle her life, if she had that level of support.

"He loves you..."  
>"Because she loves me" Leah finished, taking a bite of her burger. "I don't believe in love, Jacob"<p>

"But you admitted to their love" Jacob pointed out.

"I don't believe in love for me" Leah clarified "I believe in it for them, for you and Isabella... for anyone but not for me"  
>"Why?"<br>"I don't want it" she said cruelly, frowning at the fire. "Sometimes, it all feels unnecessary. The process of love, the enduring of it and its end. We are all going to die; some will do it in misery, some will do it in love but we shall all die"

"Death is natural" Jacob murmured "Do you know that? That's what makes the Cullen's so unnatural... not dying"  
>"Changing the subject?"<br>"You sound like a bitter harpy when you talk about love" he smiled at her. "You and I both know that's not what you are..."

"You think you know me" she hissed. "You don't"

"I'm learning" he chuckled. "When my mum died, and my sisters left... you were there for me Leah"

And he was there for her, when Seth died, in his own naive childlike way.

"People feel things differently" he said softly, his hot large hand resting over hers. "You hurt, you love, you anger, you laugh... everything, its different to how I would do it and that's _cool_. But what's important, Leah... is that we feel. Always"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Now that she is gone... how will you spend your days?" Jasper teased. We were all contemplating a visit to the Denali Clan, entice Eliza to an impromptu trip to Spain (that Alice had promised he would agree to) and I was twiddling my fingers over my piano keys, missing her dreadfully and fighting an urge settled so perfectly in my heart.

"You are most certainly not going to England!" Alice snapped.

"You'll freak her out with that kind of neediness" Rosalie sighed "It's bad enough you wrecked the shower..."

"You told her!?" I growled at Emmett.

"Dude, sometimes it's like she can just read my mind..." Emmett pulled a small lock of his hair and sat by Rose, whispered to her that she had promised not to think or say it.

"You sleep there, you bathe there now and you want to pack yourself in her suitcase too?" Rosalie laughed "You know what I like about Angela..."  
>"Her brothers?" I laughed.<p>

"She could do so much better than you" Rosalie pouted, gazing of into a future were Angela would marry a man who could give her little replicas of her brothers. Rosalie, even without knowing how to, she could throw a dagger through my dead heart.

"You are not going to England..." Alice said slowly, sitting by my side on the piano and pressing one key, the peal moving through the air "...because Angela and her father need to deal with their issues surrounding her mother"  
>"She would need my support!" I hissed, watching the vision.<p>

"She will need her father" Alice smiled. "The trip will change her, strengthen her..."  
>"Psychic's can never help it can they?" Rosalie laughed "Sounding so pretentiously hopeful about everything..."<p>

"Because there is always hope!" Alice cried, rising impassioned from the seat and twirling in the middle of the room. "Always...!"

"All in all" Jasper grinned at me "It's great knowing you aren't gay"  
>"Would it be so bad if he was?" Alice frowned "I would accept you...!"<br>"You'd just be grateful to have an eager participant in your shopping endeavours" Rosalie giggled.

"I like fashion" I frowned.  
>"When I met Edward..." Rosalie began "He was wearing the most dreadful waistcoat, with a worn shirt and dusted shoes. It was a gala too! If it were not for his pretty face glowing under the chandelier... I would have mistaken him for a beggar!"<p>

"One cannot to be too excessive about looks" I said "but you challenge that, everyday... Rose"

"I am beauty personified" she smiled derisively at me.

"You're annoyance personified too" I grumbled, dreading the time with Tanya but grateful for so much; as fearful as I was of the future, I had never been more centred on who I was, than now.

The End.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**I realised it was taking forever to come to me, because they had reached the end! Thank you all for the reviews and support and walking through this journey with Edward and Angela; this chapter was refreshing as it had the initial formula of As I Am.**

**I will see you all in the sequel, which I hope to work on as soon as this is being read and reviewed by you! **

**Xx**

**TJ**


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